Why You Feel Like You’re Failing (And How to Stop)
Thanks to Sunsama for sponsoring this video! It’s an ADHD-friendly tool that works with your brain, not against it! Give Sunsama a try. Right now they’re offering a free trial with no credit card needed if you use my link: https://www.sunsama.com/a/jessicafromhowtoadhd
Feeling like you’re failing at life? Same. I’ve been dropping balls left and right—late to things, forgetting stuff, constantly apologizing. Turns out, I overbuilt my life! In this episode, I share why it happens, what I’m doing about it, and how you can stop adding more and start building a life you can actually enjoy.
Also, check out this webinar about balancing the invisible load of work and family (I'm pretty sure you can still sign up for it and get access to recording, if you can't let me know in the comments!): https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/invisible-load-motherhood-adhd-parenting-stress/
Why You Feel Like You’re Failing (And How to Stop) (YouTube)
Comments (8)
As someone who was diagnosed ADHD after having a child for something that sounded exactly like this experience. All my systems I had made for my self essentially had to be thrown out and started again rather than keep adding more to my life. I did a lot of meditation and for me during this time treating this as a grieving processes seemed to help me a lot of letting go and having the time to follow those threads to discover what was sitting behind them.
This video has really resonated with me- both in the story you shared that makes me reflect on my own story but also the strategies. So much is how we frame it. Words matter :) So many thoughts to share came up for me! In my adhd way I could write so much! 1. My kids are now 11 and 13. If I knew when they were born / little, what I know now (I didn't know I had adhd), I probably wouldn't have burnt out. And I burnt out hard. The fact you DO know now Jessica, is fantastic. That awareness doesn't mean it's not going to be hard. But now you can be more intentional (which results in more present). My therapist said once "Just because it's hard doesn't mean you are doing it wrong or you need to fix something about yourself". That was an eye opener.
2. The "growth" mindset is something I constantly question as helpful. At least for myself - constantly "growing" = that means I'm not enough as I am. What am I trying to achieve with that particular goal? I guess that maybe is the curating part?
Awesome timing! Idk if it’s the wiggity wack nature of holidays but I find myself taking stock of my year and life and simultaneously feel in the pressure to mask and be the “good kid” for my family. I feel like I fail on both fronts bc I try to do both. But ofc, our only job is to be ourselves and part of life is learning what we want and don’t want to be. Really grateful for your videos, Jess. They’re important reminders that we are all trying, learning, and inventing new systems along the way.
This was an incredibly timely video for where I'm currently at with things, so thank you for this video.
Glad it was well timed and definitely hope it helps!
I get a holiday break this year (!!!! I'm so excited ahhh!!!) and I've been trying to figure out how to adult after healing trauma. Thanks!
And by "adult" I mainly mean how do I build a brain-healthy weekday (FT work + 3 kids and 2 adults 5/5 ADHD), as well as a brain-healthy weekend (home). I built a city that kept me in burnout and now that I've entirely broken those bad habits, I don't have any habits at all for keeping my home clean. And being honest, needs a lot of declutter work first -- my Wall of Awful. I don't know how to get that done and my gosh I feel like the biggest failure.