41 - His Feelings, Her Feelings

RAW

After finishing cleaning the courtyard, Haruto begins preparing dinner.

Ayaka watches him from the dining table as he fries chicken breast in a pan.

“So, about that… practicing being a couple,” Ayaka begins.

“Yeah?”

Haruto responds while flipping the chicken breast with cooking chopsticks.

“What kind of practice were you thinking of?”

“Well… things like acting like a couple, saying couple-like things, and, um, practicing… skinship?”

Ayaka’s voice speeds up as she speaks the last part, embarrassed.

“Skinship…?” Haruto pauses, mid-motion as he drains the oil from the fried chicken, and looks at Ayaka with a confused expression.

She hastily raises her voice, flustered, trying to explain.

“Because! If we’re awkward about that stuff, your grandma might get suspicious if we’re really a couple or not!”

“Suspicious…?”

They hadn’t even held hands yet because of the embarrassment. Wouldn't it seem sweet and innocent for a young couple to act like that?

“Well, I told my grandma that I recently got a girlfriend, so… if we overdo the skinship, that might seem unnatural.”

“Oh… right… I guess…”

Ayaka’s face falls a little, as if she’s lost some energy, and she looks down, dejected.

Seeing her like that fills Haruto with guilt.

After all, it was his lie that had dragged her into this situation, and he had no right to be making demands of her.

“But, yeah, you’re right. We probably should practice a bit. Acting like a couple out of the blue would be tough. If you don’t mind, Ayaka—if you don’t dislike it—we can practice the skinship too.”

“...Really?”

Ayaka looks up, her face showing a hint of joy. Haruto can’t help but feel his heart race.

“Really. Only if you don’t mind, though.”

“I’m the one who suggested it! Of course I don’t mind.”

Ayaka’s smile returns, radiant and cheerful, completely different from her previous downcast look.

Haruto, feeling flustered, quickly takes the overcooked chicken breast from the pan and places it on a tray with pre-cut onions, bell peppers, and carrots. He then pours his grandmother’s special marinade over the ingredients to make a nanbanzuke dish.

Once he’s done with that, he moves on to prepare the sauce for the somen noodles. At that moment, Ayaka speaks up quietly.

“Hey, Haruto?”

“Yes, what is it?”

He turns toward her as she asks.

“Right now, no one else is home. My dad, my mom, and Ryota are all out…”

Ayaka’s eyes look slightly glazed, her expression warm and alluring.

“Maybe… we could practice… a little?”

Ayaka stands up and makes her way over to the kitchen where Haruto is.

“Uh, um…”

Still holding a tomato he was going to use for the somen sauce, Haruto watches as Ayaka approaches.

When she stops a few steps away from him, she lowers her head for a few seconds as if hesitating. Then, with a determined look, she raises her head, her gaze fixed on Haruto, and steps forward.

“A-Ayaka-san…?”

“Remember, when we’re alone, it’s just Ayaka, right?”

She puffs her cheeks slightly, pretending to be upset, as she takes another step closer to him.

“Haruto…”

Just a little more, and their hands could touch. Haruto’s mind floods with thoughts, and he feels that if he acts on any of them, their relationship might change forever.

Classmates at school. A customer and a housekeeper. Fake lovers…

Haruto feels himself drawn to Ayaka’s warm gaze. Her eyes are beautiful. As he stares into them, he begins to think—

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if their relationship changed. If Ayaka truly wanted that… if she wished for it…

As Haruto’s hand slowly reaches out to her, a lively voice rings out from the entrance.

“I’m home!!”

It’s Ryota’s voice, announcing his return. Haruto and Ayaka both flinch, quickly stepping away from each other.

With a loud clatter of footsteps, the door to the living room bursts open, and Ryota, back from the park, bursts in.

“Big bro!”

The moment Ryota spots Haruto in the kitchen, his face lights up with joy, and he rushes over.

“Big bro, I’m home!”

“Welcome back, Ryota.”

“Are you all better now? Are you feeling okay?”

Ryota looks up at Haruto, his eyes filled with concern, and Haruto smiles at him warmly.

“Thanks for worrying about me. I’m all better now.”

Haruto pats Ryota’s head, making him squint with a ticklish smile.

“Oh, and while you were sick, some lady came over and helped with the housework instead of you.”

“I see. Was her food good?”

“Yeah, but I like your food better! And I like it better when you’re around!”

Ryota beams with a carefree smile, and Haruto’s expression softens.

“I’m making something tasty for you tonight, Ryota. It’ll be ready soon, so how about you wash your hands and gargle while you wait?”

“Okay!”

Ryota nods obediently and rushes off to the washroom.

Once they’re alone again, Haruto glances at Ayaka.

“Looks like practice will have to wait.”

“Yeah…”

Ayaka responds with an embarrassed smile, and Haruto nods awkwardly.

Resuming the dinner preparations, Haruto reflects on the desire he had felt earlier.

When Ayaka came close to him, he had thought about it. He had wanted her to be his. He had wanted to hold her in his arms.

But that was something he couldn’t allow himself to do.

Ayaka was only pretending to be his girlfriend because she trusted him. That trust was the reason she was willing to go along with things like skinship and acting like a real girlfriend.

Betraying that trust wasn’t an option.

However, as Haruto chops the tomato, a thought crosses his mind.

Up until now, he had been overwhelmed with guilt for dragging Ayaka into his lie, and that guilt had kept him from considering her feelings.

How does she feel about him?

Haruto reflects on the time they’ve spent together since meeting through his housework job at the Tojo family. His heart beats a little faster.

Could Ayaka like him?

He’s not certain, but it doesn’t seem impossible.

They had gone to a movie together and held hands. They had gone grocery shopping together. At the park, they had even ended up embracing, albeit unintentionally.

In all those moments, he doesn’t recall her looking displeased.

His time with Ayaka hasn’t been long. There’s still a good chance he’s reading too much into things. But…

A scene flashes through Haruto’s mind. It was from just a few days ago, when Ayaka had come to check on him while he was sick and touched her forehead to his to check his temperature.

Would someone do that if they didn’t like the person?

If Ayaka truly liked him, they wouldn’t need to pretend to be a couple anymore.

Haruto is aware of his own feelings. So, if her feelings are the same…

He shakes his head to snap himself out of it.

“There’s no way… right?”

Haruto and Ayaka haven’t known each other long. While Haruto now understands that the “school idol” image of Ayaka isn’t her true self, it’s still difficult for him to completely shake that image.

The Ayaka everyone knows—the “school idol”—is someone who has no interest in romance, never lets boys get close, surrounds herself with girl friends, and turns down every confession.

That image lingers in his mind, making it hard to believe that Ayaka could like him.

Haruto finishes chopping the tomato and transfers it to a bowl, then moves on to chopping some shiso leaves. He sneaks another glance at Ayaka, who has returned to sitting at the dining table.

When their eyes meet, Ayaka smiles warmly, clearly having been watching him cook the entire time.

“…Dinner will be ready soon.”

“O-Okay.”

They both look away, embarrassed.

Haruto continues chopping the shiso leaves, trying to calm his racing heart.

From now on, before his housework shifts, they’ll be practicing “being a couple” in Ayaka’s room. Of course, they’ll still study together, but…

Haruto can’t quite tell if the fluttering in his chest comes from anxiety or excitement—or if it’s both. Either way, he decides to focus on finishing dinner for now.