My other day job, is other people’s nightmares.

Being an artist for hire means I have to visualize things for others - and I’m paid to do it. My skills come from the sinuous texture of anatomy study. And fluid gestures of water and ink.

As a paid artist, I’m giving life to other people’s imaginations... and they usually ask me for terrifying things. To draw things of horror. Blood and spatter. Well, I know what real fear is, I’ve been there before, but painting it, is not a hobby nor a purge.

It’s a job.

This is another reason I do the art I do with my body - to celebrate beauty, strength, grace and all those things I merely wish to feel, instead of horror. Instead of daily nightmares. Instead of psychosis on occasion. But luckily that hasn’t returned.

Nothing scares me now. Except the memories my nervous system won’t let go of. The monster inside that creeps up on me. That scares me and makes me flinch and shudder. But horror films? Nope. I bring to life other people’s fears, while I try to get rid of my own. Ironic that.