886 - Cabinet Curiosity feat. Alex Nichols (11/18/24)
We review the various freaks, toadies, goons, and TV personalities that Trump has tapped to build his second cabinet, and speculate how much damage Vivek & Elon can actually do with their kids-table DOGE advisory board. We also discuss the coalescing view among the pundit class that the Democrats need to abandon their various activist groups, as espoused in today’s reading series by Adam Jentleson. Finally, a new (hopefully semi-regular) feature from Matt.
Comments (387)
He is the new T S Eliot
So good to hear Matt ❤️
Great to hear Matt!
Fantastic episode. Just premium. So happy to hear Matt.
Loved hearing Matt. ❤️✌️🤘
So with the subtext from the prose poem, as a new leftist, I’m supposed to eat the dogs and eat the cats to show my support?
Yes. Upload a video and tag the chapo team they'll really appreciate it
"Because B. F. Skinner forgot the pellets."
I think I will unironically support using taxpayer money to pay for prisoners transitioning surgeries
“Red pill is the new blue chew”
Any idea if these poems are posted anywhere? Wanted to read them again
Someone posted a transcript in the comments!
🥹🥹🥹🥹
wtf
Piggies need slop
where’s my fucking Schnipper’s (the new ep)
Is there a list of Matt's best rants? I want to revisit some.
check out AcidMarxist on youtube! i think they have a compilation
strokes of genius lmao did it make him more powerful or something, imagine if this happened to Lenin
Really wish Matt were back. Respect to Will, Felix, and Chris, but without his visionary insight the show tends towards esoteric mediocrity. Love y’all and hope you keep at it no matter what. But just stating a fact
Where's ep 887?
Here you go. My best attempt at transcription. Here There Is No Why: A Dialogue “How could you let this happen?” I said, dropping my monocle. “Kamala Harris is a proven leader. Radical chic. A pleasing hum, a trusted caretaker. Checked all of the boxes. Her resume is impeccable. Why risk all of that for a thrice impeached Cheeto?” “Because they are eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats that are in there.” “But the news said it was baseless! There was no Ring footage. They made it up. Harris laughed. It’s absurd. Why trust the bottomless Pinocchio?” “Because they are eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats that are in there.” “But global warming is a thing! Trump brushed it off. Helena killed 230 people. Isn’t that a bigger deal than fantasy?” “Because they are eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats that are in there.” “But what does that mean? And why risk our precious democracy? Turn the executive treasury into a Sharper Image. “Because they are eating the dogs. They’re eating the cats that are in there.” “In where? That’s not even what he said. Watch the footage!” “Because sometimes I look into the mirror and I scream. Because inside that so-called pleasant hum I recognize mocking laughter. Because the twilight of the gods needs a decent Ragnarök. Because the viking funeral throws off embers of eternal golden arches. Because B.F. Skinner forgot the pellets. Because even a Clockwork Orange is right twice a day. Because I don’t trust your embrace. Because I prefer singing the YMCA so I can see where your hands are. Because I’d gladly trade sensitivity training for a donkey show. Because the house may wear white, but it still has a back door. Because what happens in D.C. stays in D.C. Because everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Because the flag still stands for freedom: red in tooth and claw, royal white, and blue balls. Because the red pill is the new blue chew. Because I prefer an honest criminal to a lying cop. Because I can see the future and it doesn’t work. Because I can see the future and it is murder. Because I can’t stop thinking about that Vladimir Nabokov, author of the Lolita Express. Nothing is more exhilarating than Philistine vulgarity. Because Nabokov is a pedophile. Because poetry is for homos. Because standing in line is for homos. Because SNL isn’t funny. Because Get ‘er done. Because irritable mental gestures would seek to resemble middle fingers. Because hell is empty and all the devils are here. Because when the sunlight dapples in the lake, it is actually beautiful. Because Sea Peoples is just another word for beautiful boaters. Because Ba ba ba ba ba I’m lovin’ it. Because school is out. Because everything solid melts into the air. Because logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead. Because our values are under attack. Because they said Come and See but there is nothing on. So a rerun will do. Because the sound of a smashed monocle is the perfect rhythm to dance to. Because I love water-boarding with liberal tears. Because fuck your feelings. Because sit down little man. Because the customer is always right. Because I guess Diet Mountain Dew is actually good. Because reality is boring. Because chanting opens up new worlds of possibilities. But most of all, because they are eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats that are in there. So what are you waiting for? Get in there.”
