1053 - Graham Crackers feat. Derek Davison (7/13/26)

If the Iranians really want to kill Trump, it's either just pure revenge or they want Vance to be president because he was an Iran skeptic going in, doesn't like Israel very much, and will probably leave ASAP

Maggie Haberman's reporting confirms that nobody was showing Trump Ukraine videos during his first year in office

Those documentary clips show that Lindsey Graham was definitely in the Top 20 of the country's most powerful people

IGBBFYMN

Don’t forget to grab the “Lesser Soul of a Scared Gay Man” after the Lindsey Graham boss fight.

I'm still trying to figure out what "the soft A-N word" is. Am I stupid?

Imagine that the reality is that oil companies are just letting it eat their profit margins they’ve been steadily growing for decades to keep it above 70 dollars which most believe is the sweet spot.

Holy shit the ICBM bit from Will 😂😂😂

Yo what's that song at the end?

nothing against derek but if youre gonna do a seeking derangements episodes then you gotta balance it out with an alex nichols episode. love you guys xoxo

I love paying for patreon and still listening to 3-minute HSN-tier ads at the beginning of each episode

54:42 and Israel being Israel never thought to themselves "hey, that is famously what those Nazi said about the USSR IN WWII, and I'm pretty sure everything worked out pretty good for them"

Daintily securing my son's patella to dip him in the River Styx.

Kash Patel’s band name should be Bad Optics

Chunks Across America

Will bothsidesing the Russia Ukraine conflict and just trailing off with no elaboration lol smdh

Jon Connington mentioned!!!!

I love Will’s Lindsay Graham impression and appreciate the effort to include it as many times as possible in this episode. Hot as a pistol!

He was also loving life because his “dear friend “Mitch McConnell was on corpse Watch giving him a more than likely step up into Senate leader

The Talk UFC and Connor McGregor until minute 13:00.

Loved the 14 minutes of UFC banter…..

Lots of false equivalences between ukr and russian militaries here. The imbalances (i.e in losses, and "single use soldiers") are absolutely not just because russia is a bigger country with a bigger population.

It's sad when they go old like that.

Ukraine is doing pretty well this year, and the drone campaign targeting the oil infrastructure is pretty funny with both the immediate results and the state reactions of "actually, we never needed oil" cope. And they're now sinking the SHADOW FLEET (what a stupid name) at speeds unseen since USN targeted Japanese shipping in WW2. And just in time for Trump to fuck with Iran which has also been pulling the same oil-and-ships thing to great effect.

derek has a super contagious laugh

Marlo Wade: "One more thing. Price of the Chunks going up."

Will y'all pleeeease stop pronouncing Boosie like "boozy"

NYT broke a story well over two years ago featured on the front page detailing that the US military and CIA had been running the entire Ukrainian war effort from logistics to targeting since special military operation began. And Russia has been providing Iran with its most valuable Intel used to target US military personnel held up in hotels across the region since operations began. Not sure why it’s being positioned here like it’s conjecture.

It’s very well known Roger stone is the fixer for pardons like wsj had a story on it last summer lol

oh new chapo! 4 minute promo intro ufc chat in the first minutes of the show 😢

Felix said Ball istic

What a dumb question. Are the U.S. giving targeting data to Ukraine? They have been for the past 3, 4 years now at least.

Yeah, Ukraine has been hitting every single oil refinery in Russia just to impress Trump. Come on Derek

We have a rhombus

Was that a red dead redemption 2 death sound effect?

Any chance of getting a physical version of Chunks?

Methinks mayhap our president has a touch of the -tism! Of the retar varietal!!!

Trump saw Khamenei’s funeral and realized his is gonna be the exact opposite. Only Eric and Don JR will be there

The Great American State Fair, attended by Brace and his friend and that old guy who passed out on the lawn

Trump went from pretty zippy to sounding like a guy who thinks he's funny with the "thank you to your attention to this matter" and the 3rd person voice. He's doing 00's soy dialogue, it's nuts

Calling now JD democrat nominee after being forced out as VP

I think Nancy Mace assassinated him due to his support of the Charleston airport

Felix is definitely onto something with lindsay graham getting killed by a russian missle. Your more likely to get struck by lightning than someone in congress is to die before turning 100. And especially with how active he was. Not buying the heart explosion story

love when Felix tells a guy to blow his brains out

Could make a lot of jokes about why felix is suddenly noticing the elevators are out but I’m just too nice.

