71 - What It Means to Fall in Love

RAW

In the residential alleys, a chilly breeze lingered after the rain. Haruto walked alone, head downcast.

"Ah... damn..."

He muttered a curse under his breath, shoulders heavy with regret. After finishing his housekeeping duties at the Tōjō residence, Haruto trudged home, thoughts consumed by the events in Ayaka's room.

"Why did I... sigh..."

Her tearful eyes.

That small, trembling voice filled with hope and fear.

Just thinking about Ayaka—her image, her voice—made his chest ache in a way he'd never experienced before. Why had he run away in that moment?

He knew his feelings for Ayaka were real. Yet, when she tried to get closer, an inexplicable urge to flee had overtaken him. He couldn't understand why he'd acted that way.

"I’m the worst..."

Even during his housekeeping duties, Ayaka had tried to talk to him several times. Haruto, however, pretended to be busy with Ryōta or immersed in cooking, avoiding her. When she invited him to dinner, he lied about having other plans and left the Tōjō house abruptly.

As he walked alone through the twilight streets, he slowly regained his composure. But with it came a growing sense of self-loathing. His actions had been awful.

When Ayaka had approached him, he'd felt an undefined fear. Deep down, he realized he had been afraid of their relationship changing.

He recalled Ayaka's expression as he left—a look of profound anxiety and sadness.

"I didn't know I was such a coward..."

Feeling utterly dejected, Haruto wandered aimlessly through the neighborhood. He found a deserted, dimly lit park and sat on a rusty swing.

"Haa..."

He hung his head, sighing deeply.

How was he supposed to face the Tōjō family again?

Lost in his thoughts, he barely noticed a familiar voice.

"Haruto? What are you doing here?"

He looked up to see Ishikura standing there, holding a paper bag and wearing a puzzled expression.

"Kaz-senpai? What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that. Your house isn’t this way, right?"

"Yeah... I was just... thinking about some stuff..."

Haruto forced a weak smile. Ishikura sighed and sat down on the swing next to him.

"I'll listen if you want to talk."

"Uh, no, it’s fine..."

"Are you sure?"

Haruto hesitated, then finally nodded. But after a long silence, he glanced at Ishikura again.

"Actually... would you mind listening?"

"Of course."

Ishikura, like an older brother figure, smiled warmly. To others, his stern face might seem intimidating, but to Haruto, it was reassuring.

"It might take a while..."

"Don’t worry. Let it all out."

Encouraged, Haruto talked about Ayaka and his feelings, carefully avoiding personal details about the Tōjō family. Ishikura listened without interrupting, nodding occasionally. When Haruto finished, Ishikura pondered for a moment.

"Maybe it has to do with your past."

"My past?"

"You lost your parents in a car accident when you were young. Then, your grandfather passed away when you entered middle school. You’ve lost important people before. Deep down, you’re probably afraid of forming new attachments because you fear losing them too."

"I thought I’d made peace with all that..."

"You think you have. But the heart’s a tricky thing."

Haruto reflected on Ishikura's words. The fear he’d felt when Ayaka approached him—the urge to run—it was because she had become important to him. He feared losing her, just as he’d lost his parents and grandfather.

"Maybe you’re right..."

Acknowledging this, Haruto felt a weight lift. He understood his feelings for Ayaka more clearly now. The fear of making her important to him meant she already was.

"Haa..."

He sighed, this time filled with nervous determination. He couldn’t leave things as they were.

"Kaz-senpai... if she tried to kiss me, does that mean she likes me?"

"Probably. I guess?"

Ishikura’s casual response made Haruto laugh a little. Then, Ishikura grew serious.

"Haruto, do you like her?"

"Yeah... I do."

"Then don’t worry about whether she likes you back. You don’t confess because you think she’ll say yes. You confess because your feelings are real. Respecting her feelings is important, but if you only confess because you think she likes you, you’re missing the point."

Haruto listened in silence.

"What matters is how you feel. Be honest and sincere. If she accepts, great. If not, move on or better yourself until she sees you differently. But don’t waste time worrying about what she thinks. That’s not what real men do."

Haruto smiled, feeling a sense of clarity.

"Thanks, Kaz-senpai. I feel like I’ve woken up."

"Good to hear."

"If I were a girl, I’d fall for you."

"Gross. Stop."

Haruto laughed, feeling lighter. "Thanks again. I owe you one."

"Don’t worry about it." Ishikura stood, grabbing his paper bag.

"What's in there, anyway?"

"Oh, this? A new electric whisk. Best one yet."

With his menacing smile and mysterious bag, Ishikura looked like he was up to something shady. Haruto chuckled.

"I look forward to more of your amazing desserts."

"Count on it."

They left the park, each heading home.

---

On the way home, Haruto made up his mind. He loved Ayaka. He needed to tell her. But first, he had to clear up his past mistakes.

As he entered his house, his heart pounded.

"Welcome home, Haruto," his grandmother greeted him warmly.

"Grandma, there’s something I need to tell you."

To make his relationship with Ayaka real, he needed to face the truth.