25 - Tojo Ayaka's Thoughts②

RAW

The three of us, Otsuki and Ryota, go to Animal Crossing Park.

Just thinking about it makes me excited!

And that morning, Otsuki and I make lunch together!

"I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Yeah, I guess so."

I was surprised at how cheerful my voice was.

I was so excited, but Otsuki was so calm and so mature.

I looked at his profile as he looked out the window.

The other girls at school often talked about how cool that male idol group was, or how great this actor was, but now I think I understand a little bit how they felt.

I feel like I could stare at Otsuki's profile forever.

"Now that I think of it, what's Ryota's favorite food?"

"Huh? Ah, yeah. Ryota's favorite things are... well, He likes fried chicken and tamagoyaki quite a bit."

I was so fascinated by Otsuki's profile that I was surprised when he suddenly spoke to me.

"I see, then shall I put those two in your lunchbox?"

"Yeah."

"What do you like, Tojo-san?"

"Me? I..."

Otsuki-kun, will you make my favorite things too?

What should I do, I'm so happy that my face is starting to grin.

I could eat anything Otsuki-kun makes for me!

"I like wakame seaweed stems."

"Wakame seaweed stems..."

"Ah! No, well, that's not it!"

I'm such an idiot!

I was so happy about Otsuki-kun's cooking that I got carried away and said exactly what I was thinking!

To begin with, the wakame stems are a finished product, and not even Otsuki's home cooking!

What should I do... I'm so embarrassed I can't look him in the eye.

"Shall I bring the wakame stems as a snack?"

"...Ah...yeah..."

"Aside from wakame stems, is there anything else you like that could go in a bento side dish?"

Right now, Otsuki's kindness is painful for me...

It would probably be easier for me if he just laughed.

"...Um, how about a cup gratin...?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

Ugh, I wish I'd said that in the beginning...

"What should we use for the lunch box? I have one at home, but it's a bit plain or subdued... it's like a bento box."

"Oh, I think I have one at home, so let's use that."

"Tojo-san, you have one. That's good. Then, shall we go buy the ingredients tomorrow? Can I keep it in your fridge for just one day?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Um... can I come shopping with you?"

"Of course."

I managed to make an appointment to go shopping together.

After that, we talked a bit more about our plans for the day after tomorrow, and then left the cafe.

"Well... shall we go home?"

"Yeah...."

As we left the store, I stopped for a moment.

Otsuki-kun stopped to join me.

"... well..."

I tried to tell Otsuki-kun what I wanted, but I was too embarrassed to say it.

I want to hold your hand again.

Previously, I was really nervous because I had the excuse that I'd been picked up, but I managed to say it somehow.

But now, I have no excuses.

All I have is my desire to hold hands with Otsuki.

I can't make excuses to myself. I have to express my feelings honestly. That's why I feel even more embarrassed to put them into words.

"You see... well..."

If only I could say those short words, "Let's hold hands."

I could spend happy times with Otsuki again. But because it's such a happy thing to me, I get scared when I think about losing it.

I meaninglessly clench and open my right palm, look down and fidget.

"......"

"Shall we hold hands?"

"What!?"

Otsuki's words made me look up and stare at his face.

"Well... it'd be troublesome if you get hit on again... if you don't mind, Tojo-san..."

Otsuki says, slightly averting his gaze from me.

He holds out his left hand modestly. His cheeks are slightly flushed red.

Otsuki looks so cute when he's embarrassed!!

I wonder if this is what it feels like to have your heart flutter?

"I don't mind! I don't mind at all!"

I jumped at his outstretched hand with a big smile.

I squeezed his palm, our fingers intertwined, and he squeezed back, a little modestly.

What should I do, I can't help but grin.

Otsuki will see my messy face...

I instinctively turned my face away from him, desperately trying to control the corners of my mouth that were rising up involuntarily.

"Well, I'll take you home then."

"Yeah...thanks in advance..."

Ahh, I wish my house was much farther away.

As I looked down at his left hand, which was being gently pulled, I thought that.

---…-…-…-…-…-…-…-…-

That night.

Before going to sleep, I lay in bed and opened my smartphone.

--Today, I watched a movie with Otsuki!!

I immediately sent a message to my best friend and love mentor, Saki, to let her know.

Along with the message, I also sent a stamp of a bear saluting bravely.

Soon after, Saki called.

I tapped the screen of my smartphone to connect the call, and Saki's bouncy voice came in.

"Congratulations! How was your date with Otsuki?"

"Yeah, I think it was a success."

I even managed to hold hands, so that's a success, right?

"Oh! You did it!"

"Yeah, thank you!"

"So? Did today's date bring you closer to Otsuki?"

"Maybe... we got closer enough to hold hands."

"--Huh?! Eh? Hands? Eh?! Eh?"

Saki seems to have fallen into a trap where she can't say more than one word.

"Wait a minute?! Eh? Did you hold hands with Otsuki on your date?"

"Yeah, we were holding hands even while watching the movie."

"Hey hey hey! What's that?! Eh? Maybe you've started dating already?"

Saki's confused voice makes me confused too.

"Eh? No, not yet. Saki told me not to confess yet."

"Oh, okay... I see... so you're not dating yet..."

Saki's confused reaction makes me a little uneasy.

"W-Was it bad to hold hands on the first date?"

Dating is a new experience for me, as I have no experience in love, and I don't know the general standards.

Saki told me not to use manga or novels as a reference.

