800 - Puzzle Palace (1/22/24)
EDIT: Original post of this episode contained some muted audio clips. File is now fixed, redownload to correct.
We start off today’s episode with a farewell to the DeSantis campaign as the Never Back Down PAC backs down, and dedicates its last days to puzzling through Iowa to the Moon Palace Retreat. We discuss Biden’s general lack of a coherent position going into this long, long general campaign, and how it’s leaving his would-be defenders in the lurch. BUT, for the main thrust of this ep, we celebrate one man: The Beekeeper. Because when the hive is threatened, when the Queen is producing faulty Offspring, then there’s one man you must call. To Bee or Not To Bee? To bee, bitch. Let’s keep some bees.
Tickets to Talking Simpsons at SF Sketchfest on 1/24 here: https://sfsketchfest2024.sched.com/event/1VUtV/talking-simpsons
Comments (192)
Will’s trump impression is deeply fulfilling, both sexually and spiritually
Protect da hive
So nice to have Amber back
I missed and now I can’t find it. What’s the name of the puzzle? I kind of want to buy one
Moon Cabin Retreat
You guys missed it - the South African dude killed a beekeeper. He’s an African wasp. They kill bees. There’s your final boss 😂
Wait, amber says her boyfriend started clapping, her and Matt poly or something
Don't tell anyone, but it's me.
Damn I miss Amber as a regular
chapo go on chapo
Bluewaffle SS was CRAZY
Jason Statham vs. Tony Todd in BEEKEEPER 2: SUITE 2 THE SWEET
Will menaker voice crack at 7:16 lol
"500 Miles" by The Proclaimers should have been played over a montage of Jashon Shhtathum waking up, and when the Afrikaner has that gun on him, the Afrikaner should say "When I pull this trigger, Bee Keeper, I'LL be the winner!", but then Jashun Shtafum quips, No, I'LL be!", then releases a horde of bees on the Afrikaner with Edwin McCain's "I'll Be" plays over
I tried reading Caste and the writer uses a metaphor to explain everything, like pages about a meteor crash in Russia, all so you get what she means when she writes Trump was a meteor crashing into US politics. Dogshit stuff
Amber on fire in this one lol
Amber needs to do a show with the Chapo wives.
We love crosstalk, don’t we folks
I can feel Ambers power growing every episode
Absolutely not true that “they didn’t even try to manufacture consent” for the Iraq War. Huh, Amber? It was hugely popular at the time, largely manufactured
I think (?) she was referring the resistance against it cause she mentioned occupy wall st and stuff but I'm not sure
Man, this one had that old chapo feel to it. Great episode, everyone!
The name of the Never Back Down headquarters’ centerpiece puzzle was Moonlight Cabin RETREAT??
I need a David Ayer movie, penned by Wimmer and staring Jon Bernthal to experience true nirvana.
he needs to be the villain in Beekeeper 2
This pod is in dire need of more energy and different content. Im shocked at how Chapo has devolved in a "Republican bad and stupid" while the only incursion onto left fuckery is simulataneously endlessly ranting about Biden/Israel. Most bullshit related to the left is somehow not a topic of interest on this show anymore. if Amber wasnt on I'd call it for Chapo. Honestly, I miss Virgil. And an update about Matt.
What sort of left fuckery do you have in mind? I can guarantee that every left sect in every church basement in the world is ranting about Biden/Israel right now. There's been a lot of antidemocratic imperial maneuvering in South America recently, with Ecuador's emergency state being the major example, but one turns to higher brow pods for these discussions.
What kind of metal does Jason Statham listen to? Ronnie James Beeo
Subbing in amber for Felix helps fill the christman sized hole, the 2 of them together somehow makes it worse
Bee Thousand
Amber was back at her best.
Hugh Laurie hated saying "coronary artery" as House
Yeah duh. House no talk. House big building. For sleep and jerk off.
Great ep, just wish amber would talk over people more, really can’t get enough cross talk. If only more podcasters were unable to understand social cues
Reminded me of early days, where two chapos would refuse to give up on their bits and just talk simultaneously
Beekeeper2: Son of a Bee
Does this involve Jerry Seinfeld or not
Thank you user SanFranciscoGaper for calling for a ceasefire in Gaza!
