796 - Tunnel Kings (1/9/24)
We had some other news items to discuss, but the bulk of this episode is taken up with one piece of breaking news: Did you know that there's a tunnel under Eastern Pkwy? Yes we’re discussing the ridiculous story out of Brooklyn about a group of Chabad-Lubavitch members attempting to dig a secret and unlicensed tunnel under the streets of Crown Heights. We also take a look at Bill Ackman facing some blowback against his wife in his crusade against “academic plagiarism”. Alone, you come India.
Buy Amber’s book: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250269621/dirtbag
Comments (163)
All timer
this was my favorite moment
wow what a call by Molly on the Taylor Swift Travis Kelce marriage
Nice to see Amber back.
Rachel Sennott is Italian! She can't keep getting away with it!
"I remember this form the message boards like ten years ago" I often forget Amber is as much a poster as Matt and Felix
The “Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)” drop killed me
Synagogue #1: Tunnels
It occurs to me that Hasidic Jews are Kosher Mormons. Or you could say that Mormons are kind of Hasidic Protestants. No, Mormons are Hasidic Bigamists, there I figured it out.
Chris rufo of all people whining about going after the wives and kids
Bring Amber back more, she fills a Matt-sized hole in my heart :) <3
Did Felix do narrate the last episode of Fighting in the Age of Loneliness? On Secret Base.
He did!!
What was the song at the end?
Arcade Fire, song is Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
Great to hear Amber on the mic again. I miss her being on the show.
shes been on every episode, just hasn't said anything
Chris that Arcade Fire needle drop was extremely funny
I never realize how much I've missed Amber until she comes back and does an episode every 6-12 months
20:30. Felix mispronounces a word that no one has ever mispronounced in that way. Every episode haha
Is it schizofraynia?
I’ve been having a hard time in my personal life, thank you for the laughs guys. Blessings to all
just keep tunneling
Haha worth the wait funniest episode in a long time
Sending a unit of solar power salesmen into the tunnel to clear it out.
Amber
you a god damn liberal miss swift, you dont know shit cause you never had heterosexual sex before
Anyone have any perspective on why the Chabad guys in L.A. don’t seem quite as insane as the ones in NYC? Or at least they don’t do as many insane things. Lack of critical mass?
Amber please stay
hate the tunnel not the delvers
How is Bill Ackman the Phoebe Bridgers of finance?
White hair, annoying.
Neri Oxman's "Vespers" death mask sculptures are p. sick though
One of the wildest guys I ever knew was ex Hasidic. He was an annoying atheist, played poker professionally, was on a reality show, had a guest role on High Maintenance, did stand up, was a grifter in many ways, and now is a bartender. He wanted to start a podcast w me, but thankfully his followthrough sucked. So yes the tunnel boys track.
Very cool to see another group of Americans have visible mental breakdowns/schizophrenic episodes but instead of sectioning them in mental hospitals we have to pretend this is, somehow, religious. Jfc lol
i dunno, they seem to be welk integrated into a community. maybe instead of transferring mental institutions from religious to government hands, we should just enroll the mentally ill in Opus Dei or the Freemasons
Gangsta!
Sequel ep guesting Tunnel Girl when
The meek shall inherit the earth... but not its tunnels!
The arcade fire tunnels song 😂 this is funny!
I’m pretty disappointed with chapo actually. This was emergency pod level news event, deserving brace belden calling in on a tin can from an undisclosed location
Brace was busy defending the tunnels
“These jews haven’t had a history of labor for a hundred years?”
Landlords 👏 are 👏 workers 👏
Lmao ackman started posting again
Schlemiel Team Six.
Amber is the best
Will finished early in the Dick Marathon. Was too shy to say hi but he was one of the better readers. Best wishes.
Haters are the waiters in the tunnels of success.
That monologue from that retelling of Twilight sounds like something a minor villain from JJBA would do
Important question: has Will gotten in touch with Tony Millionaire? He owes you a book.
We ate lobster and chowder at The Black Whale in the Norway maelstrom.
I spent the last week with my octogenarian grandparents. That generation is so fucked in the head, I almost wish the Cuban missile crisis was an actual catastrophe. You heard it folks, I became insanely close to thinking a mad max situation would have been preferable what we got instead.
