Dispatch no. 45 - Updates Podcast

Oh I think you’re awesome! I’m a mother of a queer daughter who’s getting married this year. Your comments about aiding your children if you can was very telling. She’s asked me to be her Mom-of-honour so I must be doing something right! Much love from Canada. Your work is a highlight of my week. xo

I’m a new subscriber so hello! Where I live in rural England house prices are ridiculous so it seems mad that houses that close to NYC are affordable, but maybe it’s just relative to city prices. Also as a perpetually weak and unathletic person I would strongly recommend pilates and weight training for easing into improving fitness. Also also your cats are adorable

Love the hair update!!!!. To keep anonymity in home ownership you may want to register an LLC through an attorney if you put it under your own name, it'll show up under tax collector or property appraiser websites and still creep accessible.

I think you'd prefer Tassie if you did visit Australia one day. It'd be much cooler and we even get snow on the mountains. Compared to America Australia is younger yes, but Tasmania was first settled in 1803 so there a plenty of old buildings to tour and we have MONA (Museum of Old and New Art.) I mostly like living here in Tassie because in one direction I can see rolling hills and bushland and the other direction the wide blue ocean.

Awesome job taking such a good vacation you forgot to do a work task!! You deserved a break! As a patron, my mindset is that I want you to be able to have sick time and vacations just like anyone with a 9-to-5 corporate job. I love knowing that I'm helping someone live their dream and I want you to be healthy doing it! 💜 Also, as an introverted asexual sewing nerd who also loves cats and Victorian houses, I would LOVE to hang out with you if we were ever in the same place IRL! I have suffered from similar thoughts that everyone just thinks I'm annoying, but I've come to learn I have ASD, one aspect of which (for me) is rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I'm still working through it, but I finally have hope at 35 that someday I'll be able to dismiss those intrusive thoughts without feeling the inner panic. I wish you all good things in the coming year! Say hi to your fur babies!

You mentioned wanting to work out. One nice thing about living in the northeast, is that there are usually lots of ice skating rinks!⛸️ Glad to hear you are being cautious with your online privacy as you house hunt. That's critical. Hugs to you and your family/kitties!

I irrationally fear that people find me annoying or unlikable too. I am also very introverted. In my mind, all of our friends are my husband's friends, and if he died they would all lose interest in me. If that were to happen, I would probably withdraw rather than risk rejection. I recently melted down because I really wanted to learn something difficult (for me) and I felt betrayed, ashamed and rejected by the instructors, even though I knew logically they were doing their best. Then I found out about Rejection Sensitivity Disphoria (my hubby is amazing) at age 54! Just knowing its a thing and this belief is NOT true has really helped. One classmate and an instructor helped me push past it. It took 3 classes before I stopped tearing up (im still masking so that helped), Knowing that my belief they would dispise me was untrue was such a relief.... I remember in my teens saving all my birthday cards to convince myself that I had friends. Over many years I learned coping strategies, some good (being independent and self motivated, getting a job, joining a committee organizing a convention in order to connect with new people with similar interests), some less so (avoiding initiating activities with friends to avoid rejection). I'm still learning new ways to "hack" my brain and have a fulfilling life in spite of anything (including myself)! So sending you a big electronic hug, and glad that you have the courage to share this corner of your life with us.

Friends of mine live in Collingswood NJ - beautiful place, check out houses there, as well as cheapoldhouses.com!

It's lovely to hear from you, and, like others here, I'm glad you had a complete enough break that you forgot to post for a week! Honestly, I don't think you're spoiled re. your parents; I think everyone should have parents like you have. <3

Happy New Year! Wishing you luck on your house hunt. I live in Georgia in the Atlanta area and love, love, love it here! Been here 23 years. But, privilege. So, I get it. I'm a blue human proudly helping to turn this state around one transplant at a time. Born in California, but yeah, the prices! Lived in PA and Maryland. Wouldn't go back to PA, but loved Maryland. Also, used to be a therapist (bailed out of that profession for many reasons), so yeah, definitely encourage you in that arena. Online is always a good option, and I believe it's been where the profession has been headed for many years. In person can be good too, just additional dynamics at play.

