TFW I Read the News

It's almost like living a Beckett play about a mad bomber.

Someone in a locked building starts screaming, "I have a bomb, that I intend to detonate when I reach the end of this path. The strong will survive and determine the future!"

Half the people who hear it say, "Oh SHIT! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!," they look the the authority and say, "Yo, what are you going to do about this?" The rest are bewildered.

The authority yells to the man screaming about the bomb, "You really shouldn't say that, my friend. You're going to scare people. If someone takes you seriously, it could cause a panic. It's not right. That's not the kind of thing we do around here. As for the rest of you, let's not let a little hyperbole cause us all to abandon our better angels."

The response comes back, "I have a bomb, and I'm going to blow us all to hell when I reach the end of this path! The strong will survive and determine the future!" He's now walking past the authority, heading toward to the end of the path.

The people locked inside say, "This asshole has been working on that bomb for ten years, and we kept warning you he was making a bomb. He kept saying he was going to blow us all up. You kept saying no one would really make a bomb. Hell no, fuck this. We're are going to take that bomb away from his ass. We are the descendants of the people who survived the last bomb. Our mothers are in the corner. How many times have we heard the story about the last bomb?" They start to rush as if they're going to try to get past the authority.

The authority pulls out their guns, "HEY NOW! THIS IS NOT WHO WE ARE! You all are going to stop this, right now! WE ARE GOING TO PRESERVE ORDER!" They yell down the path, "DUDE! Look at this. These people are taking you seriously. Please stop, okay? We don't want things to get out of hand. We're not trying to demonize you, we're just trying to keep order. Can you do us a favor man, just stop with the bomb talk? Can we talk about this like adults?"

He holds up his hand as he's walking toward the end of the path, but he's just far enough away that no one can really see what's in it, "This is a detonator! I have a bomb, and I am going to detonate it when I reach the end of this path! The strong will survive and determine the future!"

Now the people locked inside decide they're not going to wait for the authorities to do something. They might be able to get to the guy before he reaches the end of the path. The authority shoots a few, handcuff some others, everyone else runs to hide. "DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE US DO? DID YOU? LOOK AT THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME HANDLE THIS? WHY WOULD YOU BREAK THE RULES LIKE THIS? OH, THE HUMANITY!" the authority cries.

"YOU ASSHOLE! HE HAS A BOMB AND HE'S GOING TO BLOW US ALL UP! YOU'RE ATTACKING US?"

"WE WILL HAVE ORDER!  THIS INCIVILITY WILL NOT STAND! HOW CAN WE DECIDE WHAT TO DO IF WE DON'T HAVE ORDER?"

"I have a bomb and I am going to detonate it when I reach the end of this path" comes faintly from the far end of the building.

A few of the people who initially went to hide when the gunfire broke out come out and say, "Yeah, I think we should all just blow up. I like this plan. This building is annoying. The food sucks. It's always too warm or too cold. There's all those... you know, those people I don't like. I'm with him, let's blow it all up. Let's let the strong who survive decide what to do."

Exasperated, the authority says, "No one is blowing anything up. Let's not blow this out of proportion. Heh-heh. Eh? No? Too soon? Okay. I just thought some levity would help break the tension here, you know? I was just trying to relate, like the rest of you, because I'm the authority, and you're not. I'm still human, just like you. Can't you see how hard this is for me? Really though. Who would do that? He's not blowing anything up, let's not get to upset over some hyperbole here." Over their shoulder, still holding their guns on the people who tried to rush the man yelling about the bomb, the authority yells to him, "BUDDY! MY MAN! DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE? DO YOU NOT CARE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? Can you please stop with the whole bomb thing already? We don't want to have to shoot anyone else, but we will man, we will. Can we talk about this, please?"

"I have a bomb..."

We're all just waiting to see what happens when the guy screaming about having a bomb reaches the end of the path.