1069 - Vetterman’s Day (9/8/26)
This week on Chapo, Will and Felix go long on two reading series. First, we have a piece in the Jerusalem Post with a plan to finally win the war in Iran by drafting American debt slaves. Second, we have another John Fetterman exposé in the Wall Street Journal showing just how lazy, oafish, and entitled the man is, including him ghosting children's hospitals and complaining about police funerals.
Comments (174)
Why do you guys pay so much lip service to this guy? I mean seriously you talk about him once a month and dedicate entire episodes to him. He has less power than some mayors.
V by !5ghosts g g hugh
Author Israel K. Israelman
My new band name is Disabled Fettermans
Felix, stop spoiling Sopranos for me. I am a Gen Z woman. They didn’t make us watch this growing up. I am in season 2 😭😂
As someone with personal experience with opiate addiction, I actually liked them specifically because they let me enjoy doing things I couldn't enjoy do before. Like I'd take them and then practice piano or something. I'd never just zone out - that would feel like a waste, so I'd try to do as much as possible while I was feeling good. For me, opiates felt identical to "the way you feel after an amazing work-out on a sunny day" - despite fucking up my life, the feeling was undeniably a really good one (at least early on). Meanwhile weed just makes me want to sleep. Makes it hard to think straight combined with a feeling of physical comfort, and I just want to lay down and close my eyes on it. I chalk it up to a mix of "drugs affect different people differently" and the likelihood that my opiate use was an attempt to self-medicate ADD symptoms (due to the way opiates act on dopamine).
Felix's Fetterman voice is starting to sound like Chomsky
Können wir nicht am Tag normal ohne Stress und abends ist das ok ich finde es echt krass was du so machst es ist lustig mich zu verletzen OK und außerdem Chattest du gerade mit dir selbst
Ich bin kein idiot ich gehe ein anderen weg ohne doc ...
Egal bla bla 3 Tage
Echt jetzt warum nicht deutsch ? Ah Untertitel Deutsch keine Ahnung wie? Ich kann dir den prompt trainieren verstehst du wenigstens 3 Wörter bzw kannst du das alles speichern es sind 3 Wörter ist nicht einfach aber ich mach ein Screenshot ok
I screamed like a stabbed piglet when Felix said "great news, it runs on Windows 11!"
Can't find a Vetterman.... Can't find a Vettermannnnnnn
Not the Swedish air force slander! They have SAAB! They make cool delta winged stuff!
Critical support to Fetterman trying to not go to a cop's funeral
Happy Meal for guys who aren’t happy slaps
WHO DEY
Who voted for fetman raise your hand
American Footballistas 4 Chapo!
Can't find a Fetterman (Can't find a Fetterman), Can't find a Fetterman (Can't find a Fetter-ma-an)
Will’s fetterman impression is getting scary good
Shit, who gave fetterman water after midnight? Now he's changing into a republican.
oh my god let me feature on leftist barstool please
All I could imagine during the food poisoning section of the article was that scene from ADWD where Strong Belwas eats the poisoned locusts, but it’s John Fetterman instead
i can’t for the day fet is no longer relevant and i don’t have to hear you two talk about this guy for an hour plus. snooze fest
Chris should be a permanent or at least semi permanent 3rd Mic. He was so good in the Hell of Presidents series
The expansion team full of rapists immediately winning a championship lowkey almost happened exactly that way in the NHL with the Vegas Golden Knights
And an earlier expansion wave included a team inexplicably named the Predators.
As a European I call in sick to work 3-5 times a year for food poisoning.
Bailed at 1:40
They just keep Fetterman around and appoint him to committees in like a Dinner for Schmucks type thing
I was a really shitty student of french but my brain always translates “dinner for schmucks” (one of the worst movie titles ever) to the significantly more elegant “Le Dîner de Cons”
Got 30 of the smallest oxys after surgery once and had the best week of my life just surfing AutoTrader.com in bed
the funniest part is when there's a en epic post that goes like "I've been a Fetterman staffer for the past 12 years: here's how it's even worse than you think" okay dude what's going on, are you in debt peonage to him
Will you have on frequent Chapo Chat/Seeking Derangements guest/canceled “lecturer” (teacher) (as Nick Shirley described him) Matt Goldman for being fired for jokes?
Fetterman doesn’t want to work? He just did a video cameo at the Republican midterm convention. Feel stupid now???
John Fetterman inspired Burger King to make the Unhappy Meals
Fetterman is gonna pet someone to death like Lenny and they’re still gonna cover for him
Duncan Hunter actually blamed his son initially for the steam purchases expenses as “personal expense - to be paid back”. Two years later they found over $250,000 of misused campaign funds, some of which were later attributed towards plane tickets for the families pet rabbits.
As a matter of principal I don’t pay medical debt. In the words of Jake from Pendejo time “I’m sorry but you’ve been robbed.”