I think sharing the videos from here to help you out is a good idea. You need to devote time to what brings you closer to whatever goal you working towards. I'm surprised your parents want to move to NC for warmer weather, it's super cold there lol but then again it's hot as Hades in the summers so definitely at least 2 seasons. Good luck with everything ❣️

I maintain that if you've forgotten what day of the week it is, your vacation has reached peak effectiveness. Forgetting to post a podcast seems like an overachiever's way of leaning into relaxation 💯🏆

You might want to do some research into gift taxes. (as in I don't know that your dad can sign the car over to you without some taxy repercussions, but I am in no way a tax expert) Also as a queer person living in a red state, I completely understand location scouting. My state is right next to your state, and your state is looking awfully attractive right now.

How about an on-line live housewarming party for Patreons? When we decided to move 4 hours north to Yorkshire (I know, not much for you Americans but a fair way for us Brits!) the first thing I checked for was a well-regarded local vets 😀

I have a friend in Rhode Island, you might look there. It's blue, and beautiful, and I think housing is fairly reasonable.

I can understand you wanting to live in a blue state as far as politics is concerned. I grew up in New York within an hour of NYC and the safety of that is something I miss now. Since leaving New York I have lived in red states and while I'm privileged and feel safe most of the time, there is a level of what are they going to do next. I am also a married woman so some of the safety I feel is due to having a husband. Again privilege. If I could I would have a house in NY just in case of emergency. Hope all your plans work out this year. Given your love of spooky season have you considered Sleepy Hollow, NY?

Great idea to share the past patreon vids. I can only see those vids on my phone, but can watch the regular channel on my TV. Don’t ask 😉

Happy New Year! It was good for you that you had your down time. I'm sure no one minded you taking a break; everyone needs at least one every year. I would definitely hang out with you. We have at least two interests in common, cats and fabrics. I am also an introvert, so.... At the risk of sounding like a mom, I'm sure you will make plenty of real friends after your move. As a POC, I totally get your reluctance to move to anywhere in the South. It is very sad and shameful that, for myself and many in this country, politics has become such a huge factor in where we can safely and peacefully live. Anyway, looking forward to your videos this year, and I hope you find a home that has everything you need and want in the perfect location.

I don't think living at home is weird at all, but maybe cause I also moved out at 28 (I came back after my studies) and the only reason I left was because I got sick of the commute to work every day (3 hours each way if the public transport was kind to me, I live in the Netherlands so thankfully there is public transport here) so I have now been living on my own for about a year and a half, thankfully it's a tiny country so my family is never far and my sister lives only half an hour from me, but still, I keep myself sociable with calling my mom almost every day who just puts me on speaker so I can talk to my father and brother as well. It's still the best decision I could have made though, I love living on my own. And I really really love my work so that also helps. I do hope we get to see a little of your house-hunting craziness, even if it's just the ones that you don't end up taking. Will all 3 of the fur babies go with you? because if you have cats you're also not alone because they keep you busy constantly, especially if you're the only human who can give them attention. I also get what you mean with the confidence thing, I am also of the mindset everyone is too cool for me and rather do anything else than hang out with me. So I got myself placed on a waiting list for some mental health assistance, hopefully it will help. I can't wait to see what you have done to that purse, it sounds very exited and now I will end my novel and let you go back to important things.

I'm glad you got some proper down time over Christmas, i don't think any of us minded a bit of a delay. Understand your need for privacy but I do hope you find a way to share your house hunting adventures. Ps I like the green streak! No thoughts of keeping it for other fun colours?

I would love to hang out with you. I find you very interesting and funny. I’m sure you will find lots of interesting people when you get settled in your own place. It can be hard for introverted adults to meet people in a new place. I moved and was on my own at 33. I decided to pick a hobby and stuck with it and that’s how I met people. (Fly fishing because all my other hobbies are single person art related. And I could still be on my own if I had had enough people-ing) You do seem very confident and I admire that. I think you are awesome.

Sometimes I hate my body waking me at stoopid o'clock in the morning with random bouts of nausea (happy new year, folks! 😆) Tonight? Not so much - Nice to have a bit of company *waves*