Chapter 8: The Calm

The next few days were, more or less, uneventful. The men trained every evening and I was expected to practice sword drills with them. The forms were definitely different to what I had practiced back in my university days and these were far more efficient and deadly. Not a single move was wasted and these knights were obviously not interested in duelling or fencing. The fights were to the ‘death’, and I ‘died’ a lot. Every strike I tried was brutally countered and then returned, and I had no chance of making it out of a fight ‘alive’.

But I pushed on. After all, though I was sure that I didn’t want to join the Iron Shield, at least not with this group; I had no idea what I needed to do with myself. But I wanted to keep my options open. As open as possible at least. I knew that Erica would want to stay near her sister and Asha was headed somewhere called the Isle of St. Stephan for her mage training, wherever that was, I would need to find something there I guessed. And because I didn’t want to dictate Erica’s path for her (and it became extremely apparent she was sticking by my side for the foreseeable future) I felt I had to follow Asha around so I wouldn’t be forcing Erica to pick between her perception of duty and her sister.

It made sense in my mind. And chatting with Laura along the way certainly seemed to solidify this. Laura seemed to be coming around to the idea that I really was only treating Erica as a slave at the superficial level, and that I didn’t truly believe that I ‘owned’ her or anything like that.

Asha and Erica would chat with me as we walked, or Asha would grill Laura for information about the Wizards’ Collective whilst Erica and I listened in, both of us were as much in the dark as much as Asha was.

And whilst I was never much of one for hiking in my previous life, I must admit that the casual and pleasant conversation with the girls over the few days was making me warm up to the idea of it. There was certainly something relaxing about the simplicity of the lifestyle. You needed to get from one place to another, you walked there, and it took as long as it took; the slower pace was nice.

Asha seemed to open up more to me as well as we walked and there soon became an obvious split, with most of the Knights at the front, the girls, Laura and I a fair way behind them, and the Captain and Gregory bringing up the rear, seemingly in deep conversation.

Asha and Erica would tell me about the boys in their village that they had crushes on as children, the work they did in the fields with their father, the cooking and weaving that they did with their mother and I found that both of them were extremely well accomplished young women for their age. Compared to 18 and 19 year-old girls from modern day Earth, these girls were highly skilled and experienced. Sure, they didn’t have the academic education that modern schooling would have provided… but in other ways, they were far more prepared for life. The first two days of walking I found that I was growing very fond of the three women, for even though Laura was part of the Iron Shield, she didn’t seem at all like the other Knights who were grim and emotionally distant.

I felt that I was actually making some new friends in my new life, and I just hoped that circumstance would let me keep them.

The second night after leaving the village however, Captain Deriostos sparred with me personally and it was obvious he wanted to chat. He took me a few paces away from the camp under the pretence of training, but it was only after a couple of bouts, during which our footwork had, coincidently, moved us further away, when he stopped and eyed me cautiously.

“You realise she’s playing you, boy?” he started, leaning against a tree. “The elf girl. She’s only playing along to stay with her sister. She’s not interested in you.”

I chuckled. It was interesting being in a younger body. I could see the fatherly figure act in full swing and as a forty-year-old man myself, I saw through the façade of concern. But I had to play this carefully, a confrontation would leave me without contacts in this new world, and on the other hand I didn’t want the Captain to think that I owed him anything for giving me ‘advice’.

“Well, she admitted that to me herself.” I volunteered, which was half true. “I mean, it is pretty obvious, anyway. The way I figure it, the situation will figure itself out. Either she goes with Asha to the Isle of St. Stephan and finds work while Asha does her training, or I’ll ditch her if I take you up on my offer. I can’t imagine I can have a slave hanging around as a knight.”

The words were cruel, but it seemed like they hit the spot with the Captain.

“I’m impressed by you, Mathew. I hope you regain your memories so you can point out your father. I’d like to shake his hand.” He was looking like a proud father himself, and the act was sickening.

I grimaced inwardly but kept up my own façade. “I appreciate the concern, though, Captain, but I’m not about to fall in love with the first pretty head that flashes me a smile. I might look like I’m getting all friendly, but I figure its best she thinks I’m completely taken in so that she keeps me in the loop if she chooses to bolt.”

The Captain’s eyes lit up. “So you suspect her?” His tone was hopeful.

I shook my head. “No, sir. In fact, I believe that both of them are convinced that Asha has no choice but to go to the Wizards’ Collective. But I’m a big fan of contingencies, Sir.”

