Preview draft & call for feedback: The Future is a Dead Mall

I was angry at first because I believed you were really much inflating the importance and the budget of that whole "metaverse" stuff until I started noticing ads for it in my town... So I guess that's not the case, you weren't that much, so props to you for choosing to cover early that rancid dark timeline. But yeah, I believe that the question of how this metaverse commercial "project" came to be a thing is not trivial at all and could be very much interesting to emphasize and/or cover in more depth.

Just want to note that I love that you let your humor shine through a bit more in this video.

Most of these should be fairly obvious, but just in case: 5:20 your voice is unpleasantly loud, I think it might be clipping 8:20, 14:40, 15:20, 1:14:44, 1:22:39 no visual 9:50, 14:10, 1:17:50 no voiceover/sound 1:16:13, 1:18:12 neither visual nor sound 15:13 has a cross marker for "skeumorphism", but it is not referenced anywhere 18:50 the green screening on hat-dan's hat is off. this may be intentional. Also, hatless dan has dome greenscreen issues with his glasses, especially when he moves to the right-hand side. might also be intentional. Maybe explain what "FOMO" is? (Fear Of Missing Out) 21:50 chapter 3 intro is a placeholder 28:26 Audio is left ear only. 1:07:48 chapter 4 intro is placeholder 1:23:26 chapter 5 intro is placeholder 1:38:51 chapter 6 intro is placeholder 1:48:26 end credits are missing

Couple of notes. I don't know if the AI voice is a creative choice, but I think when you're describing the dicemasters game it would be more effective to have a very enthusiastic action voice. It would highlight the difference between the marketing of the video game and the actual product.

There's a big black dot on the slide texture (about 1/3 down and 2/3 right) that almost always overlaps the text in a way that makes it harder to read. Fine if it's a style choice, but I found it distracting more than once. 15:11 - In the text, there's a dagger after "skeuomorphism," but no footnote. I don't know if you were planning to add a footnote, or if that dagger is left over from the source text, but it wouldn't hurt to include a definition there since it's an uncommon word, and you're also going to be using it later in the video. 24:00 - The pixel-blur transition interacts with the footage in such a way that it looks like something had to be blurred out for content reasons (maybe it did?). I think that transition might work better in all cases if it was just faster. A sound effect might make it more impactful as well? 34:30 - the red line being drawn around the hotspot on the map is quite subtle. I totally missed it the first time. Only noticed it after I figured out that I was looking for the brightest blue spot. 1:33:28 - Robert Moses? Not sure I get this one. 1:37:53 - "These losers" and pointing = missing graphic? 1:41:50 - This sentence "But inside that was an inkling of the political -- the notion that this could be a testbed for political movements, for new economies, and ideally liberation movements." Feels like it should either be cut, or moved to the section about the Decentraland quasi-political rhetoric vs. how its governance actually works. As is, it's not particularly connected to what's before it, and doesn't really lead into what's after it, and it doesn't really come back again. 1:41:01 - It might flow better to lead with Homo Ludens/the magic circle, then introduce the rhetoric around Second Life. (Rather than starting with Second Life then interrupting to explain the magic circle.) Also, it could use something to preface what Second Life is and why you're bringing it up now instead of talking about Decentraland directly. (I'm guessing it's to draw attention to just how old hyperbole is around virtual words is, in which case maybe just explicitly say that, like "We've been having these same conversations since at least as far back as 2003, when...".) It could do a lot to even just add a brief description at the first mention, like, "In 2003, writers rushed to herald Second Life [a game much like Decentraland but less laggy and two decades earlier] as the vanguard of the future..." Already love the video, can't wait to see the finished version. Very glad someone with your wit and thoughtfulness has the patience to wade into these subjects. Rock on.

Watched multiple times with considerable pleasure. No notes. I wish only to enjoy the finished product. Outstanding.

I feel like the delivery of some of the joke segments could be improved, but they are all good and on-point. They feel rougher around the edges in comparison to the Contrapreneurs doc, which had genuinely flawless comedy. Separately, I think the "whale told the DAO to #### itself" bit runs too long, weakening the landing. It is funny, but I felt like too much of my brain was focused on following the through-line to be free to laugh. I think it'd be better to speak the one sentence and bleep the f-word with that delicious modem noise.