MVP. Most valuable poster. Thank you.
Matt ❤️ can we get transcripts for his poetry?
Great to hear Matt's voice again. Made me a little teary. I'm looking forward to more poetry.
No Friday episode? Butt thugs have been dispatched.
Matt put the biggest smile on my face.
Matt Christman? more like Matt Christmas!!! because it's like, a gift that he's back on the pod idk man, leave me alone
Our big beautiful boy is back for good
love you all, chapo house trappers, but hearing from matt again made my day. i think there was a poet in there all along, and if there’s any silver lining to the stroke, it will be him finding ways to convey his ideas in that sparser medium
I was the 666th Patreon like for Matt's return.
So cool to hear Matt, thanks, boys!
Snaps for Christman!!!!!!!!!!
Hearing Matt’s voice was wonderful thank you.
Putting my queer shoulder to the wheel, America
Awesome to hear from Matt, loved the poem! ❤️
matt popped off when he said “waiting in line is for homosexuals”
This episode is not in the RSS feed.
I literally am weeping listening to Matt's poetry.
So great to hear Matt again!
does anyone know what article they were reading from talking about the Matt gaetz asphyxiation scenario? I just want a screenshot of the text but searching "cocaine and semen residue" unfortunately yielded no results
Also you should be able to tip prisoners alex legendary idea
Matt sounds great!
Hell yea Matt
Great to hear from Matt again. Wishing him and his family all the best ❤️
I like Matt's poem a lot. I'm not going to exalt it to genius status, but it was very.. satisfying. He's making a real point with a real point of view. And if he stole from Leonard Cohen and McDonalds then he stole from the best. But the two wholly original stanzas that stuck with me were: 'Because I don't trust your embrace. Because I'd rather sing YMCA so I can see where your hands are.'
So good to hear from Matt again - hope he's doing well!
Matt’s poem made me cry
Me too.
hearing matt made me grin and tear up a bit. <3
Poetry is for homos. Good thing I’m fucken gay
Well done, Matthew
i miss matt so much it was nice to hear him again
Alex and UTI talk nearly made me piss myself
Matt is a genuinely brilliant poet. Stroke has taken away not an ounce of his once in a generation intellect.
i cant wait for his book to be delivered 😳😳😳
Can we get a pdf of that poem
ok Alex was on fire in this ep respect
The auto erotic sex game bit made me just sure the straights need to stay out of gay sex, they don't even know what poppers are.
RFK is taking Vyleesi? I thought that was only for female hyperactive sexual desire disorder. Kind of strange for him to be taking a MSH receptor agonist when kind of famously John had Addison’s disease which caused him to appear Chito colored. Just not the spray on Chito color.
I used to live in Marie's district. It's almost entirely dumb suburbanites.
Because they are eating the dogs, they are eating the cats that are in there. Cushbomb forever.
felix i think that quote tweet assault got me into the show
Has anyone transcribed a copy of Matt’s poem or have a written version they can share?
Matt's voice put a huge smile on my face. Loving the Alex appearances he is very funny!
Matt's Stroke Game Strong 😤🔥💯
GET R DONE ❤️
Cristman—Ginsberg x Ramdas
lol wtf! Felix just said the Ginsberg thing! That’s a joke right? He didn’t do “all that stuff” right? lol okay yeah that sounds like a funny joke about art/artists. (I just listened to his Kaddish yesterday!) and Christman REALLY sounds/writes/feels/speaks poetry like Alan Ginsberg. Not like a copy or a rip off. AS GOOD. and in his own right and ALL THAT (stuff that he did 😜)
OMG that ending was incredible! Please so much more of this! Gave me the same chills Matt used to with his rants!
so good to hear Matt’s voice!!! nothing but love to the Christman-Rollo family 💗 thank you for everything you’ve done for us this past year Amber!!!!
