840 - Tom of Finlandization (6/10/24)
Last week, we looked at Trump’s felony convictions and the various weaknesses that brings his campaign. This week, we turn to Biden world. First, Hunter is in court on federal gun charges, leading us all to learn about his bizarre taste crack music. Then, we spend the majority of this ep reading through the absolutely addled interview Joe Biden gave to Time magazine last week. How cooked is he? Can we make sense of any of this? How could we get two candidates this bad leading their presidential tickets? We discuss all inside.
Comments (176)
That needle drop breaks me
HAVE AMBER MORE OFTEN SHE IS REALLY FUNNY
I haven’t been able to listen to eps hot off the microphones recently (blame the 5mo old and his unwillingness to fucking sleep), but I want to put out here for any Chapo dudes reading this that keeping silent about any Matt updates feels too much like the way Virgil was sent off to me. Matt did nothing wrong; it was pure shit luck he had a stroke and a kid simultaneously. If it’s certain he’s not coming back for good my heart will break, but I want an honest answer. I don’t want him and everything he contributed to feel like it’s being fucking erased.
They mention him now and then he's just healing and recovering on his own time.
I can’t find any articles about US troops being dropped into Israel under the guise of a UN aid package van to support the Rafah offensive. Was that a joke or were they being serious?
https://www.aljazeera.com/amp/news/2024/6/11/nuseirat-anatomy-of-israels-massacre-in-gaza
How’s Matt is he ok? Also I miss amber have her on more.
yeah chapo without Matt lacks heart and heft... and it's feeling increasingly that Matt's podcast ingredient days are over.
Hunter Biden hitting the crack pipe begins singing to himself, “I wish that I could be like the cool kids”
Super funny ep. Definitely missing Matt these days though.
How's Matt doing? Everytime Felix mentions the Rubicon I ask WWMT, What Would Matt Think??
I wasn’t familiar with the band Hunter played during a striptease/crack sesh so I checked them out.. I’ve gotta admit that I kind of vibe with Hunter’s ambiance choices here: I mean there’s titties, relaxing music and getting high as a motherfucker! sounds therapeutic.
Felix’ Biden impression is like Abe Simpson’s rambling strikebreaker tactics: “The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have any white onions, because of the war.”
It made me think of the episode where that studio exec tells him how much he'll get paid for the Itchy & Scratchy scripts that Bart and Lisa ghostwrote under his name and he goes "Thaat's riight, I did the Iggy!"
If my dad ever went to trial I would testify that he would show up to white Sox games an hour late with our tickets, I would open the door to the van to show him where to park and just a bunch pez dispensers would fall onto the street as the police officers would be angrily waving us through the intersection.
Now I am intrigued, and want a young thug trial episode.
Imagine a world in which Felix had learned to speak without using the word ‘like’ every other word…
Hunter Biden is Kendall Roy in real life
For the presidential race but NY state experienced a red wave in the 23’ midterm.
CA might have something like that in the general. Adam Shit sponsored a Republican to lock out progressives in the Senate primary.
can confirm from doing a research project on terrorism prosecutions that gun charges are what many victims of FBI sting operations get nailed on, especially in the Obama era they realized it was easy to give a socially alienated guy a gun for "terrorism" and then immediately arrest him for being a drug user or convicted felon in possession of a firearm
🚨AMBER ALERT🚨
I could legit use this variation sent straight to my phone via the emergency broadcast pushes. :(
This might sound surpirising but in fact the US does NOT recognize the ICC or the ICJ, Biden is the first in a while to explicitly state that and to threaten it with sanctions
Had no idea that's so fuckin insane lol I wonder why!!!
w Amber the goat
Finns make great rally drivers 👍
Got him on the Gucci mane charge
You won't find a dirtier judge anywhere outside of Fulton County for real
This is such a deeply weird election there's just no calling it. I will say I've seen such a persistent dismissal of Trump's chances that really seems out of step with the fact that by most conventional metrics he's ahead. I wonder if the really stupidest outcome of this thing would be if we pumped all this meaning into every weird appearance and horrendous calamity and it all comes down to people being a little more pessimistic and insecure and voting Republican like Americans usually do when they feel that way. All that being said, I think lolling the voting public into complacency so you can get another bump from a surprise Trump win is great brand management and I've already ordered another batch of Chapo NFTs that are sure to appreciate
I feel like there’s a pretty conspicuous genocide shaped hole in your analysis of the mood of the “Biden constituency”.
