Jedi Artisan 002

AN: You can find ch1 under collections if you missed it. Also, Jedi Insurgency was already posted for today, and will be posted first before any other additional content going forward. Enjoy. 

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“...and that is why, after careful consideration, this Council has chosen you two to mediate on the matter regarding Mimban.” Mace Windu steepled his fingers, and said with finality. 

“We are honored to carry out the Council's will.” Shaak Ti bowed, and spoke in a serene tone. 

“...” Zane lazily saluted, earning himself a sharp elbow from Shaak Ti to the side. 

“Ah. Yes. Will of the Council be praised. We'll be more than happy to spend our time negotiating peace on swamp world.” Zane unenthusiastically monotoned. 

When Shaak Ti went to elbow him again, he pulled her in close for a side hug, and pulled her forward, making it seem like a group bow. The Togruta glared at him for a microsecond, but the slight fondling of her lekku made him putty in his hands, and she had no choice but to move according to his whims. 

He had 20 years to find the right spot, her enhanced sensitivity meant she was defenseless! 

Withholding a grin, he met Yoda's bemused expression, and felt his stomach drop. He knew that look. It was the kind the little green goblin made when he was brewing trouble with Master Oogway! 

“Resolve the conflict between the locals, and mining corporations, you must. Pirates and flesh eating bacteria, you need not worry about these.” Yoda tapped his cane playfully against his seat, then closed his eyes. 

“Here is the ecological report, I hear the booster shots are quite painful.” Master forehead-Ki Adi Mundi-levitated a dataslate over, detailing their mission. 

Zane felt the corner of his lip twitch, as he saw that an old pirate group was making a resurgence, and disease was rampant. 

“Is there a problem, Knight Zane?” Windu asked in an eerily calm tone. 

Zane stood up tall, and stared the bald man in the eye. 

“May the Force be with you, Master Windu.” Zane nodded, and then bowed once more to the council. 

“May the Force be with you.” They returned. 

Leading Shaak Ti out of the Council Chambers, she slammed him into a wall, and gripped his collar tight. 

“Little Ti, right here, in the hallway? That's highly improper.” Zane lazily yawned, and raised a bemused eyebrow. 

“Wipe that lewd smirk off your face.” She scowled, pointing a finger between his eyes. “And it's Shaak Ti, we aren't children anymore.” 

“How can you say that to your beloved Zan Zan? Isn't this what you always wanted?” Zane suggestively wriggled his eyebrows, and stared deeply into his eyes from less than a foot away. 

Shaak Ti pulled away, turned to the side to hide her blush, and clenched her fists. “Are you trying to get us kicked out of the Order?” She hissed. 

“Hmmm, what did you have in mind?” Zane lazily replied, and crept up behind her to put his chin on her shoulder. 

“When we were kids, all you ever talked about was going on missions together.” Zane began to lecture. 

“But that time we were Padawans on Raxus Prime-” She pulled away, and wagged her finger at him. 

“-doesn't count. How was I supposed to know that the malnourished girl wearing a blindfold & gag kept in the Queen's closet wasn't a slave, but was actually her secret lover?” Zane ran a hand through his messy hair, and looked up at the ceiling as if he were wronged. 

“It was an international incident. A civil war broke out when the King's family of nobles fought the Queen's family.” Shaak Ti said, trying to keep a straight face. 

Zane saw her almost break her composure through a half lidded eye, and moved in for the kill. 

“Ah, but do you recall how I resolved that particular diplomatic faux pas?” He winked. 

Shaak Ti's blush turned deep purple, and her supple red skin became almost totally flush. 

“That's right! I discovered that the secret lover also loved the King! Now they're one big happy family! With my investigative capabilities, and your brawn, this mission will be a cinch!” Zane painted a beautiful picture of the future, pulled her in for a side hug, and held his hand out as if envisioning something amazing. 

Basically, he was doing the Toy Story meme where Buzz grabs onto Woody, and pointing off into the distance. 

Shaak Ti didn't look totally convinced, but most of her anger, and embarrassment from the Council Chamber had vanished, so Zane would take that as a win. 

“What am I going to do with you, Zan Zan, you are a trouble maker.” Shaak Ti sighed, and rubbed her forehead. 

“Probably throw me into an insane asylum, and throw away the key.” Zane joked as she took him by the arm, and led him out the antechamber, 

“Mn, something like that.” She nodded along. 

“By the way, where are we going? This isn't the way to your quarters.” He nervously laughed. 

“Oh, I didn't tell you? Togruta are naturally immune to the diseases listed in the medical report. I can't have my dear Zan Zan fall dead on me.” Shaak Ti patted him on the arm, and said with a ‘well meaning, sweet smile.’ 

Zane's lip twitched, and he could only shake his head and chuckle at his childhood friend. 

“It's good to have you back, Little Ti. I was worried becoming a Knight would get to your head.” 

“Hmph…thank you.” Shaak Ti beamed, and patted him on the arm like he was a particularly good hound. “But you can't talk your way out of this one.” 

Her smile at his misery was wide, and beautiful. 

Whilst he outwardly moped, Zane secretly chuckled to himself. His cute little Togruta had once been a by the book, rules oriented puritan Jedi. Look at her now, dragging him through the Temple, uncaring about the looks, and whispers. 

Glancing at two befuddled Sentinels who were guarding a passageway, he gave them a two fingered salute, and then continued his act of ‘sullenly being marched to the medical bay.’ 

However, as they drew near, his fuax sullen attitude turned real. Zane had never liked the medical bay, nor did he have particularly happy memories with the extortionate bills he had paid in a past life. 