Happy to hear Matt again, thank you.
Loved Matt’s strokes
MATT
hearing Matt again was a joy
True strokes of genius!
Alex would have been *perfect* for the Chapo Call of Cthulhu days. The no handwashing bit harkened back to when Felix turned down washing hands at the DNC, citing his “natural oils”.
Damn that poem, after a stroke? Hats off sir
Matt's poem is nothing short of the highest caliber of literature.
Alex jokes > Felix jokes
Matt is clearly our hybrid cylon
🫰🏻snaps for Matt 🫰🏻🫶🏻
Bob Dylan has never been seen in a t-shirt
Chris can we get a text version of Matt's Poem? The recital is very good I'd just like to go over it again more thoroughly.
Yo Matt’s stroke game goes crazy!
Alex eps always get me to click like.
Ik it’s fuck the fans and all but can you send my merch it’s been a month and a half
Anticipay ay shun…is making me hate
“Because they say come and see but nothing is on so a rerun will do” Damn
Banger of a poem.
Great to hear Matt’s voice
Alex is the wittiest guest. I still really want Matt back but Alex always delivers banger eps.
Those four years were a blur… literally! 🌪️
Can we get the text of Matt’s poem? It’s amazing
If you put on a hazmat suit, you can probably find it on the Chapo subreddit
Our beautiful boy and his lovely words!
Poem was dope af, Matt.
Does anyone know if they have to pay Sesame Street a licensing fee to use Kermit’s voice?
Voting for democrats isn't harm reduction, it's harm inflation reduction. They never make anything better but they make stuff worse a little bit slower
Making things worse more slowly is harm reduction. The real issue imo is the fact that libs are so pop-psychology pilled that they’re trying to apply public health frameworks to political issues
So happy to hear Matt's voice again. The poem was wonderful, breaking through to the real like before, just in another form.
I heard "they said 'come and see' but there was nothing new, so we watched repeats". I know this is inaccurate, but it's how i'm going to remember it, and more of this sort of thing please.
Rachel Levine is not HHS secretary lol
Huge love to to Matt and family! Our lovely lad is dropping bars!
Damn! The Batman vs Superman of strange women really got me!!
Amazing Matt. Some Leonard Cohen references I'm there too!
Love the LC callbacks, deeply felt poem reminds me of Peter dale Scott
“Sea peoples is just another word for beautiful boaters” put me the fuck out…
We love you parasocially Matt. It really is great to hear your voice.
Felix should do the right thing and quit public speaking until he’s sorted out the ‘like’ speech tick.
he’ll never find any success at this rate
“Waterboarding with liberal tears”
It's so nice to hear Matt again, thank you guys. I'm glad he's doing well.
Yessssssss Matt
My feelings on the new poem: Dilly Dilly
We need scoring for the Matt poetry and the poems should open the show. Our Values Are Under Attack!
Tip of the cap to fellow Deckerheads.
I can't wait to NEW RULES on Chapo Trap House!
Thank you for the poem Matt. It was awesome and we love you.
love hearing someone (not will) rail a line after they stop talking
Love the new segment.
DOGE is a glorified suggestion box
glucentcamp-perez sounds like a real post ww2 argentian name
All this crusades talk got me thinking of the best parody band, their albums kick ass. https://youtu.be/3Vn_jX9EjUc?si=H41mWLz0slTguoeV
My boy returns
Oh man it's so good to hear matt's voice again! I miss that big sweet man
I do miss Mr. Christman.
We love our Matt don’t we folks?
we loooooove it
Genuinely didn't see the argument coming that Kamala was the victim of cancel culture
Loved Matt's poem, and the whole hilarious episode as usual!
Alex is so fuckin funny man, God damn. "Which country is Gary Indiana"
I can do without Alex's incessant corny jokes.
