894 - Drone Bore feat. David J. Roth (12/16/24)
Defector’s David Roth is back on the pod. We start with his write up of the recent drone scare over New Jersey, and how our ever-skittish suburbanites are discovering new ways to be scared of the lights in the night sky. Then, a review of recent media reactions to Luigi-mania, including the Atlantic tut-tutting over “decivilization” and the Root having a certified “bruh” moment. Finally, the most important bellwether poll of the year: the PornHub annual search trends results.
Find all things David Roth at the Defector: https://defector.com/author/david-roth
Last bits of merch going at discount over at https://chapotraphouse.store/
Comments (165)
Mean Gene Okerlund
How would anyone connect “anal dildo” with “Alaska”
I hate to have to tap in on the “music” thing but I know exactly what gen z is looking for. Theres a whole culture that’s developed around PMV’s (porn music videos), where a bunch of porn clips are edited together to music. I have to say, they get creative with it. I think it’s probably popping off with gen z due to the lack of attention to long form stuff. It’s like a birdshot collage of porn instead of one singular event. I hate that I just typed all this out.
Guy from the root article sounds like theyre impersonating mos def
Man, those writers are really asking for it huh
I hope Felix was teasing a new adventure with Pancake and Keester downing the Iranian mothership
What’s the sound clip at the end?
Twin Peaks
lol all the Peter Thiel appearance references slimmer, humming bird blinking, a puddle,
Roth is one of the best guests love when he brings sports into too
I don’t know that there is a more accurate description of Colin Cowherd than “a guy with a 66 IQ becoming pointier and pointier” hats off to you Mr. Roth
Always love a Roth episode
Roth is the greatest. Always love when he’s on. The segment about the sports podcasts was so good I’m dying
have they ever gotten the title of Felix's series right even once?
It is sad that there was no memorial... For Brian Thompson. It is sad to suck so hard that you get murdered and it doesn't inspire any sympathy
If CEOs want a memorial for him, they can make one! No one wants to work anymore!
How is Maine's search "depraved"? As I've gotten older I've come to enjoy nibblin' on a little fur burger. The rest I agree on though, if you're searching grandma or any kind of hentai, that should be a jail able offense. Same goes for feet too.
woman is the underinsured of the world 🤣
Wow Will WOW
It's an amazing transformation that takes place when you own a home. You start thinking only of your pathetic kingdom, and protecting it's illusionary borders.
Honestly NJ... If it's cold, they're cold, bring your drones inside this holiday season
Drone on drone violence is a sad state of affairs
So the position of the podcast is that there were no drones?
My impression is that the military has acknowledged that there are drones and said they don't know where they came from but promise the drones aren't worth worrying about. In other words, people in NJ are witnessing military tech tests
Hate to rain on the parade, but I think the reason that some states were blank on the pornhub map is actually because the site is not accessible in those states
THE ROOT
The Kamala/Teddy Ruxpin comparison is spot on, as long as Teddy is kind of fucked up and chewing up the tape a bit
I got a pole result for ya right here, pal
The brown water navy of the Jersey Shore Used Car Dealers Association is actually pretty well equiped. Mikey and the boys got a few pontoon boats with dual C-mag fed ARs. I say deputize them and let them fight the aliens and airline pilots.
As regards the gen z pornhub searches, I think the explanation of some of those like Music or History of the Ottomans is pretty simple: it's one of the easiest places to find copyrighted stuff that kids don't know how to stream or torrent any more. I think there's also a general knowledge among them that there is lots of non porn content on there and they just think it's funny to watch it on there, especially as it's easier to find than on paywalled, adchoked, and virus ridden websites anyway
Man, I dunno if this is the like 'statistically correct' take but it's definitely my favorite. Neato
This article sounds like it was written by a Christian, teen rehab pastor.
