Lightside Sith 007

After putting the diplomat in his place, Kaine and Jar Jar made their way to the kitchens. 

As it was only around 7pm, and there were many guests in the palace at the moment, there were dozens of chefs hard at work. Steam wafted through a pair of wide doors, and a lovely scent met Kaine's nares. His stomach grumbled, and he felt like he had entered an expensive restaurant, where each person's meal cost $100 at the minimum. 

At first, he was going to go to the side, where a group of people were already seated, and being served food. But then Jar Jar took the lead, pushing the large doors open like he owned the place. Kaine hesitated for a second, but chose to follow the Gungan. The amphibian was a walking LP farm, afterall. 

A few staff looked like they were going to say something like ‘you can't be back here,’ but upon seeing Jar Jar, it was obvious that he was a repeat offender, and the man who was about to reprimand them, instead he approached with his shoulders sagged in a resigned sort of way. 

“What will the honorable Representative Binks be eating tonight, the usual?” The chef said with a repressed edge to his voice. 

Taking a glance at this Tim Curry look-alike with that cheesy grin on his face, Kaine could only wonder what kind of emotional damage Jar Jar had dealt to this man. Truly, the reddish orange frogman was a natural disaster star. One could only imagine what trouble he could conjure up if he was a Force Sensitive. 

“Mnn, meesa have someting new. Something Kahn would like, Mista Raja.” Jar Jar placed a finger on his chin, then patted Kaine on the back. 

Eye twitching at the mispronunciation, Kaine was about to say something, when Jar Jar's tongue flicked out, and stole half of a fully completed meal from a pan. 

“Please, come this way.” Raja said in a heavy tone, gesturing for them to follow. “What would the most distinguished friend of Representative Binks be enjoying tonight?” 

Kaine sensed some serious repressed rage, and even if he somewhat felt bad for the guy, a smirk unconsciously spread across his face. 

“The Senator invited me to this little party when she didn’t have too. I'd like to return those feelings by cooking a meal for her.” Kaine said after pondering for a moment. 

“Sir, this is highly inappropriate. Although I am sure you are mn, trustworthy due to your august company. However, assassins & saboteurs are lurking about as of late, and it is policy not to-” Raja sarcastically began, transitioning into a tirade, only to shut up once Kaine flashed the token Padmé had gifted him. 

“I shall rely upon you to gather the needed materials.” Kaine said with an airy smile. 

Raja pursed his lips, then with a flourish turned around, and began barking orders at his men. 

“Watchu gonna make, hrm?” Jar Jar asked, leering over his shoulder to an uncomfortably close degree. 

Kaine felt a little uncomfortable at the lack of personal space, but for the sake of LP put up with it. “Oh, just an ancient Sith dish. It is sure to knock the Senator's socks off.” He then let loose with a deliberate evil chuckle, and rubbed his hands together like a 2-bit villain. 

Since he was in the kitchen, he might as well take this opportunity to troll the Chosen One. A very clearly suspicious character such as himself had no business preparing food, much less for the second most important person from Naboo. Anyway Anakin looked at it, this would be yet another plot to murder his beloved wife. And if it wasn't a plot at murder, the Chosen One's monkey brain would think it was an act of seduction! Either way, it was sure to press his buttons, netting Kaine some juicy LP! 

As the ingredients began to roll in, Kaine became hard at work. Building layer upon layer, he constructed the ultimate Sith dish. It was red, slightly acidic, and full of cholesterol. 

“Moi moi, what is this?” Jar Jar asked, tongue already ready to whip out. 

Kaine, mimicking Qui-Gon, gripped the tongue mid reach. Then stared the Gungan down until he retracted it. 

“This, my slippery friend, is the ancient Sith cultural dish known as lasagna~. Raja, deliver this to Senator Amidala's suite! Tell her it is a cultural delicacy amongst the people of Kaine Renstar.” 

“Right away.” Raja looked at him with a small look of respect, and then swiftly departed. 

After cutting away a portion for himself, and Jar Jar, they wolfed down their food with great gusto. As they were eating, a brief spike of rage washed through the Force, and for a second, Kaine felt his spine chill. 

+10LP floated above his vision, confirming that gaslighting the Chosen One was the Lightside Sith way. 

“Ahem, let us depart the kitchens.” Kaine suggested, as although that murderous aura wasn't coming at them, he felt like a change in venue wouldn't be bad for his health. 

“I know, let's go fishing!” Jar Jar clapped him on the back, and then dragged him along. 

Walking down the hallways, they ended up stepping onto a wooden wharf. The moon was pretty this night, and Kaine breathed in a gentle scent of foreign flowers. Closing his eyes he enjoyed the cool-yet not cold-air. Although he wasn't particularly adept at the Force, a subtle, refreshing vibe pulsed through his veins. A boyish grin on his face, he stepped towards a wooden boat that Jar Jar had already pushed into the water. 

Handing him a fishing rod, the Gungan began to row into the serene canal just outside the palace. For the next hour, Jar Jar kept telling him one outrageous story after the next. Even though the frogman's high pitched voice was somewhat grating, he had an infectious spirit, and Kaine couldn't bring himself to hate on the clumsy buffoon. That said, their boat almost tipped over half a dozen times, and it was only thanks to his [Precognition] that they didn't fall into the chilly water. 

