#5 [manga] How to Write Manga Even if You Suck at Art - Character Personality DRAFT

HI EVERYONE!!!

I'M SORRY FOR THE DELAYED UPLOAD THIS MONTH!!! AND FOR THE INCOMPLETENESS OF THE CHAPTER 😭

As you guys know, I've been in Japan this entire December and I had planned on finishing chapter 5 of the manga tutorial while travelling! I finished my storyboards during the first half of this month and everything was going well until we came to visit my grandparents that are living in the nursing home. They requested to leave the nursing home temporarily and come back to their actual home to spend time with us. Initially we were okay with this because we figured that we'd only have to take care of them a little (make meals, do shopping for them, etc.). We didn't expect to be doing full-on caretaking. WE WERE WRONG LOL

TLDR: I ENDED UP DOING CARETAKING (HARDCORE) (SAVAGE) (ULTIMATE) (REVERSE TOILET TRAINING) (COVID EDITION) FOR 2 GRANDPARENTS UNEXPECTEDLY AND HAD TO CALL THE AMBULANCE TWICE ON THEM BECAUSE THEY BECAME VERY SICK. I UPLOADED WHAT I HAD FOR THIS MONTH FOR NOW BECAUSE I PROMISED A CHAPTER BY THIS WEEKEND!! I HEAD BACK TO THE STATES IN 2 DAYS AND WILL BE FINISHING EVERYTHING AS SOON AS I CAN, THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE ROUGH DRAFT IN THE MEANTIME!! IT'S 12 PAGES SO IT'S LONGER THAN USUAL YAYYYY

(If you wanna read the whole story, the TMI starts here (warning: graphic), if you're interested in what caretaking is like, this might give you a small snippet:)

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It all went downhill when we went shopping for clothes with them and grandpa started feeling tired after about 10-15 minutes of walking. We did NOT expect him to get tired that quickly, and unfortunately the store didn't have chairs near the taxi pickup spot. A few minutes before our taxi was about to arrive, my grandpa suddenly said "I can't" and crumbled down onto the floor and starting yelling "help me". We tried helping him back onto his feet but he was in so much pain and was so heavy so we couldn't restabilize him. I called 119 (ambulance) and ended up going to the hospital with my grandpa where we discovered that he apparently has COVID (he did not tell us he felt sick). He was able to go home this night after receiving some meds, thankfully. However, because he was weak due to COVID (and his hips/legs were already kind of weak) he was NOT able to walk around by himself. Someone would constantly have to be holding him up in front of him (this is surprisingly VERY physically taxing) and there'd be another family member PHYSICALLY picking his feet up so he can move them forward. He did not have a wheelchair yet so we had to walk him everywhere, and since he'd take a while to walk to the bathroom, we encountered multiple "accidents" which we'd have to clean up. This was already pretty bad BUT IT GETS WORSE

We wanted to send them back to the nursing home but apparently you need to give them a few days notice before they can accept them back into their care. So my grandma and grandpa are still living at their home with my family, and we're all trying to avoid getting COVID. Of course, this was impossible because we needed to help grandpa do everything. All of us got COVID, including my grandma. Thankfully, my family had gotten vaccinated in advance so our symptoms weren't that bad but my grandma had not, so she got sick REALLY hard. The worse thing is, she has late-stage dementia. Before COVID, she was able to go to the bathroom without help and was very talkative (incoherent, but she was able to respond to questions). After getting COVID, she became almost mute, unable to respond to questions, and mentally deteriorated BAD.

The first thing we noticed was that she could not get to the bathroom on time. One night I woke up to my grandpa telling my grandma something in their bedroom, and when I got there, she had no pants or socks on. Thinking that maybe she left them when she went to the bathroom, I went out into the hallway and found a pool of pee in the hallway leading to the bathroom, and her pants and socks discarded there. Devastated, I clean the mess up with my mom and we also wipe her down and get her changed in clean clothes because she was covered in piss. We put her in diapers to prevent any further accidents, but since she didn't know how to use diapers (and refused to go in them), she'd try to pull down her diapers and pee on the ground. After multiple attempts of urging, she started to go in her diapers which was good, but that gave us a new problem - if she goes in diapers, we must change them...