I love that your decentraland avatar is named Brad Defoe. Very nice Easter egg

The bit about Second Life starting at 1:42:03 is... Unexpected? It starts immediately after the Casa Voltaire segment, despite no direct connection. Also, after spending the whole video talking about Decentraland, suddenly switching to Second Life at the very end is a bit disorienting. This is made worse by suddenly switching back to talking about Decentraland at 1:46:05. Maybe add some context as to why Second Life is relevant to the discussion? Truthfully, the history of Second Life could probably be its own chapter.

I don't know if this is within scope, but apparently OpenAI just released a paper that notes that blockchain tech is particularly threatened by emerging AI. If that's accurate, all the crypto and Web3 tech could be rendered completely unusable before it could ever hope to crowbar its way into daily life.

At 1:22:34, “Let me mark that on a graph for you,” please tell me the graph will have the release of “Line Goes Up” marked on the timeline!

One small correction; at 1:44, the word “kayfabe” is pronounced oddly, it’s kay-fayb. The whole video is fascinating and great, but it’s best not to alienate wrestling fans. Love seeing Amy again!

Dan, you're giving DCL too much credit on their user counts! Daily active users is the amount of users active at any point in a 24h window. They could be logged on all day, or for 5 minutes. When looking at steam stats, you're looking at the peak amount of concurrent users - those that are all logged in at the same time. This is obviously a subset of daily active users.

@1:22:56 "It continues to obsist"

The direct-to-camera segments are severely underlit, which causes banding in the shadows and makes you less clearly the subject of the frame. It may be possible to fix it in the box instead of reshooting. Edit: I do like it aesthetically, so I'm torn. Maybe just bring up the shadows a bit? It looks slightly better on my phone.

In the end credits, can you credit Amy as the Co-Host?

5:55. I was distracted by the lack of headroom in the frame. Had to watch that section again to hear what was being said.

At 43:30 you show a DOW vote which immediately reveals the absurd disproportion of voting power. How about burying the lede on that until later when you explain the mechanism of more wealth = more voting power (around 1:27:59)? On its own the moment is still pretty poignant and funny (especially with the fucking BANGER that was "an undead mall, stuttering along in a parody of life). Maybe it is a bit too far forward in the video but a quick callback to that vote, then revealing the true nature of its outcome would show the hilarity of how the outcome of the vote really is. Because on the surface, it seems that it's the exact opposite of the will of the users, but upon digging deeper, the vote is barely relevant for the users. and is just a petty pissing match between make-believe captains of industry. It would really underscore the comicality of what happens when a bunch of lolberts indulge so deeply and sincerely in a digital Galt's Gultch LARP.

only a few minutes in and i am very happy to see snow crash in the frame, it blows me away how so much of the commentary on facebook's metaverse doesn't even acknowledge the namesake at all

around minute 45, "and make sure that you aware", dropped an "are"

Apologies for the lack of paragraphing: my keyboard hates me. Love the Lake Minnewanka hoodie. You probably already thought of this, but maybe the title should be Decentraland: The Future is a Dead Mall. or The Metaverse: The Future is a Dead Mall instead of just "The Future is a Dead Mall." You know, for the algorithm. The Bolger stuff about 1-to-1 cloning seems ripe for a Borges reference. The "limitless possibility" of the "Metaverse" is like The Library of Babel: it's actually worthless. Around the 8:40 mark - is the screen supposed to be dark? There are several times in the video when this happens. Also, the video feels a bit dark in general. Not sure if this is something that can be fixed in post, but the shots of you on the couch with the lovely Amy feel a bit hard to see.

I think addressing Facebook's metaverse current state a bit would be helpful. I kept wondering during the video whether you were just dunking on Decentraland while ignoring the next iteration.

Great work! I really didn't take enough notes to expand on the details other have provided. My favorite part was the fake "adventure game FMV" at 18:47. Maybe have a similar aesthetic for the chapter cards? A lot of the blank sections seemed to be when you discuss fashion AR, and I hope you can find some fun clips. I liked the "real person sounding fake" VO style you used for the Mikkelsen video, and I hope you can get similar VO work to replace the computer voice. The one point I got momentarily confused was the context of the law office & the urn anecdote. Good luck polishing everything up!