I’m visualizing Nikki being run over by a caterpillar bulldozer in Gaza! Yaaasss, Queen yo be flattened!
Ron won my giggles when he failed to manage to walk in slightly chunky shoes 👞
I would also be engaged if one of them was murdered via sniper. 🔻
Amber is crushing in this I am thrumming
The use of fear-mongering on the part of the Brandon Defense Squad, instead of any positive messaging gives me some real Adam Curtis "Power of Nightmares"- vibe
Joe Biden will be president for another four years.
We hope Trump gets it; but he will not. People like Israel.
gobbling up Judge Holden references like the slop eater i am. thanks Chris
I work in an office puzzle office and will be sharing that article with some of my coworkers tomorrow, thank you
There are no Gallants in politics, folks. It’s Goofuses all the way down.
As a Gray Man defender I am very excited to see The Beekeeper.
Amber flexing on this ep we love to see it
Amber dropping a samurai Jack reference has instantly made her my favorite podcaster out there please come back on the show
I think a low voter turn out would say more than a vote for Biden. I certainly understand if like abortion or some other issue on the ballot is out there for people to vote on. But Biden? They should be arresting that buffoon for the havoc he’s wrecking, I can’t be expected to vote for him. Democrats had 4 years to earn my vote, instead they chose to take a hatchet to progressive priorities and started a bunch of wars. Those were calculated, ‘risk managed’ decisions. People got paid to make them, and I’m not obligated to validate them. Thumbs down
Fuck Biden but it's definitely worth voting for local/state/resolutions. And as a protest vote, at least Cornell West has messaging involving disbanding NATO, slashing defense, and anti-Zionism.
Why did they keep talking over Amber?
whos amber?
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom let it bee let it bee
If you weren't high watching the Beekeeper you would know the political message was at the end where Jason Keeper literally looks into the camera and asks "Do you serve the law, or do you serve justice" while speaking to the FBI agent that had been chasing him. It is a message to the FBI and secret service. Law vs justice and his last act is literally killing the President's son(likely meant to be the Pres herself). It is a very Facebook patriots movie.
Bye-bye Ron. Bye-bye!
also - and I'm objectively a year late seeing this - if you're looking for a short, insane, and incredibly gratifying ownage-fest, walk don't run to SISU (available on all major VOD platforms). It's a hair under 90 minutes, and the premise is simple: near the waning days of WW2, a platoon of nasty Nazis are doing scorched earth on their way thru the Finnish hinterlands when they come across some far out old man. They make the mistake of fucking with him. That's it. Go forth and see SISU.
really enjoying how Chris is getting into the rhythm of the show - before Matt had his crisis (and prayers continue to be up), his contributions always seemed couched in "Hey sorry to butt in, I'll make this fast, sorry sorry sorry". You got a good radio voice and you got jokes, Chris!
1:09:27 you’ve been FROSTED Chris😂😂
I think the 911th should be the next big milestone episode
Great Ep y’all, more amber plz
Amber just dropping Samurai Jack references as if i'm not going to start hooting and hollering
YAAAsssss!
Thanks for putting up with me… and my bees
Blue Waffle SS is so fucking good holy shit Amber
excessively farting passenger causes american airline flight to turn around
I thought this was gonna be about Kamala and the K hive
When I heard Kurt Wimmer I did soyface
Amber delivers the two funniest lines in today's episode, I love it. The Spotify upload still has the audio gaps so I had to come here to listen to it.
blue waffle SS is god tier
Machine-gun-truck-girl was probably from South Shore MA
RSS feed is still giving me the flubbed file for some reason. Had to hop on my computer and download the file straight off a browser, like a hacker.
+1 to this, rss feed still giving me a file with audio gaps
why wouldn’t it be a beequel
I'm pitching a revenge thriller called THE BUD GROWER, starring Emily Blunt. Folks,
Who keeps the beekeepers?
What’s happening with the audio gaps?
Thankyou Chris for such quick work to fix the episode.
Good episode
I dunno how they explain it in the movie, but when a hive wants to dethrone a queen a wad of workers ball around her and overheat her with vibrations. It's called Cuddle Death.
Finally a Chapo flub for all the Flub-heads out there!
Amber 🙌
Still a muted channel. Check 20m 55s
Heeeeeres Ronnie!
