New video! Inside the Marriage Wars
I hope you didn't have any plans for today, because a new video is going live and it's ... wait, this can't be right. OVER FIVE HOURS LONG???
Yes indeed, it's a five-hour epic about the road to marriage equality, and how I found myself caught up in a legal battle pitting Rob Reiner against Arnold Schwarzenegger. And you can get a head start on the journey with early ad-free access!
If you'd asked the average person in the 1980s if the director of When Harry Met Sally and the guy who played the Terminator would play a major role in legalizing marriage for same-sex couples, they would probably have said … probably not! And yet, in 2012, I found myself heading to Rob Reiner’s house to lend a hand with a lawsuit that would, in no small part, determine the future of same-sex marriage.
We'll be doing a pre-premiere livestream and a live watch-along of the video starting today at 11am pacific and noon pacific. Hope you can join us for at least some of that!
As you can imagine, this one's been in the works for QUITE a long time, and we wanted to make sure it had the polish it deserves. I'm so excited to finally get it out into the world for you!
Backup link in case the video embed doesn't work: https://youtu.be/F872-dOYvL0
Comments (23)
OMG, Matt -- how did I miss this one until now (2+ months late)? And why did I find it at roughly midnight?!? I have watched and rewatched 8 roughly a dozen times over the last dozen years. I had no idea you were so integral to it's production. Thanks for so beautifully telling this story and for helping to elevate the legacy of Rob and Michelle Reiner. Oh look at that... I've run out of Kleenex.
My wife and I (also a woman) just finished watching this video together after watching it a little each night after our toddler was in bed—fittingly, your final thoughts were said while fourth of July fireworks were visible outside of our window. At the time of the Obergefell ruling, I thought I was straight. I was happy about it, but didn’t think it applied to me. It was only later when I fell in love with my wife that I realized I had never been straight. As we talked through whether we wanted to get married and what it would mean to be married, I read a book on the laws around love and came to the conclusion that there was no other equivalent legal framework to marriage. I’d always been skeptical of it (feminist that I am), but we decided the only way our child would be protected was if we were married. And then found just how goddamn good it felt to refer to the woman I’d been dating for years, that I lived with, that I was having a child with, as my wife. Thank you so much for this important history of the many people who fought to give me that right. In this time, it feels so easy to throw my hands up at all of politics. I’ve often wondered if there was something different about the people who worked in political movements that made them able to do that. What this video shows over and over is that change is made by people who raise their hand to do something no one else is offering to do, by people who show up having no idea how they can help, and by people who experience something that cannot be borne and must be fought. That is a galvanizing thing to hear. The fight will go on.
Very glad you enjoyed the video! I think a lot of people will recognize your experiences ... making changes to the way we identify, and being surprised by the legal systems that we want to enter into for our protection.
Thank you for this video 🥲💙 Loved hearing your personal experiences and perspective.
A magisterial study of the fight for marriage equality. I remember following in the gay press this long process as it unfolded. I watched your video over several days to make sure I understood everything. Excellent documentary!
Bravo!
I just subbed after watching this. I've loved watching Matt's videos for years watching shows I am fond of being reviewed from a different perspective til eventually I just love watching Matt talk about these things even if I've never watched the show. I never knew Matt was so involved, good man. I am sure Matt has a very long list of shows and topics for videos but being from Ireland there was one episode I was very surprised to see on Irish TV and made by RTE and the BBC. The shows Creator Brendan O'Carrol plays Mrs Agnes Brown, an elderly widow. At the start of the series Mrs Brown is oblivious to her son Rory being gay but in the fifth episode. She's very confused as to why he isn't bringing a date to his brothers wedding He doesn't come out to her as much as her daughter Cathy brings her around to the realisation and she lets him know she loves and accepts him. I did particularly enjoy Cathy trying to explain that Rory is a friend of Dorothy for Mrs Brown to respond "Why can't he bring Dorothy then?" But that's not the episode that surprised and delighted me. In season three episode six Rory is marrying Dino. Some of the off screen family members are alluded to not be understanding but they main cast are all on board. Trevor her youngest son is a priest and when he stops by it is after running into the local priest Father Quinn. Agnes asks Father Quinn to arrange a blessing for the marriage. Father Quinn is uneasy and begins to explain he can't. She says he knows he can't marry them in the church but a blessing is surely different but Father Quinn seeming embarassed and regretful explains he's not allowed. Agnes is not happy and makes it known in a short but pointed dressing down challenging him to show her anywhere in the bible where Jesus "refused to sanctify love". Agnes is old, she might not always have the right words but this time she is clearly framed as in the right. When the reception after the wedding is being had Father Quinn shows up and apologetically explained that while the church can no acknowledge Rory and Dino's love he was happy to. This episode was released in 2013, two years prior to the marriage equality referendum where 62% of those who voted chose to amend our constitution to state that "Marriage may be contracted in accordance with law by two persons without distinction as to their sex." That's not a small margin, I've got older family members who were nervous and unsure with all of the fear mongering and misinformation being thrown around but now I know generally they're way more accepting of LGBTQ+ issues, acknowledging that nonsense was being peddled. The sky didn't fall, to quote my mother now "If two adults love each other good for them. It's not any of my business." The only way that gets removed from the constitution now is with another referendum and since the sky didn't fall I think that number would be much higher than 62% if done today but I do think the people making Mrs Brown's Boys helped bring people around to it two years before it went to the polls.