Metal Gear Rex is currently over Weehawken
David, you’re thinking of The Mouth of the South, Jimmy Hart.
lol who wrote that stupid ass article
BlackSlangBot v1.2
True story: I bought the DVD of Deep Throat for the soundtrack (this was like 20 years ago before you could get it easily online). So yeah, I totally believe people will search PornHub for music. Are there any porn soundtracks as fire as Deep Throat's?
sure buddy
Why would the most searched porn hub term be Turkish in ny? Do they mean they searched “Turkish” more than “hot” or “fuck”? I don’t really get the list. Or is it just highest new search term
It's not the most searched term, but the uniquely most searched relative to the other states' searches for that term, so people in NY are searching Turkish more than people are searching it in any other state, even if it's only like 2% of NY searches because it's less than 2% everywhere else. It's sorta the porn search version of those state-by-state maps that are like "most commonly spoken language besides English & Spanish" and it'll say like "Polish" or "Hmong" except instead of learning about concentrations of diasporas it's types of pervert
In Rikers, all that stannin by the public won’t protec bruh
can't wait for all the discourse calling you unreasonable and naive because you don't accept Iran built the Arsenal Bird
The phrase “handsome hamburger party” has popped into my head at least once a week since that episode came out
Felix sister guest 3rd mic when? Every episode he brings us another great line
She’s so great. I think Felix did an episode of this is sus with her and she was awesome
anyone know what the outro audio is from?
Twin peaks, idk what episode. One of the black lodge scenes
Roth or weigel easily the best guests
Jon Bois in the mix as well.
Jersey Boomer spooked by stars
UnitedHealth is not just on the Fortune 500… it is RANKED #8! Literally up there with the likes of Saudi Aramco.
To be clear, that’s the Fortune Global 500. It’s #4 on the Fortune 500.
The thing about guys ;like this Jeff Van Drew is that they've won now so it doesn't matter anymore. Is he crazy? Yes. Is he a moron? Yes. But so what? America has chosen crazy and moronic to run things because of the price of eggs or some shit so none of this matters anymore. These guys can and will say whatever nonsense occurs to them, on camera, because they have seen that, as long as they say it with conviction and never back down, they too could be President some day. Exciting times.
"Woman is the uninsured of the world" is an all-time Felix heater
CHRIS WADE IF YOU SEE THIS: what was that outro track?
Pretty sure it’s a scene from Twin Peaks.
The next trad dork slogan is going to be "You don't need healthcare".
You WILL eat the bugs. You WILL live in the pod. You WILL receive the medicines and procedures which ease your physical pain and/or solve a problem occurring within your body. That's what THE CATHEDRAL has planned for you. WHICH WAY WESTERN MAN
I just find it interesting that Will thinks Maine's search preference qualifies as really depraved. Really makes you think.
On the topic of generations, it occurred to me that my kids were both born in that sweet spot where generations overlap. They can choose Gen Z or Gen Alpha depending on who’s being blamed for everything at that moment. lol.
Pity the kids born in the next 15 years... The Betas
“Where we’re going, we don’t need eyes. AND THATS OKAY 👍 ” Whew.. I had a LONG facking laughing fit at that one lol
"Tragedy Smurf smirks/a middle man's shirt bursts" -El Producto foretelling the rise of Luigi in Drones over Bklyn
Love the El-p transition from the drone story.
The Roth Slops For Me
The musical interlude/transition around 15:50 is the worst thing that’s ever happened in this podcasts’s existence
I guess all those military bases reporting drones and closing their airspace are being fooled by airplanes and stars
Or, more likely, they are just lying / covering / part of the operation.
Israel is again stealing weapons grade uranium from the East Coast and the drones are radiation trackers.
I think Felix would appreciate a stuffed monkey left at his memorial
A plushie manul with a little squeezebox that says "Give Iran F35 Lightnings" in Chinese.
Roth episodes always the best, blessed lol o7
What is the clip at the end from?
Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ax1ZIpyiY8
At about 42 minutes, Will says 'bust a cap' and Roth's response of 'mmmnnnmm' is the hardest I've laughed in a while
I'm 99% certain that the Root is actually just a handful of white shit-lib journalists writing behind sock puppet accounts with about a dozen instagram photos of black journalists for ‘street cred’
Hey ChatGPT, turn ebonics filter up 30%
Jim Cornette ——-watch out for that tennis racket!!
Please give equal time for Sammy J. Hagar to express his opinions as well.
Richard Petty is a pretty deep cut at this point.