I've never changed diapers my whole life and never intended to. I especially did NOT want to have to change my grandma's diapers - I felt like I was invading her privacy. I could sense that she didn't want us to change them either. But what other choice was there? My mom and I changed my grandma's diapers, and it was one of the most emotionally exhausting tasks I've ever done. If given a choice, I wouldn't recommend caretaking family members to anyone and would recommend outsourcing if possible to preserve the dignity of the family member, and to also not make the caretaker resent or be repulsed by the beloved family member. I'd imagine it's like changing the diapers of a baby but 10x worse because adults are heavier, stronger and the messes are bigger. Changing the diapers of my grandma required 2+ people because her body required maneuvering that an infant's body wouldn't need, and her skin surface area was bigger so it took longer to clean. The smell was one of the most unbearable parts - if you are in the situation to care for a family member, I recommend wearing a mask of some sort to protect yourself. The worst part was having to clean the private parts to avoid infection/disease... PLEASE wear disposable gloves. I just have SO much respect for nurses, doctors, and caretakers because they are doing such a profound task and it requires so much mental and physical strength. They are saints for relieving other people during their most vulnerable and helpless moments. If I did this for an extended period of time, I'd probably mentally break.

After grandma and grandpa had COVID at the same time, it got very taxing for our family. Since my grandma is old, she'd wake up 4-6 times a night to go to the bathroom and every time I'd hear something, I'd jump awake to make sure that everything was ok. I became afraid to sleep because I was terrified that I'd wake up to them being injured or there being a huge mess on the ground that we'd have to clean up again. The last straw was when my grandma called for help while lying in bed because she was choking on her own spit (she couldn't figure out how to swallow...?). We called 119 on my grandma because we could NOT take care of her any longer. When the ambulance arrived, they said that they were unable to admit my grandma to a hospital for COVID (because lots of hospitals are understaffed. I guess current protocol is to give COVID patients medication and send them home). My mom unleashed her inner Karen and was able to urge a local hospital to help care for our grandma, thankfully. Two days ago, we were finally able to get my grandparents to go back to the nursing home and get the PROFESSIONAL help they needed (we should have not been caring for them in the first place if they were this bad). They are now VERY well taken care of in their nursing home, and they sound/look a LOT healthier and we are overjoyed and so grateful that these systems exist to help our family members.

I went really in depth with describing this whole experience because honestly, some part of me underestimated what it was like to be a caretaker. I thought I'd be fine and that I could handle taking care of my beloved grandparents for a few days. But when I was thrown into the moment of having to caretake, reality hit me very hard and now I have a deeper respect for everyone in the medical field and the tireless work they do to keep our family members healthy. Unfortunately, I don't think I have it in me and I've sworn off all caretaking for future family members. As for takeaways, I am truly grateful for my healthy body and I will try to maintain it for as long as possible. I am doing better, but still not taking care of my body to the best of my ability and I need to keep trying. I've also decided that I do not want to live a long life if I'm not healthy because it doesn't look enjoyable (for me) and I'd rather not suffer for long periods of time or let the people around me suffer as a result. I've been thinking about euthanization a lot. I hope I can pass away in my sleep or be isekai-d by a truck or something when it's time LOL!!

I hope this wall of text was helpful/interesting/entertaining for anyone who read through it. It was therapeutic documenting all of my thoughts during the second half of this month. Again, sorry for the delay in uploads, I barely had any time/energy/sleep o/--< I am doing better now after a days rest though so I'll talk to you guys when I'm back in the US, I'M SO EXCITED TO GO BACK!!!

Talk to you later,

Mieri