Time to focus...

There was an era where I was super "prolific" in my creativity. I self published a posing book, co-produced a documentary, ran group photo events, got published in a bunch of magazines, learned to freedive, traveled to like 20 countries... all between the ages of 24-29.

When I look back at that era, I both feel pity for myself while also being proud of myself. The pity is because of how hard I was trying to prove myself as a worthwhile human, model, creator.... whatever. I wanted to prove I could achieve things, so much so that I burned the candle at both ends. I was likely avoiding my own feelings... It was the 5 first years of my sobriety.

Of course I am proud of the creations I made. In addition to those creations, I also had a strong youtube channel. Today I have slowed my pace. I look back at those times and wonder to myself... "how did I even enjoy life, if I was always looking to achieve the next big thing?" I wasn't really even enjoying my successes, because each new success was just a marker to start on the next big thing.

Today I feel much more self aware. I don't have to prove myself to anyone, I just want to learn to be happier in the moment. Is this a universal experience for humans who are similar to me in age? Perhaps?

Life does seem to move fast. I am working on another book... but I have not been making youtube videos. I post a bit on various social platforms to let the outside world know I still exist (and of course, that I have this patreon!!) But I feel grateful to have accomplished the things that I have over the years.

I do want to accomplish more things (like publishing my next book!) but right now I think I am still in the process of eliminating parts of my life that do not serve me. I don't really know what they are, specifically... but I can tell you if an opportunity makes me cringe, I simply just do not do it! And that is working out for me.

Rest is a valid activity, I need to sharpen my axe for a while before swinging it. That way I can be more effective. No more bullshit filler stuff. Only pure creation and passion!

I have almost completely sold out my Fall Utah Southwest Adventure! It pretty much sells itself!! I have been flying to big cities this summer between my Utah trips. I want to make more crafts when I am home... so hopefully I can carve out some time for myself to do that soon.

Thanks for reading my thoughts! I appreciate you for being here :)

*Kristy

XoXo