Oh I wasn't familiar with this one, thank you! Adding it to my list to check out.
Watched this on YouTube and found myself often tearing up. It’s so special to see this through your eyes too, Matt, in those clips of baby filmmaker Matt. Thank you for this. Amidst all of your work, which is so inspiring, this will become The One, in my opinion. I’ll be referring others to this if they have questions!
This was amazing loved it. As someone who lived a different marriage equality journey ( I’m in Australia) was really interesting to know the American experience. You did such a great job loved the interviews you did with the couples. How amazing you met Rob Reiner and wife Michelle their murder was such a tragedy such amazing allies. Thank you for all you do proud to support you on Patreon
I agree! I got teary often throughout this video, and then thought it would be interesting to compare this to the Australian experience, and the uncertain permanence of our rights.
I watched the livestream all Sunday afternoon. Bravo! This is a tour de force Matt. I always enjoy your work, and this was offering was fascinating, entertaining, informative and historic. I'm so thankful that you created it.
Great work Matt! I was planning to only watch the first 30 mins and comeback to it … I watched the entire video. Just one teeny tiny correction: (51:40) Queen Latifah wasn’t a creator of the show Living Single, but she and Kim Coles select Yvette Lee Browser to create the show for them because they were all clients of the Willam Morris Agency. If I recall correctly the creation of the show was explained in the first episode of the Reliving Single podcast.
Oh I'm not familiar with that podcast, I'll have to check it out! Thank you!
Hey Matt, Wow! what an undertaking! I'm very much looking forward to wading through it this evening. While I'm definitely the type to take on 5+ hour video on this topic, have you given thought to maybe breaking it up to 5 separate 1 hour videos, making it a mini-series of sorts that may be more palatable to the masses?
Yes, I looked at that option -- unfortunately YouTube is not great about a multi-part series, and tends to recommend pieces out of order or not at all. I have chapter markers in the description though so hopefully it's easier to jump around!
Well worth the wait!
This is great so far. Obviously I'm going to have to watch it in pieces. I've lived much of what you've put together and this rings so many bells in my brain! Thank You for this wonderful gift!
Gray Davis was recalled because people were outraged he raised the car registration fee rate back to where it was before Pete Wilson had lowered it. But it was framed like Davis had put a new tax on cars! Dirty Arnold vetoed same sex marriage twice while he was stumpfing the housekeeper! My husband and I flew up from L.A. for the day in 2004 to get married and the lines were huge. Eventually, some City worker came by and told us we probably would not get in the building. We told them we'd been together for 26 years already at that time and deserved to get in, but no dice! We licked our wounds, went antiquing, bar hopping and rode public transporation back to the airport. Eventually we got married in 2008 before Prop 8. As an aside, here in L.A., early on we filed a certificate of association, like we were a business partnership, after we read an article in the Times about other couples doing it . And then, we eventually became domestic partners. The hoops we had to go through!
truly some incredible work!!!
All your videos are good. But when it becomes personal for you, it just blossoms.
Thank you! That's one reason I wanted to tackle this one, it's definitely been a personal journey for the last ... oh lord, twenty years
You've been talking to Jessie Gender again.