Tom & Bunny Finlandization
Brought to you by Tom’s Trips
Damn I unironically love fleet foxes, hunter is real as fuck for that
I love how autistic Felix is for fighter planes as of late ❤️
i love that amber seems to subscribe to the nick mullen newsletter
Will went from “not voting for Biden” to Biden is going to win so it doesn’t matter if “not voting.” lol.
he's in a confirmed blue state anyways so I think both theories can still track
Amber gang sound off
We here
Biden's "I could take you too" comment giving me strong "Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!" energy
Can confirm that over 6 feet gets to smoke crack and it’s NP with us “females”
Wait, you smoke rocks, too? Lets party. and paint. I always paint on rocs
Fun fact, Tom of Finland was a Nazi collaborator during WW2 before his life as an artist. The official story is that he just loved men and was not political. But you can’t be a high ranking officer (which he was) and not be political; and we all know what Finland was up to at the time. I learned the story first hand from his sub at the Tom of Finland art foundation while there photographing his leather uniform being maintained. Subsequently, I put out to a private group an essay about the direct correlation between Old Guard Leather, BDSM and the horrors of war. How it was a path back to human connection for gay veterans of many nationalities as well as camp survivors in the U.S. and Europe of WW2 in the 60’s & early 70’s before it became a part of 70’s club decadence and “sexual liberation,” and then in the 80’s (AIDS) it became a harm reductionist way of being sexual and “safe sane consensual,” was born, then thanks to a couple of genuine psychopaths (PD and Ackworth) it was proliferated via the internet as a way for deeply misogynistic men to legally fulfill their fantasies and it evolved to what we see today which is majority plain old heterosexual abuse. Anyways, after that; I was made aware of the internet rumor (amongst NYC leather dykes) that I am “banned,” from the Tom of Finland sex garden (the place they host sex parties at their house); which I don’t think is true because his sub Dirk who runs it is too out of it to make the connection between my obscure special interest essay, our conversations, and remember basically anything ever… but I have yet to test it out.
Wtf?
“Go, or don’t, or stay here and listen Feist.” Lmao.
How come they used the same picture as the latest SsethTzeentach video on YouTube?
Maybe Google Tom o Finland and see what pops op
Love when Amber is on, good episode
“Another Wacky Disaster”
Ukrainian Gen X army adding a new meaning to "Generation Lead."
Amber was on point identifying Uralic peoples. Do with that information what you will. Also, crazy that she's someone's stepsister.
Felix showing his ignorance of Tom Of Finland’s work, and during Pride month no less, some so-called ally
Excellent choice of outro song, Chris
This is the only way I'll listen to Biden speeches moving forward.
Get rid of the historical baggage of "crossed the rubicon" and start saying "took the midnight train going anywhere". Like "Biden took the midnight train going anywhere".
😂😂😂
RIP KY-EL I know my dude smoked crack to fleet foxes. Also y’all could paywall felixs’ Biden. I would pay an extra 5$ for that.
Will's disinformation on LeBron James is approaching irresponsible
He must be held accountable
There's no such thing as Panama, Jack! Now, who's got the crack?
I can’t own a gun cause I got snitched on for 3 grams of weed when I was 18 in 2003
The clearest proof (among many clear proofs) that the NRA is just a bullshit mouthpiece for right-wing ideologies is that they stridently demand that domestic abusers be allowed to own guns but don’t say shit about drug enjoyers’ rights.
"1, 2, 3, 4, I love Crack more"
Finlandization (Finnish: suomettuminen; Swedish: finlandisering; German: Finnlandisierung; Estonian: soometumine; Russian: финляндизация, finlyandizatsiya)
Cool
You don’t have to be tall for women to find your crack antics charming. Being handsome and 5’9” also works. When i was drinking and slamming meth, I could be very charming.
Wow!
One thing Putin might have meant about Finlandization is Russia still occupies a chunk of historical Finland. Maybe he was trying to make a threat and Biden just didn’t grasp it, or did but couldn’t effectively communicate it in the interview.
Also Finlandization was a policy of the Soviet Union in which a country was domestically independent but essentially had no independent foreign policy. Biden is nuts but I understood this part
Latchkey kid army, let's gooooo!
I feel anyone who confidently says they love Feist, Fleet Foxes or especially the Weakerthans probably has a massive hog.
Definitely Fiest she can mush my boom.
