D&D Court Bonus Cases - Missing Lizards, Water-Walking Horses & Medieval Times
Court is back from recess! Supreme Crit Justices Murphy, Axford, and Tanner are here to resolve more of your cases. Dungeon Bailiff Jake presents! Thanks to everyone who submitted.
Comments (75)
No idea if this was mentioned as this is literally over 5 years old but the locked airship punishment about kicking in doors to steal things reminded me of Dane Cook's joke about doing a BnE, Breaking and Entering. Spoilers: the joke is about Dane wanting to do a breaking and entering and just literally staking the house, kicking down every door and then just leaving.
:D
The origins of the dice Christ confessional!
Something happened like this on critical role or D20 and the players were punished for not saying they locked the door, and it felt bad to me like it was unreasonable/petty. But in real life I always lock the door and double check, I don’t announce it every time, and it’s not fun to stop the flow and dialogue to announce things like, I locked the door, I take a sip of water, I take a bathroom break every single time
I worked with horses for about 6 years so I do have anecdotes. I have ridden horses both in the ocean (about knee-height on the horse so they're mostly walking) and ridden horses fully into rivers (basically beyond a certain depth the horse starts swimming and you're doing a weird combo of holding on/treading water on their backs). How challenging it is really depends on if the horse likes water or not, but it's definitely doable.
Purp seems like the quintessential "person who doesn't smoke wants to make le epic funny weed character" so it doesn't surprise me they don't know how edibles work.
Okay. So I’m a former horse girl and horses are afraid of EVERYTHING they also have ZERO depth perception, so to them a puddle looks like a black void. It would be VERY difficult to get a horse to go through or across a river without any issues.
I’ll mention that horses can swim though. Wild horses in Maryland swim between islands annually, so a river shouldn’t be an issue to my mind.
I'm British so I have a nursery rune for the rainbow, red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue. I can see a rainbow, see a rainbow, see a rainbow too
horses can swim...
After hearing about the horse campiagn idea, now they need to do a Tales of Equestria one-shot
Dude gimme that gumbo recipe and I will put weed in it
it seems like many people in the comments know how to eat weed, which i don't know how to do. but I do know how to make gumbo. so if you made weed butter and needed weed soup you could just make a lot of gumbo because you need a good amount of fat to make a roux (for the gumbo base)
Weed needs to be decarboxylated before it has a cerebral effect. So if should be made into butter, oil, or alcohol to work. So putting weed in a soup to boil would only have basically the effect of a CBD product. No, munching a bud is only a psychosomatic effect that some people claim to feel but is not chemically legit.
You do not get high. I ate a bunch freshman year of high school to hide it and not get caught. Just had SUPER dank weed farts for like the rest of the day.
Honestly I'd tell the dm that stole the lizard to f off and not come back
One of these reminded me of the time that my DM said that I hadn't been feeding my animal companion because I didn't specify that I had. I was a druid I certainly would have been feeding him.
Has anyone found the table of 100 encounters that person used for the "Lost in the woods" session that one question was about? It sounds awesome and I'd love to see it. I just listened to both of these D&D Court episodes in a row, so forgive me if it was the other episode.
All the horse harm is really just Jake tapping in to hardwon
I work with horses. Hearing sooo many cases have to do with horses is so great. Usually I don’t feel the need to add anything to your sentences, but I just have to chime in with the issue of getting horses to walk on water. In real life, you have to have a very strong bond or at the very least, an extremely high Animal Handling skill in order to convince a horse to walk through even the smallest puddle or stream. This is because horses have no depth perception, so to them a small puddle could be a bottomless pit. While Jake is right that once one horse is convinced to walk on water, the others would follow much easier, they may still be jumpy and difficult to control/stay on. If I were the DM, I would have required not only an initial high-DC animal handling check, but I would require multiple as they crossed (roll initiative for turn-based gameplay), as well as riding checks to stay on if the horses decided to bolt.
The court greatly underestimates the stubbornness of a horse. It would be much easier to have the horses try and wade into the stream instead of walk on the water via a spell.
Dice Christ Confessional= Dashboard Confessional and I won't hear otherwise.
The only way that weed can be consumed and work is if the THC has already been activated and still remains in the leaf. This happens really only after it has been used in a vaporizer/volcano. While most of the thc is vaporized and consumed by the user, it is not all sucked out. There is a great amount of THC left in the leaf that should be browned. I highly recommend using leftover flower that has been vaporized in a weed butter/oil, as it is a cheap way to make butter and you are using all of the available THC. With that being said, you can take the leftover cannabis and throw it on a piece of toast with some peanut butter and get high. As someone already mentioned, weed cannot be directly consumed fresh to get high, the THC must be activated. In the case of a stu, the weed would get hot and the thc released with nothing to bond to and it would boil away. Other way though, is you can out some nuggs in a bottle of vodka and create a cannabis elixir by letting it sit and having the alcohol slowly over time stress the nug to release the THC. I hope this information has been helpful
I am not joking when I say I would 100% support Blasting Grandma having a 1 off character arc.
Tails of Equestria - The Storytelling Game : Bitches be horses.
Just as a side bar- you don’t need oil to make edibles you need fat! THC is fat soluble, butter or any other kind of will fat work. As long as it’s been de-carbed (heated to activate the THC - usually in an oven) then slipping in a stew would definitely get you high. Please don’t eat your weed.
I mean....you can eat abv weed since the plant matter has already been heated
Kudos to y’all not getting more riled up over the wine incident - felt pretty tone deaf of people to actually try to ruin property (particularly not their own) for a gag.
Okay that intro is way too long, rofl felt like I was in a fever dream by the half way point
Respectful disagreement.
