Marvel: Raising — Chapter 142 - The Akatsuki Captured

Uchiha Itachi. The Goddess of the Dark of the Uchiha clan. An intelligence-type character with Hokage-level intellect.

This kid had been sharp since birth.

His strength and intelligence were things even Uchiha Obito found troublesome.

Specifics:

Slaughter the entire clan at the slightest disagreement.

Terrorize the Second Young Master day after day, drive Sasuke into becoming an avenger, a killing machine, then prep Kotoamatsukami in advance, ready to hit format and one-click rewrite the whole thing.

And now.

Uchiha Itachi had once again stunned the room.

"Exactly!"

"Times have changed. Tactics need to change with them."

"Send Hidan to run a blood donation station, or sneak into the medical department to steal blood. Wouldn't that make him basically invincible?"

Sasori of the Hundred Puppets laughed quietly inside his puppet.

Pain: "..."

The Rice-Carrier went silent too.

He struck a pose like some divine being and gave a slow nod. "You really do hate Konoha, don't you. Taking on seven at once."

Though, come to think of it.

The ninja villages were all gone now. Could any of them even still be called rogue ninja?

Hard to say, honestly.

But regardless, under Uchiha Itachi's proposal and guidance.

The Akatsuki ran a coordinated operation.

First: gather intel on Flying Thunder God Naruto and Tech Sasuke. Then: sow discord between villages. Then: fan out in disguise, each taking a different identity, and converge at a single blood donation station.

The plan was wildly imaginative, airtight, completely undetectable, and perfectly adapted to the new era.

Every member seated in the Akatsuki was a seasoned ninja. Old hands. Veterans of the underworld.

Scheming against two wet-behind-the-ears kids like Naruto and Sasuke.

Easy, right?

And then.

The entire Akatsuki, excluding the already-dead Madara, but including Nagato pulling Pain's strings from behind the curtain, plus Tobi and Obito, were all scooped up by Guan Fuyun, who had simply been passing through to catch the girl group: Hinata, the young Mei Terumi, and the absolutely smokin' Tsunade.

He'd been having a good time when he spotted a gang of weirdly dressed posers swaggering down the street.

Different vibe from everyone else around.

One tried to stab him for blood. One hit him with Tsukuyomi. One demanded his heart. One wanted to turn him into a White Zetsu.

So he grabbed them. Casually. On his way through.

The moment word got out, the entire ninja world was riveted.

With the Company's arrival, television, cell phones, and the internet had spread fast.

Well. More accurately, these things had always existed here. There were just more of them now.

The ninja world's level of technological development had always been a little hard to explain.

"Hello, everyone in the former ninja world."

"I'm Ashley, CEO of the Company."

"Welcome to our news flash. Over the past 2 days, the complete capture of the notorious criminal organization known as the Akatsuki has become the hottest topic across the ninja world."

"Naruto, who never minces words, had this to say: the Akatsuki got caught like this? Sounds like they've stopped caring about their own lives."

The screen cut to the interview.

On one side, a reporter. On the other, the Akatsuki, shackled and chained, held inside the Abnormal Human Research Center.

Every face had been pixelated.

"This is the dangerous criminal, Uchiha So-and-So, who suffers from a hereditary neurological disorder with a strong family history."

"According to reports, brainwashed by the old ninja village and the Hokage, Uchiha So-and-So acted on impulse and colluded with a mysterious masked man to slaughter his entire clan."

"The brutality of his methods and the severity of his crimes are truly beyond description — a textbook major case, a special felony case!"

"Recently, the father of our Company's Ancestral Chairman, Mr. Guan, was vacationing in Naru-Sasu Village."

"While enjoying the girl group's singing, dancing, and rap."

"He stepped in as a concerned passerby and helped apprehend the scheming Uchiha So-and-So."

"Reportedly, Uchiha So-and-So's younger brother, Uchiha Sasuke, has formally demanded the plug be pulled, a swift trial conducted, and the criminal executed by firing squad."

"Uchiha So-and-So's pair of Mangekyo Sharingan has also had an organ donation form signed over by Sasuke."

"Regarding this troubling trend of hot-swapping eyeballs."

"Our reporter offers a friendly reminder: contains AI. Do not attempt. Please revert to manual operation."

The reporter briefly summarized the criminal's record.

Then the microphone was handed to Uchiha Itachi.

"..."

Itachi's silence was deafening.

A long pause.

