929 - Given feat. Alex Nichols (4/28/25)

Seth Bullock mentioned

have you considered inviting Alex to become a permanent Chapo member? the energy he brings fits in so well, you all have a great dynamic with him. ive been listening to old eps - just listened to ep 111, about Jeff Newsroom. everyone is on that ep - incl Brendan, Virgil, Amber. and its SO funny! after departures and Matt’s personal stuff, you have a shallow bench. you know that of course, and im not complaining - its all unavoidable and things change and i still love the show. both Will and Felix are hilarious, and so is Matt when he’s on and throwing out gems. these days the Alex eps are consistently the best :) and i just wanted to give him props and make that suggestion.

I love you guys, but listening to the crew try to find the words "flight deck" when top gun came out 40 years ago was something else

Will says “nuclear” like Dubya

Primo Levy if he was a lunch 🥪 🤣

Teddie all natural peanut butter is actually delicious.

Bravo

Number one way to become a knight

What is “plane torque-o” a reference to? It has to be a movie but the only thing google is showing is Borderlands (game)

Hell yeah Dynasty Warriors. Playing DW8, just unlocked Lu Bu.

Hospitality professional here: they offer you "sparkling or tap?" because they want you to buy an $8-11 bottle of san pellagrino

Why take the time to dignify that recording with a response? This is regular shit-lib red bating. These people should not be addressed. They should be reminded that they are political dead weight, viciously mocked, and called gay. This is the only response they deserve.

I'd like to um actually your jokes about aircraft carriers. They cruise at 20 mph and can hit 30 mph and bank during maneuvers

Was missing Alex. Great episode

I want the Felix stage musical where he diagetically gets rapped at by schizophrenics so bad

I used to have a boss that drank on the job and boy did we take advantage of that cue to just do whatever vices we could while we were at work. Pete hegseth superstructure is definitely sleeping in to the marrow at this point. I think the rum might be back tbh

I know there's a lot of problems with the Greens, but they're our last chance for cranks in national politics, folks.

I love hearing the origin story of Felix's soda reverence.

Chapo coming for Contrapoints on the critique power meme. Here for it

Pumped about the Will Blunderfield mention, even if the boys couldn't remember his name

its kinda like your job to go find interesting conservative nutcases to talk about, idk ...

Anne "Colt-hair"

Abour an hour (51m to be exact) in, Felix gets too shouty. I don't find it funny or interesting to listen to. It's a shtick but it gets old fast.

Who’s that fellow who’s always standing and walking???

I saw Alex as a guest. Cool he's going to pitch the live show. Nope.

Felix channeling Matt this ep

Good news everyone the US isn't winning WW3. Bad news is that it created a society so shit I worry the soldiers are nihilistic enough to launch their nukes if the order comes down.

Where the white women at? (I don’t wanna be there)

I’m sorry it’s BDS but god dang that Sprite Chill Zero Sugar has been the best drink of the summer

The stir peanut butter tastes better. You guys are philistines

Alex forgot they literally did shoot down their own plane.

White women were a mistake. Why would China make more?

Can Alex be on every episode

Felix at the 50 minute mark. 100%.

Alex needs to be a permanent member of the show

Can't believe Felix lives in NYC and hasn't been to the Intrepid museum, fake plane fan smh

Felix is right! I'm so sick of these airport people and its time somebody did something!!!!

we love alex!!!!!!

Being Jewish is relaxing

Will Blunderfield is the guy who eats his own cum and says all the homoerotic Celtic stuff, yeah he needs to be chronicled

I never thought someone being gunned down by cops could ever be humorous until Ashli and the Pizzagate guy.

he said plane Torgos

I found a tweet of my distant cousin who works for Steve Bannon (Nicole Nogrady) with Natalie Winters. It says “Hi Barbie!” and they’re at AMFEST 💀

If you want extra commentary or directions on a movie, I'd recommend checking out Who Killed Captain Alex from Wakaliwood out of Uganda. You can watch the whole thing on YouTube for free. It's great

Okay so why do you believe the guy who said the thing that made you so mad at AOC? Is he not one of the Israeli maniacs who just makes shit up? Serious question considering you interrupted your funny stupid stuff to talk about her for so long and I don’t see why you have decided she is lying vs him?

