Mushoku Tensei — Chapter 163 - If6 — Heartbreak

"Rudeus."

"Mm?"

"You've seemed... in a pretty good mood lately."

"Have I? Yeah, I guess I've been alright."

Nanahoshi glanced at Aisha, who was wandering curiously around the lab.

I knew what she was thinking. Nothing more than that it wasn't good for me to treat Aisha like my own little sister.

But that's fine, isn't it? I know she isn't my sister.

She doesn't even call me "big brother"...

But still...

I want to watch Aisha grow up, just like this.

She looks far too much like my Aisha.

The way she'll look when she's grown... it should be exactly how my Aisha would have looked.

That thought was all it took. I decided to stay by her side properly.

The Mind Magic experiments are still ongoing.

"Lord Rudeus..."

Because I wouldn't allow her to call me "big brother," Aisha took it upon herself to call me "Lord" instead.

I don't mind. Anything is fine, as long as she doesn't call me that.

"Mm? What is it?"

"I'm hungry..."

"Alright. Let's eat then."

Nanahoshi's lab now kept food stocked at all times. Everything needed to be cooked, but Nanahoshi apparently already treated this place as her home, all the furniture and kitchenware were here.

I cooked noodles for Aisha and added a fried egg on top.

She sat in her chair with her knife and fork already in hand, waiting, her face bright with an expression she couldn't quite hide.

It really is just a resemblance. If it were my Aisha... she definitely wouldn't make a face like that.

My Aisha was far too clever for that. She definitely would have... definitely...

No. Don't think about it.

Whenever I think of Aisha, I end up thinking of Eris too...

Hah...

I carried the bowl over.

"Thank you, Lord Rudeus!"

"Eat well. If it's not enough, say so."

"Mm!"

---

Walking back to the experiment table, I channeled mana into Nanahoshi's Magic Circle.

Nanahoshi kept writing as she spoke.

"Rudeus."

"Mm?"

"What you're doing. It isn't good."

"...You're not afraid of me anymore?"

"I thought about it. If you beat me to death, then so be it." She paused. "Actually, no — if you ever decide you want to kill me, just warn me first. I'll take the ring off, and you can do it as fast and painlessly as possible."

"I'm not going to kill you."

"Good. Then — what you're doing isn't good."

"Why?"

"Entrusting all your longing to a substitute is dangerous. For you, and for that child."

"Why do you say that..."

"It's only been a few days, hasn't it? Look at yourself. You still dare say you haven't treated her like your little sister? You've only stopped her from calling you 'big brother.' What's actually in your heart — only you know that."

I said nothing.

I told myself I hadn't treated Aisha as my Aisha.

She wasn't as clever.

Wasn't as sensible.

Wasn't as mischievous.

Wasn't as full of life.

She was just... an outer shell.

Only, it was an outer shell that looked exactly like my little sister's.

Don't I even have the right to entrust my longing to her?

But.

Nanahoshi was right. If I'm being honest, I... already know that too.

Otherwise, why haven't I brought her home?

Isn't it precisely because I'm afraid, afraid that the moment Lilia sees her, she'll do the same thing I've been doing? Pour all her longing into this child, and never find her way back out.

➤ Next: If7 — What Was Lost