Unfortunately, he also discovered that catch & release wouldn't net him any LP. Apparently ordinary fish weren't high enough on the food chain to trigger System LP. 

While they were fishing, Kaine, for the first time, felt relaxed since arriving in this dog eat dog world. 

“Oh, yousa got the big one!” Jar Jar suddenly exclaimed. 

Kaine stood up, and began to reel in his fishing rod like a madman. As a Pureblood Sith, his physicality was like a peak Human athlete, perhaps even a little bit stronger due to his biology. Even so, the damned fish didn't want to come out of the water, even somewhat dragging the boat down! 

‘To hell with this, I'm a space wizard!’

Lifting the fish up with a violent tug of [Telekenesis], a massive shadow was ripped up out of the dark depths down below. 

“It'sa big one!” Jar Jar exclaimed. 

Kaine miiight have put a little too much gas into that ability of his, and the fish-one about the size of a walrus-was flung up into the air, traveling a serious distance. 

Watching its arc as it fell down towards a balcony on the palace, he belatedly realized there were a pair of people enjoying the night air! Before he could think about accidentally committing murder via flying fish, a blue beam of plasma ignited in the dark, bisecting the slimy fish. 

“Renstaaaar!!!” Anakin's shout could be heard across the canal. 

“Uh oh.” Jar Jar said, then began to work his paddle like a madman. 

+10LP. 

One second, Kaine was feeling like a true Sith who had triumphed over a worthy foe. The next, he felt a small drop of sweat falling down his spine. He almost felt like Anakin was about to jump off the balcony, and swim at him in a rage…if the boy was smart enough to use his power, he'd just pull Kaine to him with the Force. But no one ever said Anakin was the most skilled Force user. After all, the guy didn't realize he could pull ships out of the sky until he was Darth Vader. Up until this point, his greatest feat was slaughtering that village full of sand people. 

Returning to the shoreline, Kaine parted ways with Jar Jar, and decided to pretend as if he hadn't been accumulating the Chosen One's ire. Heading back to his room for a good night's sleep in preparation for tomorrow's ‘peace summit’ he felt a sudden pulse in the Force calling to him. Turning his head, he saw that the door next to his room was open, and sitting within was Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

The man was in his mid 30's, had an epic beard, and his mullet was on full display. Sitting in front of him was a messy chessboard, and a cup of hot tea. Frowning at a dataslate, the Jedi Knight had a slightly pensive aura about him that made Kaine feeling antsy. 

“You’re not going to just stand there all day, are you? Come in.” Obi-Wan invited without looking up from his device, his Core-ward accent was thick, and he sounded very much like an arrogant Jedi. 

“Do you want me to convey a message to him?” Kaine asked over his shoulder, knowing that Qui-Gon was nearby. 

However, the ghost never manifested, apparently shy at the moment. Shrugging his shoulders, Kaine strode into the room, and with a flick of his hand, loudly scraped a chair across the floor so he could sit adjacent from the future titled: ‘Negotiator.’

“So.” Kaine slowly drawled. “This is the famous Sith Slayer, Obi-Wan Kenobi. First passing the Knight trials after defeating Maul, should I be worried about what you'd do to attain the rank of Master?” Kaine sarcastically remarked, and crossed his legs in front of himself, whilst leaning back to get comfortable. 

Obi-Wan didn't stop typing away at his dataslate for a moment, yet that didn't prevent him from sassing back. “Mn, yes, I imagine many Sith cannot get my name off their minds. Yours, however, isn't one I seem to recall.” 

“Oh? Are you so certain you didn't hear your Padawan screaming it at the top of his lungs fifteen minutes ago?” Kaine playfully returned, gently tapping his armrest with his index finger. 

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan began, then sighed. “He does have a strong opinion. I'll give you that.”

“A rash man, that Anakin.” Kaine darkly chuckled in agreement. “He'll be the death of you some day, you know.” 

“Of that, I have little doubt.” Obi-Wan agreed without thought, treating Kaine's words as a joke. 

Kaine shook his head in disappointment, saddened that his heartfelt warning didn't net any LP. It seemed only diffusing conflict in the moment was worthy of the System's grace. Obi-Wan must've mistaken his brief silence for something else, as he chose to continue onto a different topic. 

“Padmé told me she found you at my Master's tombstone. I hope you haven't come to gloat, because no offense, but you aren't half the man that Zabrak was.”

Kaine rolled his eyes. So it begins. With a mouth like that, Kenobi was wasting his talents as a Jedi. 

“His name was Maul, and I wouldn't be so sure you've seen the last of him. I think you're quite taken with half measures.” Kaine idly remarked in ‘disinterest’ as he slowly began to reassemble the chessboard one piece at a time. 

Obi-Wan halted his typing at that, and glanced up at him. His gaze was scrutinizing, and a subtle pulse spread throughout the room, as if the older man was trying to verify if Kaine's words were true. 