Looks great so far! One thing it implies but I think should be stated outright is that the fictional universes these weirdos take for inspiration are all dystopias. Snow Crash takes place in a world where corporations have carved up the United States into little fiefdoms and there’s dire consequences for not delivering a pizza on time. Both it and Ready Player One have protagonists who live in shitty physical apartments that contrast with the fame and real estate they possess digitally. Within that framework, I think even the idealized vision of the metaverse is depressing. It’s like, get on the ground floor of this new version of Wall Street and don’t worry about the men behind the curtain back in the physical world.

A little sad the Taco Bell wedding didn’t make the cut but overall enjoying it

Adding onto my prior comment, in the interest of people who primarily listen and also to emphasise structure for those who watch, audio design and choice of soundtrack can help structure the video and signpost changes in topic and section.

Firstly, technical glitches and mistakes: - "HEy that sign's backwards. Hey it's backwards from the other side!" Hillarious, but also, it sounds like a bit of script got cut there, mentioning "other amusement rides" before introducing any. - The Nikola Telsa quote frame might have a typo? Either that or the first sentence has been truncated oddly. Micro-editing: - Readable things that are on screen can be a bit of a bugbear for me when it's not clear if it's about to be narrated, or if I should read it while listening, or what. Little visual signifiers/motifs that help clarify and differentiate the functions of such things are appreciated. - I have trouble keeping track of the names being dropped, like who Ball or Sweeny are, and which quotes were whose. Some sort of device to help remember who is who, and what they said/did would be appreciated, anything to keep track of the personae. - Keep your powder dry on Lindt, you don't need to call them shitty upfront. Patience. The "Lindt store" WILL speak for itself. - The wipe at 40:40 feels odd, like it should be a paragraph break, not a section break - "I can feel the excitement coursing through my veins" joke feels like it could do with tightening. A few other visual jokes too, just a bit. Macro-editing: - What questions are we going to answer; what ones will we ask? What assumptions are we going to expose; why do we care about them? Clarity about topic of video; metaverse, decentraland, what? You introduce topics, but it's not clear whether you're going on a tangent or getting to the true topic of the video. Some sort of device to separate and relate decentraland, metaverse, how they relate to each other, the topic, and thesis. These things clarify towards end, but only partly, and should be clear from start. Maybe this is just an issue with the underlying concept but I feel like it would be useful to have a more concrete understanding why we were meant to even buy into the myth of it and why this was meant to be different to second life. Like, what's the fantasy of the metaverse. Might also be useful to early on discuss the history of the concept, where the word and idea came from and how it gained semi-legitimacy in tech circles; I feel this would help give some much needed logic to the insanity and absurdity of the concept. That video at 1:41:40-ish really feels like it lays out everything that needs deconstruction. It should come early. The whole first 2 chapters of the video are over long, yet chapter 3 is over twice their combined length? "The future is a dead mall" in reference to the reality of decentraland is brutal and effective, but feels like it shows up too late, like chapters 1 and 2 should be shortened and merged, and that line leading into the new chapter 2. But don't cut FMV Dan and that whole section, I LOVE IT, the video feels like it finds its feet there. More large scale visual organising devices to help hold the context of the larger arguments, organising them, would be appreciated.

This has probably been mentioned but the textboxes are very inconsistent. Some are voices, some with text to speech (it seemed like a bit at first pointing to the artificiality of it all, but later it felt more like placeholder). The amount of text actually read varied, from only the header, to the first paragraph or more. Some text were on screen way to short, some were long and silent. Amy is a star!

bit messy but. 9:50 first Matthew ball quote missing VO 14:10 2nd Matthew Ball quote missing VO Am i remembering correctly that there was a 3rd Matthew Ball quote on screen that you read/talked over, not the restating at 29:42 can't find it atm. 14:30+16:00 VR footage/examples chapter 3/ 4/6 maybe more title cards etc Vo for article https://youtu.be/rBYcbuN1qRY?t=4666 dissapointing things in decentraland clips? or just fashion week https://youtu.be/rBYcbuN1qRY?t=4692 to doublecheck sold for 980 what? 980 dollars, 980000 980,000,000? https://youtu.be/rBYcbuN1qRY?t=4861 1:31:00-1:38:30 is this going to be broken up a bit more or is the effect of it as is intentional.

Also, not sure if this is an Alberta thing, but con-TIG-yoo-us

Hey Dan, first time long time. Love the fonts and presentation. Not explained is why anyone should care about Ryan Bolger's take on the metaverse as a first impression. His paper is maybe interesting as an "even theologians" angle but probably shouldn't be used as any sort of window early on.

