712 - Everything Mystical feat. Brandon Wardell & Jamel Johnson (3/6/23)

If I had to guess, I'd wager the dating fear of podcasters is probably related to a lot of men being inspired to start one because of Joe Rogan.

Im trying to live the mindset of that “hand made sandwiches” joke, Jamel has my vote for the fourth chapo, you guys need some juice. Also Felix is turning into the caterpillar from Alice in wonderland at a rapid pace, my thoughts and prayers.

As someone who’s dated more podcast guys than I care to admit, totally true that the quality/popularity of the pod correlates with the quality of the guy. The best one was written up in the failing NYT.

Brandon is my favorite half Japanese girl

They're gonna make interracial podcasting illegal in Tennessee.

When I’m in a whiny autistic dork competition and my opponent is a Felix Drug Truther 😨

my favorite part of the podcast is when the weirdos complain about every guest and every episode without a guest and every episode with felix and every episode without felix and

On the next episode, could Will and Felix please explain the Vanderpump Rules Scandal to Matt. I would enjoy that.

that was a pretty decent episode, not their best but better than a couple they've posted lately. Time to look at the comment section, I'm sure everyone's being normal!

A lot of deep state actors here trying to portray this episode as some affront to their hard earned 5 dollars a month. Its such a fine/forgettable-at-worst riff episode i feel like there was some organized gaslighting in these comments

i’ve figured it out. wardell only sucks for people who are stuck constantly re-litigating decades old drama from their high school lunch table because he has late 2000’s JV fuccboi vibes. he’s fine guys

Finished listening and y’all are freaks. It’s a bottom tier ep perhaps, but not remarkably so. Wardell starts off on really obnoxious footing with the Girl God dig, but he’s fine after that and his sidekick isn’t comparatively a comedic genius like most of you are pretending. Felix sounds slow from painkillers or perhaps a permanent head injury, but again it’s not THAT big a deal.

The only explanation for Brandon showing up in the chapo universe is that he owns some portion of your enterprise and you’re contractually obligated to have him on

Don’t care for Brandon.

I don’t know, about this one

As a child I was building a gingerbread house on a styrofoam plate with many other children at a local community center after school. The coordinator said, “Now be good; it’s almost Christmas and there are elves in the trees watching.” From that point I got paranoid and could no longer concentrate on my house. Instead, my eyes darted from window to window, trying to get a glimpse of the horrible creatures watching me. So when the President of Mexico tells me elves are real I start freaking out.

not.. good

This is the most unhinged place on the internet

Jesus, I didn’t think this show would get so bad. You can hear Matt cringe every time felix opens his arrogant , anaesthetised mouth. (You’ve really pole-vaulted a shark when you start boasting about your sub numbers and dissing other podcasts for not being financially successful etc. it’s embarrassing.)Fuck paying for this shit. Just going to pirate now when matt and Chris do a history series. They’re great. Will used to do good interviews, Steven Donziger etc. What happened? Money and too much comfort turn people into narcissistic liberal wankers. I’ll subscribe again if they sack Felix. He should have his own pod called ‘I, I, like, I, um , based, yeah, pussy, prescription drugs, based.’

Brandon is so fucking annoying but I liked Jamel so

skill gap between these guests is crazy

Wardell’s voice is a compelling argument for making weed illegal again

High Felix is not as funny

Never listened to the first Wardell episode, but it couldn't have been any worse than that improv episode you guys did. This was a great episode all-around and Wardell was genuinely funny. I don't know about him or Johnson, but I always assume the people you have on the show that I don't know are either Twitter friends of yours or sportsball peoples.

Hi Mr. Trap House, I hate the show, here's $5 so I can have twice as much of it pls. Also the guy who always has a nasal voice? His voice sounds nasal, so I think he's addicted to pills. Can I talk to the manager?

My long narrow dicked brethren, we must not stand for this slander.

I thoroughly enjoyed the Girl God episode.

Felix hitting the lean hard

Felix being low energy and getting immediately diagnosed as a drug addict in the comments is like when guys see a woman without makeup and assume she is dying

I stand with Felix this allergy season by also getting torn up on benadryl and NyQuil

Along with the 30000 progressive pro wrestling podcasts, aren't there are just as many women doing true crime podcasts?

Laughed harder than in long time - though did get inspired to try to get more f'ed up than Felix sounded (just on beers, I'm Midwestern).

6:57 "Donteks"? You mean Donetsk right?

