A few days passed.

When Tony walked into the recovery room looking thoroughly pleased with himself, Loki's gaze swept swiftly behind him. Only after confirming Tony had come alone did Loki turn away with an unfriendly expression, making it entirely clear there would be no greeting.

Thor had no choice but to take on that responsibility.

"Tony, my friend, you came alone today — oh, thank you so much! As I thought, you truly are my best friend on Earth!"

Thor gratefully and swiftly snatched the large bag of snacks from Tony's hands. Heaven knew how miserable these past days had been, eating nothing but leafy vegetables in those nutrition meals until Thor's face had nearly gone green.

Hearing this, Tony slid off the sunglasses and hung them on his chest, then strutted a lap around the room. "Is that so? Funny, I seem to recall you saying the same thing to Bruce."

"Best friend, huh?"

Thor had honed the art of telling each person exactly what they wanted to hear to a near-supernatural degree. His eyes drifted evasively as he fished a pack of snacks out of the bag with a guilty conscience.

"Tony, how much longer before we can get out of here? Honestly, I feel like I'm already almost completely — very much better."

Hearing Thor's lightning-fast self-correction, Tony, who understood everything perfectly, simply watched with a smiling squint. Just as Thor's spirits began to lift, thinking this time there might be hope, Tony finally spoke and turned him down flat.

"Out of the question, Thor. You and Bambi here are the great heroes who saved the universe, how could we let you leave before you've made a full recovery?"

"Don't worry, I checked with the doctors. Estimated another three months and you'll both be free to move around."

Tony said this with great thoughtfulness, in a tone that conveyed it was entirely for Thor's own good, and didn't forget to pat Thor on the shoulder while flashing a wide grin at the God of Thunder, whose face looked about ready to cry.

Watching Thor and Tony's conversation grow livelier by the minute, Loki finally couldn't hold back any longer. From a blind spot outside Tony's field of vision, Loki landed a fierce kick square on Thor's backside, and maintained a perfectly composed expression throughout.

"Tony — ow!"

Thor had been about to say something more, but what came out instead was a yelp of pain. Terrified that Tony would use that yelp as an excuse to tack on a few more months of recovery time, Thor hurriedly swallowed the rest of the cry back down.

At the same moment, Loki's voice reached his ear, Loki was using magic to send a private message again.

"Ahem... what I mean is, Luoluo hasn't come by in a long time. I remember she used to stop in once every day."

There was nothing for it. As an older brother, one always had to step up at the critical moment, such as when a younger brother was too embarrassed to ask about where his girlfriend had gone.

"You mean Luoluo..."

Under the gaze of both brothers, Tony slowly furrowed a brow and put on the expression of someone wanting to speak but stopping short. A few words, then silence. The look on Tony's face was grave enough to make anyone uneasy.

Just as Loki's heart lurched and every nerve was screaming for Tony to just finish the sentence, Tony finally opened his mouth under the expectant stares of both brothers.

"Alas. Since it's come to this, I won't hide it from you two any longer."

Tony sighed and moved to stand by the window, face full of melancholy, while inwardly convulsing with laughter at the way the brothers' expressions kept shifting like a turning color wheel.

"Actually... Luoluo, she, alas..." Another round of theatrical agonizing. Only when Loki was visibly gritting his teeth and looked about a second away from charging forward did Tony finally hurry and speak.

A prank was a prank, but getting beaten up wasn't worth it.

"As you both know, that snap brought back half of all life in the universe, and now social order is in chaos. Every Avenger is on missions every single day, Luoluo is naturally no exception."

"Unfortunately, Luoluo was wounded on one of those missions. She's still lying in a hospital room right now. Unconscious."

Tony let out a theatrical sigh and deployed every dramatic skill at his disposal to perform a look of extreme worry, stealing a sidelong glance at Loki, whose face had gone ashen. Inside, Tony was absolutely delighted.

That'll teach you to pull tricks and deceive people! If I don't give you a proper lesson this time, my name isn't Anthony Stark!

"What! How could this happen —"

"Where is she?"

Thor's shock wasn't even finished before Loki's urgent voice cut straight through it. Loki clenched both fists, voice trembling as he asked.