I don't have epilepsy, and don't know much about what triggers a seizure, but if I had to guess, I would slap "possible seizure trigger" warnings on the section with titles in the rapidly shifting colours and the party lights. (I haven't watched past this yet, will edit later)

You should definitely put the word "phygital" on screen every time you say it, because it's a ridiculous word and is impossible to understand when you just hear it without already knowing what it is. That's at 8:07 and 1:14:04 or so...(and looking at those timestamps, it comes up early on and isn't defined until an hour later, so at least having it on screen both times will help people a lot)

Are the computerized voices placeholders for other voices that will be added in later? At the start I was thinking that the bit was that all of the accounts that were represented by computer voices were bots but, as far as i can tell, you continue using them throughout the whole video and i think they're kind of grating compared to human voices.

It looks like other people here have added a lot more than I could, but I just want to point out that the Eashoo law segment about the roommate, the urn, and Grandma's ashes only comes through my left channel. If that's intentional, then all good (although it's going to be weirdly silent for anyone without a working left channel/left ear).

I doubt you'll include this, but I kinda like the turn of phrase "Roko's Basilisk as Sales Pitch" for the discussion of Metaverse's inherent 'inevitability. I also thought you might touch on more 'legitimate' tech companies attempts to create virtual commercial spaces, like Facebook. At the very least to say that's less about rent-seeking and more about drumming up VC for tertiary projects that go nowhere.

Around min 1, I really hate the computerized voices. They've been overused for memes and stuff, so lack any impact. I'd rather you just get Jenny Nicholson to read all of them in different MLP voices haha Love seeing your cat in the videos. Needs 100000% more cat. Really jarring edit around 4:20. Give a second to breathe between what you're saying and going into the commercial, maybe? I know that having everything scroll quickly over the footage around 5:30 is a part of the bit, but it moves so fast and the font is hard to read quickly. I'd slow it down and perhaps change the font to something less stylized. It wasn't until I went back that I realized racial slurs as usernames was one of them. Even the highlighted ones were hard to read. Have the snow crash joke hang for even just a second longer to give more time to read it. Seeing ready player one on your desk made me laugh. Good visual gag. I love seeing your cat in the video. Have I said that yet? Your cuts are distracting. Seeing your eyebrows teleport around your face is a unique experience. At 8:07 you said a word. I have no idea what word it was. "Fudgital?" Can you maybe put it on screen somewhere? Goes completely to black at 8:15. Will there be someone reading out the words at 9:30. Probably jarring to audio only listeners and I was watching, but my brain had to click into reading quickly. Really jarring shift in audio quality at 11:35. Also, I feel like you're going for a certain look with these black and whitish slides, but it just makes everything feel bland and flat. It sucks the air out of the room when the video switches to them (maybe that's the point, it's still not super fun to look at). Maybe instead of having them be a slide presentation, have them be those little red glasses you'd put to your face (like a meta visor) and flick through? Around 11:40, you show a bunch of text on screen while voiceover is on top of it. Please don't do this in the finished video. I'll either need to pause to read the text or not listen to your voiceover. Also, I recommend reading out all text on screen for the audio only listeners. Sorry, I couldn't listen to more! Hopefully this helps.

Great video! A few thoughts: The full title is clear, but the shortened title used here ("The Future is a Dead Mall") is ambiguous. Before starting the video I had no idea what it would be about. 12:00: you state that past fiction predicting the future is prone to survivorship bias, but then give three examples where the prediction was right and only one where it was wrong. This seems to support the opposite point? You emphasize repeatedly in a few different contexts that Decentraland trying to be A Real Place causes inherent contradictions that make the platform self-defeating, but I didn't quite follow and can't articulate it well now that I'm done watching. A little more explanation and maybe an extra example or two would be helpful. The topics in the last chapter (jump puzzles, developer interview / hacker flop house, magic circles) felt less cohesive than the prior chapters and more like a grab-bag of interesting points. The conclusion was strong, but I wonder if some of the other points would fit better earlier in the video.

Very enjoyable. Only two things I didn't see elsewhere: 1:37:50: "Bound by the whims of these losers" cuts to the next segment without a graphic/clip of the mentioned losers' whims. 1:43:14: The transition around the cut here felt particularly odd but I'm not sure what element produced that.