Crazy that there actual takeaway is “yeah there could be 1000 of drones over NJ, but are they HURTING anyone??” ….?!? Pod Save would have a more interesting take!!
that's what you think the takeaway was? lol
It is a great litmus test of which type of paranoid and/or crazy you’re dealing with if you ask what someone thinks the drones are. My millennial brothers and I are team-psyop. My boomer dad is team UFO. My Gen x mom is disturbed by what all of us theorize. So excited for Christmas dinner so we can argue over it.
As some people may have or will point out there are military and military adjacent points of interest in this area of South Jersey. Not too say it means anything, but yeah.
Felix’s sister with the best line🔥🔥 (“Do white women still deserve to be called folx after …?”)
The biederman kids are so fucking funny
Wisconsin embracing their German heritage
All Kamala had to do was jangle some keys well enough to distract people from how upset they were about the economy or Palestine and she couldn't even fucking do that
No other object has been misidentified as a flying drone more often than the planet Venus…
Heard this perfectly in Ventura’s voice in my head
Is that garmonbozia in the ep pic? About to listen now
"First they came for the ceo of united Healthcare, but I said nothing..."
Woman is the underinsured of the world has me in tears. Felix is the fucking greatest
Just in case anyone was wondering, the writer of the root article is: 1. A man 2. A crypto bro 3. Actually black 4. A former editor at BET 5. Running one of the ugliest personal blogs I've seen in a hot sec So nothing surprising but ridiculous still.
All checks out with The Root
NJ has some of the highest radar coverage on the east coast. The FAAs tech center is in ATC. Military bases are the calibration standard for all new sensor systems and survey gear. This is how we introduce the public to the new look.
Love the El-P drop
same, and the Hub drum fill will always hit for me
There literally has been no news for like two or three weeks. This drone shit is just a manufactured story the news is only covering because they need something to talk about other than 24/7 Luigi
There's something going on with the drones, whether it be military testing / a psyop / something else entirely. It's not just a case of mass delusion.
just military tests they’ve been developing giant drones for years in the middle of the state at a naval base. probably 99.99% of sightings are airplanes though. theres probably 10 real drones
Vertical vids, because then it’s easier to hold the phone in one hand. Do not expect a gen Z to ever put the phone down.
The UnitedHealth media response has been as if the aliens from they live were just handing out the sunglasses
nutmeg represent
I NEEEDED the Drones over Brooklyn break so badly thank you Chris
jesus, cancer 4 cure came out TWELVE YEARS AGO nooooo I'm an old
The Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart!
Always a good day when DJR is on your podbof choice
Trump should be allowed to stay at Mar-al-lago full time if he keeps those food pics going. I need to see a pics of a orange dinner rolls the size of softballs next to an AI generated lobster to get me through this administration.
Drones over Brooklyn needle drop goes crazy
“Last year you believed there was a flying saucer over East Rutherford”
Writing in youth internet slang AAV while maintaining correct Standard English grammar is a serious offense and should not be taken so lightly. I hope the hosts of this show learn from this episode and the jocularity ceases in subsequent outings. The Root nourishes a seed producing Tree. Be Wary of the Wood.
I fell asleep listening to this and omg the dream I just had lol
Having grown up in an Old Growth suburb in New Jersey, people being bored and needing something interesting no matter how insane or illogical it might be is the perfect explanation for the mass hysteria over the drones. People who've never looked up once in their lives are seeing planes at night for the first time ever and losing it, but at least theyve stopped complaining on next door about kids playing loudly outside.
"hotel businessman"
a beautiful film entitled THE PAINTED HOUSE, where a man is worried that he may not be able to keep his job by kissing his father-in-law on the lips
Subtle touch playing the drones over brooklyn instrumental
Sometimes I forget how genuinely insightful and intelligent Felix is. Great observation about how Luigi forces these feckless pencil pushers to stare into the mirror and face how they’ve completely negated all agency and responsibility from their lives.
Reports of a set of Red, Yellow and Blue drones orbiting a bigger aircraft. New sightings are shown the bigger aircraft has the insignia of "S.S. Dolphin".
"It doesn't matter the vessel you're pouring it into if it's the same shit." is a 🔥Felix line.