Tony sighed, worked hard to suppress the laughter rising up, and led both of them to a monitoring screen. Neither of the brothers even registered why Tony, who had just been insisting they rest and recuperate, was now walking them straight out the door.

On the monitor, Yang Luoluo lay in bed wearing a hospital gown, eyes shut. The stark white blanket made her complexion look all the paler.

The respirator mask on her face. The cardiac monitor on the table beside her. The bloodstains faintly seeping through her hospital gown. Each one proclaimed the same fact:

She was badly hurt.

Loki braced against the table, eyes locked unblinkingly on the screen. Tony even noticed, with a sharp eye, that hairline cracks were slowly spreading across the surface beneath Loki's hands.

Satisfying. Note to self: have Thor cover the cost of the table later.

Tony thought this with quiet contentment.

After all, setting up an intensive care room was child's play. Yang Luoluo had only needed to change into a specially prepared bloodstained hospital gown, lie there for a few minutes, and those few minutes of footage could be looped on the monitor, more than enough to fool two ancient divine relics who had no understanding whatsoever of modern technology.

Worth mentioning: the pallid, gravely-ill makeup on Yang Luoluo's face had been painstakingly applied by professional special agent Natasha Romanoff herself. Absolutely convincing.

As for Yang Luoluo? She and Wanda and a few others had been dispatched by the Avengers on a mission to England. For all anyone knew, the mission was already over and she was happily enjoying herself in the Wizarding World right now.

At this point, Tony didn't mind fanning the flames a little more.

"Alas, this is all our fault. If only someone had been there to protect her..."

The performance grew more spirited with each line, until Tony even raised a hand to wipe away tears that weren't there.

Thor looked at the monitor, then turned to look at Loki. At this point, Thor didn't know what to say anymore.

If they hadn't chosen to put on an act and fake their injuries, they wouldn't have been pinned down in the recovery room with no freedom of movement. They could have joined everyone else on missions. And maybe... Yang Luoluo wouldn't have been hurt this badly.

Loki understood that logic too. His eyes dropped, those green irises clouding over as though a layer of mist had settled across them, remorse churning through him.

Loki forced himself to stay rooted to the spot and kept staring without blinking at the pale-faced young woman on the monitor. The guilt and self-reproach felt like an invisible hand clamped tight around his heart. He couldn't breathe.

It was all his fault. He should never have had that sudden idea after the snap, should never have made that decision at all.

But all the regret in the world came too late. What had happened had happened. No matter how badly Loki wanted to go back to a few days ago and land a solid punch on his past self, that was impossible.

A suffocating silence spread through the room.

At some point, Tony quietly pulled Thor away. Ever the devoted performer, Tony didn't forget to say to Thor with a sigh:

"Let him have a moment alone..."

The room fell completely silent, leaving Loki alone before the monitor without a word.

His fingers lightly brushed the surface of the screen. After a long moment, a trembling voice rang out in the empty room.

"I'm sorry..."

"Ha!"

In another room, Tony burst out laughing at the sight of it. "Well, well, never thought I'd see the day for Bambi!"

Nothing could make Tony happier than seeing a trickster god brought low like this. Not even Hulk body-slamming Loki.

Steve had heard the entire plan laid out a few days ago, but even now still felt something about it wasn't quite right.

Steve furrowed a brow, tone uncertain. "Loki is, after all, a god of lies. Can this plan... actually fool him?"

"Relax, old popsicle. Once I put my hand to something, there's nothing I can't pull off!" Tony clapped Steve on the shoulder and spoke with completely unmasked confidence and arrogance.

"I bet you've never heard this one." Natasha curved a smile. "When a man and a woman are in love, their IQ drops to zero."

Just as Loki had been completely oblivious to Yang Luoluo's act, how would a Loki drowning in guilt and regret ever notice it was just a looped video?

Never mind that this was an ancient relic who had lived for a thousand years.

The whole roomful of people felt supremely confident.

➤ Next: Diagon Alley — The Conversation

Chapter 124 - Diagon Alley — The Conversation

Diagon Alley.

The streets that had sat empty during the war were packed with people now. The dark clouds that had hung overhead for years had finally parted, and the lively clamor filling every corner reflected the witches' and wizards' lighthearted cheer.

There were far more Muggles than before. People in Muggle clothing stood everywhere, gazing around in open-mouthed wonder, the lasting mark left by wizards joining the fight in Endgame.