Having friends and family in the medical field, he was well aware how fake many of the care providers were. Oh sure, there were a few that really cared, and put in the effort, but they were a minority. Most people went into the field for the cushy pay, and social status. It was mostly the same here in a ‘Galaxy Far Far Away’ but at least here in the Temple, you'd get better care than almost anywhere else. It was only a shame that the Jedi Healers of today's era weren't anything like their Old Republic era counterparts, but that was a can of worms not worth digging into. He was here to slack! Not make the Jedi Order a better place! 

“I'll be outside.” Shaak Ti patted him on the arm, then let go. 

“Yeah. See you.” Zane morosely waved her off. 

“Oh, and Zane.” Shaak Ti paused at the door. 

“Yeah?” He looked up, a small smirk playing at the edge of his lips as he expected his earlier act to pay off. That she would now offer some kind words. 

“Try not to pout so much, the lines on your forehead aren't getting any smoother.” She quietly laughed behind her hand, seeing that her words had irked him, and then left. 

‘What?! Me? Pout! Outrageous!’ 

Zane sighed and leaned back in a chair, as a medical droid trudged into view. It started asking him standard questions, and reviewed his mission profile whilst preparing various vials and syringes. Regular Jedi stuff. 

Across the medical bay, seated calmly on a low cushion that absolutely had not been there a moment ago, was an aged turtle alien. His shell was weathered and his olive colored skin was dry. His long neck was drooping, almost as if he could fall asleep at any time.  Eyes half-lidded in contentment, he held a small ceramic teacup gently between his three-fingered hands.

Zane blinked once.

Then twice.

“…Master?”

Jedi Master Oogway smiled, and breathed in a warm steamy vapor from his cup. 

It was the same smile Zane remembered from his Padawan years: soft, knowing, and just mischievous enough to suggest that Master Oogway was going to impart a lesson. Whether that lesson be practical knowledge, philosophy, Force related, or a beating, Oogway's wisdom-and his hands-were rated E for Everyone. 

“Ah. Zane. Still alive. Very good.” Oogway said in a halting manner, as if he were pleasantly surprised that his words were correct. 

“???” Zane scrubbed his forehead with his robe, and then looked at his aged teacher with concern. 

The turtle-like alien was nearly a millennia old, and pushing the limits of his species. Showing up in the medical center couldn't be good. 

Zane rose from his seat, and bowed without thinking. “What are you doing here?”

Oogway lifted his teacup, sniffed it, and nodded in approval. “Drinking tea.”

“Yes, but-” Zane gestured vaguely around them. “The medical bay. Shouldn’t you be at the Council of First Knowledge? Reading something ancient? Or arguing about footnotes? Or…drinking tea with friends?”

Oogway chuckled, a low, gentle sound that seemed to slow the room around it. “Ah. But who says I am not doing all those things?”

Zane stared. “…are you astral projecting again?”

Oogway said nothing, but the sip of his tea, and the satisfied click of his tongue told Zane everything he needed to know. 

A Jedi Healer passed by, did a double take at the sight of a legendary Jedi Master sitting cross-legged in the bay, then decided that this was not her problem, and kept up her stride, making sure to look busy. 

Zane ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t understand why you are here. If you wanted to talk to me, why not give me a call?” 

Oogway’s eyes crinkled, and he stared knowingly at him. Zane could only scratch the back of his neck, and hang his head in embarrassment. Perhaps he had taken ‘lying flat’ a little too seriously. After his promotion to Knight, Zane rarely stepped out of his workshop. 

He set the teacup aside and looked at Zane fully now, gaze deep and unhurried. “You are confused because you believe I should be somewhere else.”

“Well, yes. You obviously aren't here for a checkup, master. I was hoping you would be outside sunbathing.” Zane shrugged, trying to hide the worry he felt for his aging instructor. 

Although they were separated by age, and species, Oogway was in every way the perfect mentor, friend, and confidant. He was family in every sense of the word. 

Oogway nodded slowly. “Then you and the universe disagree.”

‘Huh?’ 

Zane opened his mouth, then closed it again. He waited. Experience had taught him that interrupting Oogway only made the lesson take longer…or more confusing! 

“At every moment, we ask the same question without realizing it: Where should I be? The mind answers with expectations, and imaginations of the future. The heart answers with uncertainty, and confusion. But the Force?” He held out a hand, and grasped at empty air. “The Force answers only with now.”

The aged master gestured gently to the space around them. “I am here because the universe has placed me here. You are here because the universe has placed you here. And the needle-” He glanced towards Zane's side, where a tray of ominously shiny instruments just so happened to lie in wait. “-is also here.”

Zane groaned softly. “Of course it is.”

Oogway’s smile widened just a fraction. “If you are meant to learn something today, Zane, would you rather learn it alone…or with your old master nearby?”

“I suppose it would be unfair to the universe if I didn’t accept the help.” Zane joked, as the medical droid shuffled into view. 

“Wisdom is gained through experience.” Oogway shakily leaned his staff forward, and even though it was an astral projection, Zane felt it lightly bonk him on the forehead. 

“I'm feeling wiser already.” Zane drily remarked. 

The droid chose that moment to approach, injector in hand.

“Knight Zane. Please expose your upper arm.”

Zane winced and rolled up his sleeve. 

“Master, if you’re precisely where the universe placed you…”

“Yes?”

“…did the universe also place you here to watch this part?”

Oogway lifted his teacup again, eyes sparkling. “Naturally.”

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AN: I literally randomly pointed at the map, and Mimban was the planet that my finger landed on. Upon further research, that shithole is cursed beyond belief! Lmao, Force help our poor, lazy MC!

Speaking of Mimban, did you guys know that it was conceptualized before Dagobah, and was going to be a key piece in Episode V until it was scrapped?