882 - Election Eve Live (11/5/24)

Good ole Cecil Hematoma

Forgive my lack of musical knowledge but what is the song the band plays to close things out?

Hearing Santa made my year! Thanks for making me cry Santa Christmas.

Christman Claus ... inspiring.

Hearing Santa Christman read his poem made my heart full. That was my bright star in a dark week.

Love to hear your voice again Matt!!

God, this was a banger, Joe Biden coming on, Will getting closer than ever before of pronouncing "Terre Haute" correctly and our big beautiful general Santa Kush sarinated us with a haunting but beautiful poem

Fuck it. Life savings going into Kaboomium.

Haunting poem

Grill-pill beat poetry hell yeah

Great poem honestly

This feels really comforting to laugh to listening to it first after the election

Gotta give him his flowers- Felix is absolutely vindicated for saying that polls are fake. Bro’s been saying it for years

WORST EPISODE EVER!!! UNFUNNY "JOKES". AWFUL GUESTS. YOU ALL DID NOT EVEN TRY, IT'S LIKE YOU JUST MAILED IN YOUR "PERFORMANCE". I FEEL RIPPED OFF. YOU SHOULD REFUND MY $5 FOR THIS TRAVESTY!!!

So happy to here from Matt!

Good to hear Matt!

Ladies and gentlemen of the Chapo, I do declare Chris did a great job recording and balancing all this audio for those of us that aren't allowed in LA due to gang related incidents. As a practicioner of the law and a man of intellectual persuasion, Matt, if your brain is a soup, it's a warm chicken and sausage gumbo or a rich lobster bisque; something that sticks to the ribs and keeps you fed all day.

Glad to see/hear from Matt. Hopefully he can come back to the show soon and lambast Felix and Will for ever letting that liberal snake oil salesman Ettengermentum on the program.

Who was doing Biden? He was fantastic!

Publish that poem somewhere!

This is fucking beautiful. I almost crashed my car. I laughed so hard holy fuck.

Love you guys!

timely use of Sanitarium

Love you Matt

All love to Matt! Now that the election is over can we please never hear from that ettingermentum doofus again?

Hearing from Matt was great but this show itself was one of the funniest eps in a long time

one of the things I love most about the chapo boys is that they fry their brains for us by ingesting right wing media and giving us the high lights ...... do any of y'all (us) pedestrians do this too? I have dabbled occasionally but it feels like smoking three packs of cigaretes

Love Matt

I'm glad I stuck around until the end

Zevon!

Glad to hear from our favorite large son

I’m not laughing and crying You’re laughing and crying

Oh my god oh my god oh my god matt. Brother. We love you.

What's the name of the song that's plays them out at the end?

So good to hear Matt’s voice. 👏

Bravo! Good to hear Matt and the band ripped!

This episode rocks

I'm ending my subscription unless you both stop posting on x.com

Been crunching the numbers all day and I feel confident saying Trump’s win is your fault. Who do I have to email for my subscription refund?

They did reverse Kill Tony. It wasn’t funny but it was because of that

Matt made me cry. Kinda derailed my evening workout thanks brother

Thank you Matt for everything you taught me blessings to all great pod

We love Matt

This Biden guy is funny as fuck, he should take the spot in Chapo left empty by Matt. What's he got going on these days now anyway?

Ngl, I was tearing up at the Zevon cover. (I knew about Santa so that didn't catch me off guard, but I love Biden covering Suicide)

Curious what Will or Felix have to say about Dasha Nekrasova or Ana Katchyan from Red Scare now being right wingers and selling out all their previous beliefs to join the tRump train. After months of growing frustrated with them, especially them platforming Tucker Carlson and Nazi eugenist Steve Sailer, I canceled my membership to them today after posting a heated comment. The next 4 years look very grim ☹️

RETURN OF THE KING!!! Teared up hearing Matt's voice

At 5:04, Will says huhbuhdababuh

WE LOVE YOU MATT!!!