The Failure montage at the start feels like it lacks oomph as the high energy opening segment, if you’re going to keep it maybe hold on each item for a beat longer?

i don't know if this is the kind of feedback you're looking for, but i found the "computer voice" voice overs extremely jarring and hard to understand. i usually have essay videos like this running in the background while doing other stuff and not being able to understand key texts is just unfortunate (even though i could theoretically read them on the screen and i absolutely get the point you're making there, but personally i would still prefer accessible audio). unfortunately, i didn't write down a time code for this, but the twitch stream footage before you say "they're just streams" (or something to that effect) was almost unintelligible, maybe you could add subtitles for the important parts? (i guess the point is not what they're actually saying in those streams but rather the fact that they are, well, just streams, but that doesn't get mentioned until after you show the footage and while watching it i thought i was missing something important.) on a more positive note, i absolutely love that your cat was featured so much! <3

Love the video, but since you're looking for some hard feedback, I'll share it in a bulleted list. I actually had an afternoon to waste since I was waiting for my recently-cleaned keyboard to dry and I didn't want to finish assembling it, so, I grabbed my laptop and typed this up while watching on my phone. Timestamps are approximate since I mostly just typed while watching on my phone, and I definitely have "editor brain" so may hyperfocus on specific, unimportant things or mistakenly assume you didn't talk about something earlier that you actually talked about earlier, because I was too focused on specifics. * As mentioned, the TTS at the beginning is much too quiet for the music volume. I also think that the beginning of the video is a bit too slow, since the original post is way too long. I know that this is the point, but it might be better to actually edit the VO over the video tour of the actual tour. I would still keep the TTS comments, since they're fantastic. * 1:49 - Audio is quieter compared to the music just before. I would also actually bump up the audio on the gameplay view, since I feel like the bloop sound of TOS being brought up on the gameplay should be emphasised as how actually distracting and out-of-place it actually is. * 3:36 - I feel like the cut on the guy talking here is a bit too close; there should probably be a bit more buffer between him talking and you talking immediately after. * 4:40 - I feel like you should add some sort of on-screen text to clarify that the choppy framerate is entirely part of the actual ad, and not the result of your editing. Or, if it is the result of your editing, I would fix it to be more honest. * 5:23 - You're very close on the mixing here, but I would bump your voice up a little more just for clarity. Maybe you could mess with the EQ so that the bass is as loud as it is, but still keep your voice audible. * 5:48 - I don't think that the intent of the editing here was to force people to pause the video to read this footnote, so, I'd make it a bit longer. * 6:08 - These quotes flash by way too quickly to read, and the text is also too small to read at a glance. I would consider enlarging the text to fit the whole screen if the intent is to just skim each blurb in passing. That also might mean that the longer quotes have to go, or you'll have to find a better way to incorporate them, maybe with VO. * 6:57 - I'm really not sure what you're going for with the paper prop here. I kind of dig the vibe, but it still feels awkward. I know you don't do this often in your videos, but you could potentially zoom in on the photo as you pull it up to retain the lo-fi vibe over actually just showing a photo on the screen, then cut to after you put the picture down after. * 8:15 - Just black screen here. * 9:31 - The card-swap animation here is a bit jarring; I think that if you directly swapped to the card with the text instead of having a blank card in between, it would be a bit cleaner. As mentioned, it also has no VO. The starting transition feels a bit too jarring as-is, but maybe if it were shortened like I mentioned it would be fine; maybe you want to remove the start transition and keep the end if not. * 11:32 - Okay, now I see this transition again and it makes a lot more sense, especially with the analogue slideshow sound. The sound is a bit too loud, but I get it now. I don't think it's before this point in the video where I actually understand the metaphor, especially since I was mentally comparing it to the paper prop before, so, maybe you might want to either visually separate these slides or find a way to incorporate the sound effect and overall vibe. * 12:16 - Like right here, the sound effect isn't there any more. I don't think it really gets sold without the sound effect, but the effect would have to be much quieter than it is to not get annoying throughout the video. Not sure. * 13:17 - Watching this bit, I know you mention Snow Craft from the beginning of the chapter, but I don't think you actually introduce the book, and not everyone watching will be familiar with it. Not sure how to incorporate this, but, yeah. * 13:31 - The redaction here is good, but the actual format of the slide isn't great. The "Paragraph" and "citation" bits feel more