Jedi Artisan 008

*All hands, prepare for hyperspace exit. Repeat, all hands, prepare for hyperspace exit.* An Ensign's voice repeated through the ship's loudspeakers. 

Zane, and Shaak Ti were on the bridge, watching the blue portal disappear, as they transitioned into real space. 

Supporting himself on a nearby handhold, Zane felt the Hammerhead slightly shudder, stall in place for a second, and then pick up speed as its sublight drives kicked in. Looking out from the viewport, he let out a low whistle. Mimban was just ahead, and it was ugly. A planet of nothing but swamps, and covered in thick clouds of fog, it was just as dank as Dagobah. 

“I hope whatever mission you have planned is worth it, Jedi.” Captain Monogan drily remarked, as she looked down at the planet, clearly unimpressed. 

“Let us worry about the negotiations, Captain.” Shaak Ti stuck her nose up, and replied. 

Zane rolled his eyes. Ever since Monogan had pointed out Shaak Ti's perverted hobby, the two ladies had been trading barbs the entire voyage. 

Honestly, women! 

Clucking his tongue, Zane could only softly hum in agreement with the overly tired officer. “You and me both, Captain. Mimban looks like giant muddy, watery hell hole.” 

“It's your funeral.” Monogan half raised a cup of caf in faux salute, before standing over a telemetry station to see what a bunch of beeping was about. 

Shaak Ti was going to say something, when she suddenly halted her speech, and Zane stared into her eyes in surprise. 

“Helmsmam! Take evasive maneuvers, turn hard port towards coordinates Z25, -A04! Full speed ahead!” Zane commanded, lacing his voice thick with the Force. 

The Hammerhead suddenly made an emergency bank to the left, and dove down sharply, like a submarine suddenly diving down to avoid depth charges. 

Everyone on the bridge suddenly jolted sideways, and several people came face first with the floor. Emergency klaxons blared, and lights flashed in every single hallway as the ship went into red alert. 

Zane caught the middle aged Captain-and her caf-clutching onto one of the many handrails that dotted the room in case of such an event. 

As the gravity actuators stabilized, and everyone could regain their footing, Monogan slapped his hands off of her, and turned towards him with a look on her face as if she were going to draw her service pistol. 

“Jedi Knight Zane!” She barked, all tiredness leaving her, as she erupted in fury. “You had best explain yourself, or so help me, you'll be spending the next twelve days back to Coruscant in the brig!” 

During her monologue, the four security personnel on the bridge stepped forward, blaster rifles pointing at the deck, yet ready at a moment's notice. 

Shaak Ti barely withheld a scowl, and was going to say something, when Zane held up a hand. In the brief silence, the beeping from the telemetry station was going absolutely insane, and this time, an automatic red alert was triggered by the systems. 

Seconds later, an extremely bright blue-green light similar to an aurora borealis passed overhead, making the ship shudder. As this was Star Wars, and noise traveled in space, this spatial phenomenon was loud! Making a sound like a thousand feet walking on snow all at once, the wave harmlessly passed overhead, before vanishing into the vast cosmos of space. 

“Would the Ensign manning the telemetry station please inform the class what has just transpired.” Zane gestured towards a pink pixie haired, purple-blue skinned Papanoida alien girl. 

With the entire bridge crew looking at her, the Ensign gulped, and took a deep breath, and then concisely reported her findings. 

“Captain Monogan, ma'am, the astrological activity was a strong energy storm. I did a quick search of the database before our trip, and such an occurrence is common, sir!” The Ensign said, saluting. 

“I believe someone owes me an apology~” Zane's grin was all teeth. 

“Stand down.” Monogan waved to the armed guards, then turned to regard Zane in a no nonsense manner. “If you endanger the lives of my crew-” 

“Beleive me, Captain, a court martial from the Senate is the least of our worries.” Zane flippantly waved her off. 

“I was going to say, I'd place a bolt between your eyes myself.” Monogan lazily sipped on her coffee, and then turned back towards the viewport. “Helmsman, readjust our course. Telemetry, make adjustments on our path as needed. Ops, I want you to work with engineering to assess for damage, take inventory for anything that might've fallen out of place, or crew who were injured during the emergency maneuver.” 

“Yes ma'am!” The bridge crew snapped crisp salutes, and got to work. 

Zane whistled again, except this time, he was impressed. “You know, I'm starting to think you didn't get this post strictly due to connections.” 