Mean!
My boy Matt is back!!!
We all know it, Matt's stroke flow is uncanny and impeccable
“they said come and see, but there’s nothing on so a rerun will do”
Matt poems for the win. ❤️
Alex episodes are low key the funniest ones
Goated segment title
Alex absolutely killed it at 52:40 god damn
Give me head if I’m wrong, but didn’t chapo interview glusenkamp perez at some point?
i opened youtube to find the closing song and started to type "more skrokes" lol
So instead of doing politics, democrats’ solution is to do less of it
the banana lady is microtargeted at Slate Star Codex-type freaks like me who get off on industrial policy and railroads, it's so nice to finally have someone reaching out to me
along with say folks like my friends who effectuated the Rural Exodus and are doing small scale farming and agro processing and are in a war of attrition with the FDA
THEYRE EATING THE DOGS THAT ARE IN THERE
“Matt Mogs Gorman” shoulda been the title.
FYI the reason Harris put the whole "I support trans prisoners having access to medical care" thing in that survey from the 2020 primaries is because Kamala had previously chosen to go to court as AG of California to deny an incarcerated trans woman healthcare, and continues to defend that ridiculous decision to this day. (Kamala lost that appeal, btw.) So it was literally just an attempt at idiotic gaslighting on her part, typical "actually I support these things I have in reality actively sought to destroy." Especially since this and the many, many other cases of her being an utterly disgusting, detestable human being who seems to go out of her way to pick on the weak and vulnerable (her "joyful" cackling over locking up the impoverished single mother of a girl with sickle cell anemia who missed too much school from being in the hospital, anyone?) actually did come up in 2020, unlike this time. Dems basically ran their own version of Ron Desantis this election.
so sad
Jesus Christ Gaetz is like a V for Vendetta villian
I'm happy to hear from Matt, but I'm more happy to know that he's clearly been reading John Ashbery (RIP).
Got a recommendation?
Christman still got it
Matt as poet-witness to history feels cosmically correct.
Loved both of Matt’s poems. I don’t like poetry except for Bukowski and Matt’s got a similar mix of humor, sadness, simple prose, and insight. Looking forward to more.
something for the touts, the nuns, and [joke]
Matt ❤️
Lock in Alex as the third mic and then commit to a weekly Matt segment and Chapo will enter a second golden age
Hell nah. He is passable at best but to me he just sounds like an elite tier Chapo listener - nothing of the weirdness, novelty, or originality of the original dry boys
Thank you for putting words to our time Matt. Glad to have you back
It is so good to hear Matt’s voice! He has always been the brains of this operation. The poems really do hit.
Strokes of genius segment, we love it dont we folks
🖤🖤🖤
brief mention of Eastern Orthodoxy got me missing the good old days with Rod Dreher…
Yell about blood libel long enough, eventually there's a pogrom. Felix is right. Also, sorry, Felix, for the metaphor.
Strokes of genius made me laugh real herd
Will with the Verbal Flashbang. Stroke of Genuis
They said it would never happen but the boy is back 🥲❤️
This poem is so powerful thank you Matt we miss you
Matt ❤️
You guys gotta get up with Issac at coexist inc. he knew that chick from Washington state back in the day. He says she crashed on his couch for a semester.
Didn't expect the "I Need a Freak" needle drop lmao
where did the cpac EP go??
"so what are you waiting for? get in there." Great work from Matt
I love the Matt poems - they bear his singular insight, wit, and humor and the medium of poetry distills everything beautifully. Very much looking forward to more.
❤️
New Drop from M!!! 🦅
The J6 Choir really shows the limitations of Choral programs with no gay people. Sure ain't no Elvira.
Okay you gotta cut the new segment I can't start getting teary-eyed at the end of every ep.
Matt really elevates the show. Levels it up from a snarkfest (not that a snarkfest can’t be fun)
*snaps* Beat man, the beat.
Matt. Great episode.
Great to hear Matt’s voice again.
