Let's talk about guns with your host Stevie
Hey guys, Stephen here.
I wanted to talk about guns for a second.
This topic genuinely upsets me, and whenever it comes up, I usually feel overwhelmed and struggle to say what I mean clearly. I wanted to write down my thoughts instead, because this is something I care deeply about.
When I was 18, I worked as an armed security guard for a couple of defense contractors. To carry a handgun or rifle for that kind of job, you need what’s called a G License. That was my first real exposure to guns in my life.
I had to qualify with a 9mm, so I went through a week-long training camp that included time at the shooting range and everything else that came with it. At the time, it all felt pretty normal. No big deal. I got licensed, learned how to handle a firearm, and got paid to carry one at work.
I had a coworker on the night shift, and because we were usually stuck behind a desk in a lobby for hours at a time, we talked constantly. Sometimes 40, sometimes 60 hours a week. We talked about life, relationships, stress, all kinds of things. Over time, I grew really fond of him.
He was 28 years old when he killed his girlfriend and then himself.
I knew he was having relationship problems. We had talked about them for hours and hours. I also knew he had bought a gun, because he brought it to work one day to show it to me. Looking back, there were red flags. At the time, I didn’t see them for what they were.
I remember I had the day off when it happened. My boss called me to tell me what had happened, but what stuck with me most was how casual the conversation felt. His main concern seemed to be whether I had spoken to local reporters and whether I’d be available to pick up extra shifts now that we had lost an employee.
That was it.
My friend, someone I had spent months talking to almost every night, had just died. And the conversation around it felt completely detached from the horror of what had happened.
It barely even made the news. There was only a small mention in our local paper, Florida Today. But for me, it was life-changing. It affected me in a way that has never really left.
For a long time, I was haunted by the circumstances around that day, especially one question: how was he allowed to buy a gun so easily?
There was no psychological evaluation. No meaningful safeguard that could have stopped a deeply troubled person from getting access to a deadly weapon. He walked into a pawn shop and walked out with a gun.
That reality still disturbs me.
And that brings me to one of my biggest problems with American gun laws: as society evolves, our laws are supposed to evolve with it. They do for almost everything else. But when it comes to guns, we are stuck in a cycle of fear, politics, and inaction.
That’s one reason I’ve always admired the UK’s willingness to respond with reform after tragedy. There was recognition that public safety had to take precedence over ideology.
In America, one of the most common defenses of gun ownership is protection. People want to protect their families. They want to be prepared if someone dangerous shows up. On the surface, that sounds noble. It sounds practical.
But that argument leaves out one major problem: human beings are emotional, impulsive, and flawed.
A “good person” can become a dangerous person in the span of one breakdown, one fight, one rage-filled moment, one crisis. That’s not just a theory to me. I watched it become reality.
That’s why I believe the government has a responsibility to protect people not only from criminals, but sometimes from themselves. And in this country, it too often refuses to do that.
Sometimes I ask myself whether the problem has simply become too large to control. Have there been so many guns sold, passed around, and normalized that meaningful reform now feels impossible?
But even if that were true, would that really be a reason not to try?
Is the fear of being hit by a stray bullet while driving, while shopping, while walking down the street enough to justify trying? Is the fear of sending your child to school and wondering whether they’ll come home enough to justify trying?
Apparently, in America, the answer is still no.
Another argument I hear is that if guns were harder to get, people would just use knives instead. But those two things are not remotely equal.
A knife is terrifying, yes, but it requires proximity, physical struggle, and a completely different level of access to a victim. A gun can end lives from a distance in seconds. Treating those two weapons like they’re basically the same is not a serious argument. It just avoids the real conversation.
What feels insane to me is that so many of us live with this quiet fear in the background at all times. It becomes part of your subconscious. At any random moment in traffic, in a store, at a school, during an argument, during a misunderstanding, someone could have a gun, and everything could change instantly.
That should not feel normal. But in America, it does.
And the more I think about it, the harder it is not to conclude that money is a huge part of why nothing changes. There are too many industries, too many lobbyists, too many people making too much money from a violent status quo.
Political campaigns are expensive, and politicians depend on donors. Gun manufacturers profit from fear. Insurance companies profit from injury. Hospitals profit from treatment. Private prisons profit from incarceration. Funeral homes profit from death.
There is an entire ecosystem that continues to function while ordinary people live with the consequences.
So when people ask why reform never seems to happen, I don’t think it’s because we lack evidence. I think it’s because too many powerful interests benefit from things staying exactly the way they are.
And I can’t help but wonder: if the United States had responded the way the UK did with reforms like the Firearms Act of 1997, would my friend still be alive? Would his girlfriend? How many others might still be here?
I don’t know.
