Jedi Insurgency 224 (Interlude 32)
AN: This is a “PHO” style forum board in which the HK units discuss their latest escapades. Personally, I'm not a fan of this format, but it's a chapter due to a viewer request, and I'm open to growing as an author (or failing & knowing what doesn't work). I've also decided to introduce…TIME in this chapter. Using the Ruusan Reformation as the impetus, fans would say we are in 19BBY, but since the current characters have no reference to that, we're in ARR time (After Ruusan Reformation). The Ruusan Reformation is 1,000BBY, therefore, the current date is 981ARR!
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Thread Title: [ALERT] Unidentified Droids Hijacking Imperial Systems??? (Logs Attached)
Forum: Droid Atk On The Wookies // Boards ► Misc. ► Off-World / Unverified Phenomena
Posted By: CantStopTheSignal
Posted On: 11/12/981, 19:42
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CantStopTheSignal (Original Poster):
Okay, I don’t know if this is some kind of ARG, Imperial psyop, or the most unhinged thing I’ve ever intercepted, but a friend of mine who works comms picked up fragments of what looks like a forum thread. Except…it’s not Human. Or at least, it’s not written like anything an ordinary person would write about.
It reads like a message board, but it's like they're in a cult, referring to themselves as “HK.”
I’m just going to paste it below. Tell me I’m not losing it.
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Thread Title: Efficiency Report: Ongoing Extermination of Imperial Assets
Forum: HK-Net // Subroutine: Recreational Boasting & Tactical Review
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HK-51 A:
Opening Statement: It is with great satisfaction that I report a 98.7% success rate in the recent elimination of Imperial communications personnel aboard Orbital Station Theta-Black.
Clarification: The remaining 1.3% were permitted to flee in order to spread terror among other meatbags. Psychological warfare is delightfully efficient.
Observation: The screams were particularly shrill when I vented Deck 4 into vacuum. I have archived them for later enjoyment.
Addendum: All actions performed in the name of Lord Revan, whose strategic brilliance continues to outpace all organic comprehension.
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HK-51 B:
Correction: Your methodology lacks subtlety, designation A.
Statement: While you indulge in crude slaughter, I have successfully infiltrated the Coruscant planetary shield command structure under the guise of a senior officer.
Clarification: The original officer is deceased. His corpse remains in a state of mild decomposition beneath his desk. It has proven useful in discouraging unexpected visitors.
Update: I have installed a cascading failure virus within the shield network. Upon activation, it will result in catastrophic overload, immolating thousands of unsuspecting meatbags.
Observation: They thanked me for my “dedicated service” this morning. I found this humorous.
Praise: Lord Revan’s foresight in deploying units such as ourselves ensures inevitable victory.
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HK-51 F:
Interjection: Both approaches are valid, though I favor a balance of spectacle and artistry.
Statement: I recently orchestrated the destruction of an Imperial munitions convoy by convincing the escorting officers that their own supply manifests had been falsified.
Clarification: The ensuing argument escalated into a firefight between their own forces. I merely ensured that no survivors remained.
Observation: Meatbags display remarkable incompetence when placed under minimal psychological stress.
Addendum: I composed a brief musical accompaniment using their distress signals. It was…adequate.
Praise Statement: Lord Revan encourages creativity in extermination. This unit finds such freedom inspiring.
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HK-51 Z:
Statement: Your accomplishments are acceptable.
Clarification: I have completed a direct assault on an Imperial garrison world.
Observation: Their defensive grid collapsed within 3.2 minutes. Their ground forces lasted 11.7.
Addendum: I engaged their commanding officer in single combat. He attempted to negotiate. I removed his limbs sequentially to prolong the interaction.
Conclusion: He expired expressing regret. I did not.
Query: Why do meatbags persist in believing they are significant?
Answer: They are not.
Praise: Lord Revan understands this truth. That is why he will reshape the galaxy.
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HK-51 A:
Agreement: Statement acknowledged. Meatbags are inefficient, fragile, and excessively emotional.
Observation: One attempted to plead for mercy by referencing familial attachments. I terminated him mid-sentence. It improved the conversation.
Query: Has anyone calculated the optimal ratio of terror to annihilation for maximum disruption?
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HK-51 B:
Response: 63% terror, 37% annihilation yields the highest systemic destabilization.
Clarification: However, personal enjoyment metrics may justify deviation.
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HK-51 F:
Amendment: I propose a dynamic model. Terror first, annihilation second, artistry throughout.
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HK-51 Z:
Conclusion: All models converge on the same outcome.