But then I quickly changed my mind when I realized I was a blessed Chapo sub with a ham sandwich in my lap. Love you all!
AMBER’S BACK! Haters shove it!!!
Is Adams the angel in the Genesys conception situation?
Bill ackman’s wife tweets remind me of Timothy Morton
Fun fact: I have a friend who escaped Chabad and she said the room where they had that little tunnel riot smells like an old skating rink
also Bugs Bunny never fucked with Porky. Bugs goes after Elmer, pint-sized gangsters, witches, Abominable Snowmen, opera singers, and Daffy. I can't really remember Bugs and Porky appearing in the same short. The only exception I can think of is when Bugs serves the stinger in PORKY PIG'S FEAT. (That's the one where Porky and Daffy are trying to escape the Broken Arms Hotel to avoid paying their bill.)
❤️AMBER❤️
Did Amber just say "Ackman" sounds like the "male superhero version of Cathy?" That was fucking amazing.
“Well, there goes my mind”
By the way, there is such a thing as countable infinity.
Amber episodes are always great. Idk why she's not on more often.
Brilliant episode. I’ll probably listen 10x.
❤️ that Amber is back
I wonder if Amber knows my uncle? I’m pretty sure he’s a member of the Melville Society and he wrote a Marxist thesis on Melville for his PhD.
Chris playing elder millennials like a fiddle with that arcade fire drop
Love it ♥️ Long time listener and recent subscriber here. Im sorry to ask; but is Matt likely to come back? Is he really brain damaged :( Apologies if this is insensitive and I've missed a health update or something. Love from London England
@chapo
Why did they dig the tunnel? I have vivid memories of imagining digging a tunnel to get OUT of mass during mass as a child. Was it an escape attempt? “No mum, you saw me go to services didn’t you” and then sneak out the back?
YouTuber Casey Neistat once made a video about installing his own U-shaped bike rack outside his building - I don't remember what part of Manhattan he was in at the time but it was the kind of neighborhood where you could throw on a day-glo vest and a hard hat and you'd be invisible. Anyway nobody bothers him during the install, but within a day the city came down on him with threats of eviction and whatnot and he had to take it out. No tunnels tho
he shoulda hidden it under something, like how the escape grate was behind a newspaper stand
Chabad has started their transition to become ChaCHUD.
I’ve been listening to Amber’s book. It’s really good. I was psyched to hear her back on the Show. Amber-content FTW!
Kid Rock is gay and that's final.
I said it before and I'll say it again, Amber is the only person who can match Matt's specific energy and niche on the show. The fact that they both have the same opinions on Taylor Swift proves it.
TSwift forever in the ecoterrorist era
Tunnels needle drop is 🤌
top tier chapo ep
I know they've had a lot of difficulty finding a good direction to go with the property for years now, but I have to say this TMNT reboot has me concerned
I love Chris chiming in with things that Matt *might* say lmao
What’s better for the author, order from the link or find a local bookstore? Been a minute since I uh, done gotten a book
I think it's supposed to be best to call the local bookstore, ask them whether they have it in stock and, if they don't, ask them whether they can order it.
Neri Oxman has an episode of the Netflix series Abstract where she talks about growing building materials or some shit and lies about swimming Walden Pond every morning.
new bedford street heat
Laughed out loud at the Arcade Fire reference
RXK Nephew ✊🏽
Funniest episode in a while, inshallah
Fuckin' A! Amber's back! Love the book, y'all should check it out.
Chris, transitioning with Arcade Fire's Neighborhood #1 was an excellent joke. Appreciate you
Oh hell yeah
I love Katy Perry because of her fearless war against the Catholic Church
As a NYC Jew I demand access to the tunnels
Didn’t realize this earlier but amber is chapo’s finance correspondent
Hamas jealousy incorporated!
nope
Did no one else think of these Jewish seminary students (or whatever this is) re-enacting Porky's?
pork is forbidden bro
Always happy to hear more Amber.
Oh. My. God.