Will continuing the line of a song/he is singing or parodying until he finishes it, but rushing and then stopping as soon as he's done, is such a me-coded bit
Hungarian too m8s for non indo euro language
That, Estonian, and Finnish are Finno-Ugric, so weird
A .38 Colt Cobra is the most Biden-ass, aviators & Corvette-type gun to buy in 2024. "The Crackhead PI" sounds like a Brace Belden bit, smoking rocks with a shoulder rig.
ruby-tuesday-con /095
Felix has been on the "wrist-grabbing boyfriend" tip for nearly a decade now, back to the golden days of Gary Tasteman and "Oh Sweetie Baby," and it's still true
fleet foxes + crack is how they made timothee chalamet in a cauldron
Chalamet is totally a Hunter Biden and a stripper’s fleet foxes crack baby
Finland? WW2? A hearty recommendation for SISU (2022)
i gotta go listen to that episode one again now.
"undecided voter" is absolutely a chapo listener
Really? I mean, I decided not to vote a while ago
Haha, Amerika is such a circus. A whore shares details of her encounter with an addict, who happens to be the presidents son, in a court of law as testimony in a possession of illegal fire arms case? Now this is national news, to be discussed at the dinner table. Haha, what a circus of a country - the Roman Empire in the 3rd century CE, truly. Also, these women make me gag.
You sound pale
What’s the big deal? I like to huff paint to mgmt
I was at third shift janitor in college and huffed duster to Garth Brooks in a ladies cubicle one time.
Will: "that was your Chapo for July 10th, 2024" Holy fuck they DID print this before it came out
Ok I need to come clean and say that I was a twee indie rock crack smoker. It was 2010 man, things were weird.
Also I’m 6’6”
Amber on about Jews completely unprompted within minutes once again. Literally every episode
Felix is Jewish and he gave them all the pass
Loving the ep- I will say I think the "old soldier" thing is mostly a standing military joke. I've been hearing retired combat vets talking about "eh yeah send us old guys back in" for probably a decade lol.
Great audio on Amber. Glad for those 40% of the words she was saying to get through.
Hunter is such a delightful little scamp, God love him
Banger ep
Hunter and Donald both convicted now. Hope they get to be cellmates, would be a great buddy comedy!
on the topic of sharks, long shot but I really hope you or mindofjson review this new film on netflix called 'Under Paris' that proposes the idea that if sharks aren't the real villains maybe it's blue haired woke liberals... lol
Is your avatar Fed Smoker?
This episode was wretched and not funny at all except for Felix's incredibly accurate statement about the three elections in a row being between candidates who are the only person that could lose to the other.
Damn dude, sorry to hear that
Elected judges man, the dumbest yokels on the planet and they've got your freedom in their greasy fried chicken fingers
❤️ Felix’s story about Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” DVD! I might’ve done that! The DVD player was under a pile of pants! 🤣
I like that Felix’s Biden impression has a bit of Corn Pop in it!
Lol Fleet Foxes is my favorite band of all time 😭😭😭
What are your feelings about crack cocaine?
Finnish indie rock >>>>>>>>>>>> Starbucks indie. Get you some Circle & Kemialliset Ystavat* and live for once (*an indeterminate amount of missing umlauts in that name, apologies)
Circle is really cool.
AIN'T NO RULE
Y’all are coping so hard 😂From every story I’ve heard Hunter sounds more charming and respectful towards women than any of these male hosts. But keep telling yourself it’s his height!
He has a huge cock
Sharknado but it's the rapture
I remember when people did this with trump interviews and rightfully panned his rambling incoherence. Really glad talk shows and the news media are on top of this now, too 🫠
[unintelligible]
We need to hear Felix cover the Thug Trial!!! Give my boy an ep to fill us in
Many are calling it the most Homers post card to Marge from the Duff Brewery tour Presidential interview of all time
Five dollars??? Get outta here
When I heard this before it came out, Chris completely laid me out. Don’t try it.
How'd you hear it that fast? What's your secret?
The my summer car-ification of nato
Can confirm, being over 6 ft tall is awesome
smoking crack to the fleet foxes makes me like hunter more
I can tell that Amber’s coin-boy story comes from a place of genuine hurt.
Yes when one of the coins fell off said boy and hit her in the eye
Felix bringing his recent obsession with fighter planes into every episode is becoming an increasingly good bit
Chris wade with that surgically-inserted pulp fiction reference 👨🍳💋🤌
Tony Blinken smiling from heaven at a bunch of dead ukrainian pensioners piled up in a field with "do it for the hoochie coochie man" in cursive
Theres 5 people in Finland and they're all extremely happy to be in NATO and think putin is scared because of it Theres gonna be a Scandinavian air force everyone, we're doing it, putin is done
This is a record for Chapo because I understand none of the references; even from movies Ive seen there are clips that are incoherent and obscure beyond memory. I love it, More Amber please.