His nasolabial folds twisted with fury, expression cracking into something unhinged, and he burst out, "I am a ninja of Konoha. An undercover agent! I wiped out my entire family to infiltrate the Akatsuki! I'm a victim here!"

He desperately wanted to argue. But the problem was that everything the reporter had said was objective fact, just repackaged into a news-friendly script.

There wasn't much he could actually dispute.

"Criminals almost always believe themselves innocent. This is a perfectly normal phenomenon of stubborn denial. Many violent offenders are born with structurally deficient brains; abnormal hormonal secretion leads to emotional distortion."

"The Uchiha clan is especially prone to this."

The reporter delivered that last line as a voiceover to the audience.

Then.

Itachi got beaten up by the rest of the Akatsuki.

"This is internal conflict within the criminal organization."

The reporter continued in voiceover.

A flood of paid comments streamed across the screen. Sasuke was tipping like crazy.

The microphone moved to Nagato. "As the nominal head of the Akatsuki," the reporter asked, "is there anything you'd like to say?"

"A bag of rice carried to which floor, a bag of rice carried to the second floor, a bag of rice that was too much, a bag of rice I'll wash myself, a bag of rice I washed all that mud off, and that pile of black roof tiles, tile rubble! Every grain caked in mud, who gave you that bag of rice, alright, add water!"

Nagato said this coldly.

He was controlling Pain, Rinnegan eyes blown wide, trying to charge up a full Almighty Push.

It didn't work, of course.

The Abnormal Human Research Center had no shortage of methods to suppress superhuman abilities.

"This criminal ringleader seems fixated on rice," the reporter said, expression lighting up with sudden understanding. "He clearly suffered severe hunger as a child. Just look at him now — skin and bones."

Nagato: "..."

The reporter moved on to Konan, a pure paper-person whose mind had long since been washed clean through.

Then Hidan. A zealot through and through.

Then Kakuzu, who loved money more than breathing.

That one was a special case. Kakuzu had lived so long that most of his enemies were already dead; the grudges had dried up. Not much left to prosecute.

Ashley thought it over and decided to recruit Kakuzu as the Company's CFO.

Sasori of the Hundred Puppets, a puppet-modified human, a kind of mad scientist. Marvel had plenty of those. Nothing unusual.

Zetsu. The aloe vera man.

Could be processed into aloe vera gel.

Itachi's former partner: Orochimaru.

A snake-skinned monstrosity with deeply abnormal development patterns. Keep him locked up. If the Company ever opened a zoo, he might come in useful.

That left 2.

Tobi and Obito.

"Mr. Obito," the reporter began, "what was going through your mind when you decided to take revenge on Konoha and kill Minato and Kushina?"

"I overturned the entire world," Obito said coldly, "just to right Rin's reflection."

"And after killing Minato and Kushina — how did it feel? Were you happy?"

"Longing. Wishes. They're all empty." Obito's voice was flat, almost proud. "Trip over something that illusory, and you can accomplish nothing."

"Then what did you accomplish?"

"..."

Obito had nothing to say.

He had meant to say that this world, soaked through with despair, had no reason to exist.

But.

Naruto had changed all of that.

In the simplest possible way. Just made sure everyone had enough to eat.

And honestly.

With the power of ninja and ninjutsu, was that so impossible?

Of course it wasn't.

Obito just never had the mind for it.

So he stayed silent.

...

Not long after.

Itachi, Nagato, and Obito were lined up and shot.

3 people. 5 eyes. All sealed into jars and added to Guan Fuyun's collection.

The remaining Akatsuki members received their various sentences.

Even by the Company's programming standards, this was the most legally rigorous episode they had ever aired.

Then.

With the ninja world now firmly within reach, Guan Fuyun made one more trip, up to the moon, and dug out Kaguya.

This sweet, oblivious Otsutsuki had been sealed by the Sage of Six Paths for years.

Fresh out of her prison, she still had a little waking-up temper. Teeth bared, eyes sharp.

A couple of slaps from Guan Fuyun and she settled right down.

Docile as a bunny.

The moment she got her hands on a phone and started scrolling short videos, Kaguya was more hooked than anyone in the room.

Then again, this was a woman who had once been distracted by the Reverse Harem Jutsu. It tracked.

But then.

He found out Kaguya had been secretly filming him. And that his photo was her wallpaper.

Guan Fuyun stared at the screen for a moment.

Even he had to admit, he'd been thoroughly played.

➤ Next: The Homelander and The Boys Universe