While horses can be afraid of water I don’t imagine a horse trained to be an adventurers horse would be unless role played that way. I think the modern day equivalent to what adventurers would use if not a warhorse would be an endurance horse. I do distance events and also just trail ride with my own and had to put very little training into crossing water for them. In fact one of my horses I have to keep from trying to flop down or go swimming if it’s a deeper river because she loves water. So I agree if a handling check is going to be used it should be very low unless the horses were role played to have problems previously.
while horses are very spooky animals, they can be trained to cross water. my teacher’s horses have to run through water when she does cross country events and theyre not even badass adventuring horses
As a zealous devotee of the Church of Dice, there is nothing I would love more than a Dice Christ Confessions with (actual) Father Caldwell.
I can't be the only one hearing two points of the new theme song sounding like smashmouth, is that down to the melody being similar? This knowledge is too much for me
Emily, I too was convinced that I was an alien as a kid! I am not alone.
I was too!! Is this a thing?? Are we special??
A socialist character having a horse named Trotsky is thoroughly admirable.
Still not over this intro music!!! ❤️♥️❤️♥️
On the horses and the river- as a long time horse rider I can tell you horses are COWARDS unless trained otherwise. Like trained warhorses are a totally different animal than a typical trail horse! Having known a(n admittedly anxious) pony that refused to walk over a slightly discolored part of the trail for a good minute before we coaxed him, assuming mounts were for travel not battle (or otherwise trained for river crossings) an animal handling check would be warranted!
Murph your gospel on Dice Christ has me CONVERTED praise be
To each according to his need From each according to his steed
pleeeease do crit confessions, I have one off the top of my head that I really need to confess to 🥲
IRL I really dislike someone who says yes to something asked respectfully and then resent the other for it. It's so toxic. Don't do that kids. About the GMs who say "well you didn't tell me you did that obvious thing!" the answer is to point out that it wouldn't be much of a game if the players had to always say that they put their clothes, that they take their weapons, that they lock the door, that they go to the loo before leaving, also every time that they inhale or exhale!
no no it's totally fair and fun for the DM to tell you your whole party has died 5 sessions in because you never specifically said you're eating
Is it just me or have there been like three questions about casting water walk on horses in this series lmao
Random comment, but a lot of horses are naturally afraid of water, especially if it's running water and they need to be trained to be able to go in water/swim
This d&d courts are super funny but i miss the bagging it with Balnor. Maybe one mixed bag yall do another with the third mates or like Bev/Zirk/Hungry Dave interviews the trinyvale crew etc...
I also miss Balnor...but..May I suggest "bookvars Buds" (working title) which I a baggin it style show with bookvar as the host, and the third mates as roving reporters doing segments on the political state of Eldermourne, Fia could do specials on book shops, and local athletics events, Hank does the shipping forecast and shank has a Shadow food segment, Zirk is the sci-tech reporter as well as youth affairs in and around the crux! I mean...I'd hit subscribe on that pod! Lol
I live for the ass-munching discourse.
Sorry to be a bit shitty, but it would be really cool if that theme song could be whittled down to 10ish seconds or so. It's kind of amusing to hear the first time as an I-get-that-reference type of thing, but a minute+ for every episode is a lot to ask for something that's not actually that enjoyable (sorry!) to listen to.
don’t apologize for not liking something. have your opinion and stick by it.
Oily Stu. The brother of Steely Dan. Both great bands.
Re/ grass druid, edibles take longer to kick in than just smoking, and are harder to dose appropriately when homemade, so they'd need to wait around for at least 30-45 minutes for the guards to feel the effects
@25:00- stroll for initiative
Please do a Dice Christ confessions!! I have one that’s eating me alive!
Separation of church and state does not exist in the dnd court
Does Dice Christ wear crocs? Should he?
Re horse blood. I've found in my life that a lot of these conflicts stem from a differing sense of what asking a favour means. Some people, like me, feel that it's totally OK to say no when asked for something, and so we're more likely to ask for things since we don't put too much weight on it. Other people that I know reserve requests like that for things they really need, and won't ask otherwise, and so they assume that when you ask them for something they're obligated to provide it. I feel like the vamp and the horse owner are each of these types, and they need to align their understanding of one another's subtext.
I condensed the story but I had asked via messager we use to play if I could and he said yes and asked again in game if I could do it and he said yes straight away. The battle was between two games so he had plenty of time to think about it.
For the DM who Misty Stepped after being Counterspelled, I believe the DM is correct. Misty Step is a BA spell so they would have said bonus action to Misty Step. RETRIBUTION!!!
I think the problem was that while yes they still had a bonus action left in their action economy, they couldn’t cast a spell with it since they’d already cast a spell for their action, and there’s a one-spell-per-turn rule! that’s all the problem was
Waited all work day this, it dropped 10 mins before I got off :(
You cannot just eat weed. Gotta bind to fat at high temperature. If the druid just put weed in - probably no good. However, if he made weed butter beforehand he could just drop that in.
Please do a Dice Christ Confessional Mixed Bag! I have a great confession from the session I DMd last night
Please dear Crit Justices and esteemed Bailiff Jake, Dice Christ confessionals need to be a thing.
I'm 5 minutes in to this ep and it has already proven this pod is worth every penny. 👌🏻
Omg the song. XD I was not prepared for this. Hahaha just amazing!
All rise for our Supreme Crits, Murphy, Axford, and Tanner. Oh and that one guy
With love, Supreme Dungeon Bailiff Jake 🙃
The first time I heard the new opening, I thought it was Jake, Caldwell, and Murph singing
Wait it's not 😭
OMG THE OPENING MUSIC IS SO GOOD!!
Yes, bosmang!
I know this was on the main feed ep too, but when I first heard the intro music I actually screamed hahahah
Hear ye hear ye the court has resumed! #BringBeardsleytothetable