Some wizards had finally gathered the courage to come clean to Muggles they knew, admitting what they were and bringing them along to explore Diagon Alley.

And given the existence of Norse gods and aliens and all manner of other supernatural beings, ordinary people had taken to wizards quite well. So far, not a single cry for blood.

Yang Luoluo sat by the window at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, listlessly poking at the ice cream in front of her.

Hermione sat across from her, taking small sips of a drink, but never once looked away from the girl on the other side of the table. Concern was written all over Hermione's face.

Yang Luoluo had been like this for several days now.

"So what you're saying is... Loki wasn't actually that badly hurt, but put on an act in front of you to make you think he was gravely injured?" Hermione asked, choosing her words carefully.

Yang Luoluo nodded, then shook her head. Her voice came out thoroughly dejected.

"He really was injured. Just not as badly as he made it look."

She'd been an idiot, too. The moment she saw Loki coughing and spitting blood in that dramatic string of theatrics, she'd panicked completely and never noticed anything was off.

"Is it possible... he just wanted you to pay him a little more attention?"

Yang Luoluo looked utterly drained, and honestly, she'd looked this way ever since arriving in the Wizarding World a few days ago. Worried sick, Hermione hurried to say something comforting.

"Maybe, but... that's still going too far. He knows perfectly well this is what I'm most afraid of. Even now, whenever I remember the scene of his death, my chest just—clenches, on its own..."

Yang Luoluo finally scooped up a spoonful of the thoroughly mashed ice cream, pushed it into her mouth, and mumbled, "And then he goes and uses that to trick me."

Hermione didn't know what "that death" meant. But that didn't stop Hermione from imagining the same thing happening to Ron Weasley.

If Ron Weasley had ever collapsed right in front of Hermione, only to joke about it later...

Hermione gripped the spoon, expression going blank.

Hermione was fairly sure Ron Weasley would get beaten until Harry couldn't recognize him.

"Mm-hmm, right? I knew you'd feel the same way." Yang Luoluo raised an eyebrow at Hermione, confidently waiting for agreement.

Hermione nodded, switching sides without a second's hesitation. "You're completely right. That is way too much!"

If Hermione had spent the past few days gently nudging Yang Luoluo toward forgiving Loki, those days were over. Now Hermione wanted to see him suffer for it.

"I support you staying here a few more days. None of us have anything going on lately anyway—we can take you around." Hermione already knew about Tony Stark's plan, and now was backing it wholeheartedly.

"Oh, except for those two." Hermione pointed toward the tall building diagonally across the street. Above its entrance sat a massive sculpted head, and it looked exactly like the Weasley twins.

A black top hat sat on the statue's head, and at regular intervals a sculpted hand above the door would lift the hat with great ceremony, revealing something different every time, sometimes a rabbit, sometimes a flock of owls, and sometimes a Cornish pixie that chattered and shrieked at passersby.

That was Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Looking more closely, Harry and Ron Weasley were standing at the door looking thoroughly flustered, doing their best to manage the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd of customers pressing in.

Yang Luoluo was willing to bet that at least two-thirds of those customers were there purely for the name. As heroes who had saved the Wizarding World and then the entire universe, Harry Potter and the rest had been on the receiving end of a truly unreasonable volume of fan mail lately.

As a result, the Black ancestral home was now carpeted in owl feathers. Every morning started with the sound of Kreacher's grumbling sweeping and Sirius Black's loud scolding, with Regulus Black's weary attempts at keeping the peace woven in between.

No wonder George and Fred had dumped the Magic Parchment promotion job on Harry and Ron Weasley. That had been their plan all along.

Watching the two of them look so flustered they seemed ready to sink through the floor, Yang Luoluo couldn't hold back a laugh. The weight that had been sitting on her chest lightened a little with it.

"So are George and Fred still running the 'free for Harry, double for Ron' pricing scheme?" Yang Luoluo asked, blinking curiously.

Hermione pressed her lips together against a laugh. "Yes. Ron Weasley actually sent a whole wall of text via Magic Parchment two days ago to curse them out. Something along the lines of: 'I'm busting my back promoting your stuff, and you actually charged me ten Galleons for a Skiving Snackbox! I'm your own brother!'"

