I’m shutting down comments on my YouTube Channel
YouTube has been a source of great distress for me. Today I received a comment from a lady that asked me to reshoot one of my realise swimsuit videos so she could get a better view of my ass.
The penny dropped. I have been toiling over what to do with my YouTube Channel with over 4 million views in admiration, yet a source of constant mental anguish for me. Patreon has made me realize I don’t have to put up with it.
Look, I think bodies are amazing, beautiful, sexual, they are for the purpose of our own happiness. We must take joy in our bodies while we have them. Celebrate the exquisite gift we are given to love it and maintain it, look after it, allow it to serve us.
All I ever want to do, is appreciate my body for the beauty and experience it has given me. Wipe away the tarnish from my previous lives of abused torment. And not just be comfortable in my own skin, but really grateful to be in it.
Loving ones own body, is an art. Is an artform. That continual creation is my catharsis from which I expel all the bad stuff of sexual abuse I endured at the hands of people that consumed me for their glutton.
This is what YouTube has become to me. People are welcome to consume my art and enjoy it for whatever purpose. But, I do not wish to be the projection of their gluttony. The instruction on how I am to perform FOR THEM only takes me back to the emotional stage of my ruined childhood. And traumatized womanhood.
I feel raped by their eyes, instead of honored and loved. Why am I even posting free content on YouTube to subject myself to this everyday? So I’m stopping. People can’t behave appropriately so that doorway of access to me is now closed.
I loved the platform and what it allowed me to do initially - host a place for my expressions. But I do not love the constant source of “do this for me - for nothing” one way consumption of my efforts. It harms me. It hurts me.
I am truly glad to have met you all here. This place filters out the gluttonous projection I receive on YouTube, for those that are truly appreciate of what I’m doing instead.
I’m not a prude, I am glad you see beauty and sexuality in what I’m doing. For that is what makes us human, but over here you’ve set yourselves apart by enabling me to do whatever I want to do with your patronage.
In my next post I’ll list a few things I’ve budgeted for to enable preparations for my next megashoot! I’m so excited because I’m timing it with my upcoming birthday! I’ll be 43!
Comments (6)
I like my butt. I like all my body parts. I’m uncomfortable being asked to do things in general - it’s a big trigger for me. So I turned off comments on YouTube because of the few that think it’s OK to ask things from me. Others were just disgusting. I can’t unsee comments once they hurt me.
That YouTube commenter definitely was out of line acting like the “director” of YOUR video. Having said that, I bet most everyone here would agree that seeing more of your lovely ass is not a bad thing...
Thanks Jonathan - I’ve always done whatever I wanted - even at the ridicule of “friends” who say I invite these comments by posting my butt. But I think they are gaslit too. Everyone is sexual. My sexuality is not on display. That’s something I haven’t even talked about. Sexuality is not taboo to me. What is taboo, is directing me and telling me what to do for someone else’s sexual gratification. I could go into a heap of weird things that I find erotic, but that is never an invitation to hear anyone’s interpretation on what I would do for them. Ew. I am not a toy.
Bravo! If it doesn’t feel right or doesn’t make you feel good don’t do it! To hell with anyone that doesn’t appreciate you for simply being you. We love you and look forward to seeing how you decided to express yourself!
I don’t want guys to feel offended that I’m lashing out against them - it’s not that at all. I just feel drained over there like there is a percentage of people who literally think I don’t have feelings of my own. I am just there to perform for THEMSELVES. They aren’t even aware I have other viewers and girls who look up to me seeing those comments hurts me. Girls want to grow up and be happy with their bodies, but they see how I am being objectified and it saddens me.
I’m glad to hear you are giving up all the trolls on tube tube. They don’t appreciate your art...low life pond scum if you ask me.