Something You Deserve to Know
You’ve all been here with me through everything... the good chaos and the ugly chaos, so I’m not going to lie or sugarcoat this.
I have a malignant brain tumor. Frontal lobe. They found it last week after an MRI. The words they used were ‘possible intracranial metastases,’ which is a polite way of saying it’s probably already spreading.
They say it explains a lot of who I am. My moods. My fire. My inability to just… shut up and play nice. My self-destructive streak. All of it. This thing has been growing in me for years, changing me. And now it’s killing me too.
The doctors want to cut it out, poison me, fry me, keep me alive in pieces if they can. They say it could save me. Or it could ruin me. Or it could just end me. No guarantees.
And I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. That’s the hardest part is not knowing if I should fight to stay, knowing full well that the me you all fell in love with might not make it through anyway.
I just didn’t want you to find out one day when the posts stop.
All billing here on Patreon has been paused. Please don’t try to send me money. Don’t offer. I don’t want anything from anyone right now except the space to choose what comes next.
Thank you for still being here. For seeing me even when I don’t want to be seen. For making me feel like I matter.
I’ll keep you updated. Until then… don’t pity me. You know better than that.
Comments (6)
I'm praying for your health and recovery. I wish you the best.
Wishing you all the best - I hope you've been able to get excellent professionals. For what it's worth, I've worked with two(!) young ladies in their thirties who both had brain tumors. I'm unsure of the specifics of those, but both ladies got the Surgery+Chemo+Radiotherapy treatment plan. Both got given the "you may not see your loved ones again - write letters" talk and both are the exact same people today, post surgery. Both have no cancer, and haven't had for years and both are flourishing. They say good things come in threes, so I hope you're my third. I'm looking forward to the day I see Aino again, or perhaps just Olivia without Aino. Or better yet, both of you, just like 'yesterday' *hug*. Always here to chat if you want company.
Thoughts are with you. 🙏
You've done incredible work here. I wish you well, whichever path you choose.
Im sorry to hear that and praying for your recovery
I wish you all the best in the world 🫂🫂