Also, Alex is always funny AF
Amazing to hear from Matt! Cheers to a smooth safe recovery!
The Jan 6ths song is that haunting song you see on the Retro Future TV, in the shot a pristine Oval Office that then pans back and shows the carnage of WWIII on DC with a Mr.Handy trying and failing to keep the remains of White House Clean.
Matt!
Is there a good book on how the crusades set up the mechanisms of slavery? Besides the Verge.
Love you, Matt. Hoping everything is going well.
I was eating lunch, lmao
Headline from like thirty minutes ago: “Ukraine fired several American-supplied longer-range missiles into Russia, officials said Tuesday, marking the first time Kyiv used the weapons that way in 1,000 days of war.” Way to fucking jinx it boys.
That animal biederman I cant even say his name, killed my 24 year old kid sister
Elon the Uncubus
I’m using my table saw while listening to this. Thanks for the jinx
Beautiful stuff from Matt
Election Post-Mortems are reading like: What if we use more triangulation to better triangulate our failing triangulated positions
Typical Democrat garbage. I think it may literally be more viable to run as a communist Republican. I'm not joking.
Poetry <3
matt the recovery goat.
hell yeah, loving the new end segment, and good to hear from Matt again. Glad he seems to be doing well.
We love Matt
CRISP MATTMANNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!
This comment goes great with your profile pic.
Perez ran against a literal ex-Green Beret white supremacist like its less her doing great, & the Republican party more shooting themselves in the foot as they keep running Joe Kent. This whole BS on openly saying you want to be the diet-Republicans is downstream the fact all these "Economically Conservative, Socially Liberal" assholes became Democrats after 2016 like this shit only works in generating above average midterms but eating shit every general election since these aren't real people who massively shift the amount of people voting, but they dilute the Dems to be milktoast as fuck and do nothing except BS like "AUKUS & Sweden is in NATO now"
Speaking as a non-American, why did the white supremacist soldier not get in?
Supply side progressivism aka deregulation something something black lives matter corporate social responsibility
Stakeholders!
The dismissal they all had of Health and Human Services is baffling to me. It's over the FDA and the CDC, they're putting the anti-vaxxer in charge of all the vaccines and public health. In terms of death toll of all the cabinet picks, that dept has the highest potential. I get that they like doing the dumb guy schtick, but that was egregious, was it just so irony pilled it went over my head?
I think a lot of people are assuming that the Trump cabinet/appointees will be so incompetent they won’t be able to get their shitty plans through. Personally I’m on the fence, but I could see Kennedy lasting like three months and then getting the boot. Don’t forget what the turnover rate was like for Trump Presidency 1.0
The Bob Dylan/Heroin thing is a pretty open secret within the music industry.
Indeed he admitted to using heroin in the early 60s and being very "strung out" on it in an interview with biographer Robert Shelton
"I can see the future and it is murder" - Matt christmas.
Quoting Leonard Cohen's The Future along with Everybody Knows.
Matt’s poem was amazing. So great to hear him again
Outro?
I have Adored every episode with Alex. He crackse the fick up.
Such great comedic timing
So happy to hear Matt’s voice.
Great poem actually.
it’s actually crazy how much of a genius Matt is
Matt appreciators meet here 😤
Awesome, awesome episode. Love the ending, love Matt.
Idk why, but every time they get Alex and Felix together they tend to bring up “guys they knew in high school.” It’s so boring, aren’t you almost 40?
gay
Gary IN as Ukraine fits very well. As a lifelong resident of Northwest Indiana it fits on multiple levels. Gary is the Donbas, an industrial wasteland while everything south of US 30 is a corrupt breadbasket full of inbred twits. Indiana is Ukraine for sure.
Matt 😤😤😤
Isn’t supply side “progressivism” just bill clinton ?
I'd rather have a criminal than a crooked cop. Was a banger line. (if I have it correct)
in this instance i would definitely choose the crooked cop over the criminal
Matt????? https://www.deviantart.com/dsa157/art/Beatnik-Poet-1050677094
Lol I take it Matt coined the name “strokes of genius”, yes?