Ok but I think its actually rly cool he doesnt give a damn about dead cops lets give the big dumb fuck some credit here yall
Will is right Jets r up this year. Geno Smith’s a qb so nice we had to have him twice. (I’ve suffered for 30 years supporting this team)
Can only imagine what 'bad thing' Fetterman ate. An entire cow? Several villagers? Mill stone?
They stake a goat outside his office every day and he keeps eating the chain
Felix were you training at the blue basement with the DDS? how the fuck do you get 20 staph infections as a hobbyist grappler lmao
Felix we need the Deadly Premonition player’s club 13 hours
this mf said Vetterman
THREE TIMES
Left Wing Barstool is an unironic idea I’ve had for a decade and I genuinely think it’s the only hope left for this nation
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, CAN'T FIND A FETTERMAAAAAAAN
why are all the comments hidden what is happening around here
why has chapo censored me for using 'j ews' when I wasn't even disparaging them
48:45 Felix gets in his story about the Japanese and the protocols 51:20 Dybbuks mentioned
"85% of the job is showing up"
Kitchen table issues to fetterman means getting pissed off his wife made spaghetti twice in the same week
As a sports guy/goy myself, I would unironically love barstool for leftists. I would be happy to listen but also participate
been listening to Tipping Pitches for basically that reason, I don't even watch baseball I just love hearing them dunk on team owners
Glad to see our GOATs willfully ignoring the big “socialism” conference. Ish was hella goofy
Our unstoppable army of Americas top debt holders, phd students and those who have been in car accidents
FYI the speech on fitness was 100% on point, was not opposed to fitness per se, and was simply clipped deceptively by trolls.
finally someone is going to start a podcast covering Wrestling from a Leftist angle
I’d just like to point out that Felix’s insight counter has officially passed the threshold where he can start pronouncing Hesse’s name correctly.
AJ dies in Sopranos Season 8 when he crashes his helicopter, killing himself and his only passenger, Donald Trump.
Football for Leftists PLEASE.
When you do the same flub so many times it becomes the episode title
I can confirm that Felix’s scholarly takes on Alberta since visiting one time are correct.
Felix saying “I’ve had 20 staph infections in my life” really added some much needed context to his life
Also this was a good episode
Defund the police funerals
Do the Chapo Boys know that Palmer Lukey got his start in, and still owns, retro video game reproduction company ModRetro? There's a very good chance the Iranians are gonna cut that drone open and it's gonna have the same FPGAs inside it that his N64 remake console has. Imagine your cruise missile having the same internals as a GameBoy Color. He is one of my top characters to watch, I bet he'll usurp Elon.
Thank you Will for addressing what really matters for at least one New York/New Jersey listener: the Giants are going to the super bowl i love my big handsome chud quarterback
Nfl is a centrally planned league, with wage controls in the form of a salary cap and salary floor, revenue sharing, talent redistribution.
Good news! You are debt free. Bad news. You are dead.
Sweden produces their own fighter jets and exports them to other countries. It’s SAAB Gripen, apparently quite a capable fighter.
they also have their own battle tank which is a very unique and interesting design, truly a great military engineering nation that punches way above its weight and remains fiercely independent
Has anyone done an MJ Fetterman type parody yet? Am I late to this? Because that came into my mind the second I saw this episode's title, for some reason.
Adding T&Cs to candy bars that make you get drafted is like that Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode when Carl got his dick ripped off because that was his "prize" from the bottom of his drink from Wongburger
I was waiting for the next pandemic but I’ll watch GoT if there’s a chapo series. Gotta get the pod yourself boys as guests
Man, Felix got staff infections like I get Sinus Infections
I guess this was worth waiting an extra day so yous can take your bougie holiday
Honestly Felix and Kyler Murray would probably get along
Fetterman doesn’t wanna meet with his constituents cause he’s too busy playing in his sensory bin
frowning and sitting through this eating my veggies so i can go listen to hours of bloodborne discussion for dessert
Love that Nicole Mullen is getting op eds in the Jerusalem Post now
damn Gatehouse Ami catching strays
imagine how relieved fetterman was knowing that israel would soon get whatever they wanted regardless of legislators when trump won 2024
They should get Fetterman those dog buttons to communicate
Who wrote this episode? Jonathon Swift?
I like football! 😁
Felix actually pronounced Cyril Ramaphosa 100% correctly but Julius Malema is pronouned "MuhLAYMuh". From a South African Malema fan.
Senator Harry S. Plinkett (D)
Will’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century
Speak a lil Hebrew for em, Fetterman
fenterman want to run bartertown so bad
About to do a 14 hour flight. Need that bloodborne drop pronto.
andurALL is fucking infuriating; like felix do you know what you’re talking about or not man??
Palmer Lucky is the Thomas Edison of people who point and move their mouth when they read of our time
Thought that was Nick Shirley
Nice
Felix grabs my wrist and tells me to wait at 2 minutes and fourteen seconds
Felix got staph from touching his open wounds with his doodoo fingers
Anduril sounds like a drug you get in Florida that causes your tongue to rust
"call an audible" 🫡
vetterman
Gyms are a great place to pick up terrible infections.
