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November 12, 2025

Maybe this is the end.

  • The text was written entirely through a translator, so it is most likely inaccurate.

So, I’ve made the decision to possibly wrap up all the activities I’ve been doing on this Patreon. The reason is that I don’t see a point in continuing. Over the past year, I’ve been working 12 hours a day, sometimes even more, every day. I’ve been trying to develop myself, learn new things, progress, and gain experience, but in the end, I haven’t reached the result I was aiming for. At this point, I feel it’s time to end this chapter because I don’t see a point in continuing. I’ll explain why I made this decision and what I think about it.

  1. Reason number one: About two months ago, I got banned on RULE34. The reason, as they explained to me, was that I was spamming posts. I decided to post 40 posts in one day, and I got banned. As a result, around 4000 of my posts were deleted — everything I had posted over the past year, except for these last two months. I reached out to support, asking why this happened, since someone like Balexy posts 60 posts a day. They replied that my posts were too repetitive, and added that I shouldn’t post the same content even if I change the characters, which is obviously ridiculous, because there are people who post far more than 60 posts a day, and their content is much lower in quality and completely identical. But those people have tens of thousands of posts on their accounts. I’m not sure if it’s personal dislike, bad luck, or some sort of conspiracy, but the fact remains. As a result of the ban, my traffic dropped by half, and for the last two months, I’ve made no progress in income, subscribers, or traffic. I have no idea how to fix this, how to get my posts back to the platform, and how to restore my traffic. I think this is one of the main reasons — reason number one.

  2. Reason number two: I have no idea how to progress in this direction. I don’t see any prospects because I haven’t achieved any significant success over the past year. Honestly, I’ve grown tired of this. I keep doing it in the hope that I’ll at least make some income from it, but in reality, the numbers are very modest, and I don’t see any prospects for further growth. No matter what I do or what actions I take, I still don’t notice any visible changes. Essentially, I just don’t understand promotion, and it’s even more complicated by the fact that I’m Russian and don’t understand how the Western or English-speaking internet works. Additionally, I don’t speak English, so I can’t communicate properly with people I might want to exchange experiences with or collaborate with.

  3. Reason number three: I don’t understand how to create NSFW content at all. I simply don’t get it and mostly just copy what I see from others. I find it hard to come up with anything original. Maybe it’s just a personal trait — not everyone is good at everything. Plus, I have psychopathy, and that probably has a strong impact on my work in this area. That’s why this is much harder for me than, say, doing technical tasks, creating diagrams, or writing prompts.

  4. Reason number four: I set the bar too high for myself. This applies to both the quality of the images, the content within the images, the quantity, and really everything. I’m constantly dissatisfied with what I do because it all feels like it’s never good enough. And I can’t do anything about it. This is one of the reasons why I decided to quit — I feel like I’m untalented and can’t reach the level I’m aiming for. Plus, it’s just hard to do all of this on my own. I can’t afford to hire help, especially since I don’t have any money. And on top of that, because I don’t speak English, it’s nearly impossible to find someone in Russia who has a strong enough understanding of this field. Yes, I’ve done a lot on my own, but apparently, it’s not enough to be one of the best.

To wrap up, I haven’t decided yet what I’ll do next. I might post something for those who stay, depending on my mood. Or maybe I won’t post anything at all. I’m still thinking it over. Most likely, I’ll post something, but I can’t promise the quantity or frequency of posts. It could be some of my personal experiments or just something interesting, but in the volume I’ve been posting, it’s unlikely to happen again. Posts will continue to be released for about a week. I still have some content that I haven’t posted yet, and I plan to release it over the next few days.

Also, if you purchased a subscription in the last 7 (04.11-11.11) days or have an annual subscription, feel free to message me on Patreon, and I’ll refund your money.