Mushoku Tensei — Chapter 103 - Operation 3, Ruijerd

"Rudeus Greyrat, this is not what you said before!"

A green-haired demon. More precisely, a member of the legendary cursed race, the Sperd Tribe.

A year ago, when I returned to the Demon Continent, I met Ruijerd Sperdia. He had a large group of children with him at the time.

Because of his hair color, almost no city would let him through the gates. The towns on the Demon Continent weren't the type to take in strays, either. So Ruijerd kept the children with him. I hadn't wanted to get involved.

But at Eris and Aisha's insistence, I helped those children back to where they belonged. That was how I came to know Ruijerd.

A true member of the Sperd Tribe.

Right now, he was furious, because he'd found out I'd been experimenting on slaves.

"Ruijerd, if someone wants to die, would you force them to live?"

"Rudeus! You are experimenting on a living human being. Even if he wants to die, you cannot do this!"

Ruijerd raised his spear and brought it down toward me.

The tip wasn't far from my neck when Eris blocked it.

I shook my head, signaling her to lower the sword.

Eris snorted, displeased, and sheathed it.

"Ruijerd, this is what these slaves want."

"But what you said before was to free them. To let them live well!"

"I did that. I gave them money, work, a normal place in society. Where exactly have I fallen short?"

"You've done everything right — that's why I trusted you. But this experiment... Rudeus! This is evil!"

I had expected this reaction. I know what kind of man Ruijerd is.

Honor, above life itself.

I don't dislike people like him. I can't say I'm particularly fond of them, either.

The reason I gave him my word and kept him close was to change how the world sees green hair. Mainly for Sylphie's sake.

A high-ranking figure protecting commoners, shifting public perception toward the green-haired. It's a familiar play.

I took a deep breath.

"Ruijerd, I saved them. They didn't want to go on living. I gave them a painless death. Is that truly wrong?"

I knew how hollow those words were. The experiments I'm running are brain-invasion magic experiments. A painless death doesn't exist.

Before the end, they suffer. That is absolute.

All of it, for the plan. And for Zenith's illness.

"Then tell me straight. In the past year, how many people have died in your experiments?"

"203."

"Rudeus!"

"They volunteered. Every time, I ask them one question."

[If you want to live, take one step forward. If you want to die, stay where you are. Don't move.]

"Every time, there are always 10 or so who don't want to go on. Ruijerd, if it were you — what would you do?"

That stopped him. He stiffened.

His expression went distant, as if he'd just remembered what it feels like to exist in this world with no family, no one to lean on. How deep that despair runs.

"You told me about your past. So you should understand what goes through the minds of people who don't want to live."

"But... but...!"

"You have a goal. You want to change how the world sees the Sperd Tribe. That's why you can keep walking. But what about them? Even when I promised them money and a place in society, they refused. Every single death was voluntary."

I stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I kept this from you so long. But think about it, how many slaves have I freed? How many people have I saved?"

Ruijerd's expression wavered. I pressed on.

"You've only been at my side for about a year. In the cities we've traveled through, the commoners have already started calling you a savior, the green-haired man with Rudeus, suspected of being Sperd Tribe. In some regions, the Tribe's reputation has already shifted. You can feel that, can't you?"

"I... understand. But are these slaves truly willing to die?"

I smiled and led him to the slaves' quarters.

They were underground, beneath a castle.

The rooms weren't shabby. Each slave had their own small space, a hundred times better than the cages they'd been kept in before.

Food sat in front of their doors. The kind of simple meal commoners eat in this world. Most of it was untouched.

They looked like people waiting for death. And I was their savior.

Or perhaps the more accurate word was death god.

The moment they saw me, the quarters stirred.

"Anyone change their mind today? No one wants to keep living?"

I walked to the center and asked. The slaves gave no answer.

After a long silence, one door opened.

"Lord Rudeus, let me be your test subject today. I want to go be with my wife..."

I glanced at the man who had spoken, then looked at Ruijerd.

What he was seeing seemed to shatter something in him. He stared blankly, not saying a word.

He could see it. There was nothing in their eyes. No desire to live. Not even a flicker.

It was the same expression he saw looking back at himself from the river, back when he'd killed his own kin.

"I'll come again tomorrow. Those who want to live — eat your food."

I led Ruijerd and Eris out of the quarters.

Back at the laboratory, I spoke.

"So. How do you feel now?"

Ruijerd said nothing.

I nodded.

"If you have no objections, we continue the plan tomorrow. We're nearly done, actually."

"Mm..."

"Now it comes down to Aisha's side..."

...

Night. I lay on the inn bed, Eris at my side.

"Rudeus..."

"Mm?"

"Are you tired?"

Her voice was soft. As she spoke, she drew my head into her arms, pulling it against her chest.

"A little. But not too bad."

"Every time you finish one of your experiments... your expression is awful. And... are you really not going to tell Roxy and Sylphie?"

I gave a bitter smile.

"Because I experience their pain alongside them. Trying to work through those memories, it's harder than it sounds. As for Roxy and Sylphie... there's no need to tell them."

"Mm... then... are we not going back through the teleportation circle tonight?"

"What does Eris want to do?"

Eris lowered her head and kissed my forehead.

I went still. It's rare to see her like this.

Back in the old days, she would have already stripped off my clothes and gotten straight to making babies.

"Rudeus?"

"Mm? What?"

"You spaced out."

"Ah... what did Eris just say?"

"I said..." She blushed, voice dropping to a murmur. "Kiss me. Kiss Eris Greyrat, who belongs to Rudeus."

Somehow, tonight Eris was being a little clingy.

Without hesitation, I kissed her.

When the kiss broke, Eris was still catching her breath.

"Rudeus... you'll never change, right?"

"Mm-hmm? I'll get old, you know."

"That's not what I meant! I mean..."

I knew what she meant.

She was afraid. Afraid that these experiments would change me. Or maybe it was the obsession itself, the fixation on curing Zenith, that she was afraid would change me.

"Don't worry. No matter what happens, no matter what I go through, my love for Eris and my love for my family will not change. Not even a little."

"Mm... Even if Rudeus does change, I'll still love you."

Her voice was gentle. But her hands had already started to wander.

"Miss Eris...? In the middle of such a tender moment..."

"It's rare that Rudeus belongs only to me."

And so the night unfolded, tangled and unhurried.

➤ Next: Operation 4 — Words Unspoken