Mushoku Tensei — Chapter 78 - Aftermath, Confession — Heartbreak

"Rudy, use detection magic!"

Roxy's shout came from right beside me.

I had never turned it off.

But suddenly, the range collapsed.

The moment Ghislaine dropped all the smoke bombs, without any warning at all.

"What's happening...?"

First time I'd ever encountered this. Panic flashed through me before I could stop it.

I could only sense what was immediately around me. Wide-range detection was gone.

And around me, there was only Teacher Roxy.

When my magic found the hydra, it had already closed the distance. It was charging straight at Teacher Roxy.

What do I do? Cast magic? Will I even make it in time? I barely use wind magic, can I control the force precisely enough?

No. There's no time for any of that.

Teacher is on my right. Very close.

Two seconds? Maybe one?

In that span of time, there was no room for a rational decision.

On instinct, I thrust out my right hand and shoved Teacher Roxy with everything I had.

I didn't know if I could save her. I didn't know if I'd die for it.

But when the hydra roared past me, I knew I'd made the right call.

She was safe. The hydra was right there. I cast Ice Magic and sliced off its last head.

I was about to exhale when something wrong with my body froze me in place.

Hm...? What is this? It hurts!?

The pain hadn't appeared out of nowhere. When I finally became aware of it, it felt like it had already been there for a long time.

"Ah..."

I looked down. My right hand, the one that should have been holding the Arrogant Water Dragon King, was gone.

I deserved that. It was the most immediate thought in my head.

If I'd kept calm and used wind magic properly, it wouldn't have come to this.

With my current healing magic, regrowing a severed arm isn't something I can do.

Wind swept through. The smoke cleared.

Everyone was looking at me.

Roxy had a hand over her mouth.

Sylphiette stood frozen.

Elinalise and Talhand had turned their heads away.

Roxy and Sylphiette came back to themselves at the same moment and rushed to my side. Healing magic, then bandaging. Both at once.

Teacher Roxy cast and cast, and somewhere in the middle of it, tears started falling.

"I'm sorry... If I had just been a little more careful..."

"It's not Teacher's fault. Besides, trading one right hand to save Teacher is an absolute bargain."

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... If I hadn't insisted on coming to the labyrinth... when I was clearly useless..."

Nothing I say will land right now. In Teacher Roxy's eyes it's all just words, just temporary comfort.

She'll convince herself I'm burying resentment somewhere deep. But the truth is, besides the pain, I don't feel much of anything about it.

One right hand. That just means some inconvenience in daily life. Zenith has already been saved. From here on, I just need to live normally.

I was still turning that over in my head when someone grabbed me.

Both of them. Sylphiette and Roxy, holding on.

They didn't say anything. They just held me.

I reached out to pat their heads, then remembered I only had one hand. A little awkward.

"It's really fine. I'm a mage. It's just one hand."

"Rudy, I really, really want to yell at you right now. But seeing you like this, I can't get the words out."

"Sylphie's scolding me now, huh? Ha."

"I don't want to joke with you right now, Rudy..."

Paul and Ghislaine walked up and stared at me. Neither of them said anything.

Paul opened his mouth. Closed it.

"I'm sorry — my crime deserves death!"

Ghislaine shouted and dropped to his knees.

Looking at him there in front of me, I was angry.

Not because of the arm. Because if I hadn't lost the arm, Teacher Roxy would have died. Ghislaine would have killed her.

He's an experienced adventurer. How does someone like that make a move like that?

I didn't respond to him. I looked at Paul instead.

"Let's go rescue Mother. That's what matters right now."

"I know."

Paul nodded. He walked up and patted my left shoulder.

He opened his mouth, searching for the words.

"I..."

"You don't have to say much. This wasn't Father's decision alone."

"I'm sorry... You make me proud."

He turned and walked toward Zenith.

After we got Zenith out, we collected the hydra materials and retrieved the Arrogant Water Dragon King.

"Let's go."

...

We rested at the inn for a few days. Then Zenith woke up.

She was vacant.

What is this?

A vegetative state?

Everything she did matched what I knew from my previous life. Maybe awareness was still in there somewhere, but she couldn't control her own body.

Was that it?

"It's me. It's Paul."

Paul hugged her, his voice breaking. No reaction.

Everyone seemed to have half-expected it. No one said anything.

Paul held on. Held on to someone who wouldn't hold back.

Something patted my back. I turned. Elinalise.

"Rudeus. You're a rational person, so I'm only saying this to you."