I grew up in Alabama. And our house was completely stocked with Little Debbie’s, endless Soda, and Jimmy Dean’s breakfast Sausage/Pancake corn dogs. And most importantly, toaster strudels

So i graduated uni in 2001 (yes old) and got a job at Intrepid Museum Foundation hoping to segue skills into an art museum job (ha). It was my second day at work Sept 11 2001. The FBI took over the ship as a command center and we had to deal with families from Cantor Firtzgerald (HUGE museum booster) at a hotel by Central Park. A few weeks later we were kinda back to doing whatever it is they normally do back on the boat. I was cut to part time since there were layoffs happening everywhere. The nation was beating the war drums and it was basically intolerable to work there. Interestingly some veteran military types worked there and opposed the war. Anyway, what the foundation did was raise money for the museum but it was also seemingly a fundraising front of sorts for politicians. We had these big 1000 plate dinners with famous speakers and took contribs from Howard Lutnick and also a lot of real estate guys and “waste management” guys. Gen Tommy Franks and Donald Rumsfeld headlined. Billy Baldwin groped my ass during a staff group photo. Anyway it was cool working on the ship itself but I left for a job at the NYCLU b/c the jingoistic insanity was too much for me. It’s a cool museum tho.

I gained 60 lbs in college because I could finally drink soda

Im glad to hear Felix plays Dynasty Warriors thats the test of somebody with a truly sophisticated taste in games. It's easy to say you like Kojima and Miyazaki but when he goes to bat for Dynasty Warriors you know he's the real deal

I think the bottled water people think bottled water is like the “raw milk” of water that’s like bottled directly from a spring. But bottled water is just normal municipal water that goes through reverse osmosis and they add some minerals to it. Sometime in the next decade, I think conservatives are going to learn plastics leach chemicals into water and bottled water will become the new seed oils.

Alex is always a great guest. I know he’s on quite a bit, but I wish he was just a regular cohost at this point.

“They should make white women in a lab” Yakub already did that to calamitous effect

Will Menaker: Fake Melville fan

I love it when Felix goes full Matt

Whenever Dems stick to a “norm” despite it kicking themselves in the crotch, “It’s Gerry’s turn” Whenever GOP violates a norm or a law to shove their shit down our throats, “Mitch gonna Mitch, bitch”

Doge should look into the government waste surrounding the loss of this fa18

Also, Felix, no one likes pilots but pilots. They’re the worse kind of officers and they often fail to tie their own shoes. Top Gun makes them remove every functional part of their brains to be able to process 29473 different iPad screens.

Listen, ABHs and shooters aren’t Torgos. Torgos are the AOs loading the bombs and they knew for a fact the day they walked into the recruiters office they had no chance of being a pilot. They joined because they had an undiagnosed learning disability and a pregnant girlfriend in high school.

my dad used to bring a bag of raw vegetables & nuts to work every day & made us drink a glass of spinach juice before we went to school

I'm not gonna vote or organize or start any revolution whatsoever, I'm just going to make fun of people who vote bc I'm so cool don't you all think I'm cool? Please think I'm cool I said the "vote harder" line and everything! Edit: not trying to sound like a dick but I really don't think shaming people for wanting to continue electoral participation is any better than what the shitlibs do.

Hell I knew a schizophrenic GOTH who also fancied himself a rapper.

"Airport idiot" thank you Felix. gonna have that one permanently in the chamber.

An f'ing aircraft carrier can't make a turn "hard" enough to sling a fighter jet off of it .. right?

Hot Shots [Jim Abrahms; 1991] was a documentary

feels like classic chapo great ep

Make wood great again

We would need a magical beast that could unite Working Families, the Greens, PSL, CPUSA, and all the smaller leftist into a broad front coalition or a congress of socialist parties

I just want felix to do his own side pod like movie mindset but about aircraft

The Felix rant was on par with Matt. Goddamn.

The only electoral option is to start a legit and ambitious 3rd party with at least one major union's support and begin the long but actually productive process of undermining the two party system, which Bernie should have done in 2016 and if he doesn't do/support before he's dead, he's an absolute waste

49:53 the spirit of st. cushbomb enters Felix's body

"The Move Crew" is what i call my freestyle dance group

Love having Alex on the pod. Great ep, good works lads.

