Sorry We Funded Nuzzi (Premium E317)

I know this came out a million years ago (trump time… am I right?), and I’ve listened to the episode like 5 times, but nuzzi writes like she thinks she’s living out a “sex and the city” episode and she’s carrie Bradshaw

QAA book club when?

Two hundred and fifty first

“Town crier” lmao she’s below a village idiot. What a waste of matter.

Cooked, as in we’re so fucking

I honestly felt like the vf except was trying to be Joan Didion's California stuff. There's something weird and distancing. Didion is a better writer tho. I do relate to Nuzzi being messy and doing stuff for anecdotes or kicks, but not enough to actually read the whole book.

Having never read any of her stuff, I really wasn’t prepared for how bad the writing would be.

I just so happened to relisten to the Helen Keller episode right before listening to this one, so I can say for a fact that this is at least the second time that DDLG has been mentioned on the podcast. Interestingly, at that time Julian did not even know what it stood for, whereas in this one he's the one to bring it up, suggesting he has been quite a journey in the intervening two years.

Anyone else refreshing daily to see if the boys are back?

soooo excited about the return of perverts. username unrelated i swear

I still have no idea who this is and it’s driving me nuts that this is still the most recent podcast lol.

I never comment but this was the funniest episode ever.

I just started the audiobook version on Spotify and oh my god her narration makes it so much more hilarious.

The quotes from her book sound like YA novel.

Big parasocial love from Belgium.

I hope you’re all ok

Hardly heard from Travis. It really does seem like he and Julian aren’t able to share any airtime. When they are on together, travis is almost completely silent. When Julian is gone, we hear the most from Travis and he seems more lighthearted.

You know, I think each host does a tremendous job-- bar none. I would not change anything about any of them. (But if anyone was taking feedback, I'd say stop making fun of poor spelling and being ageist.)

Julian exclaiming fuck is my mantra for 2026

Maybe “digital romance” just means they fingered each other.

I haven't listened since the election because I just idk man shit sucks but a few minutes in I'm laughing at Jake lose it over nothing and I'm ready to binge everything I've missed 🩷

where’d you go?

So, more Perverts? Finally? Please?

also not my girl didion catching strays smh

im sorry yashar ali did what

The entire book for some reason: https://youtu.be/Py_-3di1yx0?si=h6EFNHNw7Ngipdki

I feel so much better about all the fan fiction I’ve written.

People, please stop lying about olivia nuzzi. She is not beautiful or attractive at all. She is fuck ugly. Being a blonde white woman doesn't make you attractive. You actually have to *look* attractive.

Damn that girl is MESSY

Absolutely love all the "book report" episodes and this was no exception

The raccoon bit was the only part where anything nuzzy wrote got an emotion outta me.

Ima listen to this ep again for extra Julian derailing.

After this I'm completely tuning out of anything Nuzzi-related until she makes her inevitable turn as a recurring cast member in John Waters projects.

Unrelated to the bulk of the episode, I am SO here for Pervert season 2. A life without hearing Liv Agar reluctantly explain Human Domestication Guide to an increasingly horrified Julian is not a life worth living at all.

Long form rage bait

cursedmedia.ihavethestupidcomputeranxietysorta

Nuzzi is has cluster 🅱️ energy

I was doing OK but she broke me with the description of the Raccoon gif. I'm not sure what life is anymore.

pausing at 14:50 to say… worst Ace Attorney monologue EVER

oh no… Liv brought up Nietzsche within the first 10 mins… we’re really heading right for the heart of darkness

damn I can’t stand Nuzzism

Man that line about "what life in America is like" is so infuriating, this woman has no idea what life in America is like right now outside the clubhouse for the Christmas Adventurers Club where she's lived her entire life! I'm an Australian who lived there for a few years a decade ago and by virtue of getting married and being forced to deal with American healthcare when we had a baby, I am confident that I know more about life in modern America than this cossetted imbecile. The TAFS interview was incredible in how stunningly vacuous and empty her observations are. Oh Trump likes it when you kiss his ass? And he is disappointed if you don't? Wow! Nobody has ever managed to paint such a vivid picture of the man, surely this is the Gore Vidal of our times!

Why would anyone not be "allowed" to do different accents? Do you Americans view us Europeans as being beneath you and therefore forbidden to mock? Or do you think we're all overly sensitive? I say, do all the accents.

49:00 this is so trippy

Olivia “Liv Agar” Nuzzi

Someone on twitter referred to Nuzzi as Joan Midion and hearing these excerpts really made me realize how accurate that was lmao.

So is there now an application process for liv’s situationships?

Here’s to another year of Jake premiums! There will never be enough of them.

Liv adds so much to the show. Please have her on as much as possible. It really balances the show, imo.

Anyone that takes olivia nuzzi seriously should seek professional help.

I like that Travis finally chimes in after thirty minutes to say she’s trying to sound like Cormac McCarthy. 😂 Personally, I think she’s trying the to sound like Joan Didion, especially with that “though” in the earlier sentence. The problem is, Didion is the only one who can get away with that.

