Jedi Insurgency 319

Bypassing an exaggeratedly large defense fleet, and so many defense platforms that rivaled Kuat in density, they had arrived at their destination. Using a code obtained from Xizor-that the 10th richest man in the galaxy-gaining access to this notorious pleasure planet was as easy as blinking for Corvus. 

Landing their shuttle in a heavily fortified, glorified parking garage, and paying a fee, the duo of Jedi & space pirate entered through customs. All sorts of explicit sex ads, and beautification products were constantly on display. Whilst places like Coruscant or Nar Shaddaa had ads teasing at the imagination, the messages on Zeltros were extremely explicit, and were beaming non-stop NSFW content on the airwaves. In short, it was a gooner's paradise. 

Walking alongside a group of foreign tourists, he finally spotted his first Zeltron. The sexy pinkish skinned alien was reclining on a couch, and beckoning passers-by into a booming clubhouse. Inviting visitors to lose an entire week at the Festival of Returning Stars.

Hondo Ohnaka spread his arms wide, then turned back to Corvus with a wide grin. 

“Ahh, now this is civilization. Welcome, my friend, to Zeltros.” 

Corvus felt the corner of his mouth twitch in amusement, as Hondo's inflection was the same as ‘welcome to Jurassic Park.’ Hopefully this trip wouldn't be as doomed as that failed venture. 

Ignoring the sultry Zeltron, and pulling Hondo along with a sharp tug in the Force, they easily bypassed customs with their fake identities. Wearing a different mask, and changing his robes out for something more casual, Corvus fit right in. 

Whilst he was incognito, the wedding preparations on Umbara continued to attract attention. Invitations, rumors, and gossip were beginning to spread, such that even walking out of customs, he had heard a snippet of conversation regarding the event. If even random tourists were discussing this ‘wedding of the century’ then Corvus knew he had gambled correctly. 

Walking out onto the streets, they were met with terraces of rose-colored stone buildings, large canals, and a never ending stream of glitz, flora, and glamor. Pleasure barges drifted beneath bridges crowded with flower sellers, while fountains threw glittering ribbons of water through suspended holograms. A procession of dancers swept across the promenade, their luminous sleeves leaving streaks of blue and gold in the air. Many people followed these dancers, and if any of the performers took a fancy to them, then they were dragged off into a random room to make love. 

The pheromones on this planet were going crazy, and Corvus had to use the Force to keep himself from being overly affected. Any novice, even a Jedi Knight, might not be able to control themselves. Lust was in the air, and pleasure on the minds of nearly every passerby. The climate was perfect, and the native populace were all 8/10's at the minimum. If he weren't fighting for the galaxy, or was without responsibilities, Corvus could very easily see how one could lose themselves on such a world. 

Here the Force was really something special. Typically on planets with large amounts of life, there was a large deal of negative, and neutral emotions with a handful of pockets of positivity. On Zeltros, 90% of people had an incredibly positive vibe. Without needing to engage in any carnal pleasures of his own, Corvus-simply by standing there-could passively absorb these good vibes if he so wished. If a Darkside Nexus engendered despair, and other awful thoughts, and typical Lightside Nexus’ made one feel hope. Then Zeltros could almost be considered a Nexus on its own tier, because he could only describe the aura in the Force as blissful. 

Although he preferred the quiet solemnity, and natural peacefulness of Tython, he had to admit, Zeltros-from a purely mystical sense-was quite extraordinary. 

“Ah, ah, ah, now is not the time to lose your senses, Master Jedi.” Hondo said with a knowing tone. “There is time to find any random chit later. Don't you have a mission to fulfill?” The pirate teased. 

“What are they celebrating?” Corvus asked, pointing at the dancers to change the subject. 

Hondo considered the procession, then shrugged. 

“Possibly the festival. Maybe somebody’s birthday? I once attended a magnificent celebration here because a woman’s husband had returned from a business trip. The funny thing is, he had only been gone since breakfast!” Hondo laughed like it was the funniest joke in the galaxy. 

“Truly a most remarkable civilization. Well, it is as you say, we are here on business, not pleasure. Please, lead the way.” Corvus rolled his eyes, then gestured for the alien to take the lead. 