“My dad would bring this pro-ana lunch to work every day”

Felix asked if ‘this’ looked like power and I would say AoC’s ploy is to try the Obama thing again but I don’t even think she’s as woke as ‘07 Obama while she has shown only the opposite of resilience towards the forces which corrupted him

I will never think video games are cool or interesting. It's like listening to someone talk about the dream they had.

Talking about Meade. The Troubadour of Richmond!

Can’t believe we got Meade outro music

will try reading moby dick if you want to pick up some boat terms

i think i’ll just forever disagree with these guys take on progressive candidates like AOC and how to approach politics in general. i get their criticisms and i think they’re valid and ought to be voiced, but i completely disagree with their takeaways. they see it as a reason not to support AOC and to stop participating, and i only see it as a reason TO support and push her more. will takes a “what have you done for me lately” approach, and i think democracy is fundamentally a participatory game. these politicians like AOC are only as good and as powerful as the coalition behind them. meaning, it’s on her, but it’s also on all of us. it’s our responsibility to change the society to create the candidates we need and deserve. again, not to let AOC or any others off the hook but i’ve listened to them enough for years to understand that they don’t appear to understand this crucial dynamic.

i saw a clip from the andrew schulz podcast with pete buttigieg and andrew asks him if he’s a gold star gay and pete just looks so shocked that someone would ask him that it was honestly so cringe i couldn’t wait around for his answer i had to swipe through

The boys bringing up Ezekiel bread sent me into horrific visions of the past

I once saw a guy lose his mind at the Sacramento Co-Op because he was convinced the organic peanut butter had gone bad on account of the oil separating. He would not let it go.

Alex is the best.

Felix’s rant about the boring woman has me in tears. And white bread is absolutely goy slop

RE Navy Fuckups, never attribute to malice which you can attribute to a low ASVAB scoring hung over sailor. Some 20 year old with the shakes praying that he remembered to secure the tow straps is responsible for a F/A-18 and that's pretty cool.

LINE UP ATHWART SHIP JACKASS

Go get the spares. They're in the supply closet aft if the galley. NOT THE SCULLERY YOU FUCKING IDIOT

Turn to port. TO PORT!

Was Will’s peanut allergy girlfriend the same girl as his Ginger-coded girlfriend or were they different girlfriends?

The Allies tried to build an aircraft carrier out of frozen wood pulp in WW2. Project Habbakuk. It would’ve been the largest Navy vessel ever built but got shitcanned for obvious reasons.

when the description said "new up-and-coming conservative influence" that annoys Felix, i thought for sure it was that Misfit Conservative guy with beautiful lashes who loves Israel.

Chapo boys hating on my diet.

I've been emailing Darius Rucker's agent frot the past 3 weeks and I still have yet to hear a word about the Hooties

In Bleeding Edge a side character gets picked up by an umbrella company when they discover he is taping movies. They considered the taped movies to be post post modern art.

Aww... I don't think Gerry Connolly is going to make it back to his home timeline

Feel like white Chinese Obama

Felix crash out let’s go

There is this thing in Maritime engineering called the hull speed rule. Generally speaking, the speed of a displacement Hull is the square root of the length at the water line times 1.34. the upshot of it is that, the longer the hull, the faster the boat. That's for displacement hulls. They can't go faster than this no matter how much power is applied, because they would be trying to climb over their own bow wave and skate along the surface of the water like a ski boat. No 100,000 ton ship is ever going to have enough power to do that. US aircraft carriers are around 1,050 ft long, which gives them a theoretical hull speed of 45 knots, which is 53 miles per hour. I should add, it is possible for a displacement Hull to go faster than this. It can begin to climb the bow wave, at the price of doubling or tripling the power. You might get fifteen or twenty percent more speed with that investment of power. That's not an efficient - or stable - configuration, but twenty percent faster than 53 mph is 65 mph, which is pretty damn fast for a skyscraper size object. The Navy's specs on Nimitz class carriers are 34 knots, but anecdotally it's an open secret they are much faster than this.

