828 - 59’33” feat. Alex Nichols (4/29/24)

The woman crying at the Columbia protest is choice

Alex was like Raptors Kawhi in summer 2024. What a run

Wait, how does this guy on bill Maher know what’s “reminiscent of Nazi germany”? Did his grandpa tell him what it was like

Being raised Catholic, they don't do river baptisms anymore they use full-leaded tap water that they say a prayer over after at least a hundred people have dipped their hands into... a freshly cracked bottle of glacier freeze is probably a more sanitary option to baptize with if we're being honest

Ed Gein - the Shadow Butcher......omg I'm dying

As a Space Cowboy, this episode offended the shit outta me.

I thought Felix was making Duolingo jokes when he says double XP. I guess he’s not learning Esperanto.

https://www.wral.com/story/organizer-of-viral-fundraiser-for-unc-frat-rager-creating-board-to-plan-party-give-to-charities/21410859/ John Noonan, the organizer of the campaign, Noonan, a Washington, D.C., defense consultant who has advised moderate Republican presidential candidates on national security issues, is a frequent commentator on defense issues on social media. He isn’t affiliated with any of the fraternities mentioned in the campaign messaging, and he says he organized the fundraiser independently. Felix, you got your wish. Lol

You know what it is, Chris, a Dry Boy mentions Hasan you have to know I’m gonna say get my boy back on the show!

John Cale’s BF Lou Reed wrote how the International Jew ran through Descartes to Hegel, the National Jew ran thru Hegel and Nietzsche.

Anyone got the tabs for that outro song?

Any reference to cognitive ability I say “person woman man camera TV”

Gotta love Alex man, wish he would become a regular in the show :)

Alex and Ettinger have been great semi regular guests

I love Alex

I got baptized in an above ground pool

LMAO at the white Obama of India joke

Please upgrade Alex to semi-permanent third mic. The increased diversity and frequency in guests has been amazing, but Alex kills everytime and the whole time. I love his distinct personality and the way it interacts with the rest of the crew. I'm never mad at hearing more Alex.

My favorite Trumpism that I still use: (After a coughing fit, or sneezing) “I’m going out like Stan Chera!”

The point of the piece 4'33 is that the performer does NOT get to dictate what the content of the piece is going to be. Otherwise Cage could've simply recorded four and a half minutes of bird noises and people coughing. That man is a music professor?? What a fucking hack.

Lol fucking Alex opening up with both barrels god damn

Love Alex he's funny after. Keep him around

Alex funny af

Love the John Cage outro

It’s been a while since I’ve simultaneously laughed and cringed, but that stupid bitch crying about the protestors not talking to her really did it for me.

Song at the end was a banger

I grew up in a rural area. It is not normal to kill and cook someone’s pet as a “prank.” Also no one I knew would so callously and needlessly kill a dog. Maybe my rural community just wasn’t filled with psychopaths.

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It's me. I'm buying the tents. Not even joking.

“No you don’t understand bed wetting, hurting animals, and setting fires is rural culture”

non exhaustive list of terms felix has used as a euphemism for sex: - clown - toon - strange -

Whenever Alex isn’t on the mic, the other hosts should be asking, where’s Alex?

Alex is quick with the wit. One of the best guests.

what is this ending

The older generation participated in protests, largely as a form of self actualization, as a way to prove to themselves and others that they were worthy. This younger generation participates in actual solidarity and feels no internal or external obligation to justify their actions. At least that’s what I hope.

Alex really is on his way to a permanent mic 👌👌

Trump has one recently where he says “I don’t know, I guess I’m just built different”

I also agree with remarks on message discipline and the Media Booths being an excellent tool to utilize. I reminded of Matt’s Inebriated Past episode about Upton Sinclairs campaign for California governor and the formation of the media strategy of seeking the most agitated or unscrupulous person and defining the movement around the outliers

"I've been walking around here for the past 2 hours and I am terrified" is very relatable to me. I also like to go into rough neigbhorhoods with my "please rob me" t-shirt, and wads of $100 bills spilling out of my pockets, just aimlessly wandering for hours. The terror is so intense that I sometimes can't help but lay on the sidewalk, and take a nap just to deal with the fear.

That poor dog☹️

Alex starring as always

Certified goated Ep!

Your son is a moron!

uh more like ‘Killing in the Noem Of’

manned spaceflight politics are so awesome because the nerds at Jet Propulsion Labs are always braying that for the cost of one ISS resupply mission they could send a probe to map out 17 different semi-viable solar system moons and a ground radar sat to provide invaluable commercial data to world agriculture and then there's always a Space Senator who says fuck you we need a human guy in space to do shape rotating for national pride because he grew up reading about Gemini in Life Magazine. The science is settled by now we know that being in space turns bodies to sludge, accelerating yet another Doctor in Plate Tectonic to orbital velocity isnt going to change this

I was gonna say something snotty about the lads not knowing ISS is being decommissioned but a) it’s not as soon as I thought b) they’re crashing it into the ocean?? https://www.npr.org/2024/02/21/1232639289/international-space-station-retirement-space-stations-future#:~:text=NASA%20is%20crashing%20the%20ISS,companies%20to%20build%20its%20replacement.

