Mike Lindell: Cocaine Cowboy, Courtroom Loser (Premium E295)

Is it just me or is Jake's Minnesotan accent bleeding into slant Irish?

This episode made me piss myself. The release of dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are the only thing keeping me from losing it as we wallow in the sess pool of WH shite!

Who’s the weird little gnome guy Julian is talking about?

1. Every time he lists guys, I think, "There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening." 2. Julian is right about why drug laws targeted crack above powder, but crack is physically different because of how the human body absorbs drugs. Through the lungs, it hits faster and crashes faster, and crack was cheap enough to try when a gram of coke was the equivalent of $700 today. So when a poor person has a higher high, a quicker crash, and a lower low, but can afford another go, it's a different reality than what the rich ass powder users were experiencing. That's why it was a problem in a different way than powder was or is.

What a gem of an episode. Loved Jake’s narration and acting. Just terrific. Julian slowly admiring Lindell was a hidden surprise. Way to go fellas. PS Travis you do have a new energy keep it up big dog

Jake every time you accidentally swerved into the trump impression lane while reading Lindell’s words I lol’d

Thank for this episode, I tried to listen to the coverage of the trial and my brain refuses to listen to Mike now because nature is healing. Also I didn't remember I knew the bar was the place to go to get things but 🤷

Need part 2!!

As a midwestern I can attest to the quality of the Lindell impersonation and the Minnesota accent, a+ job

I welcome Comrade Travis to the cause

I was giving my husband the synopsis of this episode using my worst Jake imitating Lindell imitation and he told me "It reminds me of an even more ridiculous version of G. Gordon Liddys book, Will."

finally, travis is a marxist leninist like me

I need Jake to read us the whole book

Incredible Lindell impressions. Also, it’s pcaps! Lindell would rant about pcaps all the time

I needed these laughs. Thank you boys

As a Minnesotan... I approve of Jake's accent

Used to pay or give some financial support and food and showers to the crackheads to protect the cars and property from the methheads in Oakland. Needle Exchange and Highland left us with a lot of interesting contacts. After, surprisingly , we didn’t wake up in the mornings to see our cars completely bashed in. Your Black Muslim Bakery and East Bay Rats took care of the rest. Both their local bean pie location (gun front) and biker bar respectively were in front of the apartment. Long gone now. But they didn’t like the methheads messing up business either.

Such Slippin' Jimmy McGill energy

Jake I salute you for READING this and doing the best damned book report ever - in Mike Lindell’s voice (Minnesota as ever!)

Mike Lindell turned Scottish at 36 mins 😂

https://abcnews.go.com/US/liver-king-arrested-austin-after-threatening-joe-rogan/story?id=123196365 Liver King, a feature of ManClan, has been arrested after having threatened Joe Rogan. I think it's time for an update!

Amazing job Jake ❤️

Mike Lindell is modern day Job, can't wait for him to get eaten by a whale

My favorite Travis joke is from the Mudfossil University PHD episode where he makes a “Your mama” joke

You should put that travis quote about harnessing the power of infinite energy on a shirt

When I hear Jake playing Mike Lindell I see a crude animation in my head of Mike speaking. I absolutely love it.

Does Jake’s Mike Lindell voice remind anyone else of Bobby’s mom from “Bobby’s World”? https://bobbys-world.fandom.com/wiki/Martha_Sven-Generic

I really want to do coke with him or at least hear him tell war stories at a NA meeting.

Its so amazing to go out of your way to say you're a "copious note taker" and rest your whole case on paraphrasing because you didn't write it all down. We are truly in an enlightened age.

How much would I need to donate to the Patreon to get Jake to record my voicemail in the Lindell voice?

I don’t think the standard for defamation in this case is that high of a bar in this case.

Holy shit, my mom's family is from Victoria and im related to most of those weirdos from Schmittys. Had no idea he owned that place.

You guys. Thank you. I have laughed so hard that I’m exhausted enough to finally get some sleep!

Its called a Lenticular printing to make those moving/flickering/3D effects by a textured surface like a slanted triangle/pyramid point where two images are printed on each side of those sides of the points. So when you physically tilt your eyes process the tiny flick between the two images and makes like a two frame animation sense of motion.

More!

I’m sure the QAA team have a long list of people to cover in episodes but if you’re looking for one more Joe Kent is especially crazy. He is acting chief of staff for Tulsi Gabbard, considering his first wife was killed in a bombing in Syria, I’m sure they have a lot to talk about. I would also love a QAA episode about where you all think the Republican Party can go after Trump/MAGA. Love the show!

when travis did the lindell voice I actually laughed out loud

Jake, I love that your Literary Lindell sounds like Grover's hard-living uncle from Mankato. Can't wait for books 2 and 3.