We need to identify whoever it was.
Strokes of Genius!
That reading series was a new low of bird brain
<3 the matt poem segment wonderful, was lovely at the show
Matt continues to be the person who can best distill the Trump era in digestible but beautiful terms. Thrilled about the new segment
Can confirm our kid gets fresh peeled fruit at our daycare.
Do you use the table saws?
He's going to make a manticore
“come and see but there’s is nothing on, so our rerun will do” is actually such heat it’s unreal
There were so many in this one.
"Because Sea Peoples is just another word for beautiful boaters." I'm gonna have to sit with that one for a while.
senator mullen please stop making us watch gay porn on the floor of the house (stav cracking up)
"Bob Dylan has been doing heroin for, like, 90 years" is exaclty what you hear hanging out with MMA fans too long
Mike Prysner has done some good work on Tulsi Gabbard and her background. She really is an odd person, so she’ll fit right in with this administration. https://www.youtube.com/live/qV8vZa8LztU?si=V9kyFLq4soV18K4B
She is definitely annoying. Almost as much as RFK.
Yay Matt! Love you man! ❤️❤️❤️
Please, more strokes of genius
If Matt just swoops in as the Chapo Andy Rooney now and again, I would be very happy.
Jack Handey Rooney
I didn't realize how much I needed to hear Matt's voice, he has been sorely missed
Hearing Matt always brings a tear to my eye. Brilliant as always
Vivek was born in Cincinnati, Ohio.
He was born in Morrowind actually.
“Because sea peoples is just another word for beautiful boaters, because ba da ba ba ba I’m loving it” 🔥🔥🔥 Matt Christman. XXL Freshman 2025
I would love it if we got a monthly reading list of any novels, poems, short stories, articles etc that Matt has been diving into. I just want to try to make my brain as big as Matt’s.
Big Juggs Monthly (month) Issue
And so Matt returns as Virgil
Jesus let’s hope not
Will! Stop interrupting the funny guys! Everybody tunes in to hear them joke around, not to hear you read from the newspaper.
Wrong. I'm mainly annoyed when people interrupt Will.
I assume the table saw thing was about saw stop? While it would be expensive, that thing is basically like the invention of the seatbelt. A table saw isn’t an everyday item anyway, and they are expensive already. Do the regulation and save our precious fingers!
It has been around for 10 years at this point. Doubt it adds much cost really, especially if they ALL have it.
Matt's poems are fucking awesome. more.
Can a stroke make someone's brain improve? Matt's always had the best metaphors, mostly in the form of jokes, but this is on another level. I couldn't have expected poetry this good right out of the gate. He's our Amanda Gorman.
Great to hear from Matt.. Wish him all the best, what a gem
11:55 Alex implying that we just feed dogs and horses back and forth to each other genuinely has me breathless.
Ummmmm actually, it's 10:55 : - ) he's an all star guest fo sho. 13:55 about Vivek lol
"Because they said "come and see," but there was nothing on" stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Before the bombs start falling on New York and DC.” Not going to lie people on the left screaming about how World War III is right around the corner every time there’s the slightest escalation in that war are just as annoying to me as Liberals who were screaming non stop about the “end of American democracy.”
Yeah I don't really get the whole left hatred of helping Ukraine. I guess a lot of lefty people see American interventionism as worse than another country's imperialism, which I would get except for the fact it's Russia, and they're basically just a dumber, more right-wing version of the US.
Can someone please tell me what that picture is on the title page? Weird AF but also hilarious. Is that Michael Jackson and a Truman Capote-Bela Lugosi mashup?
That is a still from "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" a german silent film from the 1920s which is like, one of the first "horror" movies ever made (though that didn't become "codified" as a genre until the 1930s) Its got a really interesting look and feel for such an early film, if you're into like, film history I'd recommend checking it out
This made me quite happy, Thank you Matt.
I got Hand Foot Mouth from my daughter and it’s been fucking miserable. Haven’t been comfortable in my own body for almost a week. Matt’s Missive brought me that healing aura
Matt is in his Bukowski era. And I am here for it.