A real feel good ep. Lord knows we needed it, thanks gang
Chabad lore might be the best lore. I LIVED A FEW BLOCKS FROM CHABAD 770. I NEED TO KNOW MORE
Amber's Looney Toons comment though. It hurts to laugh dammit
what?
Great ep, always oinking and squealing when amber is back
More Amber!
Podcasters saying Jewish terms correctly challenge - impossible
the guy who heard the voices in his floor works for fox news 😂 https://x.com/richardstrocher/status/1744597287568019805?s=46
he's not cool but i can relate to feeling insane
TONY MILLIONAIRE WAS THERE? fuck! of all the chapo live events this moby dick read is the only one im pissed i couldn't get to. tony millionaire is a legend.
Will read the chapter where Stubb declares he’s “gay,” singing Fa La Lirra Skirra 🎶
Forget it, Jake. It’s Shivatown
I'm so happy to hear Amber on the show more often!
amber honestly brings a little acid and a little bite into the mix that always makes me happy
It was a Kosher Gooning Cave.
every time I see that word now, I think of it in Norman Finkelstein's voice
It’s a shame that right wingers turned the tunnel story anti semitic like 2 hours after it got hot on Twitter
Whenever some guy who would otherwise never talk about politics publicly goes hard for Israel there is ALWAYS an Israeli wife
AMBER!! 🔥🔥
A Tunnel Grows in Brooklyn by Chaim Potok
more amber on the pod!!
I maintain that brace is the only acceptable guest to discuss these tunnels with
But Patton Oswalt is an actual mole person
Can’t wait to burrow into this episode
There’s a great YouTube account that collects all the subliminal lesbian messaging of Gillian Anderson.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say: oink
love diggin 'ole
Lady Chatterjee's Lover
Im unfortunately well versed in Gaylor lore and most of it is an insane stretching exercise but there are a few solid examples that make it a compelling conspiracy. Still it should stay on reddit and tumblr
OK love time but alone you come India
Honestly shocked at this short sighted support of people digging holes. If this continues and different communities start digging holes, we will see world war one style sapper combat as different holes and tunnels meet. I beg you to reconsider your position on the hole debate.
This episode is an instant classic.
“It’s me, Felix, and Amb—“ *stabs STOP button*
More tunnels for the rest of us
The Hasidic Jews are out of control. They keep their children from getting a real education and game the system for government benefits while at the same time shutting out the rest of their neighbors, even employing illegal patrols harassing goyim.
And also reject. Like man, I’m wearing the red hat, but what the hell are you doing? Trying to end the world?
Well there are some random secret tunnels in Downtown Dalla, but they were just built part of a random walkway mall thing that got abandoned. And not built by young cultists.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7glbleb2L0c&pp=ygUTdHVubmVsIHdhcmZhcmUgc29uZw%3D%3D
Music recommendation given what's happening in Gaza and NYC: Tunnle Warfare (Chinese 60s classic)
whos idea was it to play tunnels on an episode about tunnels???
so happy to hear more Amber. i just finished the Dirtbag audiobook today, cried and giggled all the way through. Love to all gray wolves 🐺
I worked at Enterprise at two Brooklyn locations nearly 20 years ago and I can still recite the Chabad discount code as if it were my childhood phone number.
I bet there's still one Chabad wizard down there engaged in an epic battle with the Balrog of Crown Heights.
The Balrog is the only native speaker of the dialect Lin Manuel Miranda appropriated for Washington Heights (2021). Al Pacino respectfully borrowed his accent in Carlito's Way from a different Balrog.
Really hoping Amber comes back full time.
theyll lose so much money, they wont do that
slop!
What can I say, it was an amazing tunnel
Where is cum town when you need it
Tunnel gang tunnel gang tunnel gang
TUNNEL GANG
I’m gonna dig this episode
I have some good puns about shovels. But I don't think you can handle them.
Don’t mess with the Tunnel Snakes!
Tunnel Snakes rule !
im man enough to admit i didnt know about the tunnel. im not gonna lie and pretend i did. that's not what i'm about
I appreciate your integrity sir
SECRET TUNNEL!
Through the mountain?
LETS GO TUNNEL TIME
POUNCED on this one
Sweet tunnel episode