Finnish language is related to Hungarian and Estonian
Uralic, is what Amber meant to say.
our august democratic leaders their wicked despot our strong intelligence institutions their state funded disinformatzkaya machine our mutual defense pact structure and free trade partners their subservient puppet states our strategy of containment their illigetimate soviet era land claims our force multiplying special force operators their blood soaked mercenaries
Our Lev Parnas, woke and very good vs Their Lev Parnas, bad and Slavic
Naming my dog Rubicon and jumping over him. This is a serious political statement
The song Helplessness Blues is about Hunter. I can absolutely imagine him listening to that song and silently weeping
Maybe if Biden gets just one more facelift everything will get better
They gave him a brain lift and now the wrinkles are all smoothed out
to be fair, if Biden did win that fistfight it would put a lot of doubts to rest. his mind is totally gone, but given that he keeps bouncing from all these falls, maybe there's still a bit of spring in him
The media should have staged a fake fight where Biden shoves a journalist to the ground, he would get higher approval ratings because he would seem strong and everybody hates journalists.
Would it have hurt Trump with his base if he’d banged Mia Khalifa?
Not with me, it wouldn't.
The Hunter Biden trial is some Seinfeld Finale ass shit.
You mean unfunny and unnecessarily cruel?
“I train six days, actually six days a week. Five days a week, I’ll train three days a week. One of those days I will train two days a week.” Joe Biden
This will happen when you lose to The Iceman
I'm willing to give people a lot of leeway when it comes to transcripts of extemporaneous speech. Most of them don't read well. A lot of stuff in the article I can squint at and make out what he's trying to say. But I am generally baffled by this one: "And you cannot change the market in a way where you flood the market by—ignore all Chinese government subsidies to undercut their ability as to deal with electric vehicles. " Does anyone have any idea what is supposed to mean?
Also this: "Did you ever think if I told you that Japan would be devoting 3% of its GDP to defense and make a rapprochement at Camp David with South Korea as an overwhelming threat that exists to North Korea as well as to Europe? You know, I've been able to put 50 nations together to help in Ukraine, led by us but also engaged with, with Japan's leadership." Japan and South Korea are an overwhelming threat to Europe...? Or did he mean they did this supposed rapprochement while the word was facing threats from North Korea and Europe from Russia? What do these two issues have to do with each other? Just like every time he tries to say the name of a leader or the name of a country he says the wrong one... his thoughts are more jumbled than a late period Bob Dylan song
so happy for me and the 2 guys who listen to both this show and also Fleet Foxes unironically
Well, I feel seen
We elected the wrong Biden.
true. i do NOT feel safe
I really enjoy the subtle digs at Matt Taibbi for his supremely idiotic tweet that, "We're really crossing the Rubicon with Steve Bannon going to prison." He consistently puts out truly moronic drivel now, but that one takes the cake.
Bill Maher was always cringe and terrible.. I think it was birth that happened to him.
Why is Brazil catching strays?
Cannot stand for this Lusophobia
sorry why is Will’s sound like this? has it always been this way? I finally have headphones that aren’t garbage, and now all I can hear is his voice fading in as he begins speaking and then out again as he stops. It’s like he’s being sloppily muffled—like he’s got an aggressive ambient noise reduction set on ‘auto.’ Really really distracting.
I think he just constantly moves his head around the mic
Putin says he has decided to conduct a special military operation. “I have decided to conduct a special military operation” says Putin.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/henry-kissinger-to-settle-the-ukraine-crisis-start-at-the-end/2014/03/05/46dad868-a496-11e3-8466-d34c451760b9_story.html
Felix merged his Biden and Ben Carson impressions
Ben Carson cancelled himself for Trump!! A greater love cannot be known.
Finland had some rad punk bands in the 1980s. With a rather unique sound actually...kind post punk and goth mixed with hard core. so there's that..
Yeah the Veritahroja compilation rocks, Bloodstains Across Finland rocks, Ratsia rocks, Terveet Kadet rocks for how fucking short all their songs are, Appendix rocks, Destruktions rocks. All good shit!!
An hour and 12 minutes. Ooh yeah, the boys must be cooking
My biggest hope is that both of them croak of old age before November.
"" "" old age"""" like Shinzo Abe.
Having to undergo the Seinfeld finale in real life has to be a worse punishment for Hunter than his eventual fines and probation.
poppers n slop tonite, boys
Hell yeah night shift boys
I think I’ll off all of my clothes and draw myself as a ToF illustration while listening to this ep
I know how you boys like em, extra sloppy!
Lady, you're scaring us!
SLOP!
Slop til we drop