Felix, I feel you on the bread struggle. Growing up, the only bread we had in the house was the whole grain kind with the fucking nuts and seeds in it. I didn’t have white bread until I was in high school

Plane Torgo

Say what you will about Jerry Connolly but he pioneered the wall facer program and had the grit to broadcast earth’s coordinates if the trisolaran fleet moved toward our solar system. AOC would crack up within days under the constant observation of the Sophon’s. Y’all need to grow up.

Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and 40 seconds. ALEX NICHOLS!

Jesus this woman is to felix what meghan mcardle was to matt

Yeah the women in Trump’s orbit do all have a type. They all resemble his daughter. Weird how that happens.

We’re not gonna talk about Virginia Giuffre’s “suicide”?

On the one hand, US soldiers fighting over there cant do a holocaust over here, but trumps main muscle is going to be the cops anyways. How many coups has the army won in the cops v army coup tournament? Not a lot I dont think

Evasive maneuvers are obviously par for the course but I also wonder if they did that because they're rationing ammo. Theyve been at sea a long time and isreal and ukraine keep eating all the ammo

"I will go down with this ship" - Dido

Felix claims to have an autistic fascination with fighter jets, yet doesn't know that aircraft carriers cruise at some crazy speed like 50 mph? They're fast as fuck, to help the planes take off

Felix was 🔥 today, we have to sleep deprive him more often

I wasn't even aware an Aircraft carrier could turn hard enough for a plane to roll off the side, I've got some extra $30 wheel chocks from Harbor Freight if the navy needs them.

So what was the verdict on the weird lisp that Will had on that Doom Scroll interview?

It's really annoying how fascists used to be these tortured/failed artists with PTSD and undiagnosed autism and now they are all Walmart graphic tee-shirt wearing dopes

Personal theory about Democrat gerentocracy is that younger people hate Israel and won't take AIPAC money

Conspiracy theorist back in the day: “The background dancer in the run this town video has three stripes on their shoe. This proves Jay-Z is in the bilderberg group” Conspiracy theorist now: “Olive oil makes my tummy hurt”

Let’s go to our military expert who plays video games all day

The Tomb of the Unknown Torgo.

Apparently there is a legitimate “zig-zag” manoeuvre that aircraft carriers use to evade missile fire, but jeez if the Houthis were the cause they are *smoking* the US Navy right now They destroyed a $60,000,000+ aircraft while only having to spend like $1000 on whatever they sent at the ship that made the crew so scared

While it wasn't Matt on McArdle, Felix did gun for one of the top outbursts on the show of all time there.

Can we just shutup about AOC and Bernie at this point who cares, they're washed

Gilbert was married and Sullivan was a certified Chad

Always in for an EP w/ Alex 🫡

Chris should stop flexing on will by saying the store url correctly

Laura Scudder peanut butter is the best you donkeys

Vote Third Party. Vote Greens. Adam Mckay is right. Stop focussing on the Democrats and then questioning the point of it. Focus on taking votes away from them and putting them in the Greens for no other reason than spite. I just don't get where this newfound defeatism is coming from. The American Left isn't Bernie, or AOC, it's you. And you need to get together with your fellow influencers and start endorsing the Greens in every election for its own sake. You can do nothing else but doing nothing entirely is just weird.

Lindsey Graham’s looper took me out lol

opening things up today talking about the Boeing F/A-18E ‘super hornet’

I was aviation in the navy, you have to be lazy as fuck to not have that shit secured. Just tying shit down with ropes, that’s all you gotta do lol.

I went to college (UChicago) with Natalie Winters. She was in all my mandatory Poli Sci and History classes. Rarely showed up to class. During Zoom school, she kept her camera off the entire time and when her camera was on, she was laying by the pool. It didn’t seem like she took her education particularly seriously.

The Houthis really are geniuses of war. They're attacking our carriers with giant nautical obstructions that need emergency maneuvers to avoid like it's the fucking Titanic.

I love Alex

Henis Penis

Canada go to the polls

No one knows how fast carriers go because that is classified. And it's protected because it is faster than every other (surface) ship in the fleet. Unlike planes, boats get faster with size do a high-g evasion is really plausible for a giant expensive target like a carrier.

Under Pete Hegseth’s direction, even the fighter jets are drunk and falling overboard

Literally just woke up from a bad dream to find to Mr. Chapo waiting to comfort me! *tender kiss*

Alex Nichols episode dropping right before I go to sleep is painful

First