Hondo fearlessly strode forward into the crowd without another word, yet the glint in his eye couldn't be hidden as he looked all over the place. Along the way, they passed by open kitchens where chefs tossed fragrant morsels between hovering pans, galleries in which paintings moved to accompany live musicians, and a bathhouse whose warm pools climbed a hillside beneath flowering trees. On an elevated dance floor, gravity changed with the music, making people slowly rise into the air, and change partners every time the scene changed. Holograms frequently altered the setting alongside powerful scent machines, making one believe they were in an underwater forest one second, and then walking through an ancient tomb the next. Color, life, love, and noise mixed together into one vibrant melody. 

Hondo seemed to know proprietors everywhere, and frequently called people out by name. Some embraced him. Others pointed at him and immediately consulted their account ledgers. He greeted both groups with equal affection, trading kisses like a currency, and handing out creds-Xizor's creds-like candy to kids on Halloween. 

“The finest moonfruit pastries in the sector.” He declared, purchasing two from a street vendor. “A gift, my friend.”

Corvus accepted one, and enjoyed the pastry. 

“Your generosity continues to inspire me.” Corvus sarcastically remarked. 

“Never say Hondo is not generous to his friends!” The pirate said, striking a heroic pose. “Now smile, my friend, smile. We are on Zeltros, live a little!” 

Feeling the Weequay gave him a side hug, and gentle push towards another stall, Corvus snorted. A woman selling festival sashes approached, paused, and studied Corvus’s masked face with a small frown.

“Long journey?” She asked.

“Something like that, my friend here needs something colorful.” Hondo declared. 

She selected a deep blue sash rather than the flashing silver one she had first reached for. “May I?”

After a moment, Corvus inclined his head. She draped it over his shoulders and gave his arm a brief, reassuring squeeze. “There. You can still look mysterious, but now there's a little style.”

Hondo paid her before Corvus could object. This time, to Corvus’s surprise, the credits came from the pirate’s own pocket.

Their route brought them to a broad square where uniformed Zeltrons performed a ceremonial drill. Their scarlet armor looked like it was for show at first glance, but despite the gaudy appearance, Corvus sensed that it was made of a familiar alloy: tritanium. That was the first armor type he had gifted to the Starcrusher Corp before he got his hands on Beskar. Needless to say, whilst it wasn't top tier, it could still tank several blaster bolts, showing that this ‘ceremonial guard’ was more than met the eye. Whilst they drilled, their ‘performance’ had them fighting a fierce battle against holograms, putting on a show for spectators. But in reality, these holograms were executing tactics no different from that of clone troopers!

Corvus slowed in his step, and truly looked around himself. To look past the glitz and glamor. 

Beyond the square, decorative towers doubled in function as installations for shield projectors. The access roads were wide enough for armored vehicles, and the public transit entrances that could be used by anyone as a quick place to bust a nut doubled as routes into bunkers. In fact, there were thousands of automatic gunports hidden in this alleyway alone! 

“You see?” Hondo murmured. “Everyone notices the dancers. Then some ambitious fool arrives with a fleet and discovers how seriously these people take an interruption in their revelry. Unlike the Twi'lek's, who will sell one another into slavery for profit, these Zeltrons are quite aware of the price of their beauty.” 

Corvus watched the soldiers clear their weapons before admitting a delighted group of children onto the parade ground. They then began to have young Zeltrons learn how to wield guns, grenades, and other hardware. 

Zeltros possessed substantial military strength, wealthy commercial networks, and a cultural reach that extended far beyond its borders. Its fashion products appeared on worlds that could scarcely afford imported cloth. With bands & music that crossed generations. An alliance with them would bring warships and safe harbors, certainly, but also sympathetic voices to the Republic cause. It was one thing to theoretically know about this due to his foreknowledge as a SW nerd, but seeing it with his own eyes was something special. 

By evening, the pirate had delivered him to an amphitheater overlooking the canal. Thousands crowded its terraces, and floating lanterns drifted above the water, giving off a peaceful vibe. 

“Our appointment.” Hondo announced, gesturing towards a stage. 

A young Zeltron male stepped under the spotlight, much to the cheers of many women, and quite a few men. He looked to be in his mid twenties, with crimson-pink skin, violet hair, and a white jacket embroidered with tiny reflective stars.

“Jay O-Be!” Someone shouted like a super fan. 

The answering roar from the crowd rolled across the canal. Jay laughed into the microphone, waited for the noise to settle, and began to sing.

Hondo joined in alongside the others, although he was a poor singer. 