"Mm."

"Zenith being like this... there's probably no saving her. I've lived several hundred years. I've seen many cases like this."

"Mm."

"I'm telling you because I want you to help Paul accept it. He should already know it somewhere inside."

"Mm."

After we sorted out the return journey and everything else that needed deciding, I went back to my room and dropped onto the bed.

Make Paul accept it?

Make him accept it... How could he ever accept this?

I can't accept it myself. The Zenith I knew was lively, warm, full of life. And now she's become this.

Someone who only says "mm." Someone who only nods.

Someone without thought. Without language.

A shell.

No cases of successful treatment?

I know nothing about healing magic. Even now, I've barely reached Advanced rank.

Could someone like me actually research healing magic and bring Zenith back?

And does she even still have her memories? Even if I saved her, would she still remember us?

No.

Move.

Don't think about what comes after. Move first.

That's what I've always done.

Find cases first. Gather every treatment method anyone has tried and rule them out one by one. Then find similar patients, talk to their families, ask whether anything changed after years of this.

And then... and then...

Then what?

What am I supposed to do?

"Knock knock."

The sound cut through the noise in my head.

"Come in."

Roxy and Sylphiette.

They were carrying food. Their faces couldn't hide the worry no matter how hard they tried.

But seeing them, the weight on my chest eased. I didn't know why.

"Rudy hasn't eaten today, right?"

"Mm."

"Eat something?"

"Mm..."

At Roxy's firm insistence, I was fed.

She probably doesn't enjoy this any more than I do. She's likely just being driven by guilt.

Sylphiette talked to me about the words Zenith had responded to.

Dinner ended. They didn't leave. They sat beside me as if there was something they needed to say.

Silence stretched between us.

Then Roxy took a deep breath.

"Rudy."

"Mm?"

"This might sound hypocritical. Disgusting, even. But... I want to be your right hand. Please let me stay by your side."

She was looking at the floor. I didn't know what to do with that.

Was I supposed to say something?

Before I could work it out, she spoke again.

"Rudy, I like you."

Just like that. Out of nowhere.

"Actually, from the very first time Rudy saved me, I already liked you. This is what they call... love at first sight, right?"

"Is that so..."

"Mm... I've been saved by Rudy again, and this time I even let you get hurt this badly. I know confessing now makes it look like guilt talking... but I just wanted to say it."

"Mm..."

Does Roxy truly like me? Or is she just being driven by guilt?

Even if she does like me, I'm not sure I have the capacity to respond right now...

Wait. Is that really what I think?

I'd noticed her feelings over these past few weeks. I'm not that dense.

Even with everything still left to do... I should try to respond. To Roxy. To Sylphie.

Zenith has been found. I don't want to keep ignoring my own feelings.

I opened my mouth, about to say something.

Sylphiette got there first.

"Let's support Rudy together, shall we?"

She took Roxy's hand.

Support.

Roxy's face went red. She nodded. Then she looked at me.

There it was.

Before, it had only been a vague sense. Now I was certain.

So what needs to happen next is pretty obvious, isn't it?

Even if Eris beats me senseless afterward, I won't regret this.

Time to act.

I took a breath and let the decision settle.

Stop overthinking.

I like Roxy. I like Sylphiette and Eris.

And they like me.

Act. Prove it in the only way I can right now.

"Mm?!"

"Rudy?"

I pulled Roxy into a hug. I wanted to pull Sylphiette in too, but one arm isn't long enough for both. So I held Roxy and pressed my forehead to Sylphiette's instead.

Words would fall short right now. I know that.

There are troubles ahead. But these troubles are mine, and I'm not running from them.

Even if I can't say it perfectly, as long as they feel it, that's enough.

I took a breath.

"I will try to treat Zenith. Until then — can you wait for me?"

"Ehhh?!"

That was Roxy.

Sylphiette was crying.

Our foreheads were still touching. I could see every tear.

"Rudy... I've been waiting so long to hear that..."

"I'm sorry."

"Um, um, th-this, what is this?"

Roxy was flustered, squirming in my arms.

"It's a proposal. Didn't Teacher Roxy just confess to me? Don't tell me the 'like' Teacher was talking about is something different from what I had in mind."

"I — like!? I like you so much, Rudy! No — I love you!"

She closed her eyes and held on.

"We'll wait for you, Rudy. Miss Roxy and I have long lifespans, after all."

"Yes... We'll always be here for you..."

"Thank you. My fiancées."

➤ Next: The Return Journey