The Top Ten Worst Songs of 2023

C

I grew up as small town as you can get. We lived on a high hill with very few houses and mostly farmland. The nearest village had about 100 people. And yet right across the field from my house lived one of the most notorious career criminals in Pennsylvania. I’ve heard he lives in a glorified dog pen in state prison, he’s so high risk. In addition to him we had pedophiles and prostitutes and other unsavory characters. Don’t be fooled. Just because people look like you and they’re roughly in the same tax bracket doesn’t necessarily make them nice people. Now I live in our great diverse city of Bethlehem where most people respect the differences. Try that in a small town!

Todd just wanted to alert you to the existence of a song from 2023 by your mate Jason Derulo called “When Love Sucks” - I think it might have been specifically designed to be everything you hate in one song

I like that "Last Night" follows up on the "Tonight, Tonight" theory from 10 years ago that the "worst" doesn't have to be the most offensive re: "Try that in a small town" but is the most boring.

Why does it say that the video has been removed? It also said it's been blocked in my country when I tried to watch it earlier. That's why I just paid for your patreon. 😭

I'm going to try to one-up Herbieguy here. After watching Todd shit on ****** ******* ***** a second time, I was also inspired to go from long-time viewer to Patreon subscriber. But I also created this cool Todd-tribute avatar. So who's the ass-kisser now? Also, ******, if you're lurking here, obsessing over getting on a Top Ten Worst List...I suspect you're not a bad person at heart, but it's clear you've been exposed to some bad influences. I hope your 16 minutes of fame buys you some opportunities to expand your horizons. And I hope you don't give up songwriting, even if you decide your dogs will be the only ones who get to hear your songs in the future.

I know I'm gonna seem like an obnoxious kiss-ass for this but I've been a viewer for years and this video was so good I subscribed to your patreon the second it stopped. Some of your best work ever.

Where'd the video go?

And does anyone else think that Dylan Scott looks like he’s halfway through shifting from human to demon?

I know Morgan Wallen broke your heart and was overplayed as hell, but at least his music isn’t immoral. “Try That In A Small Town” is truly the worse song of 2023.

Vampire for me was a track I immediately didn't like, but for whatever reason Guts became the album I used whenever I just needed something to listen to this last month or so. It's really grown on me after a while, I think it's probably still the weakest track but I also see why it was the single. Its got good energy and feels the most like a bridge from the last album. While others have talked about the way it builds, I think the thing that works for me with it is just the delivery and rhythm of it. "Fame Fucker" is a more questionable one, but I think "Oh, what a mesmerizing, paralyzing, fucked up little thrill" is phenomenal. I think when it comes to the dude though, I mean I know for "Drivers License" there was some buzz from what's his name and that was her first break up; but is that dude really any more important or interesting than this one? I don't know, I hope the album is break-up less because Lacy was the most engaging track for me.

I really like Vampire despite its clumsy lyrics. It's rare to find a power ballad nowadays that builds the way it does, and I think she sells the emotion of it quite well. I like it better than most of her melodramatic ballads. But it's definitely one of the weaker songs on Guts. I much prefer Olivia when she's doing riot grrrl cosplay, and her persona is more tongue-and-cheek. Bad Idea Right was actually my most-played song this year. I really loved Guts, but my main criticism of Olivia still stands: That while she shows a lot of promise, she still wears her influences on her sleeve a little too much. I really hope that by her third album, she'll have found more of a musical identity that's more distinctly hers. The rock direction she's been doubling down on with Guts is very promising and she pulls it off quite well. I read a Rolling Stone profile about her this year that opined that Olivia doesn't seem to want to be a pop star, but a rock star. And I gladly welcome that.

Did I miss it or did the Megan Trainor song not even appear in the honorable mentions? I am truly shocked

Can't agree with your #9 pick for one big reason. You can debate about the lyrics and the delivery and whatnot, but personally, it was just nice to hear a hit song that actually BUILDS. One that actually ends in a different place musically than it began. So many songs nowadays are barely songs at all and don't have any progression - I think you've even criticized that "TikTokization" of music in your own reviews - so I'll take anything that actually does it, even if it doesn't do it perfectly.

Lol this is the first time that my number 1 most played song of the year turned out to be your number 1 least favorite song. In conclusion, modern country music is a land of contrasts.

No matter how many times you talk about Travis Scott, every time I hear the name I still manage to think he's one of those conservative country guys. I guess he thought his real name was too interesting, and he needed a stage name to match the tone of his music?

Who is this Dylan Scott man and why does he look like he's constantly smelling the gnarliest fart of his life

I was never a fan of "Daylight" so never sought it out, so that entry gave me whiplash twice, when the video started and we saw his nerdy-ass face, and when the Genius annotation started and we heard his nerdy-ass speaking voice. And I say this _as a nerd_. Where the hell does this Rivers Cuomo cosplayer get that deep somber baritone?