$7/GAL by midterms babyyyyyyyy

Wow first comment section in ages not infested with whiny comments about the guest [zitron, or ettinger, or seeking d]. Only prominent Death satiates the appetites of the truly discerning ingrate audience.

I know a lot of Russian, Ukranian, and Russo-Ukranian immigrants. I know my homies are a biased sample, but the take from them all since day one has been "I hope no one's grandma dies and I hope both sides lose"

CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS CHUNKS

Lich McConnell was running low on soul energy and absorbed Lindsay’s life force but it accidentally made him gay. Many such cases!

if Iran offs trump every American city will look like New York after game 5

Describing Boosie as "the breaker of the Lunk Alarm" cracked me up

Very cathartic opening by Felix

1:08 grampa simpson dictates letter to editor about disappearing elevators

lol my girlfriend’s apartment in downtown brooklyn had a fire like 5 years ago and it still has to run only one or two of the four elevators at a time

I subscribe to American Prestige but it's always fun to hear Derek on Chapo because his AP vibe is usually morose and it's good to hear him laugh.

Revolutionary socialist Kshama Sawant is running for Congress!!!!! If endless wars, genocide, ICE detention centers, mass surveillance, poverty wages, no healthcare, and the oncoming climate apocalypse ain’t your bag-then she’s for YOU! Tired of progressive candidates winning elected office only to instantly sell out their base and purported values that got them there for career, clout, and fame? Jungle primary election is August 4th!

I highly recommend Derek's newsletter Foreign Exchanges to anyone who, like me, wants to keep up with international news without sifting through 10 pedophile-owned newspapers every day

"Seventy-one.... he was a fucking kid"

Lindsey Graham died because he was mixing poppers and Viagra

the senate is a completely irrelevant institution. All its members are essentially useless public figures coasting to retirement in sinecures.

Elevator talk?! It’s nice to revisit an old friend. 😊

Nice try, Chapo. We all know Lindsey "dying" is just a marketing stunt to promote Chunks, and guess what? IT WORKED.

The elevator in my building's been broken for more than a week, and apparently it's going take more than a week more for them to get the parts to fix it

Asking Felix for his take on Conor McGregor like you're a student trying to waste class time and hoping he'll forget about the quiz

Felix the mma expert getting every 3rd or 4th thing wrong again unbeknownst to the quidditch fans listening.

It's so funny that Kash has to cancel a PJ trip to see his girlfriend every single time he's asked to do his job.

59:30 you guys missed the best part which was the Iranian response, that ‘if Trump wants to be a guardian he should be a guardian at Lindsey Graham’s tomb’ lol

Felix has a secret Twitter account but I won't tell you hogs what it is

Enough with the MMA shit.

I look forward to being the worst grip on a 100 million dollar chapo movie

Schrödinger’s turtle

Lmao the GTA “dead” jingle

A

A bad week for Grahams everywhere

How does anyone recite trump tweets without sounding like the narrator from a Superman cartoon

Lindsey’s hawkish approach should be no surprise. He just loved war orphans and men in uniform.

what were we laughing at? oh yes that crippled irishman!!!

Killing trump not only might make Irans Job harder if someone more competently gets in there, but also death is way too kind of a punishment for a guy like trump That fucker needs his teeth removed without painkillers

Based on what I've seen iranians saying on telegram, I wonder if the diplomatic effort was khomenei telling the moderates that this was their last chance at diplomacy, or if they were tasked with buying time, which is what the USA wanted to do with the MoU anyways (like Minsk 1 and 2 for Ukraine)

Im down to listen to a 10 part series on broken elevators in felix's neighborhood

Once Russia takes the last urban agglomeration the only question left is if Russia decides to go after another 4 oblasts or if they just decide to turn those oblasts into the first layer of their DMZ

YES EVERYONE FORGETS HE SENT WEAPONS TO UKRAINE OBAMA SENT HELMETS And he pretends this war isn't his fault at all

Bring in them bots babyyyyy

I just need to know if Chunks is secretly Pixar's Sodas because thats what we need

I was joking about Graham making a Faustian Bargain but you guys make me think I was on to something

Out of all the gay Nazis trying to destroy life on Earth, I think Lindsey was my favorite. He won't be missed.

