"The Worst Of All Possible Worlds"

Hey everybody!

For our five year anniversary, I decided to take a page out of the damp notebook of Dr. Samuel Bultch, D.D.S. and rewrite some lyrics to a song. While I cannot live up to the good doctor in terms of w(h)it, I am deeply proud of that Garrett trick rhyme near the end there. Here's to another five years of inscrutable bits.

-The Worst of All Possible A.J.'s

"The Worst of All Possible Worlds"
Music by Leonard Bernstein
Lyrics by A.J. Ditty

Briangloss:
HOW TO REVIEW
FIVE YEARS OF PODCAST?

Josh and A.J.:
HAT FULL OF GOO
CALL IT AN ONGS-CAST

Briangloss:
ONCE ONE DISMISSES
THE FIRST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS
ONE FINDS THAT THIS IS
THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS

Josh and A.J.:
ONCE ONE DISMISSES
THE FIRST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS
ONE FINDS THAT THIS IS
THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS

Briangloss:
PLEASE CLARIFY
HWHAT’S IN THE CORNER?

Josh:
HORSES I SPY!

A.J.:
THEY MAKE ME HORNT, SIR!

Briangloss:
THERE IS A DADDY
FOR ANYONE WILLING TO SCRUB

A.J. and Josh:
THERE IS A DADDY
FOR ANYONE WILLING TO SCRUB

A.J.:
OBJECTION!
GOKU INFLATES!

Briangloss:
INFLATES!
T’WAS FRIEZA TEMPTED GOKU-SAN
WHO WAS SO LARGE AND FULL OF PRAWN
THAT THOUGH HE’D ENOUGH
HE MIGHT BE STUFFED
WITH ONE MORE MASTICATION

Josh and A.J.
(TO LEAD TO MORE INFLATION!)

Briangloss:
HAD GOKU NOT BIT DOWN AGAIN
AND CONTINUED HIS DILATION
THE THREE LADS COULD NOT COVER ALL
OF THAT SUPER SAIYAN LOVER BALL
AND GOD HELP THE ONE WHO POPS IN

All:
NOW ONTO DOCTOR DOBSON.

Briangloss:
MEN FOLK ARE SPRY
WOMEN ARE JOGGERS

Josh and A.J.:
WHEN THEY RUN BY
YOUNG MEN GO POGGERS!

Briangloss:
MEN THEY HAVE THIRST IN
THIS WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS-

Josh and A.J.:
IT’S FOR THE WORST IN
THIS WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS.

Josh:
OBJECTION!
HWHAT ABOUT THIEF?

Briangloss:
THIEF…
THOUGH THIEF MAY SEEM TOO DIM TO SOME
WE’VE COME BACK NOW TO BEAT THE DRUM
THAT WITH GAMMA RAISED
YOU’D BE AMAZED
AT THE DARK TO LIGHT CONVERSION

Josh and A.J.:
(THOUGH IT MIGHT BREAK IMMERSION!)

Briangloss:
TRUE GAMERS WILL MAKE EVIDENT
THAT WHILE ON THEIR EXCURSION
TO SEE WHAT MAKES OLD GARRETT TICK
IS COMP’RABLE TO HERETIC
THUS THIEF HITS OUR PLAY QUOTA

All:
NOW ONTO RAY LIOTTA!

Briangloss:
BOERMAN, VOLTAIRE
AJ, BRIANGLOSS!

Josh and A.J.:
BOERMAN, VOLTAIRE
AJ, BRIANGLOSS!

Briangloss:
PROVING WITH GUSTO
THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS
EVERYTHING MUST GO
THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS

Josh and A.J.:
PROVING WITH GUSTO
THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS
EVERYTHING MUST GO
THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS!

Briangloss:
QUOD ES MAXIMUS PORCUS!
IT’S THE PIG!
BOERMAN, VOLTAIRE
QUOD ES MAXIMUS PORCUS!

Josh:
(Simultaneously)
QUOD ES MAXIMUS PORCUS!
IT’S THE PIG!
BOERMAN, VOLTAIRE
QUOD ES MAXIMUS PORCUS!

A.J.:
(Simultaneously)
QUOD ES MAXIMUS PORCUS
IT'S THE PIG!

All:
QUOD ES MAXIMUS PORCUS
IN THIS WORST OF ALL
POSSIBLE POSSIBLE POSSIBLE WORLDS!

QUOD ES MAXIMUS PORCUS
IT’S
THE
PIG!!!!!

(end.)