like you forgot to fill in a template than you actually put intent in the slide. It might be better to just cut at this point. * 14:06 - This prop switch is a bit too fast to be meaningful, and feels more awkward than not. The fact that you then gesture with the prop afterward sort of emphasises this awkwardness. If you included the putaway as part of a zoom here, it might sell it better as intentional awkwardness, or you could just remove this bit. (I'm assuming you're hoping to not have to refilm any talking bits.) * 14:14 - Again no VO, hard transition without SFX. * 14:32 - Hard black screen. * 15:13 - Talking over this quote seems unintentional here. * 15:25 - Hard black. * 16:32 - This section is flawless, keep it. * 17:23 - Same with the wince here. * 17:36 - I'm not sure if the TTS is a placeholder here, but I feel like it fits very well. * 18:43 - The audio here is a bit quiet due to the retro compression, and you probably want to bump up the volume to compensate. * 19:00 - Love the return of Hat Dan. * 20:40 - This section shouldn't have music or anything, but it's still jarring without audio. You probably want to record yourself fumbling around with the VR controllers and headset in the background for some cozy VR ASMR. (But really, I feel like this would help.) * 21:36 - I feel like the paper props *do* work here. * 21:51 - I assume that this is a placeholder transition. * 22:45 - This transition might also warrant some soft SFX, or being sped up. * 23:19 - This transition seems unnecessary. * 23:36 - I think you might want to cut a bit longer to enhance the awkward silence. * 24:10 - More transition inconsistencies, not sure if the pixel effect and the swipe together make a good pair throughout the video. * (Gonna stop commenting on the transitions, it'd be just noise at this point.) * 26:11 - You really want to either zoom in on this page, or include like a windows taskbar and chrome toolbar in the shot to sell the look. Right now it's just hard to read on a phone even though it's also being read out. * 27:15 - Like that. * 28:16 - Audio is a bit quieter than usual here. * 28:25 - Only left channel audio here. Not sure if it's also quiet too or if it's just my brain playing tricks on me because it's only one channel. (Was wearing headphones.) * 29:11 - I think this section is a bit too long to be worthwhile. Also, the Canadian "sorry" here probably doesn't fit too well with the character you're voicing, and you might want to have someone else voice it, or at least rerecord that bit. (Unless the person is actually Canadian? Sorry for assuming the techbro's nationality. (Not actually sorry.)) * 32:20 - I think now that the intention might have been to make the transitions differ from chapter to chapter, which also makes a little less sense to me given how the first chapter started out with EDM but featured black-and-white slides throughout. Mostly just braindumping here. * 32:50 - You say "implemated" here instead of "implemented," IDK if you actually want to re-record but figured I'd mention. * 33:09 - You might want to bump up the audio for the background buzzing and fireworks to really emphasise that that's it. * 33:50 - Not gonna comment further on these bits, but this is another clip where the cut feels a bit too short for me and I feel like extending the awkward silence is actually a good thing. * 35:48 - I know it doesn't matter, but like, what is Genesis Plaza? Maybe you want to explain what that is either here or earlier in the video, or just say like, "a central plaza." * 36:40 - Just showing the full stream view here is very good, and if you happened to edit it out of earlier clips, you might want to incorporate that there too. * 39:25 - You might want to bump up the gameplay audio a tad. * What actually is the tagline for chapter 3? I'm just realising I think it's about Decentraland, but I don't think you actually mention it. * 40:57 - "Speak for itself on some key details" probably could just be trimmed to "speak for itself" * 41:44 - You might want to zoom and pan on the parts the TTS is reading in some cases, since you're not reading the whole slide. That way it'll be a bit easier to follow along visually. * 42:08 - Is it bad that I want to hear the bad techno DJ in this bit? * 42:50 - Oh, maybe you might want to include this bit around when you mention the DJ? * 43:48 - I'm not sure if paraphrasing this paragraph while showing it on screen is the right approach. You probably want to either show a different clip here, or read it verbatim. * 44:37 - This prop doesn't work great because I have no idea what it says on the paper. * 46:35 - Audio is a bit quiet, but also I'm not sure this clip is pulling its own weight at its current length. * 48:00 - The quietness of the audio here also sells the yelling a bit less than it should. And it also is probably a bit louder than it should be. * 49:23 - Okay, the slideshow transition here is way too loud. Sorry for commenting on transitions again. * 50:52 - I love the Space Odyssey kazoos, but it is a bit too loud, and the dynamic range is a bit too low. * 51:44 - I had to pause to laugh at the butthole tunnel funnel of news juice. * 53:00 - I feel like the text here should be revealed in lines rather than paragraphs, since I otherwise feel enticed to ignore it as "financial BS." I figure that's also the intention, but like, if you put text, I'm going to feel compelled to read it, and that's how it is. * 55:45 - I don't think you