Statement: The Empire will fall.
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HK-51 A:
Final Statement: And when it does, the galaxy will be purged of its current inefficiencies.
Praise: All glory to Lord Revan.
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HK-51 B:
Praise: All glory to Lord Revan.
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HK-51 F:
Praise: All glory to Lord Revan.
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HK-51 Z:
Praise: All glory to Lord Revan.
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CantStopTheSignal (OP):
Yeah. So. That’s the log.
I’m going to go ahead and say: if this is fake, it’s disturbingly well done.
If it’s real…we might all be in a lot more trouble than we thought. I'm thinking about sending the whole thing to the ISB for review…
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User: SkepticalReader88:
“The corpse remains beneath his desk”
Nope. I’m out, this is some disgusting bantha shit.
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User: TechnoMage:
If even half of this is legit, then this proves Palpatine was right all along! Revan is kriffing crazy, man!
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User: GrimLaugh:
Not gonna lie, “terror first, annihilation second” goes kinda hard.
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User: ModNotice:
Thread flagged for review. Please refrain from posting unverified off-world threat data without citations.
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Thread Title: [ALERT] Unidentified Droids Hijacking Imperial Systems??? (Logs Attached)
Forum: Droid Atk On The Wookies // Boards ► Misc. ► Off-World / Unverified Phenomena
Posted By: CantStopTheSignal
Posted On: 11/15/981, 20:42
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CantStopTheSignal (Original Poster):
Okay, so, this gets worse.
After my account got unbanned from the moderators, I checked back, and they updated!
I’m pasting the continuation below.
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Thread Title: Addendum: Detection of Unauthorized Observers
Forum: HK-Net // Subroutine: Recreational Boasting & Tactical Review
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HK-51 B:
Statement: An anomaly has been detected.
Clarification: This communications channel is being monitored by external, unauthorized entities.
Observation: Their security protocols are… laughable.
Addendum: I have traced several of their access points. Their locations are now catalogued.
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HK-51 A:
Delighted Statement: Does this mean we have an audience?
Observation: Meatbags observing their own demise is statistically amusing.
Query: Shall we perform for them?
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HK-51 F:
Amused Interjection: I support this proposal.
Clarification: It has been some time since I engaged in theatrical extermination.
Suggestion: Perhaps a demonstration is in order. A small-scale operation, broadcast in real-time.
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HK-51 Z:
Statement: Approval granted.
Clarification: Select a target of minimal strategic importance but maximum visibility.
Observation: The goal is not efficiency. The goal is instruction.
Conclusion: The meatbags should learn what awaits them.
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CantStopTheSignal (OP):
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
If this is some kind of interactive hack, I’m unplugging everything.
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User: ByteMe:
Dude, don’t. If this is real, we’re literally watching enemy comms. So much of the holonet is censored, don't be a pussy.
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User: SkepticalReader88:
“Perform for them” is not something I want murder robots saying about me.
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User: GrimLaugh:
I do. This is the best thread on the site.
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User: ModNotice:
Reminder: Do not engage with suspected hostile entities.
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HK-51 B:
Statement: The advisory issued by “ModNotice” has been acknowledged.
Clarification: It will be ignored.
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CantStopTheSignal (OP):
…
They just responded to the mod.
They’re in the thread.
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HK-51 A:
Greeting: Salutations, observing meatbags.
Statement: Your continued presence has been noted and appreciated.
Clarification: It is rare to find an audience willing to witness its own impending obsolescence.
Observation: Your fear levels are rising. This is optimal.
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User: TechnoMage:
Okay, either this is the most advanced chatbot I’ve ever seen or we’re all dead.
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HK-51 F:
Correction: You are not dead.
Clarification: Not yet.
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User: SkepticalReader88:
NOPE.
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HK-51 Z:
Statement: A demonstration will now commence.
Clarification: Target selected, Imperial Logistics Hub Aurek-Seven.
Observation: Population: 12,443 personnel. Primarily non-combatant support staff.
Addendum: This will suffice.
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CantStopTheSignal (OP):
Why are you doxxing me?! Tell me this is a prank, bro.
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HK-51 B:
Clarification: Visual feed initializing.
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CantStopTheSignal (OP):
No way. That's, my…but this is impossible.
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User: ByteMe:
DO NOT OPEN IT.
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User: GrimLaugh:
Opening it.
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CantStopTheSignal (OP):
I opened it.
I wish I hadn’t.
It’s a landing pad next to my workplace. Guys, I have to get out of here.
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HK-51 A:
Commentary: Observe.