Untethered from the pole after listening to the CushKing. God bless that fucker. ❤️

Christmas in November

Sooooo great to hear Matt's voice. Thanks for the show guys

Matt’s poem was so pertinent it made me get Patreon. Does anyone know if there’s a transcription of the poem somewhere? I would love to save it in writing

Literally crying over the final minutes of this. Fuck, man. As they used to say back in the Cum Town days, I'm gay.

Chat, are we cooked?

Joe Biden singing Suicide top 10 podcast moment for sure

Dicks out for Cushbomb

Thanks for the poem Matt. Thanks for the music Dan.

I must be a huge pussy, I just stared crying like a baby when Matt was done. Miss the guy a lot.

Democrats don't or didn't understand how much they're loathed by a lot of young people and most Muslim Americans.

Some of their most immediately-sour analysis yet.

We need your wisdom, Matt Crist-Man! PLEASE KEEP POSTING!

anyone else surprised by how coherent matt sounds? based on his tweets, i would have expected him to be a bumbling mess

lmao Peanut swung the election.

This was soothing for this shitty post election morning. Hearing Matt’s voice and musings helped a lot. Thanks guys ❤️

Getting the parasocial weepies. So good to hear him.

Let's just say this episode probably worked a lot better in person and not so much in audio format. I'll hang in there to hear Matt tho. E: ok the Civil War Suicide ending was worth hanging around for too

Warren Zevon for the win

Holy shit I just saw a dumb lib say the upcoming Trump admin will be the worst thing that’s happened in the country since slavery, the libs are in a dark place

Bless Matt Christman and his family and his poem 💐

Comedy Without a Net

Love you Matt, Amber and mini-Matt! Sending good para-social vibes your way!

I felt more normal in the minutes I listened to the poem than I have in more than a year.

so good to hear Matt again

What time does Matt speak? Don't have it in me to watch any more election content

Holy fuck, his mind has only been made more powerful by being twisted at a right angle to our dimension! Matt's still great! I'm full of joy.

lol I love how much Felix hates being Jewish

Funniest possible outcome now is Biden croaking in the next two months and Harris becoming President for a week or two before having to hand it off to Trump

Sup y'all, I thought Will was dooming the past few months looks like our big wet boy was spot on

Having Matt come out made me cry. I love our big beautiful boy

Fuck this country. At least Dan and Nick got to cover Warren Zevon

Morning after the election this is exactly what I needed

Would you rather: be stuck in a room full of Trotskyists accusing one another of being Stalinists for three hours or, die?

Will fumbled the ball harder than Harris by saying "Santa Christman" when "Matt Christmas" and "Father Christman" were right there

Matt sounding great, great to hear from him. Otherwise terrible show guys.

I'm actually laughing rn

Will was right :(

Lmao

Because The Internet (Freak Like Me) - M.C. Dr Gonzo once said, “When the going gets tough, the weird… the weird turn pro” Reaching into the darkness Weird connecting to weird Yet the weird needs a nucleus A pole for the tetherball to swing around Every action, Newton, blithely eating an apple, Has an equal and opposite reaction So what is the opposite of calling JD Vance a couch-fucker? Or worse, publishing that he drinks Diet Mountain Dew? Or are these already the reactions to Weird Twitter Classical mechanics in the pop culture war of the sexes The internet warping Newtonian mechanics into a quantum fantasy As McLunhan predicted, the TV has been transubstantiated into cool The influencer killed the TV star by recognition They tried to beat Trump with a finely tuned political critique But Trump is a cool media and we just wanted to be entertained The masses rent We have no stake in this decaying system We don’t have a slice of pie, so who cares what thumb it is It’s impossible to rise to the level of fever pitch loss When we don’t have anything to lose A voting sticker does not constitute a plum But in our craze to be entertained We accidentally split the atom Just because they’ve built it, doesn’t mean we share custody Unsatiated by weddings’ endless appetizers We are now haunted by Banquo’s hungry ghost Putting the Q in Banquo Telling ourselves a bedtime story but begetting nightmares Mutually assured weirdness has knocked us from the apple tree Normalcy might not [...] as fantastic but pays dividends We may not have patios but we still have our bodies Grieving the promise of the American dream, Bernie was delusion A Kubler-Ross cope, Turning and turning in the widening gyre We awake in the wreckage These things play themselves We bought the tickets, we’re just along for the ride Weird is infected with terminal alienation The right are the true radicals Being an outlier is not people power We have the numbers I sanctify with normal In the name of the football, beer and a little bit of chicken fry ⚡️⚡️⚡️ Yet JD Vance’s voice echoes into the darkness “Oh! Is a sportsball happening?”