I’m not trying to buy a sword!

look Gordon, ropes!

Is anyone else having an issue of the podcast playing in the Patreon app. I tried updating the app, logging out and logging in and uninstalling and reinstalling the app. Thanks

No no no, Mike Lindell doesn't sound like Donald Trump with strep throat. Mike Lindell sounds like Jesse Ventura's crackhead brother on half an hour of sleep.

Goddamn, I hope there’s an audiobook version of Lindell’s book. Sounds very entertaining, but I couldn’t bear to use my eyes to read it or my hands to hold it.

Biggest mistake Lindell made. Spending his own money. All these other grifters being paid, and he just blew his own wad.

"And then almost immediately, the bottom fell out of the pig market." Man, if I had a nickel...

This book sounds so fucking good

Mike tells stories like Homer Simpson describing his horrible experience in NYC. "And then the chuds came at me.".

This reminds me of "The Satan Seller" by Mike Warnke, except I can imagine some of this stuff actually happening to Lindell.

travis saying jake has a book report and calling him jakey ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #prouddadvibes

jake is, once again, getting possessed by the ghOHst of gilbert Gottfried

Stalin literally did nothing wrong except die and also not putting the top 50k people from nazi Germany to death

I still think they (pillows) are filled with industrial waste

Isn't The Greek the name of the kingpin in season 2 of The Wire? All but certain Lindell just copy and pastes half-remembered bits of TV into his own life. Fitting in its own way because iirc the character isn't even Greek, he just knows that Americans are too ignorant to work out where he's really from.

I’m so excited for the Big Fish sequel about Mike Lindell’s life.

Lindell is America's perfect oaf.

I love god’s voice being the same as Mike Lindell’s voice. The kind of little details that keep me a loyal subscriber.

I used to think that no one could outdo the absurdity of a Jake Story, but then here comes Mike Lindell climbing up a drive-in screen saying, “Hold my pillow.”

Mike Lindell 100% watched Road House and deluded himself into thinking he was both Patrick Swayze and bear claw necklace guy combined.

If you’ve ever worked in sales or dealt with sales people you have met multiple Mike Lindells. The difference is they didn’t become millionaires.

Jake’s voices. I’m dying laughing. How to lose a testicle in downtown Minneapolis 🤣🤣🤣

Holy shit! I knew I got hard-core untreated ADD vibes from Lindell! Makes me feel better about my own fairly debilitating case of the same 😂 Back when I was an alcoholic and basically living at a dive bar, my fellow gronks told the exact same types of stories, like the lore was massive. Minus the racism. Only problem about being sober is there aren’t enough drugs to facilitate the writing down of these stories, which is probably for the best

Please, let Jake do a follow up on this book report !

Jake really could be a voice on Big Mouth

I'm not sure why Travis spent ten minutes in the middle of this ardently disputing the existence of the Holodomor, but great episode nonetheless boys.

Great terrifying ep but I wish there was a Jake Story

I agree, you guys have been hilarious the last few months. I've had multiple laugh out loud moments, which is impressive considering the state of the world!

podcas

Liv agar

these addiction stories are total bullshit - this guy is a fucking poser. it sounds like tough guy shit if you're trying to impress an audience of evangelicals in Chaska

I like the mypillow.... 😞

He picks up useless paper and puts it in my pocket I'm trying very hard to keep my fingers clean I can't remember, tell me what's his name? "My name is Mike Cocaine" (My excuses to Madness. I couldn't stop humming this song while listening to Jake's part.)

Julien, if you’re reading this my vasectomy doctor was named Dr. Fooks

Mike Lindell is actually the white guy in the skit that opens the first Brujeria record

"I haven't gotten to the Jesus stuff yet..." is my favorite cliffhanger now

They say it as a joke- but I can totally believe Eric Kumar listens to this show.

Still I thought, wow…

Here for the dunk!

Julian doing Fry's hundred cup of coffee challenge from Futurama.

Liv Agar!

Travis is always good for a well placed zinger

There is something about his coked-out Midwest energy that I find oddly soothing, like if all my uncles went into The Fly machine at once. I just got back from the praries, so this is auspicious timing

My partner works in that courthouse, dropping them off and not being allowed to ask Mr. Lindell for a picture was grueling.

You’re an asshole

I ' m s o r r y b o y

Oh hell yeah.

Let's ride!