De ce dent
Matt is verse maxing. He’s in his Byron era.
Matt using the Chapo money to a build a warship before dieing in a naval battle against the Turks.
Toots of genius
God bless Matt
Matt's still got it. Glad to hear him back.
WE LOVE OUR BIG WET BOI
Thank you, Matt
Yes Matt!
pearls before swine
HOORAY MATT!!!
The main thing Joe Biden did for unions I remember is putting his thumb down to stop the railworkers union. It was probably a defining moment that set labor back 10 years when all he needed to do was get out of the way. It also revealed basically every single Democrat in office including AOC as spineless sycophants that would backstab their orignal supporters at critical junctures.
Followed 2 months later by a catastrophic railway derailment and environmental disaster caused by some of the same concerns workers wanted to strike over, in a battleground state, that Biden slept on and Trump capitalized on. Well done Joe!
Alex is a top tier guest host. Matt’s poetry is so great. Love this segment idea, can’t wait to hear his voice more again soon!
strokes of genius is fucking hilarious omfg
THANK YOU, MATT I'M SO HAPPY
Always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom
Biden really could be the one to find El Dorado because maybe the route to get there is like the Zone on the way to the room in Stalker. It can only be navigated in a nonsensical way that a dementia addled mind could perform remarkably well
Chris really went to him and said, "Get in the Eva, Matt."
Instead of whining he starts speaking in dooge.
Rep. MGP fucking sucks donkey dick for the pro-finger amputation bill. Speaking as a woodworker who’s had the enormous displeasure of being witness to a table saw accident. What a great treat it is to hear Matt tho! <3
Matt is like the cloth covered monkey surrogate, he may not be able to provide us with nourishment anymore, but we still come to him for comfort.
Alex was joking about Deus Vult in Hebrew, but from the NY Post: "Later on, while working on a series for Fox, Hegseth accessorized the cross and sword with some Hebrew lettering spelling out the word “Yahweh,” he explained." "Hegseth said the word meant “Jesus in Hebrew,” but official sources actually translate the phrase as “I am” or “He will be,” which is the name of God in the Old Testament."
was that J6 song written by Angelo Badalamenti?
Matt Christman: Let me put my poems in you
Matt.
felix sounds lIke he's locked in a bathroom lol
He been drinkin milkshakes.
The Biden of Narayama
they chaIned him to the mountain?
Can we get a bonus ep of Alex and Felix riffing on RFK2?
Matt Best Chapo
Matt has unlocked some Mark E Smith vibes there.
He’s a service worm 😂
This Matt poem needs to have Tibetan singing bowls. And call them Cush drops
That joke Alex made about Biden’s dog commander getting turned into horse food was a 10/10 sleeper. No one seemed to catch it but I’m imagining Chris laughing his ass off when he went back to edit the episode.
Republicans have claimed every presidential opponent since fucking Truman was a socialist. The dems only chance is if JB pritzker is as big of a perceived class traitor (savior, really) as FDR was. They’re not out of the game by a long shot though, they do have some democrat governors that look a lot better than whatever the post Trump people look like
Did Corey Booker wipe out before? I can't remember.
Has an estimate of when the book is shipping been posted? Hearing the bit of Matt made me want to read the book even more
Crazy how dems just see republicans and say, “well, they just won, we need to be more like them”
“I need a freak” is real bottom line of our times
The people who voted for Trump who think food prices are going to drop dramatically are the same people who thought he was buying them lunch when he said, “Food for everyone!”
Matt Cohenman
Donald Trump has broken his foot after he fell chasing Elon and trying to pull his tail.
"Deus Vult" is so fucking ham fisted and clumsy compared to "inshallah", Christians really need to stop
All the MGP stuff about how she's a political genius is hilarious bc she has only ever won against that crazy Joe Kent Nazi Washington Republicans keep nominating
Her, Reddit man, and Josh Shapiro all get called generational talents for winning layup elections against the most repulsive and electorally self-sabotaging freaks Republican primary voters can come up with
Matt sounded good! That poem was really nice to hear.