Corvus privately wondered what it would be like if he joined in with his piano, and had Bass Windu accompany him. Once peace returned to the galaxy, perhaps that could be something worth pursuing. Especially if it meant bringing entertainment to his brothers who fought in the war. 

After the performance, Hondo used his connections to get a backstage pass. Meeting the young performer in his dressing room, the Zeltron was happily humming a tune, recording a message to his followers on the HoloNet. When he was finished, he turned around to embrace the pirate. 

“Hondo. You actually came.” Jay said with a gentle smile, his voice light, like Michael Jackson, or a K-Pop star. 

“Have I ever disappointed you?” Hondo asked with a wide grin. 

“Do you want the short answer?” Jay asked playfully. 

“In front of a guest? Such cruelty.” Hondo theatrically gasped. 

Jay turned toward Corvus. His smile faded, and the ‘plucky youth’ became all business, radiating releasing pheromones that all but said ‘I am in control.’

However, this time, Corvus was once more wearing his traditional garb. Upon seeing the mask and robes, Jay adopted a sunny, ‘innocent’ smile, but Corvus was not fooled. 

“Master Revan” Jay said, tilting his head to the side. “I was told you were planning a wedding.” 

“You're well informed.” Corvus replied, crossing his arms. 

Hondo ushered them toward a side table, seeing that things were getting off to a rough start. “And yet here we all are. A wonderful singer, a great Jedi, and the humble businessman who has brought them together.”

Corvus remained standing.

“You promised a meeting with someone who might influence the succession.”

“Exactly!” Hondo rested a hand on Jay’s shoulder. “The next duly elected monarch of Zeltros.”

Corvus looked at the pirate, then at the young singer who couldn't be older than 19. 

Outside, the crowd began chanting for an encore.

Jay gently removed Hondo’s hand, and ignoring Corvus, looked like he was going to go back out on stage. 

“You have considerable popularity.” Corvus acknowledged. “However, I have studied the field, and your chances of winning alone are slim to none. I possess considerable skills when it comes to influencing the masses. What else would you bring to the throne?”

What else would you bring to our alliance that's worth my while. Went unsaid. 

The question stripped the last trace of ‘friendliness’ from the room. Jay pulled out a chair, and sat himself down, then began to adjust his makeup in a mirror. 

“Please. This answer takes longer than a chorus, so make yourself at home.” Jay said somewhat sarcastically, but gestured towards another seat all the same. 

Corvus reluctantly took his seat, waiting to hear this high-maintenance youth out. Whilst he desperately wanted Zeltros as an ally, that didn't mean he was willing to act like an abused manager to some famous brat. 

The singer then described relief concerts whose proceeds supported displaced families, negotiations with hotel associations to provide temporary housing, and resolving conflicts by hosting private meetups with rival factions that also happened to be fans of his. 

When Corvus asked about planetary defense, Jay admitted the limits of his knowledge and named the officers advising him.

Hondo reached for a sandwich, apparently satisfied that statesmanship was proceeding without him.

“The Empire will eventually demand more than diplomatic courtesies.” Corvus said. “Access to your ports. Control over your broadcasts. Names of visitors. You understand what an alliance with us could cost?”

“A promoter on one of my last tour stops gave me a list of songs I couldn’t perform.” Jay’s fingers tightened around his glass. “By the time we finished arguing, half the concert was gone.”

Corvus studied him more closely. “And your answer to resolve this issue was to become king?”

Jay gave a rueful smile, and shrugged his shoulders. “Who else can do the job, but me?” 

The words struck a chord with Corvus, as he had once said something very similar in the past. 

“I’ll arrange a private meeting with Senator Amidala. She can examine your proposals with you. If we support your candidacy, I’ll need to understand the commitments you’re making to your people.” Corvus slowly stated. 

“Excellent. To the future King of Zeltros!” Hondo saluted with his drink. 

“...to the future King of Zeltros.” Corvus added on. 

Coalition governments sucked sometimes…but that was the price of democracy. 

Sighing to himself, Corvus closed his eyes, and let the good vibes wash over him. With Padmé's help, this campaign would be as good as won. Meanwhile, perhaps he should make those love affair rumors be between her and Jay? That way, he could divert the attention away from himself, and prevent falling out with the Senator, whilst also lowkey sticking it to this fake celebrity. 

‘Heh. Corvus, you are one evil SOB.’