"And then?"

"Probably scared Ron would actually quit, George had no choice but to let Ron take whatever was wanted—though I suspect Ron's going to have a rough time once they get back."

"Like pulling back the quilt and finding a nest of baby spiders underneath? I imagine Peter Parker is going to wonder why Ron's stopped talking to him again."

The two of them dissolved into laughter.

George and Fred were still at the Avengers Compound with Tony Stark, working out how to connect the Wizarding World to the internet. Poor Ron Weasley had no idea of walking into a trap, thinking the twins had been outsmarted, completely unaware that danger was quietly closing in.

"All right, let's go help them." Hermione pushed the empty glass aside and smiled. "Otherwise they'll complain all night once we get back to the Black ancestral home."

As close as family, Harry, Ron Weasley, and Hermione had been rotating between Godric's Hollow, the Burrow, Hermione's home, and 12 Grimmauld Place throughout this period.

Since they were watching the joke shop for the twins, though, all three had simply been staying at the Black ancestral home for the time being. Even Yang Luoluo, who had come to the Wizarding World on a temporary break after wrapping up a mission, was staying there.

Yang Luoluo nodded, and the two of them stood up and headed toward Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

Harry and Ron Weasley spotted them from a distance, and their faces immediately lit up as if salvation had arrived. Both came rushing over.

"Merlin! How can they possibly have that many questions! Someone even asked me what Lord Voldemort actually looked like. I already said he looked like a braised egg, and they still wanted to know—what shape of braised egg..."

The second Ron Weasley saw Hermione, every grievance held in came pouring out. Without missing a beat, Ron leaned against Hermione's shoulder and started venting, and Hermione, thoroughly used to this, simply smiled and listened.

Standing off to the side, Yang Luoluo and Harry exchanged a look. They might as well have been two hundred-watt light bulbs. Both quietly stepped back, putting distance between themselves and the happy couple.

After a while longer, Harry, who had no girlfriend Ginny Weasley present to balance things out and was simply being subjected to Ron and Hermione's complete disregard for their surroundings, finally hit the limit. Harry reached over and physically separated the two, then indignantly herded the entire group into the shop.

Everyone was here. Everyone was working. No exceptions.

Ron Weasley went back to the post with a scowl, but not before firing a parting shot over one shoulder: "Mate, you'd better not let me catch you alone with Ginny Weasley."

You'll regret it if you do.

The threat from a future brother-in-law caught Harry completely off guard. It took a beat for it to land, and when it did, Harry's face shifted into an expression of genuine regret, which sent Yang Luoluo and Hermione into another round of laughter.

...

That was it. This was not a job for human beings.

Yang Luoluo fled Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes like something was chasing her, running straight to Flourish and Blotts and collapsing into a seat before finally managing to breathe.

The magical merchandise inside Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes filled countless shelves stacked three stories high. Whenever a customer wanted a look at something, Harry and the others could flick their wands and bring it down with a Summoning Charm. She, on the other hand, one poor, wandless Muggle, had been climbing up and down a ladder for two straight hours.

Yang Luoluo felt like her legs were not far from complete failure.

At least she'd managed to escape on the excuse of buying books. Yang Luoluo rubbed her aching calves and quietly counted herself lucky.

It wasn't just any random excuse, either. Once Hogwarts started its new term, she was going to be the Muggle Studies professor, naturally she needed to pick up a few books and get familiar with the subject ahead of time.

She rested a little longer. Thanks to her abilities, the soreness in her calves had already faded by more than half. Yang Luoluo grabbed a basket by the entrance and started working her way along the shelves.

Let's see,

A History of Magic was a definite. Yang Luoluo's knowledge of the Wizarding World still came almost entirely from seven novels, and she badly needed something to fill in the gaps.

Important Modern Magical Discoveries. Interesting. One of those.

The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle, seemed to be bedtime reading for young wizards. One of those too.

Muggle Studies: Inventions You Wouldn't Believe, which appeared to be the original course textbook for Muggle Studies. That was obviously going in the basket as well...

Before she realized it, Yang Luoluo had filled the basket completely. Just as she was about to set it down to give her arms a rest, a familiar hand appeared from beside her and lifted the basket clean out of her grip.

➤ Next: An Apology — Face to Face