It's really obvious the guys are phoning it in at this point.

Sip sippin' on some sizzurp

I agree with Felix here, it's bullshit that we sent Captain Nagase to space when we needed her down here fighting Erusea. We need our pilots doing important shit like doing trench runs down the barrel of giant railguns, not floating around in the Arkbird with their dick in their hand. If Razgriz was there the day the Grey Men assassinated President Taylor it wouldn't have gone down the way it did, I can tell you that much.

does anyone know where to find the video of the girl getting the silent treatment from protesters?

titus andronicussing my neighbor’s cat

Great tune at the end

Brilliant episode, chaps. 4’ 33” at the end was *chef’s kiss*

He should be the new co host if Matt retires

Inconvenience is Injustice!

catholic souls in outer space belong to the bishop of florida. True story.

Alex on fire this episode

“Thank you ___, very cool!” Has entered my vernacular

ALEX FOR PERMANENT 3RD CHAIR UNTIL MATTY GETS BACK.

I’d be cool with Alex coming on the show permanently maybe. he’s smart and funny. Has good chemistry with the fellas

Egregiously long moment of silence for Orenthal James Simpson

I work in a boomer-intensive industry, and listened all morning to a few of them alternate between complaining about protestors and comparing their real estate portfolios.

Nice touch with the outro music.

Alex-haters doing a 4'33" this week 🦗🦗🦗

That dad prank story might take the cake for most fucked up thing I've ever heard shared as a funny anecdote.

I feel like "My class listening to 4'33" was disrupted by the protests outside" is accidentally incredibly profound, but not at all in the way that guy meant.

Outro is the sound in Chapo Reaper’s apartment

Jeez every episode with Alex is so good

Between Alex, Josh, and Amber, we are in a golden age of rotating semi-regular hosts, but nothing can fill the Matt-shaped void in my heart. Prayers up, king 🙏

LMAOOO god damn it this episode is exactly 4:33 longer than it needs to be

When Deborah Birx said she had "a low grade fever over the weekend" and Trump just threw his hands up, walked away, and said "uh-oh." I'm always doing that.

leaped out of bed like my sheets had an electric current when i saw alex’s name. it’s like when kd joined the warriors

Chris Wade is GOAT producer, this ep proves it

Rural Louisiana town under 800 people lived my whole life here, the only thing close to that is a cat that kept attacking my cat in our yard I had to shoot one time because it wouldn't fall for traps. But nothing like what Kristi did which is basically cold blooded murder. That dog probably would have made a group of kids very happy on a playground somewhere, pointers have awesome energy and are very affectionate.

I'm constantly trying to find a way to work "famously, so called weapons of mass destruction" into my conversations.

The longest laugh I've heard! Way to go Alex!

That Kristi Noem story about the cat sounds an awful lot like one which was in Jerry Falwell Jr's memoir and told a story about Jerry Sr doing the EXACT same thing to a co-worker he didn't like. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2005/02/28/here-to-tell-you Correction it was Falwell Sr's memoir.

Outro is lit

Big guys! That’s my go to

The gentle vape hitting

Literally almost choked laughing so hard at Alex’s International Jew joke. Just make him a permanent host already

The boys gotta interview lay theologian Justin now

Very post modern ending , outro song is very introspective!

not the smoke detector beep

I like recounting that cat story in your memoir like it’s some homespun tale of down-on-the-farm shenanigans when it’s a horrific crime. Jesus man

I nate silver and I'm starting to think that this whole politics thing is a bit of a popularity contest. Pay me $7 million to tell you who will win next election

patreon player time doesn't match episode time. Unsubscribing.

I could not believe what I was reading with that john McWhorter essay. Just like a cornered cat twisting around to reason about the protests.

Dear God is that Noem father story real???

always fun when a generation that couldn’t stop passing the clap back and forth between burning bras and draft cards think the kids are mad because they’re not getting enough strange

Alex needs to be a permanent fixture

rarely hear felix laugh like that, good job alex

The boys really ham it up when Alex is on. Yeah he's funny but come on lol

https://www.oxfam.org/en/press-releases/daily-death-rate-gaza-higher-any-other-major-21st-century-conflict-oxfam

So the music of the universe is tape hiss?

4:33 makes me think of the South Park episode where they’re sipping their own farts

Idk the “not enough sex” theory might be right on, as a great man once said “Its lack of pussy that fucks countries up”

the dead air at the end really did it for me thanks yall

One time there was a "4:33" performance for my 2nd music history course in college, without any introduction or explanation of the piece, and there was this awful loud old woman in there who complained about everything sounding "terrible for crazy people." We got maybe 4 minutes into "4:33" before this old woman stood up and said "NOW WAIT A MINUTE" and it was a top 5 lol of my life

Fuck!!! Forgot about that old ass goat!!! Better fucking blow its brains out. Hurry!!!

