Hearthside Chats Part II: The Bert / Ernie Dichotomy

There's so many things you can do with French toast hands down Til you can wipe sitting down

The potato question before Spudfuckers happened is very revealing lol

soup with cheese? I am too central asian for this

You need to try potato scones

All of this baked potato talk, and now 2.5 years later, it manifested into Spudfuckers.

French toast, but specifically Challah French Toast.

Em in the middle of the sneeze/hiccups argument lmao "waffles"

Low DEX w sleight of hand proficiency representation! Me too Caldwell

As a t1 diabetic who low key is very prone to going low, the worst time to eat a snack in in the middle of any sort of multi hour standardized testing where food and drink isn’t allowed. Especially if the food you’re eating is crunchy or crinkly or makes any noise whatsoever. Having 20 stressed and hangry highschoollers giving u the side eye as you frantically chow down on a ziplock full of cheezits is life changing as a socially anxious 15 year old lmao

I've spent 46 years standing while wiping, and it never occurred to me that there was any other way. *bidet has entered the chat*

I’m out their fit I’m in for French toast lol

love hearing emily say noir so quickly at 37:25 in a post-twank world🖤 glad she got her wish

I was wondering if anyone was going to address what Jake said about the buffet, and of course Murph quickly swoops in and dunks on him haha. That whole section was great. Also a proud stander while I wipe (crouched over obviously).

Second time listener here (this time listening to epi then the Patreon bonus episode right after) so I just heard this episode last week. I’m currently sitting in Little Tart Bakeshop in Atlanta trying French Toast for the first time in my 29 years of life because of this podcast. I’m 80% done and I can’t believe this was in the running with waffles and pancakes. I’ll start by saying, this is a very well done French toast. Beautiful display, fancy fruit, nutmeg. and everything else at this cafe is fantastic. It’s very good, but no where near as good as the other two. It didn’t arrive drenched but I was shocked it was served with syrup. It’s so sweet, I’m having brunch and I’m overwhelmed. I can’t imagine eating this for breakfast. I guess I’m just shocked pancakes were out so fast over FT. Overall 4/10. Okay love you guys. Bye.

WAS THAT A CAT’S MEOW AT 42:51?!? 🥹

Murph comparing his wife to Macho Man is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.

Murph is the best there is, there best there was, and the best there ever will be 🫲🩷🖤🫱

GYG fries 🙌

dungeon and daddies has done a really cool old hollywood call of cthulhu mini campaign that was like body horror mystery vibes

Culvers crinkle fries

I found that if I’m procrastinating on where I have to go I’ll put on one sock and one shoe at a time but if I’m excited then it’s both socks then shoes

I love the chill episodes. Absolutely immaculate vibes. Also for Berting, I believe Caldwell Bert'd during the Trinyvale camp when Jake tried a motorcycle move where Nyack almost ate it and Caldwell was strict with the ruling.

Unfortunately I put on one sock, then shoe at a time. Ashamed of it but I just do it and I have no clue why

One of the best movies with the premise of a commoner finding "something interesting" is Andhadhun on Netflix. Check it out.

Knock On Wood by Mighty Mighty Bosstones

I think the noir/old Hollywood would fit better with call of cthulu

Caldwell should go on Hot Ones! The show with hot questions, and even hotter wings

STAND UP WIPER TRUTHERS FINALLY

Speaking of the worst place to eat, last year my friend got last place our Fantasy Football league and had to eat a full lunch on a hot summer day in a port-a-potty. The lunch consisted of a tuna sandwich, Funyuns, and a glass of milk.

Definitely making a “tasty dangle” shirt after all this wiener talk

Hands down Chick-fil-A Fries 🍟 are the best

I think I have a Caldwell "Bert"...AI art

If you want to play a Noir story, DnD/Pathfinder are among the worst choices in TTRPGs. You don't want hit points, classes and levels in a grounded realistic story. There are hundreds of better systems for it. Remember kids, TTRPGs are more than just DnD.

I own chickens and they’re so brutal

the answer is del taco fries

Murph would run a great Cthulhu game

If you guys decide to do a hot sauce episode/event, i recommend blair's. I'm not a huge hot sauce fanatic but i looooooove spicy food and they're a hometown brand here in jersey (which murph can appreciate!). i add a single drop of the ultra death sauce to my coffee every morning, that's all it takes, and it's incredible

Since you mentioned playing as a commoner again, I'm going to go ahead and recommend this commoner class homebrew: https://www.reddit.com/r/UnearthedArcana/comments/53b1nn/class_the_commoner/ . I used it to run a campaign where the players all started as commoners and it worked great.