Hey, at my local Equinox we’re all on PrEp now.
Dude literally heard a gun shot and ran down the first black person he saw and pointed a shotgun at his chest... And this was way before the stroke
Admittedly, being the honorary mayor of a council-run neighborhood of Pittsburgh is pretty boring, doing 75% of the Ahmaud Arbery murder must've really livened things up.
maybe this is a two birds with one stone situation? feels like sending an ogre to fight the IRGC could be pretty effective, and you probably wouldn't even need to write off his debt 🤷
1:07:00 such a great point lol
Just beat Orphan of Kos. Ready for tommorow's ep 😎
Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and eleven seconds
My cousin’s a union electrician earning hand over fist making Palmer Lucky helmets in Ohio. Between data centers, ice facilities and weapons of war the IBEW has its work cut out for them!
Gatehouse Ami Frey, Wife of failcousin Lancel Lannister
shocked Felix didn’t compare fetterman to king vendrick in the DS2 players club
ASOIAF series let’s fucking gooo!
Finally a Gatehouse Ami reference
Giants will never play another Superbowl. It’s not going to happen.
Don't call me daughterr!
"I'ma eat like twealve shkrimps.." JaMarcus Russel
Get Matthew Goldman on the show
👆
Go bills
(If anyone is actually looking for leftist sports podcasts, I’d recommend State of the League and Nerdsesh)
Chris is wrong! I listen and I love football. But prefer tennis. 🔥
BOOOOO no football its boring
Can't find a Fetterman
Sleepy boys on this one. Need to get Kath back on to bring the energy up.
upside of the sleepiness is all the “vetterman’s” Will dropped
"No, MY tummy hurts." --John Fetterman arguing with his son about who gets to stay home sick today
Several clicks out, on a mountain ridge, you see a black dot move slightly. Is that an IRGC sniper team?? You try to zoom in with your Anduril helmet. Your entire field of vision is replaced with "Lenovo Vantage Plus keeps your device running smoothly and optimiz-"*CRACK* - the C-17 GlobeMaster carrying hundreds of coffins back home is running low on fuel so they have to slide you out over the Atlantic ocean
Where is our dearest beloved Matt...miss his voice
Will sold him for a baggie of coke
J E T S jets jets jets baby let’s fucking go
I believe the proper term for an American debtor conscripted into the war for Israel is "Goynissary".
Gatehouse Amy Frey mention
There's a pretty famous exchange from the congressional hearings that sums up the problem with a draft. One of the representatives asks Westmoreland why he would want to command an army of mercenaries. He said he'd rather command "an army of mercenaries than an army of slaves".
Felix starts kissing my shoulders at 12:49
And quoting from pedo docs he’s apparently been binging
douching my smelly ass with Baja blast after a long hospital shift.
it's a race home holding it in before I explode and spray that nectar if the gods all over my upholstery. I used to use code red but after a few accidents it looks like someone dumped a gallon of corn syrup on my seats.
I for one think that turning the military, a famously stable and rational group of people, into Netanyahu’s personal army of Shabbos Goyim would do wonders to end anti-semitism in the United States.
If you guys keep gassing up my fantasy players to start I’ll subscribe with a second patreon
I think I lost my mouthguard in the Giants' endzone!
It's an all Felix ep
Alhamdulilah
complaining about police funerals is the only good thing Fetterman has done
Ultimate Chapo move recording this right before Haaretz drops an article saying Netanyahu was warned about October 7th days before it happened and did nothing
I am oinking so hard for my late slop thanks boys
Love these long reading series episodes, but I am also NOT gay.
Be cooler if you were
Bitching about having to go to a cop funeral is kinda funny
3 hours???
The A24 movie about this where Jacob Elordi plays Fetterman is gonna go so hard
he better be on some Christian Bale shit and start eating
Football bit just kept going, i respect it and i think i might actually check out the peds this season.
Vetterman is the RXK Nephew JPG Mafia collab
John fetterman goes back and watches the wild thornberries and gets depressed because nigel is a better dad than he is
tenth or whatever who even cares anymore im gonna die alone
Dunno what this drafting debt slaves thing is gonna be but what are they gonna do? Make them sit on a moldy old boat and kill themselves? Or are they going to do human wave attacks like Iran did on Iraq?
Shame on Fetterman for disappointing the one poor kid who spent his Make-A-Wish on a golem.
He could've been dodging an assassination attempt
Ever since this story broke, I was eagerly anticipating this episode. I almost want to play it at half speed to make the experience last.
Every time one of these articles comes out, I think it would be fun to call his offices and leave abusive voicemails, but I guess everyone else has the same idea because the voicemail boxes in both offices are full
I always remember Matt singing that “Better Man” song
Holy crap I also hear that every time Fetterman comes up. Glad I'm not alone. Damn. I miss Matt.
Kept us waiting for dessert, huh?
Second and gay
I, however, am NOT gay.
Hi chapos
Wake up, Sheeple
Holy moly, I got second.
First
second 🗣️