Truly none of my business or whatever, but I really hope Felix is okay :/

bring jamel back for more eps funniest mic hands down

The Tom Meyers-ish guy is giving me Rob Dierdek vibes 🫠

Brandon’s mentioned before on Cumtown that he reads comments, so just to make sure you know- your laugh sucks

This mf said Argust

Thank you, Felix, for listening to my pro wrestling podcast

another tough brandon episode. great work

Everybody who seen the elf say "yea"!

Brandon and Felix sound like they were dosed on gabapentin but otherwise great ep. Jamel is hilarious.

<p style="color: #008600;">Oh, it was fun and just great. Was glad to listen to Brandon Wardell and Jamel Johnson today</p>

“Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me”-ass episode

I feel like the "don't date podcasters" thing is more true of the alpha male podcasters. I'd be okay dating someone with a podcast in general, but I'm drawing the line at anyone who unironically uses the phrase "High value female". Then again, I'm a woman in her 30s, so I'm pretty sure I don't register as human to them anyway

I came in to listen to the podcast one morning. Felix sounded like he had his head half in the toilet; his mic was in the toilet water. Disgusting.

Brandon sounds like a pre pubescent Adam Freidland on cocaine.

I genuinely think brandon Wardell was clipped in the fontanelle by a donkeys hoof. Great episode

30 year old wardell. christ

A raging misogynist, a homeless man, and a pedophile walk into a bar. The bartender takes one look and says, "Hey fellas. What's the name of your podcast?"

Will for the love of God just identify the words you’re going to have trouble with before you make an ep. These are borderline rickyisms at this point.

This sucked, but it was still marginally better than Girl God

Women who see podcasting as a red flag in a relationship when the topic of work is brought up during dates or dating was a trip lol. I don't like to talk about work, even to commiserate. Talking about work on a date says to me this woman is boring AF and I want to end the conversation, and probably the relationship, as quickly as possible. I don't care what she does to survive in capitalism either. I'll listen to work drama and stuff from work that is entertaining like goofy ass coworkers or how badly they'd like to see their bosses suffer. We're all working at the racism and dick sucking factories, let's talk about stuff we do enjoy, like the funny show we just saw or the latest Stellaris DLC. Work sucks and people who base a relationship on what their prospective partner does for work also suck. End of rant. Love your show Chapo.

That girl god episode was truly terrible

...they're turning your brain into mush...

Just watched the video of Emhoff "protecting Kamala" from an animal rights protestor. Bro was the last person to get to him and just tried to yank the mic out of his hand unsuccessfully https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VaJFKd62RQ&ab_channel=DailyMail

Still better than Girl God.

Poor Felix has done their Kamala impression too much and it's leaked into his normal speech patterns.

This Wardell guy stinks.. Jamal makes up for it.

Lot of failed open mic’ers in the comments, projecting their frustration at the career they never had on Wardell.

This has to be the most bipolar podcast community ever, just last week everyone in the comments was saying “really good ep” now all you pigs are saying no one’s trying

Felix sounds more zonked than usual 😅

Kudos to Brandon for regaining his crown. By far the worst episode you have ever made.

Yikes

I can't stand Brandon Wardell. Not sure i'll make it more than 10 minutes into this one.

Send Felix down to the minors so he can find his fastball again

I love how obvious it is that none of the dry boys have ever engaged with a black man in real life.

Get Felix into rehab and off the pod. It’s just sad at this point. And not funny. And not worth paying for.

Jamel chapo episode to be black to

Yooooo I went to high school with Tyree Rush lmao

The boys getting defensive and pulling out bank statements… not a great look.

Podcaster has gotta be one of the biggest red flags lol

Less podcasters more plumbers

Sounds like some time in the Chapo Sober Living House might be in order

Did AmLo's elf wear boots? Faeries wear boots. You gotta believe me.

Why is Felix's mic at half the speed as everyone else?

critical support for felix, the riffs are good, they just need to get out the door 35% quicker

Argust

sounds like she dated Adam Friedland but he'd never work in an amazon warehouse

Argust

Brandon wardell is Adam friedland but without any of the insane sexy charisma

Damn, Felix isn't doing too well...

Wardell unbearable. Turned it off.

Brandon is so ridiculously unfunny. Jamel was very good though.