are we not going to hear from you until next year or something

Actually crying hearing Matt's voice again

God bless Sandy Claws. Great to hear your voice Matt. ❤️

Is the bit to make we live in the zone part 2 matts official return because it would be nice to imbibe more of his ancient wisdom

Matt sounds like he's back. So in one way, the future is looking up.

Looks like Peanut got the last laugh after all.

Imagine losing to trump 💀

I hate it here, love you Matt!

Lmfao Trump won. Sucks to suck shitlibs 😂 😂

Good luck 😉

my wife pointed out that peanut probably got tired of watching his owner jack off on cam and committed suicide by cop, and could you blame him? anyway, the next four years is going to be so fucking stupid

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Enbies, welcome back to The Zone.

god help us all

Excellent. As usual I hear Matt and can't figure out if he is not making sense or I'm not yet understanding it. Honestly it made more sense on first pass than some cushlogs. Great to see our large boy flash like lightning. Soon he will thunder. Bless you and the patio of your body. This is a time to grill.

We love you matt

Santa :)

I wish I could listen to this

thanks matt!!

Is that Biden singing Born to Run at the end?

Christman!!!

Matt sounding really good, bringing a tear to my eye (almost)

wait is that Seth Rogen in the audience?

At least something good happened today

GOOD 2 HEAR FROM THE PROPHET🎅

Friends, let's take comfort in the fact that whoever wins the election, he or she will be a terrible president ❤️

Monsanto sounds like Ashley Schaefer from Eastbound – and I mean that in a good way

The video at the top of the show was superb!

Why are all of the pauses/audience reactions cut from the edit?

Where can I find photos of President Biden from this show

Matt timestamp?

It is so good to hear his voice

It had moments- they’ve done better work. Feels like Matt is going through a special kind of hell right now, the man known for pontification has had his speech stolen from him

the gag of "you can't understand what he's saying" sort of wears thin eventually in an audio podcast.

For anyone not there that's the real Joe Biden singing Dream Baby Dream at the end

Inexcusable late

Andrew Hudson = best Joe Biden

there better be a freshie foil pack with Schwarzkopf, a Highway of Death strafing run bloodied fatigue (game worn by a Fedayeen irregular blown out of a BMP, and a Prince Hussein rated rookie F16 card under my tree

Very disappointed in the attempted Hoosier accent. He sounds like Steven Seagal playing Ignatius J. Reilly. Terre Haute is pure Donnie Baker, RIP Fentanyl Cowboy Ron Sexton.

Matt Christmas Heads Rise Up 😎📈

Who played Biden?

hey look a new episode

Merry Christman, one and all! 😘🎄

Comments are some spoiling mfs

Christmas for democracy!

When I slop You slop We slop

Hell yeah! Fucking Santa Matt!

Seeing Matt in person was my personal Hajj

I was there. Matt came in with Amber Rollo and the baby. It was a great night.

Should I listen to this or watch this god damn election?

Can we get the text to Matt's poem?

you posted it after saying you wouldn’t! legends!

Santa Christman!

splish splash I was suckin guys off

Is it working for anyone

I heard Matt is in this one and he's gay

🍃🍃

sup nerds

chat moving too fast no one will notice that i’m gay

Thanks 🙏🏻

I think trump is gonna win and a nazi is gonna be our VP

Nothing like some good election profiteering!

Finally, some good fucking food

Nice work Chris

Fmirst

THANK U CHRIS

Oh, on god? Just like that?

Oh sick, episode 1 is my favorite star wars

Spoofs & goofs

oh wird

luv u mf's