“You don't believe me?” Kaine ‘harmlessly’ grinned. 

“Hardly. You have the stench of Dooku about you.” Obi-Wan snorted. 

For a second. Kaine lost his composure, and snorted along with Obi-Wan, as he processed what the Jedi had just said. 

“Then how about we rectify this missing trust?” Kaine questioned in a delicate tone. 

“And just how do you propose that? No offense, but how could the Sith ever believe in the word of a Jedi who ‘genocided his people.” Obi-Wan said, raising an eyebrow. 

Kaine rolled his eyes. Clearly Padmé had shared the details of their meeting, but just how much had she told him? 

“True. You look like the type who would enter negotiations, only to stall for time whilst your soldiers ambush your enemies.” Kaine wholeheartedly agreed with him. 

During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan legitimately surrendered, only to act as bait whilst Rex or Anakin swooped in to counter capture the CIS commander. In terms of honorable conduct, Obi-Wan was found lacking. Don't even get him started on Anakin's false surrenders & shenanigans! 

“Hmm. Then we seem to be at an impasse.” Obi-Wan uncaringly remarked. Taking a long sip of his tea, he returned to his dataslate with a bored expression on his face. 

Kaine narrowed his eyes. ‘This bastard is playing hard to get!’ 

Understanding Obi-Wan's personality well, Kaine knew that the Jedi was actually negotiating at the moment! Like the Soresu master he was, Kenobi was playing perfect defense. And once Kaine revealed a flaw, the bearded asshole would swoop in for the kill! 

“Let us establish trust on a basic level first. Afterall, this could be a long war, and it would benefit both of us to have a contact in each camp. One that could be spoken to, like two reasonable, intelligent beings.” Kaine proposed, attempting to appeal to Obi-Wan's logic. 

“I'm listening.” 

“I propose an exchange. In return for a secret of the CIS, I require a saber training droid, and a holocron that teaches healing.” Kaine listed out the terms of the deal. 

“A what?” Obi-Wan somewhat lost his composure, almost spitting out his tea. 

Kaine refrained from cackling. The holocron would be nice, but when negotiating, go for a big ask, then hide what you really want in the fine print! A training droid could get him started in every lightsaber form. As shown with [Telekinesis] as long as it's added to his ability bar, the skill is automatically raised to his peak level! Meaning, he should theoretically be able to learn every single one of the lightsaber forms!!! 

This kind of ability was something that practically had Kaine foaming at the mouth. Droids that taught lightsaber combat were actually quite rare, and couldn't simply be purchased. Meanwhile, Dooku might train with him a little bit here & there, but learning under him would be arduous. Kaine would much rather use what few opportunities he had with Dooku to use the old man as a whetstone. Ventress & Grievous partially became the monsters they were due to his guidance. When next he sparred with the old man, Kaine wanted to show off his worth. Only by proving his strength, would he have more autonomy within the CIS. 

As Kaine schemed all this, and was deep in thought, Obi-Wan politely coughed, bringing him back to earth. 

“A holocron is out of the question, this is, after all, about establishing a basic level of trust.” Obi-Wan declined. 

“And the droid?” Kaine pressed. 

“That depends on the value of your information.” Obi-Wan neither confirmed nor denied. 

“On the planet of Pammamt, the CIS are constructing a super weapon. By itself, it can easily eliminate a battlegroup of 6 to 9 ships. It should be finished by next year.” Kaine said, revealing the location of the future CIS flagship, the Malevolence. 

“And you aren't worried that by revealing this information, you would be marked a traitor?” Obi-Wan furrowed his brow, trying to make sense of it all. “I don't understand, aren't you trying to win the war?” 

“A true Sith does not need super weapons to win the war. It is beneath me, and is a crutch I disdain to use. To defeat the Republic & the Jedi, the Force is enough. I do not require something so cowardly.” Kaine spoke in a straightforward, belittling manner. 

Obi-Wan was stunned by what was just said, almost dropping his mug. 

The amazement of the Jedi, and Kaine's words must've resonated with the System, because a solid +5LP wafted into the air. 

“So. Do we have ourselves an understanding?” Kaine asked, holding out his hand. 

“You profess to be in pursuit of the destruction of the Jedi to my face, and are asking for my understanding?” Obi-Wan sarcastically remarked, his blue eyes never leaving Kaine's gold, as if he were searching for some sick Sith plot. 

“Peace has to start somewhere, doesn't it? Trust between the Sith & Jedi aren't so easily achieved. Why not start now?” Kaine pressed. 

“Like the whispers of the devil.” Obi-Wan shook his head, then took Kaine's hand into his own. “Upon verification of this supposed super weapon, you'll have your training droid.” 

Looking at the somewhat disgruntled Jedi Knight shaking his hand, Kaine let out a light laugh. Another +1 LP floated up as besting a Jedi through wordplay was one of the pinnacle prerequisites for any decent Lightside Sith. 

“To peace.” Kaine openly laughed. 

“To peace…” Obi-Wan sarcastically mimicked him. 

Kaine took a deep breath. He could feel it. Tomorrow's summit was going to be a good day for farming LP!