The Captain nodded. It was obvious that he wanted me loyal to him and suspicious of the girls. If I argued with him, it would put him offside. If I took his advice, he would believe I owed him for it. He’d leverage that against me to try to make me join. But the way I was responding gave him no advantage. He was thinking hard about what to say next.

“Well, I can’t fault you for taking precautions, but I think you’re putting more trust in them than is wise. I guess if they do think you’re on their side they will try to get you to leave with them.”

I nodded, inwardly grimacing at the man. “That’s what I’m hoping, Sir. If they do, I can convince them that it is in their best interests to stay the course and not get themselves into trouble.”

He gave me a curt nod. Something about my final comment seemed to resonate with him, as if he knew something I didn’t. It was unnerving. “Keep your wits about you. Good man.” Then he lifted his sword and the training began again. No more was said from that point until I was dismissed an hour later to collapse in a heap on my bedroll.

Sleep took me rather quickly after I hit the ground and I didn’t even notice Erica slip in beside me and slip an arm around my waist.

The stone bench had been replaced by a pair of wooden chairs in front of a pleasant campfire. The ambiance was warm to offset the stark white surrounds, and I could feel beauty I had felt the first time I had met Bambinae. The love and serenity that the deity radiated was new, but still familiar and I walked over to the spare chair and sat with her, smiling.

“So, I appreciate the entrance; it gave me a way to hide my origins.”

She smirked. “I sense there’s a ‘but’...”

“A warning would have been nice. Being buried alive was... interesting.”

The woman chuckled. For the first time, I realised that she was pregnant, which seemed right and appropriate for some reason.

“So, I’ve made contact for two reasons. One: because you are having some cultural difficulties that I wish to sort out. And two: because you are going to get angry when you wake up, and I want you to understand that it is alright to do so, and I trust you to act in a way that you believe is justified.”

I did not like this line of conversation and furrowed my brow. “What do you mean by that?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “If I could have told you more I would have. Even I am bound by rules. You won’t remember most of this conversation anyway. The only thing your mortal mind can handle are the emotions you will retain.

Namely, shortly after you awaken and you feel angry, I want you to feel righteous and just about it. And know that I support your decisions, whatever they might be.”

I narrowed my eyes. Just like last time, I heard the meaning behind her words spoken. This was all I would receive.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about the first one, actually. How am I supposed to deal with Erica? She’s calling me ‘Master’! I can’t own a slave, it's insane. But every time I resist it’s taken as an insult to her, her family, her honour... how do I make her see sense?”

Bambinae smiled gently at me. “They call it slavery. Or, more accurately: ‘indebted servitude.’ And it is true that the slavery of your world was horrific, abusive and wrong. But let me ask you this: if you are forced to take Erica, or any other person for that matter, as a slave... how would you treat them?”

I didn’t have to pretend or lie. I knew exactly how I wanted to treat them. With respect. With kindness. As much as they served me, I would serve them by ensuring they were warm, and fed and sheltered and given the freedom to explore who they were. They would be able to question me, argue with me, correct me like any other. More than most others because their fate is tied to mine. And if they wanted intimacy, it would be on equal terms with their consent, freely given without the taint of honour-bound duty. I would refuse to see them as my slave, but only as a person of equal worth to me. I would protect them and serve them at least as much as they did me.

Bambinae smiled at me. She knew my thoughts without me having to say them aloud.

“Do you know what they call that in your world?”

I shook my head.

“Marriage.”

FUCK!

“Her mother even gave you her blessing.”

FUCK!!!

“I only just met this girl!”

“It doesn’t matter. You just made a decision in your heart about how you would treat her. You’ve only ever made that decision once before. When was that again?” The Goddess teased.

I sighed. “So this was all part of the plan?”

Bambinae shrugged in a non-committal kind of way and then changed the subject. “One last thing, it’s terribly self-serving, but I need you to pray to me a few times a day. You are my only true agent, and I gain power from the prayers of my people. As you can convince others to pray to me, you will find I am able to help you more. Should you take lovers, I will also gain more power.”

“You need me... to...” I stuttered...

“The more my champion expands his household, the more powerful I will become. Other Gods gain power through their champions achieving great acts of heroism. I gain power through your connections with those you love. The more wives you take and children you have, the more power I will gain.”

I was still shocked and stuck on the point. “You need me to...”

“They do too,” Bambinae answered, fading. “Remember, you have my blessing.”

And I woke up.