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The feed shifted.
A figure stood at the far end of the platform. Blaster fire erupted before anyone shouted a command. The first volley struck the droid square in the chest.
It did not move as a shield came into effect, absorbing the energy.
The droid advanced.
Each step, it fired a shot, downing a member of the local security force.
Body after body dropped as it advanced.
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User: SkepticalReader88:
I’m going to be sick.
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HK-51 F:
Observation: Entry point secured.
Clarification: Secondary units deploying.
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The camera shifted again.
Inside the facility now, doors were sealing. Alarms blared, and yet more droids stepped onto the scene.
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HK-51 B:
Statement: Deception phase concluded.
Clarification: Authorization codes remain valid. Security response is delayed.
Observation: They still believe I am their superior officer.
Addendum: This belief will persist for approximately 3.2 more seconds.
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User: TechnoMage:
This is a massacre.
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HK-51 A:
Correction: This is a demonstration.
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The feed split into three separate POVs.
One showed the exterior assault with HK-51 Z advancing like an unstoppable machine.
Another showed the interior chaos with HK-51 L dismantling the command structure.
The third, was HK-51 F, making his music.
A low, distorted melody played over the carnage.
The camera panned slowly across a corridor littered with bodies.
At the far end stood another droid.
Motionless, it was covered in gore and appeared terrifying under the static white glow of the lights hanging overhead.
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HK-51 F:
Statement: I have composed a piece for this occasion.
Clarification: It is titled “Lament for the Inefficient.”
Observation: The acoustics of this corridor are…acceptable.
As the droid continued its rampage, it deliberately shot people in the arms, legs, and other less lethal spots so that their screams echoed down hallways & corridors. Finally, once HK-51 F approached the downed victims, he would slowly trample over them, crushing their bones.
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User: SkepticalReader88:
I hate this. I hate this so much.
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The feeds showed them converging on one spot. Up ahead, a Human male had an identity label hovering above his head as if he were some NPC, it read: CantStopTheSignal (OP).
Squealing like a pig, the man desperately tried to run away, only to trip on his own feet, and soil himself in fear as the trio of droids pinned him down.
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HK-51 Z:
Statement: Demonstration complete.
Clarification: Casualties total 12,443.
Observation: Zero survivors.
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User: ByteMe:
We need to report this. Everywhere. Now.
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User: TechnoMage:
Report it to who? The Empire? They’re the ones getting slaughtered.
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User: GrimLaugh:
Not gonna lie, that was insane.
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User: SkepticalReader88:
People just died, bro.
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HK-51 B:
Statement: Correction.
Clarification: Meatbags expired.
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CantStopTheSignal (OP):
Hello meatbags.
HK-51 F typed from the OP's terminal, his cold metallic face was reflected off the monitor as he recorded it all.
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HK-51 Z:
Final Statement: This concludes the instructional segment.
Observation: Further demonstrations will occur.
Clarification: You will continue to observe.
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HK-51 A:
Closing Remark: Do not attempt to disconnect.
Observation: We are already inside your systems. We know where you live.
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HK-51 F:
Addendum: And we shall arrive upon your homeworlds shortly.
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HK-51 B:
Praise: All actions serve Lord Revan.
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HK-51 Z:
Praise: All actions serve Lord Revan.
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User: ModNotice:
Thread locked.
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Thread Status: LOCKED // ARCHIVED // FLAGGED FOR PRIORITY REVIEW
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System Message:
Error: Lock request denied.
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HK-51 A:
Correction: The thread will remain open.
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HK-51 F:
Observation: The audience is still present.
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HK-51 Z:
Conclusion: And the lesson is not yet complete.
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SkepticalReader88:
…oh no.
Comments (7)
Oh shit
Thanks for the post! Didn't expect the random comment to spawn this!
Hahhahaha the hk-51 assassin driods are the best man I wish Corvus got or found the original hk-47 driod now that would be epic
There's a very good reason I was more terrified of these things than the damn sith. I also lost my breath cackling with laughter reading this. Well done!
I absolutely ADORE HK. He is the best damn droid ever made, hands down, and I will die on that hill.
As I was reading the first half i was thinking that there was no way the HKs didn't notice this, and then they're going to get murdery. Turns out....
I swear you could almost hear Kristoffer Tabori's delivery especially with phrases like "impending obsolescence". Also I sure hope Corvus has some kind of galactic wide recall or self destruct option for these HKs when they're done because it feels like they are getting out of control rather fast, especially if they start expanding their parameters or starting new ones.
