The Thrill of the Chaise (Premium E254)

Less than 10 min in and I’m laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes, love this show so much

Also Travis did you read about Prefactual Thinking for this ep? I loved your comments on the nature of couch fucking truth and my psychologist husband said there's a technical term for it and showed me an article about it. I've enjoyed it so far as a seasoning to the couch fuck phenomenon https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000308

Shout out to Steve and Brian 🙏 hope the kings are thriving

Goncharov

Yakov Smirnoff voice “ In American politics…couch fucks you! “

I think there are at least three major reasons the Trump assassination attempt hasn't had much staying power: (1) The gunman kind of just wanted to commit suicide by cop and thought going for a president would give him some sort of satisfaction. And he was not a minority or a democrat; the republicans had no good way to spin it. (I also think this is the reason they are so desperate for a second gunman because then there could really be some nefarious, radical, leftist minority actually pulling all the strings.) (2) Trump wasn't injured, not in a meaningful way. There was no, "is he gonna make it?" moment. Pretty much as soon as you heard that it happened you also knew that Trump was basically unscathed. That pretty much contained the event to just the one day; you made your excited phone calls to your relatives and talked about how "this changes everything" and hung up and woke up the next day and did some chores around the house or whatever. (3) Probably the biggest thing is that Trump didn't die. If Trump died that would have shifted us into a very different political timeline, and that would force us all to think daily, "we're in this situation now because Trump got assassinated." That fact changes this event from a whole chapter in a history book to maybe a page.

Not that it matters but I think the glove fucking is a reference to a Confederacy of Dunces who masturbates with a glove and considers himself a connoisseur and gentleman of the art. That scene does go one for many pages including imaging his beloved dog.

JD Vance may not have fucked that particular couch but based on what we know about JD Vance I think we can all say with certainty that this man has absolutely fucked a couch or ten in his lifetime.

This reminds me of the stupid fake tweets that people share of Ben Shapiro

Jake came out of the gates hard on this one.

S-Tier level podcast episode naming here

Julian is painfully unfunny, condescending and longwinded. Jake is the saving grace of this podcast.

FYI the BI link appears to be dead

True or false either way , one thing is absolutely true now ….that couch fucked or not ….is Fucking Vance now

The QAA podcast: Come for the brain-melted conspiracism, stay for the incisive blue chew jokes

please have dave anthony on again!!

Didn't know that I would hear Travis View speak the phrase "advanced masturbation engineering" today and yet here we are.

When I first heard of Vance’s supposed escapades, my mind went where Julian’s did. Like, how the hell does that work? 🤔

this is a lot of pearl clutching to do over a shitpost that everyone who isn't chronically online will forget about in a few weeks

I think we've gone beyond politics and are firmly in the age of trollitics.

Look. JD Vance was using a latex glove as a CONDOM so he didn't nut inside the couch and have to clean it. My theory is that none of the hosts put forward this obvious theory so they won't be accused of having done this in the past! For the record I don't own a penis, just an imagination.

Frank Zappa has a lot of good sofa material: “Don’t get no jizz upon the sofa sofa..”. https://youtu.be/dWRS96Y8Xas

...This isn't a search field, self.

RE: Jake’s grandma saying “do you have to make?” My Italian family says that constantly. Partially as a joke to make fun of the first generation who came to the US and used that phrase

The assassination attempt on Trump as a political determiner faded like a fart in the wind because of how polarized around him we already are. It wasn’t going to make someone who wasn’t already going to vote for him change their mind, and the people chanting USA! at that rally over the dead body of one of their own just thought it made for a cool photo. The importance of the undecided voter is vaporous and grossly overstated. Also, I’ve found it annoying how tightly Democrats have clutched their pearls over the “vote for me and you’ll never have to vote again” statement he made. It had nothing to do with ending democracy. He just only considers the election process as far as his relation to it, and he can’t be on the ballot again if he wins. He doesn’t care what you do after that because none of this has ever been about public policy or the direction of the country, it’s only ever been about him becoming the biggest, bestest celebrity. Which is what really has made his supporters look like fools since 2016; nothing he says is genuine..once the sale is made he doesn’t care if the transmission falls out on the highway.

I think the assassination symbolism didn't really work in large part because Trump has no gravitas or dignity. He milked the ear bandage and it worked on hardcore supporters but it was too much. And as soon as Biden dropped out he showed his stupid pettiness again and he is just so un-stateman-like that you cannot reconcile that with the fist picture. It just looks like a "look at me" moment, which obviously it was.

If you read the Wikipedia page on Lee Harvey Oswald and ignore the JFK assassination, it’s pretty clear that Lee Harvey Oswald was the type of [completely insufferable] guy who totally would have shot the President of the United States just for the Twitter clout. Pity, then, that Hillary Clinton shot JFK first.

"What that cushy do?" -JD Vance, Hillbilly Elegy

Also as someone who left Twitter when Elon took over, I had only seen memes about JD Vance being a couch fucker and figured they were based on facts. He just seems like the type to fuck a couch and admit it in a weird book or blog post.

Hawk Tuah had a longer moment than the Trump assassination attempt 😭

JD Vance has big couch fucker energy, undoubtedly.

This is the chaos rune episode and I love it

I thought this would be funny but it wasn’t, to me. I am not enjoying the both-sides and nihilistic political takes. I originally joined because I loved Julian’s laugh. But it sounds different now. So I am taking a break, unsubscribing. I will keep checking in though, in the hope of rediscovering their zany magic.

