August 21, 2020

Super-Sized - Preview

Ned, manager of the Bueno Nacho, calls Kim into his office for her first performance review...

Ned: Kim, could you come in here please?  Ron, cover the register for a couple of minutes.
Ron: Sure thing, boss!  (mocking and sing-songing) Ooooo!  Somebody's in trouble!  Somebody's in trouble!
Kim: Can it, brown-noser.  Don't you have some urinals to scrub?

Kim rolls her eyes and sighs as she trudges into Ned's office.

Ned: Close the door behind you and have a seat, Kim.
Kim: (exasperated and mono-tonal) Whatever it is, I can explain.
Ned: Explain what?  I called you in here to tell you what a phenomenal job you're doing!
Kim: Phenom...  Ohhh-kay?  I thought Ron was your favorite apple polisher?  Err, I mean, valued employee.
Ned: Ron...  Ron makes a mean burrito, his knowledge nacho cheese is unsurpassed, and he can shine bathroom faucet handles until they're absolutely glowing.  But...

Ned opens his desk drawer and pulls out a white manager's shirt and sets it in front of Kim.

Ned: He's absolutely horrible at dealing with customers.  You, on the other hand, have received nothing but positive comments from customer and 5-star reviews across the board on every online survey I've read.
Kim: I...uhhh...are you...?  Are you promoting me?!
Ned: Absolutely!  Assistant Manager, effective immediately.  $5 more per hour, matched 401k, profit sharing, paid medical and dental.  That should really help pay for that new convertible I see parked out there.
Kim: Wh-what are they...?  What are they saying about me?
Ned: Well, you could use a little work in the 'team player' department, but...  Here, lemme read you a couple of these comments: "She makes me want to come again and again!", "Kim really knows how to wrap my burrito and cover it in extra sauce.  What a pro!", and...my personal favorite... "I could eat Kim's taco(s) for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Promote her immediately!"

Kim blinks...and then just stares at Ned with a little smirk, slightly befuddled by his naiveté.

Ned: See?  The customers love you!


Original Art by Gagala 

Edits by Phillipthe2