734 - I Feel Like White Gladis (5/23/23)

NO WAY YOU REALLY DID THIS READING SERIES ❤️❤️❤️ chapo is the best show on the planet

"Some lib visited by the ghost of hard work" Felix . Im dying lol

Also should add that there have been wild attacks on humans by orcas, the one I remember was a bite on a surfboarder. Although you're right in that I'm unaware of fatalities from Orcas in the wild

Clear your throat Felix

10/10 azealia banks reference

The DeSantis diner interaction feels like you're mashing the "talk" button on an NPC and he's just cycling through his handful of prerecorded lines lol

Just noticed that Chasten Buttigieg has a book out for young adults--maybe fodder for the next reading series?

Late listener FYI: Felix says alien

Will's impression of a chad vs soyjak meme made my day, thanks boys

top tier Felix ep

Really good ep.

pete buttigieg is a sentient harvard admissions essay

we NEED to call out White Gladys for adventurism and pursuing personal vendettas instead of a true liberatory project; she will pull up the waterslide after her as soon as she has sunk enough boats and mean cetacean family wealth will still stand at $0.00000006 (a bowhead whale swallowed my wallet)

New england psychos like to split wood. Especially from Maine and new Hampshire. We should make them slaves

Felix just learned the use of “boob” as an insult

Neoliberalism is when your transportation secretary reads a BK commercial que card, and the more Ford 'Built Tough, But Not in a Toxic Way' F-350E (now with less coltan) you talk about to signalboost domestic manufacturing the more neoliberal it is. It is wild that Pete can't stop the trains from crashing because that's too hard, he better stick to misquoting Livy to GM board members trying to kick the can of energy apocalypse down the road; because the American transportation network is a nightmare and probably unfixable by the biggest of brains because the problem is cultural. Can't build or number crunch your way out of this, Pete, no amount of technology is going to fix it.

I think Felix is right about SCOTUS, considering they’re allowing California’s pork regulation to go through. Also, my dad still uses wood because he’s too cheap to pay the heating bill in the winter, so he chops a lot of wood Edit: Well, SCOTUS just limited the Clean Water Rule, so who knows, really

I stan White Gladis

2 different MST3K references in one ep

You guys are way behind, I've been running drugs and guns for the Orca revolutionary front for years.

"That's great advice if you're a werewolf running for president" Felix, you have my favorite kind of humor, thank you

Splitting wood is pretty fun actually. Nice and rhythmic. makes you feel powerful

The soundtrack to ORCA is incredible (heard a snippet in this)

Did Felix quote a lyric from 212?

I believe it's pronounced Lt. Broccoli

when election season hits Chapo's Trap House, it feels like one of my animes is entering the Tournament Arc

Please consider including time stamps so I can skip the interminable, lame animal riffs every ep.

felix in top form today

Okay, hear me out. What if Pete, the son of renowned Gramsci scholar Joseph Buttigieg, is a Manchurian Candidate (Gramsciurian Candidate, if you will) shrewdly trained by his father to project the perfect neoliberal climber persona? Everything he says is so perfectly coded to activate the MK Ultra synapses of the liberal mind - it would be the perfect crime. With his ties to the intelligence and military community, Comrade Peter could implement a coup d’etat upon a successful presidential campaign, consolidating the powers of state and military under his iron fist. Long Live the Gramsciurian Candidate ✊🏼

Post politics DeSantis is a shoo-in for the carving station at Old Country Buffet.

Swiss Will I Am lol

Old and busted : Grill Pilled :: The New Hotness : Krill Pilled

I respect you Matt, primarily for your mindful steadfastness during COVID. But dude you need to eat some fucking crow for consistently being wrong about the capabilities of the dipshit goon right. From Jan 6, to Trump, to the Budweiser Mulvaney fiasco which is actually a marked cultural shift in identity politics, and today the debt ceiling fiasco- they want money dude and will destroy America for all the pork they can bully the left into- the right is profoundly more capable of anything it wants than the left (gutting America via consolidation of legislative power legitimately grass roots up)which he dismisses all of them as a bunch of noise. For a guy who spends most of his time with his head up the ass of 16th century German Protestants AND FUCKING GREW UP WITH WITH THE WORKING CLASS RIGHT GOONS HE REGULARLY DISMISSES, dude he knows nothing about them. STFU already.

The answer to the debt ceiling is that anything democrats did would be doing a Thing™️ and we can’t do Things™️ anymore because it’s “the end of history.” They have became AIs themselves and their training data is just all US politics from 1946 to 1991. Things™️ happened back before history ended but now that it’s over we can only act in ways that our predecessors have already acted

It would be all too fitting for Orcas to take over after us. They are really the humans of the water. Just being insanely intelligent while also being as cruel and ridiculous as possible.

Finally a movie I know and love in the thumbnail

can't believe someone else remembers johnny mnemonic

Mayo Pete is talking about the spiritual nature of travel, I want to be able to afford groceries and also have savings in case of an emergency

Ailien

Killer whales attacked the initial survivors of the whaleship Essex after a sperm Whale sunk their ship.

anyone know what the song at the end is? it sounds familiar, but I can't quite place it

Anyone else notice how both Buttigieg and the interviewer seem to think neoliberalism just means “new liberalism”?

Also I hereby welcome the Orcas as liberators.

I use ChatGPT a lot. There is no way you can convince me that Andrew Yang’s list article was 1000% no doubt in my mind just a lazy edit of a raw ChatGPT response. It has to be.

Overdrawn at the memory bank. Ha ha ha. That is funny.