I think she wants to be like... a Lana Del Rey type character. Not as in Elizabeth Grant (The music artist for whom Lana Del Rey is a pseudonym) but the CHARACTER in the songs who's this certain tragic but idolized feminine. So beautiful but so broken, so troubled. A femme fatale victimized by her own intoxicating allure as well as by the bad powerful men she's hopelessly drawn to and who are, in turn, hoplessly drawn to her. Glamorously tragic, tragically glamorous. Destined to never be happy but also never responsible for her own actions and decisions. But you can't be that in real life. It's not a real person and if you TRY to be that then you're not only automatically disqualified for trying but you're deeply annoying. I've known people like this. It's not cute. The thing about mystery is that it's all ruined when people get to know you and it turns out you're just immature and sad.

i do think it’s worth listening to the taylor lorenz episode on nuzzi to hear a different perspective on the whole thing

I love this podcast but sometimes I feel like it may not be good for me to learn about some people. Like, the excerpts literally gave me a headache

Julian is a shark and Jake is a sunfish that just kind of bobbs around with the current and predators leave mostly alone because there's just not much in ways of nutrition there.

Vicious Fun (2020) is a very Jake Rockatansky coded horror movie imho. Xo, SH

Julian resurfacing rocked, best part… This one hurt. This story shows how rotten and irredeemable American culture is nicely. Nuzzi is as bad a writer as she is person

You know what they call a butthole after being fisted? A rose.

he did it all for the nuzzi

Someone should let Jake voice their audiobook but also give him free reign to get sidetracked and give his own opinions on what's going on in the book during the reading

Mark Sanford actually WAS in Argentina—he told everyone he was “hiking the Appalachian trail” but he was in Argentina with his mistress. One of the most embarrassing moments in South Carolina history and this state literally started the civil fucking war

🔥 JULIAN FEELD 🔥

What’s Dideon

Liv should probably read Didion before referencing

Jake needs to channel Fred Durst and exchange “Nuzzi” for “Nookie.”

42.42 Jake accurately describes my life

In some of Jake's readings my mouth literally slowly dropped open in awe of how shit this writing is

Im sad I know anything at all about this empty milk carton of a freak nuzzi

Love Julian's messy-bitch energy ❤️ you're ok bud

Eeeecchhh.... RFK cum is probably full of brain-eating worms and ham.

Bring back Cheaters hosted by Joey Grecco!

She says darkness more than Jake ever said ball pit or black goo.

Her most recent Instagram caption: "I found there was a kind of paradise within the privacy of a lie. I found the paradise was at turns a prison." On par with AI poetry. Also, I found that when I was looking up a pic of her to see what she looks like....I was not expecting that. I think i pictured her looking like the coldplay hr lady but worse.

I have more respect for Jacob Chansley's integrity as a writer.

Her book is just LiveJournal

I can’t believe that there’s another hour and fifteen minutes of this book that’s just about fucking RFK.

“Thanks to my noble sacrifice, I stare the darkest parts of humanity in the eye and serve as sin eater so the unwashed masses can understand the darkness. Also sometimes I have to (nobly) fuck a man who sounds like he’s gargling frogs and semen- again, to clarify, in a *noble* way.”

Having Liv and Travis balance Jake and Jules is such good content. Arguably taking the podcast crown with Trueanon. That might be because these are the two I pay for. But bias aside both the best production. We say starfish in Mexico too when the sex is a little one sided. But the way Jake uses it is so, so much better.

liv agar

goddamn it this is excruciatingly bad prose and Jake's narration is 💯

I relate to Liv's recent dating experience but I relate even more to Julien's experience of this episode. The book is so bad I was losing my mind just listening to it. I would 100% have dipped from this convo to spare myself and others from harm 😂

"I'm so glad I came back" from Jules at 1:10:9-10 I'm legit curious was this a consideration?

Derailed episodes are great. Ignore the haters.

Nuzzi Lizza Nuzzi Lizza Nuzzi Lizza Nuzzi Lizza Nuzzi Lizza Nuzzi Lizza 😵‍💫🫠

leftist men don't call women you don't like "bitches" challenge level impossible apparently lol

“Eating the cum of an ancient reptile” had me choking hahaha

That background music everytime they were reading a segment was so hilarious and perfect. I laughed EVERY time.

I think she thinks shes doing a Sylvia Plath

I haven't even started this episode. Obligatory: shut the fuck up, Julien. Lol

Julian's laugh has a very Thomas Hulce as Mozart in Amadeus feel to it

"Nuzzi start an Only Fans...do...everything butt." Julien.

Let me just say, as the ethnic Catholic high school graduate that I am, Olivia Nuzzi is a STRIVER. I know ‘em when I see ‘em. She wants desperately to fit in with the cool kids. Not working.

Monica didn't write a book but she does have a podcast! It's called Reclaiming

Whoa, Julian, denigrating Tim Miller is NOT ON!

One of my fav episodes as of recently. Great review of a truly terrrible book. Thank you.

Nuzzi's writing style reminds me of a sober, self-absorbed teen trying to do Hunter S. Thompson.

