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July 9, 2026

Thomas Koch

Mayor Mattie is your Cryptkeeker (?) this week, and brings you tales of municipal maladies! Buckle up, boys and ghouls! We hope you like CATHOLICISM.

This is a FREE episode. Toss us a mere five bucks a month and get double the embattlements!

Comments (59)

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Etienne Soucy · September 18, 2026

Sometimes you step into an American town and discover that the Bene Gesserit have been there for a century, ensuring every generation has a man named Chud to call the Mua'dib a slur when he comes, as the prophecy requires

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Will Caskey · August 10, 2026

This is the first episode in which I personally know a mayor in the roundup!

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Victoria · August 5, 2026

Mattie gets an A- on Oregon pronunciation for putting the stress weird in Willamette but getting everything else perfect!

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Simplicius · July 28, 2026

I just listened to this episode and I was literally about to send in the story about our ex- Mayor suing the city as an item suggestion.

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lsh · July 18, 2026

Hi so the soap makers come into it because soap was made from ash. Which, firefighters etc. Cheers

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Missy Luft · July 17, 2026

I went to high school with current Providence mayor Brett Smiley

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Diana · July 15, 2026

I am now waiting to see if November crashes out in a future ep lol (I say it with love, sorry 4 ur loss)

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Meryl is not a Vampire · July 13, 2026

Wrexham mentioned 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 AAAAAAAAAAA red dragon AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Daye Gordon · July 13, 2026

Landlord sued us for eviction illegally in quicy and we won and got to keep half a year of unpaid rent. fuck that city. massachusetts fuckin mentioned tho

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Clark is downloading a car · July 13, 2026

FYI I am reliably informed that the gravel has been removed from the Hobo Hot Springs, and that it is once again freely available to the public! I plan to make a trip up there some time but Seattle's too nice in the summer oops

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NowhereMan661 · July 12, 2026

The Chud Revelations is fucking killing me.

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unsurprising · July 11, 2026

Another member of the theKochracy, Tom Clasby, Quincy's director of elder affairs, is going to prison for spending city money on 153 lbs of bourbon steak tips, matching vests for his prayer group, and a recording session, among other less interesting things. https://www.universalhub.com/2026/quincy-official-admits-he-satisfied-his-oversized-appetite-bourbon

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beatrix · July 11, 2026

"well, I was a fan of Robert as well as Sam, so I'm interested in seeing what the third Reich (soft "ch") is all about"

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Real-Life NPC · July 11, 2026

This episode has everything I could ever want from NGNM: Fallout references, a Finnish municipal item, Riley lore, rancid Eastern Washington politics, a guy named Chud, etc.

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Gallivanting · July 10, 2026

Not Feucht… who had been part of Bethel holding multiple days of trying to resurrect one of their worship leader’s 2yo when she passed

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Nina · July 10, 2026

extremely concerned for Nova’s safety in GLASGOW where she lives because she is DEEPLY INCORRECT about supporting england

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GhostMedic · July 10, 2026

On and off Vancouver (WA) resident here. We’ve never not had PROPERTY taxes, however Riley’s uncle was evading the INCOME tax. If you neither live nor work in Oregon, they can’t tax your income- but if major purchases (besides vehicles) are made in Oregon you can evade sales taxes. This is actually why Jantzen Beach exists as little more than the biggest strip mall you’ll ever see. They’ve surpassed our gas tax, sadly, but still lack alcohol or tobacco taxes. What chafes my ass is that OR charges a transfer fee on your income taxes, so they got $204.99 out of my biweekly paycheck when I worked in Portland. That transfer fee should come out of the tax, come tf on. We did recently create a wealth tax, but we had to do it in an ass backwards way because the state’s constitution expressly forbids income taxes and our last amendment eliminated the gender requirements for marriage (this predated Obergefell by several years and got overshadowed by legalized weed in that same election). The week that it passed, Howard Schulz announced that he’s leaving Seattle and within days the city got an NBA expansion team license, and Kevin Durand has said he’d play his last season in Seattle if the Sonics come back.