Well jostle the right boat in the iberian and a bunch of global southerners might just fall out

can we get a boob count

Is Pete just advertising for Burger King and Ford? The whales really can't squish us fast enough. "It feels good to be driving a vehicle with a lot of power"? He is dumber than the smartest whale and everyone that ever liked him as a candidate is dumber than the dumbest whale, certainly dumber than the average orca. It feels good...to be driving a vehicle with a lot of power.... When stars want to feel the palpable vastness of the void they look into the eyes of Mayor! Pete. Imagine this fucker was your kid and not realizing they were a doppleganger that needed to be put in an oven. I like milk. It feels good to drink a beverage which is cold.

The Foward Party should be based on Wisconsin supremacist beliefs

Whatever you do during the whale summit, do not say ‘spearheading’

In 2020, Mayor Pete was obviously cribbing from Obama and had been working on his Obama impersonation for at least a decade. This profile sounds like a checklist labeled "Totally Normal and Relatable Presidential Candidate: Hobbies and Consumer Habits". Likes fast food (reference Bill Clinton and Trump); plays instrument (reference Bill Clinton and Mike Huckabee); likes exercise (reference Bill Clinton and George W. Bush); likes car (reference Joe Biden); likes religion (reference all of them). I wonder if Liz Smith and Mayor Pete prepared for this interview with a ChatGPT brainstorm session.

Did Felix get laid?

Well folks, we're stuck on dry land now.

Pete Banaligieg

great episode 👏

There’s a possibility that White Gladis is Will’s biological mother. Run back to the wild, my friend. Live in power.

fun fact the ivy league schools have woodsman’s teams where they see which idiot can saw or hack a log faster it’s very funny to watch them nerds

we 👏 love 👏 Sif 👏 in 👏 this 👏house 👏

Go Orcas!

i love splitting wood

Great ep! Good energy!

Joined the Forward Party after listening to this

The only thing a revolutionary whale can be sure of is that they are a doomed whale

literally the plot of Orca will and hess need to review the film in honor of this event

No one who sounds like desantis will ever be president change my mind

Matt = bass Drums = Felix Will on the guitar.

The funniest thing about Pete’s hard hat appearance was that you could see in his face that he knew how it would play and was so mad about that.

Biden’s Catholicism engorged af

Felix w the Azealia Banks drop

More Quiznos please

She give me brain in the jetblue brain lounge

Boys came back STRONG

The tragedy of Earth is that mankind has been a few thousand years ahead of our cetacean cousins. If only we had developed in parallel, we could have Mass Effect technology, as Felix said. Sad.

Nice, Cameron didn’t typecast Orcas as his killer whale.

Love that HoE series has equipped Matt with a ready arsenal of insults from antiquity, like mountebank. Let’s get those back into circulation.

Out: Bernie bros In: Orca oafs RIP Andy Rourke

15th Century Portugal: Initiates Age of Discovery for Europe, and a globe-spanning empire in the Americas, Africa and Asia. 20th Century Portugal: Loses colonial empire. 21st Century Portugal: Get's wrecked by marine life.

Still ain't fixing the mics, huh. Just letting the audio clip with every word out of their mouths. That's fine. I don't need to not want to kill myself.

Lawwwdy, Miss Gladys White done got the Holy Spirit up in uh

Decreccio!!!

I know he didn't mean it this way but I think "splitting wood" is a good term for rough gay sex

it’s beginning to feel a lot like Chapo season. let’s go.

A mainline Chapo episode? You betcha.

The soulsborne references never fail to activate my Aspergers

Pete is an ai based upon every third way candidate ever

mr. buttigieg, your campaign has the momentum of a runaway freight train. why are you so popular?

There was a documentary that came out about 20 years ago, and the subject was orcas along the southern coast of Australia and how they had a collaborative working relationship with whalers. The orcas would herd sperm whales toward the whaling boats, making them easier to kill. In exchange, ship captains would take the internal organs from their kill, and give them to the orcas. The orcas would show up regularly at a certain pier, where the whalers were processing sperm whales. Of course the crews knew to throw the whale organs to the orcas. Both parties were happy with the collaboration. Then one night a leader of the whaling industry made a business decision that stopped all of that: he shot and killed an orca that had come up to the pier to collect its wages. After that act of betrayal and murder, orcas avoided humans and stopped helping with the whale hunts.

Was that Ron’s first time talking to another human? jfc

Enough with the DEBT ceiling, our leaders should be focused on the WET ceiling. Because Orcas live in the water folks.

felix said self-of-steam like jesse ferrar does

Orca Catholic Cemetery Monthly?

Mayo Pete has to be fucking with Heffernan. I don’t know how anyone can bullshit someone so pretentiously without bursting into laughter. I take it all back. Mayo Pete rules. He’s Andy Kaufman.

It's not Mooses it's Moosen. They live in the woodsen.

Hmm who would ally with the Orcas?... 🌴🐘🌴🐘🌴

The Pete piece is a good trial balloon to see the power of propaganda- I.e. how much people believe shit they just read something

Chasten: yes, Virginia gave Pete top

Felix your Azealia bar did NOT land flat with me jsyk

A great "the animals are revolting" movie is Pom Poko from the great Miyazaki, which features raccoons straight up murdering construction workers.

The orcas heard Andre Nickatina's Killa Whale and went berserker mode

🤣 born to krill

the POD'S POD

3 yachts. I’m on team orca.

I feel like black dirk

Releasing this episode late is very big dicked and straight, the opposite of what this audience wants

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I read an article about orca pods off the Iberian peninsula and recently they attacked a yacht. So at this point sea life is doing more than any developed country to combat decadent gross inequality.

Fuck yes, they brought back Animal News. I love Animal News.

we love our slop don't we folks

but what about the SILO?

Sooie! Rise and shine piggies!