Jake! I thought your Winnie the Pooh mock of Nuzzi was really funny!

I’ve used this comment about various people but truly everything I’ve learned about Olivia Nuzzi has been against my will

With all the Roseanne stuff now that the second Trump presidency is underway I would love to hear Tom Arnold come yell at you boys some more

I really enjoyed this episode! I'm sorry that y'all are dealing with a lot of negativity from those early birds. I really love these wild book episodes and the tangents.

I subscribe to CuresMedia.net because I like to hear Brad and Jake fuck. There's like 2 hours of uncensored audio of them just doing it.

Julian - absolutely incapable of reeling it in

Enjoyable episode about a topic I don’t really care about.

Eve Babitz if she had no swag and was the worst

Travis and Julian are big believers in complimentarianism

Turns out about every affluent ass hole with connections and way too much time on their hands are degenerate freaks who get off on public humiliation (it’s actually just intense narcissism and over the top self importance)

I am the Julian Stans

Say what you will about JonBenét, at least she spared us her memoirs

I'm sure there is no overlap between my interests but she writes like Caroline Calloway.

Long EP! 🙏😍

Mark Sanford went to my highschool and one day his name was just gone from the wall of alumni, and they never told us why 😂

“I like his voice”. Girl, get it together.

Lil Orphan Nuzzi 😭😭😭

Imagine fumbling Liv Agar

RFK be like “You like that, you little slut? I mean to flow through you!”

I think she was trying to invoke Ezra Pound's Cantos with the style of the writing (as heavily signified in the book's title), but she's just not even close to Ezra Pound. In general her writing always struck me as a bit old-fashioned. Like one of those magazine writers from the last century. It's not bad per se, just really out-of-time and weirdly anachronistic. But that anecdote about the WWE Hall of Fame maybe shows that she is indeed a boomer at heart and that her mind just really works like that.

Nuzzi be like “We are stoned…immaculate.”

I wish my two favorite podcast (the other is Chapo) would stop talking about this person.

Nuzzi thinks that she is both Wes Bently and Mena Suvari from American Beauty.

“Emotional Security Toaster” really cracked me up

How did I guess she’d have that annoyingly ubiquitous vocal fry.

For the record Julian, if I fire up an episode, and you're not on it, I do sigh a little. I'm mostly coming for the death threats, which I've had to stop doing on twitter because it's started to feel like I could actually face consequences for telling Dave portnoy to k*ll himself.

JAKE my edible is kicking during in during the “who’s on first” “Hall of Fame” section and I thank you 🙏🏽 Julian, ain’t no way she’s been blonde her whole life. That’s a brunette with BDS (blonde derangement syndrome)

Liv and Julian, the OG Perverts😅 I think that this is at least the second DDLG reference by this naughty pair.

No, Nuzzi is not a bad writer. She is in fact something worse— a mediocre writer.

You know, this type of writing would go rather well with a silent hill background music, as it's tailor-made to be creepy while confused NPCs yap neurotic nonsense like they're trapped in their own universe, seemingly uninterested in communicating properly with you or your queries (also the originals had not only amateur voice actors, but in at least the 2nd game they just pulled people from the street who strayed too close to the studio or something too - her emotional flatness would fit in rather well - She's basically, well ok she is just a silent hill background character lol)

We cheat on our boyfriends, we have a cigarette … maybe have like 5 SAUsages, smoke another cigarette

Btw I don't remember hearing Travis until Julian left. That's adorable

These names remind me of that meme “I’m 50. All celebrity news looks like this: CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT” Too many zzzzzzs

*so you don't have to

"Im like a starfish" is so perfectly cogent. Goddamn we don't deserve Jake

For as insufferable as I find Nuzzi, I feel bad that The Politician 🤮 manipulated her. He is wholly constructed of red flags, and is also weird as hell. Her brother was onto something with the daddy issues comment - she was awfully quick to say no to it. tl;dr - More Liv writing, no more oLIVia writing

I would totally listen to a Jake Rockatansky audio book. Not even about Nuzzi, just anything really

Best In Show mentioned 🫡

Julian's misremembering of Mark Sanford captures the stupidity of the story perfectly. He didn't say he was on a trail in Argentina. He said he was walking the Appalachian Trail when he was really fucking a woman from Argentina. And then he held a 2 hour press conference where he made everyone sit through talking about how much he loved this woman, and how much it hurt to let her go, but it was the Christian thing to do. PERFECT companion for Nuzzi.

10 minutes timeout in hell for comparing Nuzzi to Didion. Also, Didion deconstructed the romantic image of California. That was the whole point. She contrasts the myths and the natural beauty with reality.

I thought I was crazy...but I did hear Liv say Ryan LizzO a few times.

I would love an entire episode where yall just describe what kind of ocean animals you are

Julian is precious and must be protected at all costs. Especially from himself 😂

I just kept thinking of Limp Bizkit after like 10 min of listening. Liv Bizkit doin it all for the Nuzzi

Did Jake make a comment about LIZZO...related to weight loss?

wog julz

Fortnite burger

American oh-no

fourth

Nuzzilock run

Liv agar

Oh no