Long Ass UPdate - why I've been gone TLDR

I just put out a notice that there is no upcomming fee for this month as I am unable to host videos. During the past two months I've been homeless, yes, not upset to say it but it does come with a bunch of production difficulties having little access to my tech, let alone pool.

To get out of the homeless situation I have taken a job at D!sney in costuming, so that I can find money for rent before my credit plunges and I am unable to get into a basic apartment. I obfuscated their name because obviously - they are completely fam friendly and I do not wish to be searched or found and intimated that my hobby is in anyway connected to their company.

I am an artist, who for the last 4 years has been severely mentally ill. Yes, it's true, 4 years ago I suffered a major burnout that took away everything from cognition, speech, ability to look after myself etc etc etc. It's not an excuse, it was a big lesson, to ONLY do what I love, and never assume to push myself to do what conformity expects of me.

THIS PLATFORM has helped me so much on the slow recovery from a major cognitive deficit. There were times, even when my speech came back, I could only speak for max hour a day, and I was GRATEFUL for the pandemic, locking everyone down into the same hold pattern that I was and just giving me a chance to recover in a rent-free accomodation.

Post pandemic, that opportunity is gone, and I must begin to integrate back into real world responsibilities. This is a HUGE step for me, as I have been unable for the last 4 years to maintain a sleep cycle, and not only that, any pressure I felt related to any demand from me, sent me backwards.

Unfortunately I had vested all my credit into NuwaMedusa, leaving no room for anything to go wrong - which it did. Cashflow in a new business is impossible without others to do the marketing, or the proper investment to cover start-up costs. I could not even pull off the effort to launch Indiegogo after much effort editing development movies and material. Not that I'd lost hope - this was the only thing I could do. I never think about "not being able to, or can't do" that's why I plunge into opportunity with zeal.

But inspite of the looming lack of cashflow or ability to move forward with my start up, the rent-free accomodation had come to an end. Our house-sitting was now over and we had to move out upon the rather fast sale of the delapidated property we had been guarding from burglaries for the past 3 years. There were many attempts of break in, and I confronted intruders 3 times to scare them away. One in particular was a serial and well known by the police as a con artist. She had organized a fake "Security team" to evict me and was extremely aggressive, confrontational, and the whole thing was pretty stressful - but of course we had been charged with this job of protecting the property during and after the pandemic. So no worries.

We had not the time to find a new apartment. And time has run out. Moving around every week, living off remaining credit, whilst job hunting, and all my lab and belongings in storage is a severe situation. During this transitional period, I realized all hobbies were a cost I could not afford to support, everything.

Pools, costumes, editing resources and time, performing time, planning time, prop making etc etc, this is all a hobby I can not afford, and now, without costumes, access to a pool, ability to do editing or much else, I have faced the reality I must get a job, and reintegrate with the workforce. NOT EASY as my skills are considered "uncertified, out-of-date, inexperienced INSPITE of having a degree" AND I'm about to lose the car. Without transport, I can't even get to work. And I still have trouble with my cognitive issues.

So I have taken a job at D!sney at the lowest level, just to get some money flowing and steady myself. I have to do a full psychiatric and neurologic evaluation in order to fine tune my medication to enable me to sustain work hours - which I have not been able to do for the last 4 years.

I start at the end of the month, unfortunately not earlier as I am food insecure. During this period of downtime, I am able to once again look at all my online activities and roll back some of these expenditure commitments. All my online hosting fees must stop as I cut expenditure down to the line. And since Patreon was originally intended to be my video and underwater play outlet, this is now on hiatus until I decide what to do with the platform, or how to evolve it where I am no longer hosting videos.

Facebook restricted my account the other day for promoting content on this platform saying that it "broke community guidelines" so I can't even promote this Patreon Channel as it is considered adult. I appealed their judgement, and although my account was reinstated, the effort to spread word even about this platform is proving a responsibility I must also cut.

I am therefore no longer wasting precious time on promoting any of my channels in favor of simply looking for work. While I am waiting to start at D!sney, I'm training myself on 3D visualizations and developing my portfolio of fabrication and engineering, such that I may be of more value to the artist/engineer/creative production industry - as my resume is spotty over the last few years.

NONE of this is a complaint, it's just what it is, I'm ALWAYS productive, and this line of activity is a drain not an income. So I will look at "re-organizing" this outlet now that the video hosting is gone, to determine what other things I can share instead on my creative journey. My creative journey never stops, I can't help it, I live art. I'm always trying new things, but for now, creativity has to take a back seat until I can find my feet again, out of this homeless situation.

I have not openly talked about this on social media, because I hate having to explain to a million people one at a time "what happened to my business". It's a startup! And I can't afford to invest in it at the moment! People don't get it. That i spend $1000 on a drum of silicone, add to that machinery, and other resins and blends for product development. Start ups, drain not only my work-for-free, but rack up a massive debt of material assets.

I'll be hawking off some of my creations to some sex-shops just to get subsistence money to last me the next two weeks.

Thanks for all your support!

I just can't pay for my hobby anymore.