“Not just anyone can be trusted with baby sitting a Senator's child, or the cranky old folks who know how every subsystem works.” Monogan flatly replied, and tiredly stared out the viewport, lost in thought. 

Whilst she spoke in a detached monotone, Zane detected a quiet pride in her words. Although she seemed quite disillusioned with the whole system, he sensed that there was an incredible will buried underneath all that cynicism. If she were around during a time of war, or allowed to enforce the law as it was written-not as petty politicians interpreted it-then she would be a force to be reckoned with. Seeing Monogan reduced to what was essentially, a glorified baby sitter didn't sit right with him, and had him clenching his fists at the injustice of it all. 

Taking a deep breath, he felt Shaak Ti's arm on his shoulder, and he saw her looking at him in concern. 

‘Right, I'm just a tailor. Got to relax. I'm not powerful like the Chosen One, and even the wisest like Master Yoda can't fix the universe. Just finish the mission Zane, then you can go back to making fun little toys, and lie flat to your heart's content.’ 

“Incoming transmission.” The Comms officer suddenly announced. 

“From?” Monogan arched an eyebrow in question. 

“A Recusant-class Commerce Guild destroyer, the Light of Providence is hailing us! Shall I patch them through?” The Ensign asked. 

“Pull them up on the big screen.” Monogan demanded, and then glanced at Zane for his input. 

There, floating above Mimban, was one of the most iconic ships of the Clone Wars. Any nerd who had played the OG Battlefront 2 video game would recognize this as the ship from the space battles…well, it wasn't the exact model, but it was pretty damn close in appearance. 

“Well that was quick.” Zane muttered. 

“That's one of the Commerce Guild's debt collection ships. What is it doing here? The negotiations stated that the dispute was over mining rights.” Shaak Ti said with a frown. 

“Ignore them. We'll let them stew in place for a few minutes.” Zane ultimately said, displeased that his ‘big dick’ maneuver to bring a capital ship to negotiations was countered. 

Monogan pursed her lips, and looked like she really didn't agree with this move, but ordered her subordinates to hold in place for the time being. 

After several minutes had passed, the blinking light at Comms had ceased, and a new development had occurred. 

“Captain! The Light of Providence is launching a squadron of starfighters!” The Papanoida girl at Telemetry suddenly raised her voice in alarm. “Their vector is on an intercept course, they're flying right at us!” 

Zane closed his eyes, thinking there was no way that they would open fire…but that kind of thinking is what got the Consular-class light cruiser destroyed at the beginning of the Phantom Menace. However…flipping a credit in his hand, a small smirk spread across his face. 

“Hail the destroyer.” Zane calmly ordered. 

“Captain?” 

“Do it, Ensign.” Monogan swiftly affirmed. 

“...they aren't responding!” Comms hurriedly said. 

Everyone was sitting up now, any lackadaisical, or tired attitude had vanished at the oncoming threat. 

That is, except one man. 

“Fire a warning shot off the squadron's starboard.” Zane boredly intoned. 

Monogan stared him in the eye, took a deep breath, and turned to her crew. “Do it.” 

Tense seconds later, a bright red beam was launched from the Hammerhead's forward facing turbolasers. The ship groaned as outdated fuel cells were pulled upon one more time. Zane swore he felt a thrum of pleasure from the ancient warmachine, as it once more did what it was designed to do. 

“...they're still coming!” 

“Increase speed, raise shields.” Zane continued his calm demeanor, and flipped his credit again. “Oh, and shift the ship ‘upward’ toward coordinates F76, K23.” 

“I know that this ship has the specs for it, but you don't really intend to ram them, do you?!” Shaak Ti suddenly spoke up, aghast. 

“I agree with your friend. This is incredibly reckless.” Monogan narrowed her eyes, and held up a hand, holding her helmsman from complying with the order. 

“Trust me.” Zane peaceably smiled. 

Monogan grit her teeth, and saw that every eye was on her. The entire bridge crew were holding their breaths. Both young and old had become caught up in the excitement, and were awaiting their Captain's commands. 

“Whether we sit idle in place, or move forward, those starfighters are still coming right at us. What's wrong with a little mischief?” Zane whispered. 

Monogan lowered her arm, signaling for the helmsman to proceed. She then leaned in close to him, and glared. 

“I have 12 Senators’ children, and 36 mega corporation execs’ extended family stationed on this ship. Do not make me write you up.” She hissed. 