Anyone else find weird how Murph hate anchor man and pancakes? What’s up with that?

The potato you lose is scalloped potatoes. There is nothing worth saving in a scalloped potato.

We dip fries into mashed potatoes. 😁

Old Hollywood and Bridgerton...did they just listen to Dungeons and Daddies Patreon episodes?

Had never listened to The Aquabats until today, thanks for the idea 2 Crew! I can see why this would be Caldwell’s vibe, some zany and creative tunes.

Caldwell French toast cooking tutorials…?

Talking about spicy food, Jake's right about tangs that make you go "woo" — a "woo" tang ain't nothing to fuck with.

I'm just saying Sock Shoe Sock Shoe is really helpful if you're in a public place and you don't wanna stand directly on the floor.

On average, my dad sneezes anywhere between 8-15 sneezes in a single burst. He'll go into sneezing fits for easily 10 seconds long at a time

There's a diner by my place that has deep fried french toast. Been a french toast man since

Resident south Texas brown boy here, I’ve NEVER heard “home fries” before. I had to google image it and those my friends, are just called Papas around here lol

Bioshock Infinite is my favorite game of all time! I would pay dvd blu ray price for a Murph dm’d campaign set in the bio shock universe.

It's funny hearing Murph's belief about the pact with cats, because my strongest belief is that humans have an unpayable debt to dogs. We spent thousands of years training and breeding them to our arrogant whims and effectively forcing their evolution to depend on us so that we could have protection and companionship. We absolutely owe them, bare minimum, our stewardship and care.

I think Emily is really humble about the fact that she has a +5 to strength and can lift a car. Other people would make it their whole personality but Emily rarely ever talks about it. So down to earth!

Those campaign ideas all sound incredible, noir absolutely and I love jakes suggestion a Downton Abbey small scale little mini-run. I really hope you do all of these ideas!!

I just realized that this is Seinfeld. Pretty sure there is an episode about a “drenched French”

You guys dispense nostalgic conversations like a 3 star Michelin restaurant…Aquabats and Tony hawk pro skater soundtracks. Chefs kiss!

Hell yeah Santino Marrella’s the GOAT

This party noticing they’re “oops all bards” was very funny

Murphy is greatly underestimating chickens. If we’re over 15 chickens, it’s over. They’re pecking you to death

Hey guys, thank you for answering my question! If you’d be so kind let me editorialize it for you: would you rather every time you sneeze you teleport to a random location in the world (on land) or every time you sneeze you freeze (for 3 seconds but you don’t notice it yourself). Love the show! Greetz from the Netherlands 💪 P.s. My girlfriend and I got to this question on our 1300 mile road-trip to her parents in Spain by doing a bunch of would you rathers to pass the time. The original question said “teleport to a random location in the country you live in” . We ended up arguing that the world would be more fun but as murph said you would scarcely be home anymore. So we agreed on freezing every time we sneeze.

How tf do you wipe your ass sitting down... like how do you reach it...? I dnt want to have to google this...

HBK wrestled Bret Hart, and everyone knows that rivalry was super professional and everything went perfectly fine with that feud

How has no one mentioned Murph standing to wipe his but until he was 17? This baffled my wife for hours and I've tried not to think about it because it upsets me to no end

Big ups to the hashbrown shout out

Just have to add to the potato/fries discussion: You absolutely have to try a twice baked potato. They take FOREVER but it’s totally worth it. And for fast food fries: Jack in the Box curly fries are the best

After hearing the crew talk about their own personal stats, it makes me really want to hear them play "End of the World" by FFG. Listening to them playing a TTRPG verson of themselfs attempting to survive the apocalypse would be top tier.

Hear me out: if you’re clumsy, Dex is not your dump stat, you just have disadvantage on your dex saving throw

Murph having a menty b over the would you rather question is peak Brian behavior

Desperately and impatiently waiting for Murph’s bioshock old Hollywood Murder mastery.

I remember my Dad drinking his coffee on the toilet lol he always had a coffee

Caldwell, I highly recommend you listen to any of the Friends at the Table mecha seasons (Counter/Weight, Twilight Mirage, Partizan, and Palisade) if you wanna get ideas for mecha ttrpg concepts. I think you’d love it

Just because you guys were joking about bird math the first non human animal to ever be observed doing math was Alex the Parrot an African Grey there’s a great book about him and the incredible woman who was the scientist who trained him

(Vampire?) Noir, Hollywood Murder Mystery, BIOSHOCK type setting, maybe even a Solarpunk setting? 👀

I think you guys could make a vary good call of cthulu campaign

Noir DND?!?! Please do that!!!