John Cage's 4.33"

First principle guys are usually chem trail guys

Unfortunately I am here to inform you that the Catholic priest's main job is not answering questions

Love how Alex can just deadpan a joke on here or ChapoFYM and just make everyone lose their shit "I dont remember the 90s I was lezzing out"

Under 3min in and laughing my ass off at this Alex guy. He’s good!

What’s the last 4 minutes about- what I miss?

And she was killed by… spaaacee juuunnk

Kristi Noem expert here. She published the story because our local CBS affiliate had the dog story and was waiting to drop it on her. She decided to “control the narrative” that’s the rumor in Pierre (SD capital). Anyway, here’s a gallery of every Kristi Noem dog meme. https://southdakotatruth.com/index.php/2024/04/29/every-kristi-noem-puppy-meme-so-far/

LOL episode title

Please have Alex Nichols on as often as you like, he’s so funny

Wtf happened at the 11:23 mark?

Beat off and now it's too late and I'm too tired to shower. Thank God for paper towels. Hope I don't wake up.

The international Jew comment wasn’t that fucking funny, make a new episode, this one sucks.

I hate 4 33 I hear it everywhere I go

the Australian War Memorial released an AI Gallipoli veteran for ANZAC day, and within 24 hours it went rampant (praising hitler)

The reaction to the Kristi Noem dog thing is really throwing me, I guess it must really just be a rural/farm/hunting dogs thing—Every authority figure, as soon as I was old enough to handle the dog chores, basically sat me down at some point and said that if any dog ever bites a human you have a *solemn obligation* to get them euthanized immediately because it is impossible ("Yes, IMPOSSIBLE," they'd emphasize) to train them out of it and their violence will only escalate, in the same "Now listen to me very, very carefully" way they'd tell you to like treat every gun as if it is loaded at all times, and then they'd share a tale of some kid they knew growing up who got mauled or killed by a beloved dog whose family wouldn't put them down after they started biting people. It's not a conservative thing, either—My family and teachers are exactly the kind of people Kristi Noem no doubt imagines are trying to kill God and make everyone trans. Fortunately it never came to euthanizing dogs for me or anyone I knew more than the name of, and maybe like dogologists have come to a new consensus about dog safety since I was growing up outside of Minneapolis/St. Paul in the '90s, that I just haven't heard about yet, or this was exclusively in the context of working/hunting dogs instead of literally-has-your-last-name pet dogs, but hearing everyone be shocked about this feels genuinely surreal to me, like hearing that this whole time you were the only person who thought you had to get a swollen appendix removed or stop drop & roll if you're on fire. Doubly so because in the intervening years it would come to mind occasionally and I'd think "Man I bet that'd really suck to have to kill your dog if they bite someone even one time, but that's the hard-won knowledge the dog experts have arrived at, I guess" but apparently it's not, maybe? Huh, dang.

Alex Nichols should be promoted from guest to full time Chapo. But none of this glorified crew shit. If he's gonna be a Chapo he's gotta get his finger pricked, there's got to be a sword and gun on the table. Either it has meaning or no meaning.

gonna have a conservative dream team of Kristi Noem, Catturd, and Blumpo Huckabee(or whatever his name is) going on a tour to increase the number of missing pet posters in American suburbs

Damn it, I listened to all of 4'33" at the end and not one obvious fart to speak of. And they applaud at the end?? Utter psychos.

Wait, aren't they forgetting "Bye bye" as their most used Trumpism? They literally do it every ep, and basically in his accent.

I hate the cat story so fucking much. What the fuck.

I don't know how someone can be this funny. Alex is just the goat

My Great Big God has risen again! (and yes, my penis is also named Alex)

The fact that the Columbia protests have been so successful in thwarting all of the attempts to undermine their messaging leads me to predict that sometime this week the ruling class will once more deploy Ol' Reliable: Barack Obama is coming to campus.

I 100% believe that John Cage would have loved Three 6 Mafia

We should be bombing rural communities where things like that happen, idk how someone tells you they did that with your pet and you don't pounce on them and bite their throat out

The fact that Astronauts don't do anything was like the main theme of Philip Kaufmann's The Right Stuff adaptation

Alex Nichols kills me every time

Every once in awhile there’s a story and I hope Chapo’s gonna talk about it. And then there are stories that I know beyond any doubt they’re gonna talk about, like Kristi Noem murdering two pets in one day

Once again I'm snorting with laughter.

bro is hilarious

alex goated

My phone says 59'34"

Alex goat guest every single time

Chat, I lost my job. Gimme love and support.

We ask for more Alex we get more Alex

Alex is so god damn funny.

Fuck greg abbott

Thank you for another Alex episode. An absolute GOAT.

Own the libs by killing your family pet

First