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aceplym · July 10, 2026

But which one of these many Kochs can set me up with fashion that can take me from the boardroom to the discoteca?

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Alexander Depa · July 10, 2026

I desperately need the original “hi I’m Chud Wendle” clip to show to a friend

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Maggie+Al · July 10, 2026

I prefer to think the bulldozer operator has a healthy relationship with his wife, is glad she's taking some time for herself, and is really excited to spend time with his son and the bulldozer.

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Meryl is not a Vampire · July 10, 2026

I'm a rooting for Norway 🇧🇻🤝🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 . I hope England loses the world cup. Really hope for world cup everybody jumps chooses England to curse next.

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Raymond Price · July 10, 2026

42:50 Having grown up in rural Western Washington, it's not *that* bad, but fucking yeah. No Nazis in my neck of the woods, AFAIK, but we/they did elect Marie Gluesenkamp Perez and her hate-on for sea lions. E: And WRT Vancouver, Joey Gibson and Patriot Prayer are based in the Couv. Lotta awful people down there.

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Gil the Gilded Dragon · July 10, 2026

Mr Koch giving very Italian Counterreformation with the statues & ephebophilia... That said i was like 7? 8? When after my first communion i found out about the pedophile priests & that had my gay sorcerer-priest ass finding theological points of fracture with Rome & the whole edifice of monotheism

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Gil the Gilded Dragon · July 10, 2026

St Barbara is the traditional saint of firefighters and miners like late antiquity bc she is associated with wildfire & lightning strikes She is also associated with medicine & skyscrapers. St Michael has associations with deliverance, not just soldiers Saint Judas Thaddeus is a grim one to put at a first response as the is for lost causes. Then there's the horse boys... St George & Sts... Basil & something else? i forget & those go back to like ancient Scythia "the Horse Twins"

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Australian Estuary Pirate · July 10, 2026

Making the patron saint of soldiers also be the patron saint of cops feels like a passive aggressive move by an undercover abolitionist that infiltrated the church, lol.

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Gil the Gilded Dragon · July 10, 2026

Licha. Tia Ma. Cuando un epi de Sin Dios y Sin Alcalde en estos Estados Unidos

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AF · July 10, 2026

Have you ever seen one of my favorite pieces of art, Eugène Grasset's "La Vitrioleuse" ( https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/633554 )? This is who is coming for the former mayor of Spokane, I guess

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Harold Gottfried · July 10, 2026

This MF said Willamette slightly wrong.

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norma1one · July 10, 2026

RHODE ISLAND PRIDE MENTIONED!!! 🦑🏳️‍🌈🥳🏳️‍⚧️🍾🏳️‍🌈🥂🐙

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Brian Danger Hicks · July 10, 2026

So, the United States Social Security Administration publishes lists of baby names going back to 1880, but if a name is used less than 5 times per year it doesn't get listed for privacy reasons, and apparently in no year since were 5 or more boys or girls named Chud. However, there have been a few kids named Chudney, peaking with 13 girls in 1982. Just mentioning it in case anyone needs ideas for a woman's name for any reason. Also, I thought it was rude to import marble statues into a marble mining town, but apparently the statues were bronze, not marble, and Quincy had granite quarries, not marble.

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Enbridge · July 10, 2026

¡Vancouver, WA Mentioned! So glad you finally touched on one of America's most accursedly municipal places. Because of my work I unfortunately have an inside view of much of it's weirdness. The most important thing to know about Vancouver is that it is a city by, for, and of Riley's uncles. The tax arbitrage opportunity has completely shaped the city. Despite being a deeply chud place the police are chronically underfunded because the defining feature of the tax base is they hate to pay taxes, that's why they all moved here. The much-touted waterfront revitalization is, in reality, mostly vacant condos owned by people who wanted a Vancouver address for tax purposes. Last year one of the millennial-lib city counselors became embroiled in a Pokemon Go related self-dealing scandal. Oh, and our congressional rep wants to kill all the sea lions. I frequently end up describing the whole SW Washington region as "cold Florida" because it's the only way to capture the vibe for outsiders.