In the interest of honest debate “ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID” This video healed my soul

Todd, I feel your tiredness in my soul and down to the bones. I’m exhausted too. Also, shock country is 1,000 times worse, more boring and so much more predictable than shock rock. And yet they’re so pleased with themselves and think they’re so edgy. Gross. Gag me with a spoon.

"Buy a house and raise a family. That's good advice I was just gonna smoke crack" I took a big drink of coffee while listening to that line and that was a mistake

All I’m gonna say is Last Night and Girls Like You by Maroon 5 would almost be indistinguishable if Morgan’s voice didn’t have a twang.

Hey! #notallfrenchpeople

Number 9 is Todd's second worst take. The first worst take is his dislike for ABBA.

I saw that when you said number 6 it shows number 7

Okay, the bumper at #6 spot still had #7 on the image. Also, Luke BRYAN featured on Buy Dirt, not Luke Combs. And vampire is good ack-shully

seems all fine! i always love the quickfire analysis of these

Decided to go back and listen to the Song vs Song Vampire vs Flowers after watching the episode and you pretty much mentioned every song that ended up on the list/honorable mentions. Which means you did the best years end wrap up episode in the middle of the year ever.

I love that Paramore track, I've been listening to it all year, and I feel so stupid I didn't even consider it as a candidate for the "worst of the list" bumper. Great choice!

This might be a very minor problem to point out, but you want us to catch your errors, and I have noticed an error no one else has. You DID NOT put "Take Me to Church" on your 2014 worst list. But you say that you DID put it on your 2014 worst list when you begin talking about "Daylight". You actually put "Take Me to Church" as an "honorable mention" in your 2014 worst list video. I even clipped it to prove it: https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx_NaZGKtZhrhxOdgJuv14XYOKNshghK4H?si=yL2HmZN9ekf_yfxm

17:05 Buy Dirt is credited to Jordan Davis and Luke Combs in the video, but the Luke on the song is Luke Bryan, not Combs.

This year was a miserable slog. It wasn't even necessarily the quality of the bad music, it was just the pure apathy it inspired. If I could describe 2023's pop scene in one word that's it. Apathy. Unless you're Taylor Swift of course, but (and this may shock you) the vast majority of artists are not her. Saw #1 coming from a mile away. Basically my generation's version of Everything I Do by Bryan Adams

“Fun” Fact: Coi Leray is the daughter of noted The Source guy and Eminem beef target Benzino. One of the most on-brand nepo babies of all time imo

May be nitpicky, but pit bulls aren’t dangerous. They’re one of the sweetest breeds, when raised by loving and responsible people rather than people who *train them* to be mean. (I volunteer with animals. People avoid adopting pit bulls because of the “dangerous” myth, which results in their having a much higher euthanasia rate than other breeds.) American Temperament Testing Society found pit bulls have better temperaments than Golden Retrievers: https://dogtime.com/dog-health/general/1220-american-pit-bull-terrier-temperament-dog-bites Pit bulls picked up their “dangerous” reputation during the racist war on drugs. http://replacedenverbsl.org/every-generation-portrays-a-different-breed-as-the-most-dangerous/

When you played "Buy Dirt," the text said it featured Luke Combs instead of Luke Bryan. Also there's no dot when you show what's #3, it's just say "3 Slime You Out," not "3. Slime You Out"

Entirely possible this is intention or correct it just sounded a bit off to me. 19:41 Mr Anthony Music 21:54 My impression of Anthony Music being From Wikipedia Christopher Anthony Lunsford[3] (born 1991/1992),[4] who performs under the name of Oliver Anthony and releases music under the name Oliver Anthony Music

"Weak afternoon befores" really got me. You're the best, Todd! <3

I too noticed the 7 text when 6 was spoken, along with multiple layering errors. The imbalanced audio mixing was most noticeable in the #9 segment for me in particular. Did you upload the wrong version again? That aside, I was shocked to see how fast this came out and I enjoyed the commentary and humour nonetheless.

#6 text says #7 Layering error from A-roll to B-roll around 19:10 and 20:20 and a few more throughout the Oliver Anthony entry. correction: it actually happens quite a bit throughout the video; your voice-over kicks back in but the video isn't detached from it so the aspect ratio difference peeks over the edges of the B-roll.

some editing errors here and there, todd

Great video as always. There seems to be a formatting issue with Flowers during the honorable mentions

Pretty fun video and I was not expecting Todd to say he misses Putbull. Maybe he'll bac. I feel like 2024 is going to need some party songs

Always a highlight of the year end Todd - thank you for many years of doing what you do.

Also the end screen is the “No Fixed Address” end screen

Extra “r” added in Anne-Marie so it says “Anne-Marrie”

Another editing error - I think number 6 had the wrong title - or you said the wrong number for 7

There are matte issues throughout the vid

03:40 missing black background again

Editing error at 00:33 - I think there's supposed to be a black background here at multiple points 00:58 - I think there's an awkward black frame here 01:02 - Again I think missing black background

Yaaaay!!!

IT’S HEEEEEERE!!!

YES LET'S GO!! Also please rest up, Todd!!