People who have never fucked a couch are the same people who don’t cry or pick their noses etc.

Oh gentle Jake, you’re too good for this harsh world.

The thing about the couch-fucking lie is just that it's so stupid and was so stupid from the start that it can only get more stupid. I'm making it more stupid right now because I'm trying to explain ut. There's no way to turn it into any kind of profound discussion because that requires taking it seriously and that makes it even more stupid. For every smartness point you gain you lose like a hundred.

I feel like the assassination attempt’s lack of cross-culture impact is just so reflective of how numb everyone in the US is to loan shooter events. They just happen all the time. People EXPECT them to happen. Everybody moves on. It’s business as usual.

*sigh* julian is the most unfunny person in podcasting

I feel like the "everyone moved on" sentiment that many have about the assassination attempt is really wishcasting by the left. Much like liv said "everyone just didn't want it to be a historic moment" but for those on the right it is. I can tell you it absolutely is still weighting on the mind of the average voter as I'm out canvassing for local elections and I get talked to about it constantly.

A shitpost is a meme, Julian.

100% one of the funniest eps in a while! Nice palate cleanser after last week's (excellent) episode lol

“me n my crew layin pipe” OG couchfuckers https://youtu.be/RdR-eLgeIyk?si=YMbtFuSLzZkfxTml

He fucked a couch

If it's any consolation to Jake's mental health breakdown, political history is a lot uglier and messier than the clean platitudes often projected in casual education and by comparatively recent "respectability politics" types, nowt but a more effective brand of sugar-coated nationalist propaganda. We've always been shit, likely even worse without the human brain's rose-tinted memory lens in the way - it's honestly a wonder we've managed to even get this far! - so, really, it's not that new, just another passing moment, destined to be misremembered if not wiped out entirely by our own short-sighted corpocalypse. Let the libs let of some steam, have their fun after all the recent years of flagrant RW bullshit, people will move on once it's run its course and new problems arise. (Humans in politics aren't jedi monks from star wars required to remain pure to uphold the light side) *Pats Jake* ---------~~~~----- Also the daily-to-weekly shootings, mass shootings and police killings most probably have everyone mentally drained of being able to care as much about an 'oh look another shooting but this time it was directed at a legitimate asshole who's team's likely gonna milk it for all it's worth to secure his next fascist presidency' - am typing too much already but there's a lot of intersectional factors like this I think would be helpful to pull Jake out of his despair spiral. We need him healthy and happy! 👌😉

So funny! I'm listening walking laughing so hard seriously I nearly peed myself hilarious episode

A true hillbilly wouldn't have bothered using a glove. Bareback or go home!

I have never heard so much couch fucking in my life. Makes me wonder how many men really are couch fucking.

Middle-Aged Mutant Turtles rise up!

The only other time I’ve heard “Make” as being about shit was on The Last Podcast on the Left.

As I’ve been off twitter for three weeks the opening bits about, “what? I barely remember that News Event” is my actual brain rn

“On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue All day long, on the chaise longue On the chaise longue, on the chaise longue, on the chaise longue All day long, on the chaise longue” -wet leg l can’t get that song out of my head now

Doesn't matter if he didn't actually fuck the chair, Vance will always be the Chairfucker now and forever and it's what he deserves to be remembered as.

Blessed are the “makers”

In jail/rehab "Suzie's" were a relatively popular thing which just consist of rolling up a towel and sticking a glove filled with lube inside it

From now on, "slather me in your finest sludge" is what I'm saying to myself every time I find a way to connect to the internet.

Blue Choom

Official scientific term for a community upholding a known falsehood like JD Vance's couch bit is "having a laugh" - or "avvin' a laff!" if you're cockney.

Truth ain't truthing like it used to truth. Keep it all together with the cult of goose. - *60s ad jingle noises*

Personally, I find nothing odd or wrong with JD ducking his couch if he really liked the couch, and really liked thecouch. I like flying aircraft, and got the chance to fly a P51 Mustang fighter. Believe me after the fight I would have dated, tucked, and married that plane. Lol

There was no "assassination attempt". It was a time traveling loveseat, part of a matched set until JD Vance defiled its other half. The gunshot was carefully aimed to only nick Trump, giving him the overconfidence necessary to tap Vance as his running mate. Thus cast into the limelight the world would learn of Vance's dark deeds between the cushions and he would be the subject of endless mockery. The perfect revenge and, purely by accident, the salvation of democracy.

“Am I gay, grandma?” “Do you want two men to spit roast you like a hog?” “No” “Then you’re not gay.” I feel like this was the real exchange and Vance altered it when he was writing his memoir.

jake needs a copy of portnoy's complaint stat

I want a dick hardening vape so bad rn

Just want to say love having Liv on so often great addition to the regular hosts

+1 to team toxic sludge

liv agar

99% of us posting about Vance having sectional relations with that couch were shit posting because it was funny. I don’t think many of the posters actually believed it was true. Unlike with movements like Stop the Steal or QAnon where most people involved were true believers.

HOLY SHIT well played with that title

I guarantee the idea to put a latex glove between couch cushions came from jackinworld.com

Steve and Brian 😐

You should talk more in italian. It makes it easier to jerk it. I won't stop doing jerking it, but if your podcast is in spanish, it would take less time for me to finish. Much love.

Like every other President hasn’t fucked a couch or jacked off with toothpaste and had to do the home alone scream… yes I did the toothpaste thing, and paid the price.

Vance is an Olympic couch fucker.

Can’t wait to listen to this one, the title alone has already made me laugh out loud