Came and passed out
Maybe the drones escaped captivity and have formed a feral colony in NJ. Leave them be
They're gonna kill a misguided Christian missionary in a couple of months
Obviously I think a huge amount of drone sightings are mass hysteria bullshit, or police doing domestic spying. But I also have a pet theory that given recent developments some company or defense firm in the US government is busy making drones that are more accessible and basically fly and maintain themselves so any Ukranian teenager or Syrian jihadist luddite can use them. Problem being that the defense industry is starting to feel the effects of the en-shit-ificafion of the tech sector and whatever AI-powered operational assistance software they made is trash. Like bad enough to cause more than a few of these to go wildly off course or fall out of the sky. The only reason why it's kept so secret is that it's all under NDA to protect the reputation, share prices, and intellectual property of these coddled contractors like Boeing that can barely make a functional unmanned aircraft anymore.
New Jersey has three important military installations one of them is a massive air force base and munitions testing ground (I hear them test a10s there all the time) and the other is Picatinny Arsenal another R&D place and testing ground. It’s possible there actually were drones flying around at some point or another.
Drone drone drone drone Drone Drone DRONE DROOOOONNNNE
The Iranian mother ship thing kills me. Are they aware that there is a finite amount of energy that a drone can store and that they cannot just sit over international waters for months on end? Do they think it is solar powered?
we are so back —zeppelins
happy to hear the pitchfork guy who did that Coltrane review is still getting work
Fuckin classic
Great to hear Roth back, great to hear another Smerconish reference- again, the fancy son of a major tyrannical real estate agent, Flo Smerconish, Google her, she’s still doing real estate
Drones as the white suburb version of leprechauns
This episode is one of the all time greats. The chapos still got it, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that
Roth Roth Roth!
Lmao the root also has a headline rn that says “shocking connection between diddy and mangione cases” and the connection (3 paragraphs down) is that the lawyers representing the two of them are married
"The mind-blowing link..." 🤯 lol Can't tell you how happy I was when AV Club finally escaped the G/O Media clickbait dumpster fire.
The barking dogs are probably COVID dogs that never got trained properly and went mad when their owners went back to work
Just like in The Leftovers... "They're not our dogs anymore."
Felix's John Lennon joke fucking killed me
Begun, the drone bores have
Hey LI chapos, let’s welcome Dan P properly if we ever catch him at a pizza place, grocery store, cement curb.
If 40 - 50 feral drones invade your property, you better believe you gonna want an AR-15 handy
Mama Mia! The Adjuster is an Article Guy.
New Jersey cops shooting at planes with AR-15s has the exact same energy as un contacted tribes shooting at helicopters with bows. Truly humans are all the same at heart.
Man these people will blame anything but inequality and injustice for civilizational decline. Just a bunch of unmoored cultural norms
Where can I buy a drone that sucks my dick? Don’t even need to buy one myself, I’d be happy if someone else’s drone makes me cum. I just want to cum, ok??
https://youtu.be/dZrHzYJpllI
Felix begins speaking at 3 minutes and 2 seconds
We love us some Roth, don't we folks
I said no creamed corn!
It's time for slopimaniacs And we're simpin' to the max So just eat shit and relax You'll goon 'til you collapse They're the ChapoTrapiacs!
VAN HALEN
Wait until they find out about the dead drone RFK Jr tossed out of his car onto the turnpike
Imagine this episode but it's with David Lee Roth talking about drones
I always think David Lee Roth when I see his name
The Richard Petty type Dave mentions must be the legend Jimmy Hart
like 7th or whatever
Adam Friedland 4 President 2028!!!
Hasan - VP Nick - Secretary of State Stavros - HHS Felix - Secretary of Defense Matt - Attorney General Amber - Secretary of Labor Will - Secretary of Commerce Chris - Chief of Staff Brace - Director of Intelligence Brendan - Secretary of Education Kath - Secretary of Interior Roth - Press Secretary Alex - UN Ambassador Yung - Communications Director Derek - Foreign Policy Adviser Liz - Secretary of Treasury Adomian - Secretary of Transport Trevor B. - Secretary of Housing Hesse - Security of Energy Quimby - DoGE (Dept. of Guys Everywhere)
Garmonbozia?
Garmonbozia
FILTH! I MEAN FIRST!
FIRST MOTHA FUCKA!!!
Fufufu fuuurrst
Nice.