Zane confidently grinned, and was about to say something, when the Papanoida at telemetry held a hand up. Her station was blinking, and going absolutely wild. “Another astrological anamoly is inbound!” 

“Evasive act-” Monogan began, only for Zane to clap his hands. 

Using a small bit of the Force, he momentarily distracted everyone-with the exception of Shaak Ti-for ten seconds. For them, it was as if they had a blankspot, or had been lost staring out at nothing. The entire bridge crew blinked, and to them, it was as if only a second had passed! 

However, in reality, ten seconds really had come and gone! And in that time, another green-blue energy wave shot forth. Surging just below the Hammerhead, it had swept through the starfighters, rendering them inoperable! 

The entire bridge crew looked to Zane, mouths agape in surprise. Even Monogan was stunned silent. 

“Well, Captain, don't just sit there, engage the tractor beams, we have lives to save.” Zane clapped his hands once more, and snapped her out of her fugue. 

“Lieutenant Iblis, take charge of Security, I want you in the hangar to receive our guests. Ensign Radberry-refferring to the girl on telemetry-begin the recovery efforts immediately!” Monogan creased her uniform, and huffed. 

“Ma'am!” The officers saluted, and went to work. 

“As for you, Knight Zane, in my office, now.” 

“I believe that can wait, Captain. It appears the mission awaits.” Zane lazily gestured towards the blinking comms relay. 

The short-brown haired middle-aged woman stared daggers at him, before ultimately placing a hand on her forehead, and sighing in resignation. “Oh very well, get it over with already.” 

Zane beamed at her, then squeezed Shaak Ti's hand to lean in close for a whisper. 

“So~~~ do I win the bet? Turns out bringing the Hammerhead was the right call afterall.” 

“Those aren't pirates.” She folded her arms under her chest, and huffed. 

“No? But what is a intergalactic Commerce Guild, but a pirate with a fancy name?” Zane breathed into her ear. 

He was about to taunt her further, when suddenly, the call went through, and a holographic image spawned onto the scene. As they were relatively close, the reception was quite good, and came in full color, only a blue outline covered their figure. 

“Greetings, Jedi. I am the Commerce Guild's representative, Norka Hill.” The tall foreheaded female Munn said. 

Zane performed a Jedi salute-alongisde Shaak Ti-and widely grinned towards the flat faced alien. 

“Greetings esteemed member of the Hill clan, I am Zane, a humble tailor representing the Jedi Order, and this is my protector, Knight Ti, slayer of a hundred bounty hunter's.” Zane said with an even bigger shit eating grin, as he sensed both Shaak Ti's mortification, Monogan's sarcastic amusement, and Norka's bland disinterest. 

“Indeed.” She flatly replied. “Please allow me to express my greatest thanks for your recovery efforts of our starfighters, but we shall handle this matter.” 

“I'm afraid I'll have to decline that offer.” Zane beamed.

“And why is that?” Norka slowly responded, narrowing her eyes. 

“I suspect they were attempting to coerse a Republic Judicial vessel executing lawful orders. Under penal code 5.c.a.5…..” Zane listed a lengthy code. “I am placing them under arrest for questioning. Of course, if you boarded our vessel personally, and vouched for them, I'm sure we could make sense of things, and clear matters up.” 

Norka's nostrils flared, and she seemed to type something offscreen-probably to check if the judicial code he spouted off was legit-too bad for her, Zane learned under Master Oogway~ and the first lesson to abusing/bending the rules, was knowing the rules! 

Hahaha, fear me, puny banker, I have studied the Yavin Code, and can speak legalize! 

Zane, naturally, was in no hurry to hasten her investigation, and placed his hands within his robes, perfectly content to play the waiting game. 

After some time had passed, and the first ship was placed under tractor beam, Norka finally came to a decision. 

“Very well, but I demand that the negotiations be held on your vessel as well.” 

Zane sensed that there was something weird going on with the Muun, but he couldn't exactly identify what it was…besides, that was his goal all along, Force knows he didn't want to step foot on a Commerce Guild vessel, mucn less on that shitty swamp world down below. 

“Agreed.” Zane said, after little thought. 

“Then it's settled. Oh, and Knight Zane.” Norka practically purred in shaudenfreud. 

“Yes?” Zane questioned, feeling like he wasn't going to like where this was going. 

“Contact with the Mimbanese representatives has been cut off, and their ‘negotiator’ is a three person group from several different tribes. Good luck in fetching them.” Norka shallowly smiled, and then cut the feed. 

Fffffffuhhhh.