really emphasise your disappointment enough with this VO, but I feel rude mentioning this. Maybe it's fixable with better mixing. * 56:46 - This continuity in the script really works, where you're like, "hang on, you can't sit anywhere!" * 57:07 - Ow, my ears. * Wait, are we still on chapter 3? Do we need chapters? * 59:26 - Also way too loud. * 1:00:43 - Black screen. * 1:02:00 - Music also a bit loud. * 1:05:35 - I like the usage of the term "micro" Massively Multiplayer Online (game). * 1:07:02 - Also loud. * 1:07:47 - Oh, we do have more chapters. But a placeholder transition, and I still don't know what the chapter is about. * 1:10:32 - I really don't know if this montage holds its weight, but I also appreciate a lot of the pieces individually. The part about the diving board was cut off before he actually tried it, so, I'm not sure if that was because it didn't exist or because you cut it short. This definitely needs some work IMO. Maybe just mix the clips throughout the parts of the chapter. * 1:11:57 - Is this your editing or his? I'm actually not sure. * 1:12:57 - I think that the left-emphasised audio is an artifact of the recording but you might want to re-center it in post since it makes listening that much more difficult on top of the already bad recording quality. * 1:14:08 - You mentioned "phygital" earlier in the video but I heard it as "fudgital" (like, fudged digital) and didn't actually know of the term. Maybe this clip might be useful to put before that mention, or you could remove the reference to that actual term then and leave this bit here. * 1:14:24 - I love not only how you tossed the plush into the aether, but that the cat followed it too. * 1:14:39 - Black screen. * 1:15:09 - I know that this is just the abysmal recording setup on their end, but the volume emphasising all of the shifts in their clothes and mouths makes this bit that much worse to follow. You might want to try adding in some EQ and nudging down the audio since I don't think the extra jank is needed to demonstrate the rhetoric. * 1:15:37 - The game audio is great, maybe the voice is a bit louder at the end than it should be. * 1:16:10 - This is just black with no audio either. * 1:17:07 - This clip is a bit longer than it should be. Definitely needs more editing on top of their editing. * 1:17:48 - "That narrative went a little something like this:" (complete silence where there probably was supposed to be VO) * 1:18:13 - Also black without audio. * 1:18:52 - This is a good example of the right length for a clip IMHO. * 1:19:32 - I really don't think this visual helps accomplish your goal here, since there's so much text I'm not sure which part I should focus on. * 1:20:20 - The sandwiching of this clip is a bit weird here -- you show way too little of putting on the headset before the separate clip, then the second half of the reaction with the headset on. I think the whole headset-wearing experience should be before, then just the video of DCL after. * 1:20:30 - I think that the clip should end after "there seems to be a zombie" rather than showing her reaction, since it's all bad anyway and that's a good ending point. * 1:20:56 - I think this is the same clip as earlier? I think that earlier clip cut way too short, but this one cut way too long. Maybe a healthy middle for both. * 1:22:11 - A bit loud. * 1:22:35 - Black screen. * 1:23:25 - Placeholder chapter transition. I think that it was mostly chapter 3 that was too long, and should maybe be split or just heavily trimmed. Also don't know what chapter 5 is about. * 1:24:52 - Click? * 1:25:32 - Still kind of awkward to paraphrase the paragraph while showing it, but I think it's maybe okay here. Maybe visually separate it from the other VO quote graphics. It's just enough text that I don't want to read it unless I pause, so it makes the visual kind of not worth it. * 1:26:45 - I think you definitely need some zooming here on the chat rather than just highlighting. Emphasising the "can you give an example?" a bit better would help I think. * 1:27:00 - A bit loud. * 1:27:15 - Also loud. The contrast feels a bit overdone (even though that's intentional), but maybe you want to up the brightness a bit too. I feel like the presentation and outfit being comedic can stand on their own and don't need the low visibility to help, and it kind of hurts it a bit. * 1:28:29 - This is like, on the cusp of being too much text like I mentioned earlier, while also not too much? I dunno, take this as what you will; I'm just saying things at this point. * 1:29:57 - I like the dial-up noises here and maybe they could be used in the earlier section where you show a "redacted" slide instead of that. It did go a bit longer than it should have, though, I think. * 1:30:37 - A bit quiet. You also call him "Kevin" multiple times but I don't think you ever give his full name, which is fine, but feels a bit weird, like I'm supposed to know even though it doesn't matter. * 1:38:50 - Another unnamed placeholder chapter transition. * 1:41:06 - Again, a little bit too little time on the text, a lot of time on the transitions. Zooming in the text would also help. Aaand that's the whole thing. Apologies for forcing you to sieve through so much but like, you literally asked for it, so, there you go. The video as a whole is a banger as usual, just needs some editing, where "some" here is unfortunately a lot of work considering how the actual video is two hours long. But, that's how it is.