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AbsolxGuardian · July 10, 2026

How do you self deal with pokemon go? Set up art installations for convient pokestops?

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Harrison Sanchez · July 9, 2026

THEY NAMED HIM CHUD?! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Serkles · July 9, 2026

There is a great documentary about local illuminati groups, its called Hot Fuzz.

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Commander Freddy · July 9, 2026

the list of lifetime savings at the funeral is killing me like damn all funerals should come with a stats screen

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The Steel Harvest · July 9, 2026

games work shop needs to redo bloodbowl for the footie

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etienne · July 9, 2026

i CANT believe that "Chud" is short for CHARLES

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themarinaraman · July 9, 2026

Hi, I’m chud wendel

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Al · July 9, 2026

Snuggles

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Melissa Moore · July 9, 2026

now desperate for a Mattie and November soccer (or possibly sports more generally) podcast

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Thief of Kings · July 9, 2026

Riley's uncle is a very normal guy from Vancouver. There are shopping centres in Portland just to service them.

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Ben Schwabe · July 9, 2026

I re-listened to the Glant episode a couple days ago and it was better than I remembered and I remembered loving it. Glant is life.

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The Dungeon of Bad Decisions · July 9, 2026

"he created some sort of tax eruv" is killing me

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rose johnson · July 9, 2026

Third southern new england fact. Our "emergency responders" complex in providence is built to look like a pistol when seen from above. Extremely funny on Google maps

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Lain of the Wired · July 9, 2026

Gotta say as someone who deals with scrupulosity I do think that guy's beliefs are genuine at least textually if not in fervor, cuz like you can translate that to kinda just any belief system if it's totalizing enough including like, applying it to being a perfect communist n stuff

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rose johnson · July 9, 2026

Also. Non mayoral but municipal. Part of my extended family lives in another boston suburb called Hull and I have been credibly informed that the local right wing school board crank is named Mrs yakubian and her husband, mr yakubian, is a boston cop

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Ben Schwabe · July 9, 2026

And their distant acestor, Dr. Yakubian, is why I need to wear sunscreen on cloudy days.

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Mikey · July 9, 2026

Still thinking of the guy getting his entire bloodline cursed by President Taff's brother.

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rose johnson · July 9, 2026

Neglected to mention that Brett Smiley looks like the medic from tf2

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Angel-of-Deadlifts · July 9, 2026

Spraying protesters is important in this heatwave so they can keep cool! Thats what the Berlin police were doing!

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Lilith Dyke · July 9, 2026

quincy ma has such a bounty of corruption. the head of Quincy Housing Authority also makes ~$275k/year - more than the stated salary for Boston Housing Authority's ED, while not even having 10% of the inhabitants, even under all the crazy management agreements they have with other towns. And, of course, the QHA treats the public housing tenants like prisoners. source: i work in public housing advocacy

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David Schuller · July 9, 2026

Never thought I’d hear the Spokesman Review uttered by anyone outside of eastern Washington.

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Lenny · July 9, 2026

It was genuinely a mild jumpscare

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Lilith Dyke · July 9, 2026

in a show of fairness to the communities of quincy, ma we will be replacing the statue of st michael with Guanyin

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r0sewyrm · July 9, 2026

MAYOR! CHUD! MAYOR! CHUD! MAYOR! CHUD!

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Ajusco Huerta · July 9, 2026

Nova, love ya and bellingham but norway will avenge mexico and destroy england like its 865. Haaland te amo

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Shiv · July 9, 2026

dios mio this is my prayer tambien

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Colin English · July 9, 2026

You listen to this podcast long enough and they eventually get to your mayor

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DarkWolfized · July 10, 2026

Jokes on you, my locality doesnt have one