"Well, I wouldn't say it's bad... I'd say it's good... well, maybe your sense of distance is a bit off?"

"My sense of distance is off..."

I guess it was weird to suddenly hold hands on the first date after all? What should I do... What if Otsuki thinks I'm weird...

"S-Saki... did I... do something wrong...?"

"Well... I wonder? Anyway, how did you end up holding hands?"

When Saki asked me, I told her everything, from holding hands after he picked me up, to holding hands like lovers at the end of the movie.

"Hmm, I see, I see..."

"I wonder?"

Seeing Saki deep in thought, my anxiety grows.

"Ayaka, you were really aggressive."

"... I think I went too far."

"Well, I guess you did. This isn't the world of manga, so suddenly holding hands like lovers, you should just hurry up and start dating!"

"Eh? I wonder if we're... um, dating now?"

Like today, every time we go out, holding hands like lovers, going to different places on dates... just thinking about it makes me happy.

“Otsuki’s reaction when you held hands wasn’t bad, right? Well, if you confess, there’s a good chance it will be successful, right?”

“Well, then! Confess tomorrow…”

“Wait!!”

Saki sharply stops me.

“There’s a good chance that the confession will be successful, but it’s not 100%. Are you still okay with it, Ayaka?”

“Eh, but… if there’s a good chance…”

“If you get rejected, that’s the end of your love, you know?”

Saki’s words made my heart sink.

Our love is over.

In other words, I’ll never go on a date with Otsuki, we’ll never get closer, and our relationship won’t deepen.

We’ll never hold hands like we did today…

Just imagining that future makes my eyes swell with tears.

“No… I absolutely don’t want that.”

“Right? If that's the case, you want to increase your chances, right?'

'Yeah. But... what should I do?'

The only way I can think of is to honestly tell Otsuki how I feel.

'Good Ayaka, the most important thing in love is tactics.'

'Tactics...'

There are a lot of those in romance manga, but... can I do something that skillful?

'On this date, Otsuki asked to hold hands, and he must have been thinking about Ayaka.'

'I-Is that so?'

'Definitely. He held hands after Ayaka told him, 'I'm your boyfriend!', right?'

'Ah, that was because the guy who was hitting on me was persistent...'

Somehow, thinking back on that time made me feel really embarrassed...

As I blushed and fainted, Saki explained to me.

'That's right! The guy who was hitting on you was the important one! "

"Eh? Is that so?"

"Ayaka held hands with Otsuki to get rid of that guy trying to pick you up, and to stop him from hitting on you anymore, right?"

"Well...yeah."

"That justification is important. Without it, Ayaka would have clearly said to Otsuki, "I love you!"

"I...I can't...like I love you...but I do...I love you..."

When I put it into words again, it's really embarrassing.

Well, I admit that I like you, but I'm not really into that...hehe...

"You know, someone who held hands with you on the first date shouldn't be embarrassed about something like this."

"But..."

"Yeah, yeah, so that's why. Otsuki must have thought that Ayaka had feelings for him."

Saki replied in a stunned voice and continued the story.

Ugh...my love teacher is a strict spartan...

"But he couldn't be sure of Ayaka's feelings. After all, she nominally avoids guys."

"Hmm, so that lack of certainty is the bargaining game?"

"Exactly! If you're not sure, you'll worry, right? Do you like me? No, but... That's how Otsuki thinks about Ayaka endlessly."

"Otsuki thinks about me... endlessly..."

"That's right! And before you know it, Ayaka fills his head!"

"Otsuki's head is full of me... full of me..."

"And before you know it, Otsuki has fallen in love with Ayaka too!"

"Otsuki... thinks of me... uuuuu..."

What should I do? When I imagine Otsuki confessing to me, my body starts twitching on its own!

"So, you'll continue to appeal to Otsuki-kun aggressively. But you can't let him think, 'Oh, this girl likes me!' Got it?"

"Yes! Got it! Then Otsuki-kun will like me!"

"Well, it's not guaranteed though."

Maybe Otsuki-kun is still thinking about me?

If so, I'll be very happy.

"I'll try my best to negotiate!"

"Yeah. Well, Ayaka is a runaway love train right now, so she's probably going to ruin a lot of things... but for now, just do your best."

"Runaway love trains aren't that blind, are they?"

"...Yeah. Well, I'll give you advice again if anything happens."

"Yeah, thanks."

"You're welcome. Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight."

After exchanging goodbyes, I ended the call with Saki.

Bargaining, huh... Love is difficult.

But...

If it works out, and my love comes to fruition, I'll be able to hold hands with Otsuki again and go on dates.

Then as real lovers.

Then I'd like to go to lots of places.

Shopping together, going to the beach. I'd like to watch movies together again, and of course holding hands.

Otsuki's hands were so big and warm...

As I lie in bed, I recall the feel of his hands.

Hands that gently wrap around me.

The hands of the person I love, the person I care about.

Just holding hands makes my heart beat so hard, but also gives me a sense of security and makes me happy. Through our holding hands, my whole body is filled with joy.

As my slumber deepens, I pull my right hand, which was holding Otsuki's, closer to my chest and wrap it around my left hand.

By doing this, I feel like I can meet him even in my dreams...

Today might have been the happiest day of my life.

But if I were to go out with him, I'm sure it would easily surpass the happiness I feel today.

Dreaming of such a future, I slowly lowered my eyes, trusted the amulet in my right hand, and entrusted the continuation of this happy day to my dreams.

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Ayaka's feelings for Haruto: If we could meet in our dreams...