Wonder if the entire cast of the beekeeper not being from the states was a way of circumventing the SAG strike
I fucking love Amber.
i live in michigan - the state that is probably going to decide the election. i will vote for biden. better than the project 2025 republicans trying to end our democracy outright. will talking about morals and voting sounds like a dumb dumb. it isn’t and has never been about morals. duh. love the show though, and will too.
"Sounds like a dumb dumb" our fate is in the hands of first graders tackling their first writing assignment.
Will obviously doesn’t do many jigsaw puzzles if he thinks 1000 pieces is especially large
Glad that Amber has been back on lately.
You have a much greater chance of affecting what movie wins the Academy Award for Best Picture than who gets elected POTUS. You have a much greater chance of winning the Powerball jackpot than tilting the POTUS election one way or another.
Blue waffle ss will be in my head for a while
Movies r gay
Still got the muted audio on the Spotify upload
Caste would make for an excellent book review episode. sub pop history that seeks to connect nazi germany, american racism, and the indian caste system into one thing with a tinge of social darwinism thrown in for good measure (in one chapter she admiringly points to wolves and their natural ability to know who is the the alpha and who is the beta
i’ll die an amber defender
Amber.
the Will Statham voice is always a treat
Jeremy Statham
Mr. Wade was on fire this episode, and it’s always a pleasure when Ms. Frost finds her way back into the trap. Really, really fun episode. Thanks Chapo! Edit: Oh, and stochastic beekeepers around 51:15.
congrats on 800 episodes you freaks
The jigsaw puzzle story sounds a lot like the Laurel & Hardy film where the entire neighborhood gets hooked on solving a jigsaw puzzle: https://youtu.be/M_Ve2QdoDMw?si=f-cYYoQZrRYw2h-M
"But you don't understand sir, that's Peter Cucumber the big oil magnate!" "I don't care if he's Mr. Dill Pickle, he's going to be searched." All cops really are bastards.
[deep pause] You know what they say? You gotta -bee- yourself!
Blue Waffle SS is so funny lmao
Happy 800
you're saying the desantis campaign isn't re-enacting the scene from Patton where the nazis are burning all their paperwork "every time someone tried to tell him to stop doing the puzzle he shouted NEVER BACK DOWN"
A M B E R M B E R
Bees have a spiritual connection, no life without bees. Look at Jupiter ascending LOL
I AM BRINGING THE PUZZLE TO IQUITOS
Damn Lee Harvey was a beekeeper this whole time
Please get me out of this libertarian hellhole state
Now the entire anti-Trump vote is behind Nikki Haley, and she’s still going to eat shit.
a bunch of Dems are gonna show up to vote for her in New Hampshire tonight and it won't matter at all lol
Wait, did Amber say boyfriend? I thought her and Matt were married with a kid
Matt is married to a different Amber whose last name is Rollo lol
Cormac McCarthy paraphrasing! Way to go Chris.
Chris occasionally sounds like he’s been watching old Matt film, trying to match his vocal cadence and style
Given that he co-hosted and probably edited all of Hell of Presidents and Hell on Earth you can’t begrudge the man a little Matt mindset. It’s probably unintentional
Jason Statham go on Chapo
From Chandler, AZ and didn't vote for Biden in 2020 as well. I feel the same about that decision as Will
Amber's back! Wahoooooo!
Amber's back, finally!
RETURNING CHAMPION AMBER 👏 A👏LEE 👏 FROST 👏💪
"The Beequel" was sitting right there for the second Beekeeper film. Do better guys.
What os this Ark Survival Evolved episode icon? I'm into it
Amber stop interrupting with banal observations challenge
Amber is a treasure you bitch
He used to fuck the President
Origin is straight up trash, hyped for the inevitable episode. Amongst other things, a scene of the shooting of Trayvon Martin foregrounded with a gigantic skittles wrapper.
Been a patron for going on 8 years, not sure if I ever commented before, but I just wanna say from the bottom of my heart that I love amber so much. Her voice and evil humor and brilliance and quick simple wit has been sorely missed for so long, and it’s just real friggen nice to have her back. My winter depression demands I only read shit like The Hobbit and Dune sequels atm, but can’t wait to snap out of it so I can crack into her new book. Long live Amber.
You know chapo and its fans like to rip on reddit, but so many of these comments, and yours is a prime example, are reddit tier cringe.