New Most unsettling riff unlocked
It's going to be even funnier when Russia starts exporting that trillion dollar lithium pile in the Donbass region to China and Elon is still begging for restrictions on EV imports
Confirmed real or riff?
Amber F is going to have to recant her position that all the good poems have been written already, Matt is out here killing it 👑👑👑
Go Christman go!!! Never stop that flow
ITS TUESDAY ASSHOOEL
8:36 Butts and poop mentioned.
Alex kills me every time. Loved Matt's segment. Great episode.
Matt Gaetz's father made his wealth by owning a chain of nursing homes in Fla. So, he knew about removing the deceased.
Awesome to hear from Matt. Great episode all around. Thank you!
HELL YES LETS GO KING
I'd give anything to hear "it's me Matt and Felix"
they’re eating the dogs?
Only the ones that are in there
“Replace Dem party idpol with what?” more gawdamn Neoliberalism of course
"Even a Clockwork Orange is right twice a day" deeply altered my brain in a way I can't describe.
The Return, when we need him most.
If the Democrats want to win they should imagine that the Republicans are leftest extremists because they are actually very good at beating anybody left of center
Marie Gluesniffer Perez
5 minutes in and will references TWO MOVIES, inside kid
They're going to have to a sequel to the They Them Zendaya episode after this one to balance out their karma with the ladies after talking about slugs in vaginas. That was some repugnant Scorch Atlas shit.
I decided to join the 4b movement after hearing that
"Supply-side progressivism" reminds me of Frank Card's signature policy of "Trickle-down diplomacy"
Maybe this is just cope on my part but I sincerely don't see Elon surviving the first three months of the Trump presidency once it actually gets up and running. They're going to have some sort of fall out where Elon ends up crying because Trump skipped some briefing on intervention into Peru for their lithiums mines because he wanted to go golfing.
It’ll be stupider than that
Felix begins speaking at 1 minute and 26 seconds
Is that the guy at the bottom Of the well?
It may be years away but he will come back and share his live thoughts again. I will be there boyyyy
Matt’s missive is absolute fire. So so glad to hear his voice. 😌. Great ep, guys.
I was half asleep listening to this episode, but did Alex really say Kamala was too stupid to find a real husband and even her dad didn’t like her and he’s Jamaican? I mean wtf? That’s straight JD Vance humor
To be fair, I do think she give Chill dawg a real run for her money in terms of "sheer negative retail political instincts."
The true ghoulvie screamset is Trump's cabinet 🤓🤓
egyptian lover ftw
“Pome”? “Rather” interesting way to pronounce that.
Pomes All Sizes
Music by Angelo Badalamenti.
I relistened to the final cushvlog again last night. Love that terrible truth.
Alex was disturbing.
He'll ya Matt!
Not washing his hands to keep his crusade lore accurate and die of disease
i love our new allen ginsberg matt christman. thank you amber rollo.
"because i prefer an honest criminal to a lying cop"
matt <3
What a dope poem. I will 1000% be buying a hard copy of Matt's book of poetry when it's published.
Don’t want to be all Reddit but it’s really epic to hear Matt again
Epic dolphin bacon that licks the llama's ass.
Biden is doing fitzcarraldo but he’s gonna build a segregated bowling alley out there
They’re eating the dogs They’re eating the cats That are in there
FOR MATT-HEADS: Will begins the intro for Beatnik Matt at 1:09:15
jumping to the end first, sorry non-Matt dry boys
Merry goonmas !
Transcendental goon rn Matt back all goon no edge 💯
Alex guest ep AND new Matt feature??? Yeah im thinkin the slop is gourmet tonight fellas 😎
I’m gooning rn life so good man gooning on one hand chapo on other Fr life is good you know what I mean
Cabinet of Bi-Curiosities
Matt!!!
😭
Gay
Sam
Kid rock
First from Australia lol
It's 6am for me rn lol