Positive feedback is also feedback, so: You have so much on-screen chemistry with Amy. It's absolutely brilliant.

don't know if this is changeable bc its already shot, but also at 40:50 you say "the organize" instead of "the organization"

god the dragonflight game looks so much worse than the american tale game how is that possible

12:44 - "an overwhelmingly [sic] dose of the rule of cool"

Probably not the type of feedback you're looking for, but your voice around 33:50 consistently triggers my Google Home in the other room, which interprets it as "stop TV" 🥲 gave up and fast-forwarded after 3 attempts 🤡

(Will continue to edit as I finish) Intro music a bit loud for the VO to be audible 5:22 mix is rather abruptly louder than section before Section at 5:40 holds a bit longer than it needs to before transition, comment about snow crash is on screen shorter than title card even though it has more text to read Similar problems with text cards that pop up afterwards. Hold for a smidge longer for readability. Several cuts between 6:15 and 8:00 are a bit jumpy, though not badly so. 8:00 -> 8:46 Missing footage for VO 9:30 missing VO 11:40 card holds too short, trade time with simpler image containing cards. 14:10 missing VO 14:28 missing footage 15:23 -> 16:08 missing footage 16:35 lol 16:45 green screen/roto rough at window border, probably best to leave it as is so no-one gives you flak for driving with the headset on. 17:28 TTS VO is rough, unsure if intentional or placeholder 18:48 is amazing 19:08 roto on glassss/hat is rough 20:32 -> 20:50 missing audio 26:00 TTS VO rough, unsure if intentional or placeholder (similar to earlier comment on same, if it's intentionally bad TTS VO it tends towards the side of being worse than comes across as "funny" at least to me) Pixel blur cuts between scenes in previous few sections (prior to 27:00) could be a bit snappier timing-wise Audio at 28:00 (Eashoo character) entirely mixed to L channel. 37:00 TTS VO rough, see related comments above 49:23 VO audio level drops compared to previous segment 59:20 Audio volume spike for video clip 1:00:30 footage missing 1:07:00 Audio clip volume spike 1:09:31 Audio clip volume spike 1:14:34 footage missing 1:16:06 footage and vo missing 1:17:47 vo missing (if applicable) also, text shown too quickly 1:18:11 footage + vo missing 1:21:14 yes, pet the cat 1:21:36 clip volume spike, not too badly but noticeable 1:22:34 footage missing 1:24:53 yes there is an audio click 1:27:11 audio a tad higher than previous 1:37:53 unsure if there's supposed to be a graphic pointed to here 1:39:11 TTS VO rough, see earlier comments about same 1:40:25 clip volume higher than previous segment 1:44:52 possible pronunciation, I think you said "Kayfabe" which probably has the "e" at the end emphasized more than the previous "a". Definitely a nitpick, up to your discretion. 1:48:12 (you said to point out even the obvious) end credits missing

Gonna compile feedback in this lil post here The Music at the beggining makes it a bit hard to hear the TTS 8:20 theres no footage for the voiceover 9:34 no voiceover 11:30-11:54 something about this part doesnt vibe well together 14:11 no voiceover 14:32 no footage 15:24 no footage no sound at 20:33? 24:00 is this bit meant to appear right after the pizza story? 25:00 yea this part is very disjointed 28:29 audio on the left side only stopping at 43:38 for now