This is parasocial af but i remember amber telling a story about Brandon recording a podcast with Nick in the apartment they shared and Brandon blanked her until she reminded him that she also lived there and to be polite lmao. Anyway that sounds about right going by this ep

Rush hour menu music

Wardell is hard to take. I have Jack Wagner on again though.

the fact that brandon wardell is able to make a living as an entertainer and is involved with itysl makes me spiral

i don’t know what chapo is anymore

Wardell is what a fucking 14 year old thinks is funny, absolute trash

Please never bring Brandon on again.

Argust

I’ll never understand why you guys, or anybody, finds this little asswipe funny

Frist episode I can remember that I actually turned off and didn't feel like finishing.

Chapo seems to have lost its edge. Apart from Matt and Chris’s Hell on Earth, shows have been a bit boring lately. Will is preparing for a new job doing article reading articles for the CIA. Felix has descended from a mildly autistic funny man to a drugged out moron. Matt seems to be preparing to be the United States foremost public intellectual.

Felix seems rejuvenated after a week off! (only 3 "uh, umms" per riff)

Lauren Bobert’s stylist sounds like Vincent D’Onofrio’s character from men in black on opioids.

AH-loosh

Jamel!!!! Check out Airbuds as well, if you like podcasts that are theoretically about the NBA.

Brandon doesn't have to worry about his title. I'm 15 minutes in and this is absolutely the worst episode in Chapo history.

love jamel

JSOC 5 Star General Penis Injury reporting for duty

that article really buried the lede by being like (he's 35 and works at an amazon warehouse) HE HAS A PODCAST

They should put Dough Emhoff in a glass cube and parade him around

If you listen to the Daily Clout CEO clip while staring at the Mexican elf photo, it all makes sense.

Get well soon, Felix. Hope you are OK.

the deep state doesnt want you to see humans that aren't regular sized

Poor Felix. Get well soon man.

Hope Felix is okay

Sounds like Felix is Lauren Boebert’s designer

Joe is my long lost cousin

Jamel ♥️

at least we couldn't hear Felix bunny hopping in this one.

This mf Will said “Dontesk.” Gets 100k a month or something to read the news. Dontesk. Clown. And Felix’s obvious descent into drug abuse continues.

Total shit episode.

Is Felix doing opiates? If so good for him

G_d bless all of you I'm sorry all love

Love it of course

Comics Unleashed

Too many people on mic and nothing even funny and insightful for a full hour. Let Christman go off next episode so we can get some quality slop.

Unlistenable... Unsubscribed.... I'm gay

Wow, this was so fucking unfunny lmao.

Good Will ep

Genuinely concerned for Felix. Love the man.

Felix’s struggle to say the word “unless” at 33:45 was legendary

yeah Brandon kinda sucks, not very good,

funny episode but can Felix take approximately 50% less pills before recording, thanks in advance

Can we get Amber back on some time? I miss Amber

So every culture on earth has incredibly similar Little Person stories, but they're definitely fake. Like UFOs. Watch this space people, mischief maker disclosure is coming

how'd they fit Matt and Jamel in the same room. did they have to use the Stavros proof chamber professor X kept him in ?

Two questions: 1.) Is the Slo-mo drug from Dredd (2012) real? 2.) Is Felix on it?

ollawonna beis elchapo

Is there a Jamel Show

I love that these cranks sound all official with the “adverse events” that they discovered. The reporting database literally lets you report anything. It’s basically a means of letting people feel like they’re voice is being heard, when really it exists so no one has to listen to them anymore.

This was fucking terrible. Perfect.

I'm gay

Jamel is great

Region of don't ask?

Instead of this Wardell guy can we get someone funny like Adam Friedland?

You Fools! That's not an elf. It's a Morock!!!!!!!!!!! They're crawling out of the earth's crust via the limestone caves of the Yucatan. The end of days are upon us.

Jamel is so good

J. A. R. R. Tolkien

I like that the Daily Clout woman doesn't say "penis function," meaning whether or not it works, she says "penis functions," meaning it'll still work but do a whole different set of things

Brandon Wardell once again proving to be the worst guest Chapo has ever had on

I believe President López Obrador about the existence of duendes and other Magical Little Guys

Sorry, not into women. I like men.

Brandon "the gay pedophile" Wardell

You mad piece of shit ms. trapo.

All aboard gay public transport

Are Felix’s toes still fucked up? They looked pretty bad. Thoughts and prayers out for F-Dog 🙏🧎🛐

slop time

Chapotraphouse.

Yay