Comments (30)
Absolutely brutal ma man, no wonder you want to laugh. I am so thankful we had the sense to re-organise shit after Dunblane :(
This is so sad and I’m sorry you went through this Stephen. I’ve lost 2 people who took their own lives and it’s so shocking. I absolutely agree about americas gun laws and it’s totally scary to think how easy it is for someone to get a gun.
Even you after a week of training steven, should someone after a week be allowed to carry something designed to kill? Why isn't it a month or even 3 or 6 months?
I'm very sorry to hear about this tragic story from you. I appreciate you sharing it. That must have been tough to say the absolute least. ♥️
There's auto loading crossbows with magazines over here and if you really want a gun...you can get one if you know the right bent coppa or move in those circles. The whole point of militias over there was that the government should be scared of the people - not the other way round but you sit on your guns and use them against each other. Ideally no one should want one, police or public. Of the massive list of why I wouldn't even visit the US that's not even in the top-ten.
I think you covered pretty much everything here and I agree with it all and I'm really sorry to hear about your friend and his partner. Other things that crossed my mind were: A gun is a killing machine, that is it's primary purpose and I think it's absolutely wrong to carry or use that weapon to protect company property. Mental health is fluid. Buying a gun is typically a one-off transaction. I think regular mental health assessments are required throughout the ownership span. Currently we're seeing an incredible amount of people in the US who say they categorically will not vote for anyone that takes money from Aipac. Politicians are beginning to take notice. Is there the will from the people to also use this tactic for politicians who take gun lobby money? At this point "Thoughts and prayers" is just downright insulting to victims because we know it's a hollow sentiment when change is not enacted.
Im sorry to hear your story Stephen, thats really really tragic.
Get rid of lobbying. It is the route of the corruption. For some reason ,money seems to re-direct Americas moral compass... New car, caviar, 4star daydream, I think I need to buy me a football team...
I’ve got no real direct connection with gun crime in the UK. I’m Afraid I’ve lost quite a few close friends to suicide or cancer. I always think ‘if I could turn back the clock!’. Richard 111, Shakespeare “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” At times you would give anything to be able to turn back the clock. But I’m afraid, you can not turn it back even 1 minute. I’ve travelled the World, over 50 countries including Jordan, Syria and Iraq and I can honestly say that deep down, the majority of people are kind and go out of their way to look out for their guests. Unfortunately, you then get the flip side. Because of your constitution and the powerful gun lobby in the USA, I don’t think you will ever remove firearms. But as you say.. the first step is the start of a 1,000 mile journey. Regulation of gun control is key. I’m not sure what I’m trying to say here, but inherently most people try and do a good days work, look after their families and friends and keep and love. I always remember when the 911 plane was about to crash and everyone on board knew it. The last things they texted or wrote down on notes, was ‘I love you’. It helps me to remember in such a shitty World, deep down people are caring. I’m so sorry about your mate and his girlfriend, but it wasn’t your fault. Sometimes people do the most evil thing in the moment. Look after yourself mate ❤️
Some good points, but I disagree about knives. There are news stories all the time here in the UK where some teenager gets stabbed in the heart over a silly argument in the street. Instant death.
It's easier to escape or fend off a knife attacker, and it's far harder for a knife attacker to mass murder. With one magazine of ammo, from the safety of cover, a gunman can kill multiple people - and before people even realise where it is coming from. There's also a higher psychological threshold for commiting murder with a melee weapon, because you have to get so close, and be so physically involved. Also, as an aside, the US actually has more knife crime per capita than the UK. Despite us Brits being the ones with the stereotype!
Very very well said Stephen
The whole idea of guns being a normal part of society is insane. Here in Ireland our police service are called the guards, short for Garda Síochána. The English translation is guardians of peace, and yes they don't carry guns. Now compare that to American police..... They look like an army. So here seeing a police officer with a gun is crazy. In America it's the norm. That's mental
You obviously live in the sticks. Guns are prevellant on streets of Dublin and Belfast. Dublin especially is a mad house
Thank you for sharing Steve, that must be traumatic. So many events can affect our lives, but a tragic death of someone you have closely known has to be the most personal negative event. I am the same with suicide as you are with guns I feel.
Gun ownership is such an emotive topic in the US and unfortunately those who financially benefit from gun ownership are very good at heightening those emotions. It helps to prevent any reasonable discourse around reform, to protect their own interests. I find it interesting how gun crime is reported by the media over there and maybe if that changed, reform would be easier. Stories like your friend's would be regional news and maybe even national news here. Maybe if these news stories were more nationally accessible in the US, attitudes would slowly begin to shift. There's a video on YT that goes more into how our gun licensing works if you're interested in that. It's called UK Guns Laws Explained by Adam Explains.