The puzzle does look nice
I have a theory that Amber was conceived the very INSTANT that John Hinckley Jr. shot that Reagan guy.
My friend has a theory that the biological father of Jodie Foster's kids is actually JHJ since his intention was to assassinate Reagan in order to impress her and, even though it was a bit traumatizing for her at time, with the benefit of hindsight it was actually a pretty cool thing to do.
Beekeeper was awesome. I loved that Statham punched thru every Kevlar vest imaginable. Also the goofy New Zealander mercenary was so over the top loved him
This episode is what it sounds like if Will was the most immature member of Chapo
Hilarious. Amber is always welcome ❤️
Pretty sinister way to get back to paying for the slop, but I guess I shouldn’t have put it past you. Still censoring (deliberately?) Amber’s best bits on Spotify and I am an Amber white knight after all. Here’s your $4.70, don’t spend it all in one place, you cretins.
Great episode, loving Amber's return, but miss Matt. Beekeeper was so damn fun. The cowboy bebop movie is also playing. Don't miss seeing it on the big screen
love having amber back
such a huge fan of amber being on the show more nowadays, she’s hilarious
Rob has bitch tits
Ep 800 bringing the exotic Will/Amber/Chris permutation and it really delivers.
This sounds totally different on Spotify.
How bout them Lions?
Wishing it was Pack v Lions next week.. but now I'm rootin for you guys to the end! 🦁
Beekeeper 2: Candyman v Keeper
Critters v.s Ghoulies vs. Beekeepers
Would have been a happy hog either way but appreciate the effort in the slop
Chris spitting this ep
Loved this episode, Amber is the best.
Chris is the GOAT
damn this amber lady is funny, she should be on the show full time
Bet you five dollars Sean mcelwee makes that puzzle his new Christmas tradition
Biden should take Trump's argument that the president has complete immunity and assassinate him
I mean yea. Every Democrat is a pussy though. You could literally just delete your political rivals. Would not even have to hide it like the Clintons.
when DeSantis Nazis say "1488," they mean 14 Words + Hungwy! Hungwy!
We need the next episode to cover the Tim Scott engagement pls
So true about with Meatball Ron leaving, there is no more fun left in this election. Remember when Ron first talked about running and we all were like Oh hell, this is gonna be GREAT. Trump is going to manhandle him and destroy him in the debates and rip him to shreds on social media but no. We couldn’t even get that because dumbass Ron never got close enough to Trump to threaten him enough to even debate him and he went pretty lightly on him because Ron was no threat. Very disappointing.
A true loser 😞
Oh my god Blue Waffle SS. Haaaaaa
im glad someone else noticed that too
Wow how bout a big Little Saint James round of applause for Chris.
❤️❤️❤️
I would listen to chapo if it was coming out of the toilet from Trainspotting. No matter how fucked up the audio got, eventually I would climb in. Fight me you disgusting Audiophilic freaks.
Happy 800 fellas
Took my dumbass 20 minutes while listening at the gym to realize Amber's audio stopped working
Sweet I thought I was loosing my mind lol
The version on Spotify says it came out in 2023
The LeBron of podcasting saves the day again
Treat machine fixed
Rest in piss Meatball Ron
“Ron!” in “Jeb!” font
Will's point about bragging... 💯
Said this on the other post, but I was really hoping you guys would do The Beekeeper! When we saw it I whispered to my wife “this is the most Chapo movie ever” at one point.
Rob cucked by Trump again.
Chris always delivers. That's why I'm lucky to call him a very good real life friend. We always have a great time hanging out. Best friends, really.
Mike Judge never makes these kinds of mistakes
Missing Matt on this occasion, his Meatball Ron takes are always great
During the long silences on the 1st upload, I tried to conjure up Matt responses in my head.
"We'll fix it in post"
They're silencing our girl for speaking the truth about the Kincaid Industrial Complex
Great because I ❤️ amber
I remember back in the day when they just didn't fix the fucked audio
Sorry for the track muting issues in the original post. Absolutely bizarre error in Audition where it randomly leveled down like 40% of the clips in the episode. I swear this has never happened to me before, baby.
mistakes happen! thanks for correcting it so quickly
First
Chris ftw w the quick fix
Chris is so awesome.