Cmon guys don’t make fun of Lindsey Graham dying. Think about how upset his wife must be :(

He actually died during an interview. He screamed and vanished into thin air instantly

Jacob wohl rules

Obviously it could've (should've) been worse, but Lindsey Graham getting his war with Iran, but living just long enough to see the US getting stomped is pretty much as big of a monkey's paw wish as we can realistically hope for him.

What are ya gonna do? Ya pick up the pieces and you go on.

I can explain the oil question. We’ve been drawing down our SPR at a super high rate, also using it to stabilize our allies. Additionally the futures market is in backwardation, though some have incorrectly labeled it as being in contago. But price suppression efforts cause violent paradoxical swings equilibrated to the levels of suppression, meaning that each time there’s a resumption of fighting oil is liable to swing up that much more. Lastly, throughout all this, even with crude futures plummeting, gasoline and diesel still bulled, meaning that even if an excess of crude existed, refining capacity is not evenly distributed, our refineries for instance, largely can’t process our own crude.

Finally a Chapo ep. with a truly tasteful thumbnail

‘Snafu’ makin a comeback

Carbonized. What else is there to say?

🐞

Iran was charging something like $1 per barrel on board lol

RIP Mike F.

McGregor didn’t even knock out the old guy! The punch barely fazed him!!

Smokin’ on that graham pack!!

Any episode where Felix mentions Yung Grif is a good one 🙏

Conor’s knee is the White Lodge equivalent of The Arm

The ladybugs finally got him

That picture is perfect.

It might break Felix's heart, but yes, the Russian military is almost certainly assisting Iranian strikes and counterstrikes, and in turn benefiting from analysis of the outcomes. We're still waiting on the Chinese armada, or Chinese missile batteries, or Chinese air defense fighters, or whatever, to be delivered (and hopefully not sunk in the Strait of Hormuz), but in the meantime, Russia probably accounts for 99% of the direct foreign military support Iran is getting, excluding Hezbollah fighting on the second front. They certainly exported 99% of the "non-Cambodian Campaign obsolete Yankee shit aircraft" Iran was operating before the war; there's a reason why Moscow was constantly shrinking at angry demands to halt missile and aircraft sales from Washington, because they were the only ones doing it. And I fully expect the United States, the UK, and other NATO countries, to be actively supporting or even fighting alongside the Ukrainian military in the east. In more genuinely surprising news, wow, Graham. Unfortunately, it means we have to listen him being eulogized by a certainly particularly fertile crackhead beneficiary of a presidential pardon explaining how he was actually a beautiful human being. To borrow someone else's words: "You see, I just loved Hitler for his paintings."

Do you think all the male escorts in DC were at half mast for Miss Lindsey?

Chunks promo ends after 4 minutes

Pouring one out for the ladybugs. They didn’t do anything wrong.

Yes thank you Felix

I’m about to blow chunks

My understanding was the woman he raped had to have a tampon surgically removed so fuck him i hope hope his dick falls off.

Felix providing perfectly on point breakdown of McGregor's knee and life exploding. "Best of luck to McGregor's inner demons" 🫡😂🤌 Easy double paycheck for Max one of the 6 remaining decent people left on the UFC roster, bless 🙏🤌💯

I'll wait for chunks on fmovies, I shant pay a red cent. Amber needs to get a job.

Wow. I didn’t know that. I just — you’re telling me now for the first time. He led an amazing life. What else can you say? He was an amazing man. Whether you agree or not, he was an amazing man who led an amazing life. I’m actually saddened to hear that. I am saddened to hear that. Thank you very much.

his mossad handler should release his blackmail anyways...just for the love of the game

DIVA DOWN!!

Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and 34 seconds

Russia smoked Lindsey Graham

lindsey had a stroke in his ass

The backpage twinks of DC bout to carry his body off to the sewers like the Penguins in Batman Returns.

He died like a dog

We have a fly problem, folks

My goat repeat guest. I was just relistening to chapo episode 24 “Gulens Gonna Gulen” featuring Derek Davison while moving

Lindsay Graham gave me the best blowjob of my life

oh shit lets go babygirls 💅🏽 🤍

first