The overall lack of serious consideration / respect for hash browns and pancakes was wild 😘

Night guys finish task.

My palate continues to be very different from the naddpod crew's. I'm closest to Caldwell, before he changes his opinions as soon as Murph challenges them.

A short old-Hollywood-murder-mystery campaign would be SO fun to see (or hear lol)

I was so glad to hear the immediate drop of pancakes from a majority. My friends all razz me for choosing waffles but they are superior.

In my opinion about trying a bunch of different fries is that you guys would need to record while on the road so you can get the freshest, crispiest, right out of the oil fries as possible. because warm, hot and cold fries do all hit different

How was the first question not pancake, waffles or crepes ? French toast is another level same as crepes

listening to the potato segment as a non-american felt like deciphering code

Burger King fries are really bad and this is not up for debate

A murder mystery campaign with the Call of Cthulhu system would be cool

All the food questions are giving some big zoom adventuring party "this is a food podcast" vibes. It's so great to see because Murph and Emily couldn't make those adventuring parties (for the most part).

Dang now I'll never know what their favorite Anchorman quotes are.

All our two crew outside of Jake are acting like they have never seen a breakfast buffet!! I am with ya Jake, been to those awesome breakfast buffets with your sweet treat options as well as a delicious omelette bar attached. Breakfast buffets are the best buffets

YOU WILL REGRET THIS SNUB JACOB jk loved this uwu

After Murph described Emily as “Macho Man” Randy Savage I cracked up and had to comment because my cat’s name is “Macho Man” Kitty Savage (Macho for short).

I want the noir story so baddd

old hollywood murder mystery sounds SO FUN!!!

Shocking to me that mashed potatoes didn’t make the cut

Thanks for taking the question, honestly wasn’t expecting it. Truth be told, I’m not sure it’d take more than maybe a dozen or two chickens to make it life threatening for me. Especially if they’re motivated.

Caldwell on ai was I think the most burt he's ever been, which I respect just bring it up cause it was the most burt I've heard him

"A commoner that knowx something." This is often call of Cthulhu type games

Listening to the potato discussion as a day 1 GOAT Show listener had me checking if Jake's opinions had changed...

Have you guys never had a twice baked potatoes? Basically the loaded mixed together in a baked shell with cheese ontop! So good!

Best fast food fries are for sure smashfries from smashburger. Even the tater tot version is good.

You guys should do some call of cthulu you can get your old timey holleywood noir, that would be awesome.

Potato? How did no one pick vodka?

Caldwell Berted HARD about AI art and everyone was in such new territory that they just let him speak his piece and move on

I love hearing Murph and Caldwell argue

Hey just for reference when elephants try and k*ll people they don’t stomp, they try and squish you with their foreheads. They have a pretty good understanding of how heavy they are, and their forehead is flat enough that it’s a good crushing surface!

Jake ordering at the buffet is crabster all over again

Glad y’all answered my question on breakfast foods. Personally I’m a FT>Pancakes>Waffles

I love the wrestler breakdown. As a 90s and early 2000s watcher those guys were right in my wheelhouse. Shawn Michaels was my favorite! When he retired it just wasn't the same for me. I was also over them trying to redo the 90s storylines with 2000s censorship.

ooh, exquisite corpse soup

The parsnip disrespect has me seething

The Bert/Ernie dichotomy, especially in relation to the 2 crew, makes so much sense to me because my husband and I had an in-depth conversation just last night about how if we ever met y'all, I would get along best with Murph and Jake because I'm a little more law and my husband would get along better with Emily and Caldwell because he's a being of pure chaos (literally nicknamed Mayhem).

My favorite thing about these episodes is when Murph gets so mad that his speech devolves into unintelligible screaming.

I have to enter here. I am very overweight so I can’t understand how anyone can wipe sitting down. I was taught to stand and have been doing it ever since. Please reply with just “sit” or “stand” because i am curious at how many people do either in a bunch

I only listen to mixed bags, who are these eldermourn characters?

Well now I want Murphy to run the Worldwide Wrestling RPG!

The only dnd podcast that hasn’t done a flintstones campaign

Talk about an entertaining Friday afternon! Y'all are too kind!

Hi! Love your show but couldn’t help noticing that you haven’t done a lvl 1-20 Flintstones campaign yet? What gives?

First

Thank you!