Thank you for sharing, very thoughtful and well said
Very sad and sobering story, thank you for sharing. One thing I've noticed is that America seems to think that Brits, Aussies and other countries are political point scoring, because we talk about how insane your lack of gun control is. We're really not, we just see school shootings in the US constantly on the news, and our frustration and anger comes from a place of sadness. The normalisation of armed officers and shooter drills in schools, the thought of kids growing up in a culture of constant fear, or the fact that the NRA and the Government are still denying the obvious solution because of corruption and money, is just insane to those looking in. In basic terms America is literally placing more importance on weapons than human life, which is similar to putting profit over human life when it comes to your healthcare. It's sad that many Americans believe that criticising US gun culture is tantamount to criticising America culture in general. It really isn't, as there are so many aspects of American culture that the rest of the world loves, but that definitely isn't one of them.
I think that gun culture in the US is so deeply ingrained in society. In the UK guns are out of sight out of mind. Police are not routinely armed with guns, there are no weapon and ammo shops or firing ranges. Unless you are in the military or specialist police unit you are very unlikely to ever handle a firearm. Prison time for having a weapon or even ammunition is severe. The only firearms that are legal to own are shotguns, but I believe they are only for certain sport and farming purposes and require a license to obtain.
Appreciate your openness and sympathise with your frustrations.. we know not all Americans agree with things , as Jim Jefferies said , it’s an amendment, it can be changed.. I recommend watching Jim Jefferies on gun control .. comedian , available on YouTube, but it puts things plainly.. your comments are heartfelt and glad you feel you are able to share 🙏
And then you have people like Charlie Kirk: "Having an armed citizenry comes with a price, and that is part of liberty. I think it’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights."
"boom, boom, boom,...boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, the guns go?, Blackadder goes "boom"
Sorry to hear about your friend and how it affected you 🤗 Maybe react to the comedian Jim Jeffries gun control, it’s in 2 parts but not a long video, serious points alongside comedy gold. Much love from 🇬🇧
Lockheed Martin makes money blowing them up. Halliburton goes in to rebuild. Everybody gets paid. I don't disagree with having a gun to protect your home and family, but that's not what they're being used for. The school shooting numbers are wild and general murders. I live in the countryside in England and there's guns everywhere here, but mainly shotguns and they tell you when they're going out shooting.
Thank you for sharing, Stephen. I can't imagine what that would have been like to go through, and then the blasé nature of the media, since sadly it's not an uncommon occurence there. Lots of love ❤️ xx
I think part of the problem is, as you have more and more incidents, whether they're more isolated like your friend, or considered a mass shooting, or motivation like the Kirk shooting. When there's so many, it becomes normal, it stops being shocking. Once it's a normal part of life, the motivation to change it isn't there for many as unless they lose someone they were close to, they don't know any different so it's less of a problem. And in the US it's so tightly integrated as a right, the right to keep and bear arms. Many blindly defend that forgetting the real reason it's being debated. It's not about controlling you or taking away your ability to fight against a tyrannic government, it's about preventing the loss of lives and kids going to school and not having to spend time performing active shooter drills. But when you've got generations brought up to repeat the line, it's very difficult to change. I remember an experiment with monkeys, the story goes they'd hang some bananas above a step ladder, when a monkey climbed the ladder to grab the bananas, they used water jets on the rest of the monkeys. When the next one tried it, they did the same. From then on any time a monkey started climbing the ladder, the rest would pull it down and beat it. They'd then add new monkeys and take one away until all monkeys still pulled down a climbing monkey and beat them, but none of them had seen anyone get hosed down with water. None of them knew why they were really doing it. I mention it just because we're the same, we protect things without really thinking why? And is it the best option. And of course we're easily influenced at times, if your favourite country star makes a song about gun ownership, that'll be enough to convince someone.
Firstly Stephen, I'd like to thank you. Thank you for sharing and caring. Eloquently delivered ❤️
Sorry to hear about what happened to your friend. It must be horrible worrying about crazy people with guns, I think tightening it all up and making it difficult to get them would help but ultimately youre always going to get nutters, its a sad world.
I have to be blunt and honest. The reason is because of the constitution. The right to bear arms means more to the average American than someone else's life that means nothing to them. That's how it seems to me anyway. I can understand both sides, but the side that wants to keep the guns are far too paranoid to let the government decide what's best. In a way, I can see why, but when tragedies happen, their only option is to pretend nothing happened.
Well said... Over here, we would say to send something so powerfully worded like that in a letter to your local councillor or MP and then press them to do something about it- not that much always happens- you'd probably at least get a reply I'm not sure if there are any processes in place in the USA to communicate easily with your politicians etc