MEET VITO

Hey everybody! I wanted to check in and thank all of patrons, both new and old. Your support is helping me get to the point where I can almost afford to do comedy full-time, and I am super excited about all the new projects I'm now working on (obviously including the reboot of THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE UNIVERSE podcast).

For those of you who only know me from The Dick Show, I figured I'd make this post as a bit of an introduction to me and some of the stuff I do.

I moved to California about ten years ago, hoping to make it as a comedian / writer. I did some standup, wrote a bunch of scripts and even filmed my own pilot (which I may post someday), but none of it ever really went anywhere. So I just kept stumbling around taking on odd jobs and writing for shitty websites, all while wondering if anything I did would ever get traction. I started to wonder if maybe the kind of things I found funny just weren't appealing to a mainstream audience.

In 2016 I reached probably at my lowest point. I had moved to Oakland for what I had been told would be my dream job: the head of video production for a brand new game publisher. Unfortunately they went bankrupt almost immediately, leaving me stuck in a crime-ridden shithole with a rent check I couldn't afford, a girlfriend that hated me, and a 95 Honda Civic which some punk kids decided to steal and then push off a cliff. I also finished the novel I'd ben working on for ten years, realized it was dogshit, and haven't touched it since. 

So, as one does when they've reached the bottom of the creative barrel: they start a YouTube channel. In January of 2017 I began posting crappy little rants and skits to my channel. Really dumb stuff (including the first appearance of JonBong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNW7FO4unJY). I managed to get a hundred subscribers or so, and made it my goal to try and get a thousand by the end of the year.

Then I made "THE PEPSI VIDEO" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7u3uhKxNPNg)

The video was a very random idea I had. Riff on the recent Kendall Jenner ad which everyone was mad about, by actually bringing Pepsi to a protest and seeing what happened. Perhaps what's most noteworthy about the video is that it almost didn't get made. The night before I was visiting my buddy Tim's house to record our weekly gaming stream which nobody watched. But right before we started I told him "Tim, I have this really stupid idea and I need to go buy a GoPro before Best Buy closes." We cancelled the stream and I went and bought a GoPro, and that stupid decision basically changed my entire life. 

In a month I went from 150 subscribers to 60,000. The video had millions of views, and thousands of comments about how funny it was. It was the best feeling ever, like I finally had something I could point to and say "hey, I'm actually funny." Like I'd finally proven it to myself.

I managed to find a new car and moved down to LA, breaking up with my girlfriend and taking three of our five cats (the good ones). I was a bit high on my own supply, and expected the channel to keep blowing up, but I honestly had no idea what I was doing and I think people could tell (honestly, I still have no idea what I'm doing).

Then for no reason whatsoever, I decided to review a six month old Star Wars movie. Since "Ten Reasons why The Last Jedi is a Cinematic Abortion" would've gotten flagged, I went with the pointless title:

The Last Jedi: a Complete Cinematic Failure: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ECwhB21Pnk)

Nine million views later and I now have the most watched Last Jedi review in the entire world. If you search for "Last Jedi" on YouTube I'm the first thing that comes up. I did not plan for this! I just wanted to ripoff RedLetterMedia and rant about a dumb sci-fi movie. But from there I realized that that there's a bit of a market for loudmouths yelling about franchises, so I've stuck with it.

That being said, though I've kind of gotten a reputation as a "movie guy" or whatever, my real passion is still honest-to-god scripted comedy, and I try to find room to produce it when I can. This is why a lot of people also know me as "the guy that vaped Belle Delphine's bathwater" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-S-GZU2cYY).

This was a very stupid video, and I still cannot remember why I thought it was a good idea, and even now I'm not sure if it was. But it was out there and it was viral, because very stupid people believe very stupid things. This is how I found my way onto THE DICK SHOW, a podcast hosted by the great Dick Masterson. For some reason we seemed to hit it off rather quickly, and the fact that he lived less than an hour from me made it possible for me to guest on his show semi-regularly (to the delight of some of his fans, and the severe ire of others).

2020 was a shitty year, between COVID and my dad dying, but I began slowly trying out new formats and finding things that worked. Now in 2021 I'm still stumbling to organize my life a bit better, but I've got a new bi-weekly show with Andy Signore called BEST MOVIE EVER which is pretty enjoyable (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7hxVyxk3bQ). I'll also be doing TBPITU bi-weekly with Dick, which I'm hoping people like (though I am worried about disappointing the longtime fanbase! Be gentle with me!). I'm working on another "Cinematic Failure" review and have even started making plans for an animated pilot me and a friend are going to try and pitch around Hollywood. My semi-regular live show "THE VITO SHOW" will also hopefully return once my cohost's father finishes getting a kidney transplant, and I'm going to try and make it so Patrons get priority access for calling in or sending voicemails.

So yeah, thanks to everybody who is helping make it possible for me to do all these things without having to waste my time with shitty freelance work. I'm finally making things for myself instead of for other people, and it feels awesome. I'm going to try and keep this Patreon active with more updates on things I'm working on, and exclusive little content for you guys. As always, don't be afraid to drop a message and say hi, I'm always happy to hear from you guys. Ya'll are the real MVPs, putting the fat man on your back.

Stay safe, wear a condom.

#VITONATION 2021