2 hours of artistic videos a month
30 hours of editing, 20 Gb of uploads a month, 2 shoots a week, one Megashoot For the Poster Shot per month, all for Patreon.
Infact - my current consulting job and illustration job has taken a bit of a sidestep this month while I got this Channel up and running. My clients have limited call bookings with me because I’ve really pushed myself to do these shoots.
I love doing it, I can’t describe. While the sun is out and I focus on my training rituals, I’m eyeing how the sun paints my ivory tower of peace and tranquility. It has never always been this way, for in life leading up to these moments, I had suffered immensely and been traumatized to the point of de-realization.
I returned to America completely numb and wasted after career and emotional burnout. In the background I remember the warnings of a virus in China. But I struggled daily to even brush my hair. Or recognize myself. Life was a fog, and as I sat in my new safe home overlooking the green scum pool. I had only the energy to work on client documentary projects and not even get dressed during the day.
And one day, on the 1st June, someone came to clean the pool as I watched from the ivory tower, as the room lit up and reflections danced off my desk and ceiling through the window. It was time to live again. And as you know, ever since the days of YouTube I had always recorded these moments to escape back to and study later... so, for the first time in years, I documented my first step into the pool in my sheer kimono. It was glorious and and needed a special place to be hosted. Patreon.
For no sooner than I had uploaded it, it woke the YouTube monster that I didn’t want to have to deal with anymore. Not one more emotionally nagging comment. I didn’t want to take on anymore. Time to feed myself with joy, and not to feed that monster anymore. In one month I had noticed the difference in healing. And I wanted to progress even more.
Thank you all so much for helping me to heal. By recognizing me and becoming my patron, it’s like you bought a coffee and sat down with me for a real conversation. I feel human once more. And I can’t thank you all enough.
Stickers are arriving this week, some of the many small gifts and perks I plan on sending out as thank you tokens. Patreon will prompt you to fill in your postal address. Keep an eye out!
Comments (3)
Oh I think people do appreciate it, but they take it for granted. That’s what hurts. I put so much time and love into making these self portraits, but 90% of the time (and this is not for the most part subscribers, but hit and run comments). I used to have to put up with “what other people want to do with me” as if that’s some fun flirtatious thing to hear. Which it isn’t. Only today in a group I was browsing of my favorite things, some guy thought it was ok to state how he wanted to “slap her ass” and I’m genuinely saddened by it. Really. I’ve actually been out in parties wearing catsuits - and guys think it’s appropriate to pinch and snap my suit “to see if it’s really rubber”. Like... don’t do that. Don’t even think that’s ok. It’s too late - this guy did it and he thought that was ok. I’m offended. And this guy is stupid. And I do not like stupid guys that pretend to be ignorant for a pinch of my body parts. I like smart guys. I like dedicated guys. I do not like guys that insist on protecting their ignorance for a cheap thrill. I don’t get how they are so free to comment these things they want to do, and not feel ashamed as though their mother was there. That other guys support their shameful exposure of unwanted deplorable actions they want to inflict or have me Puppet for them. It’s too much and I’m done and over my limit.
I don't know, don't understand how people could not appreciate your artistic videos, but then again, most social media platforms have their fair share of idiocracy. I'm just glad that I am a part of this special endeavor, and get to watch your intimate soul glistening in your watery palace/sanctuary. The photos, the videos are all top notch, first class perfection 🥰😍😘🤗⭐💎🔥🔥🔥
And I’m also grateful for you sitting with me for hours having real talk. 🥰